A/N: Next chappie since I'm bored already and have it all typed out in my iPod anyway. Can't wait for dance (CCA practice) later. Enjoy!

This is dedicated to LadyMimi101. Thks for reviewing and yep, I might consider having some chapters in story format. Again, ENJOY!

Disclaimer: The day I own DGM will be when Leverrier celebrates valentines day every freaking day ESPECIALLY with the Noahs.

Number 2: Crimes of a rabbit and beansprout

OMGs diary!
My man ego has been seriously injured. This is a CRIME. A CRIME. And my heart aches over the fact that little ol' moyashi-chan betrayed me. That traitor.

So anyway, this is what happened. I suggested to Allen we sneak in Lenalee's room to err...acquire... Useful material. And he REFUSED. *sob*. First act of sin. So then I told him to just stand guard at the door for me and stood him there got guarding. Then I went to ransack Lenalee's drawer. The ones she keeps UNDERWEAR in. *nosebleed* I mean, come on. She had LACE. Pink lace. I think I almost gagged. So anyway, as I was going through these um, fascinating objects, I heard footsteps. Those footsteps stopped outside the door and my heart froze like in all those stupid horror and yet somehow romance novels (stolen yet once again) from Lenalee. Dear diary, it gets worse.

Then I heard voices. I put my ear to the door and heard Allen and LENALEE's conversation. It goes something like this.

Lenalee: hi there Allen-kun!
Allen: uh*jumps startledly* uh, hi Lenalee.
Lenalee: what are you doing outside my door?
Allen: uh... Nothing-just warning you there is a trespasser in your room-um-gotta go

And that TRAITOR just LEFT me there. Diary, I am literally weeping over this painful betrayal. It hurts to the core, I tell ya. Then Lenalee flung open the door and caught me red handed with a handful of pink frilly panties. Oops.

And well, it REALLY HURT. Her dark boots should be confiscated.

For a moment there, I thought I was a woman.

It really really REALLY hurts.

...

...I think my crotch is throbbing under the ice packs at the mere thought of that kick.

...I think my dick is going to bruise.

...

... OHMYGODS what if it's BROKEN? Oh my god, please please please let my tortured organ live. How else am I going to pee? Or have sex. Or get babies (not that I want any)?!

... It doesn't really feel broken.

... At least I think so.

...

I really hope so.

... That sprout is going to GET it, I swear. I WILL have my revenge! I will make you suffer too! I will make you feel my pain! Bwahahahaha!

I know- I'll get a komurin to chase Allen around.

I wonder if Komui will have it programmed to my voice. Yes!

-break-

I'm baaaaack. And my lovely plan for revenge is thwarted! How dare Komui have a meeting to exchange diaries and see what other Exorcists have written! Allen has gagged me (so I can't activate anything voice-programmed) and Lenalee is not letting me near Komui. Hell, she's not letting ANYTHING but paperwork near him.

Speaking about Komurins, when Komui read that I had DEFILED his sister and violated her privacy with that underwear thing, he strangled me. I swear I caught a glimpse of hell before coming back. I was THAT dead. Then he apparently threw me out the window-or tried to. I don't know, I blacked out. =_= Anyway, he is violating OUR piracy by having a read-out session whatever it's called. Next week we shall have to write comments in each other's diary. Boo Komui! Give us a vacation instead!

Panda is calling me to memorise more dumb-and-boring facts. Till next time, diary.

Adieu!
Lavi Bookman (apprentice)

A/N: Do review, or I might just come around with a Komurin and wreck everything!

How about I bribe you? Like, with a virtual Llama or something?

LadyMimi101, I give you a cookie for reviewing my first chapter.

Anyone else want a cookie? Hmm? Come on, You can't say no to a chocolate cookie!

Come on, you can even tell me which character's diary you want to read next! You can even request pairings

….now I just sound really desperate. WHATEVER, I'm not. You can keep your reviews.

~etErnal is out