Spoilers: None Pairing: Lestrade/Mycroft Length: 754 words Rating: PG-13 Warning: deals with issues of weight, references to sex
Summary: Lestrade proves that sex is a more fun weight loss technique than going to the gym.
AN: My internet isn't connected in my new apartment. It was raining yesterday so I couldn't go out to find wi-fi. So today I'll post two things. Below is "reason 13: Diet/Exercise". Reason 14 is "Celebrate recent weight loss" because the two are related I decided to make a picture for 14 instead of writing another fic. Unfortunately, this site doesn't really work with picture so I request that you go look for chapter 14 at my livejournal account also under the name Mystic7194. There should also be a link in my profile.
Growing up Mycroft had been a rather plump child. He'd been born slightly heavy for his size. Relatives would gather around Mycroft's crib to gawk. His aunt felt compelled to "pinch his cubby little cheeks." "Oh I just want to eat up those fat little legs, yes I do," his cousin coos. "Look at that tubby tummy" his grandmother points out. The doctor assured Mrs. Holmes that it was just baby fat. Mycroft would grow out of it.
However, a love of sweets and aversion to exercise had combined to ensure that his baby fat had not only remained but had expanded. Primary school had been difficult at first. A few of the other boys had teased him about his lack of athletic skills. They thought it was weird that he chose to sit on the sidelines reading a book instead of playing footie during recess. But he quickly won his classmates over by stepping in to solve the other student's problems. Mycroft made himself into the indispensable friend that everyone turned to in the time of need. They didn't dare make fun of his size for fear that the next time they needed advice to impress a girl or forgot to do last night's math homework Mycroft wouldn't be there to solve their problem.
Mycroft's weight didn't bother him again until his late teens. When the elder Holmes was entering Sixth Form, Sherlock was becoming a petulant pre-teen. He took every possible chance to ridicule his brother with one of his favorite subjects being the older boy's weight.
"Save some food for the rest of us, Fatcroft."
"Are you having a snack or feeding a small country?"
"I don't think you should go swimming, Fatcroft. A shark could think you're a baby whale. You are as big as one."
Mycroft would sigh, roll his eyes, and pretend he didn't care about Sherlock's insults but the cruel words stung. Sometimes Mycroft's façade of unshakability cracked and Sherlock's cold words made Mycroft flinch. Although Mycroft tried to cover it up, Sherlock rarely missed the chance to exploit Mycroft's moments of weakness. Mycroft eventually could not deal with his spiteful sibling anymore and began making excuses to eat his dinner in his room.
Unfortunately, Mycroft could not avoid Sherlock forever. Sherlock realized that Mycroft was hiding from him and actively sought his brother out. Sherlock was even more vicious with his taunts when he finally found the older boy. Sherlock's inescapable taunting inspired Mycroft's first attempt at weight loss.
Mycroft implemented a strict weight loss regiment that included eating very small meals (with absolutely no sugar or fat) and running every night until he collapsed. He slimed down rather quickly but that did little to alleviate his brother's mocking. Thankfully, Mycroft left for university soon after. Unfortunately, at University the combination of unhealthy cafeteria food and the lack of time to exercise resulted in Mycroft gaining back the weight he had lost.
This was just the first instance of Mycroft's yo-yoing weight problem. Over the next 20 years there would be more than a dozen cases of Mycroft quickly losing weight only to gain it back again shortly after.
After dating for more than a year Lestrade moves in with Mycroft. The move coincides with one of Mycroft's attempts at weight loss. Lestrade found some of his boyfriend's behavior rather odd. Mycroft rarely ate meals with Lestrade. Mycroft had a suspicious tendency to arrive just after Lestrade had finished eating. Occasionally Mycroft would return home in time for dinner but he usually just had tea or picked at the food. Even stranger, Mycroft would glare at anything sugary or fattening as if it had personally offended him. The worst thing, however, were the hours Mycroft would spend locked in his personal gym. Mycroft had barred Greg's entry to the room after it became clear that Lestrade had no interest in exercise beyond staring at Mycroft's bum in work out shorts. Both Lestrade and Mycroft had hectic work schedules (to put it mildly) so for Lestrade to lose what little time he could have spent with his boyfriend to the treadmill is unacceptable.
The next time Lestrade finds Mycroft about to enter the gym Lestrade pulls him into a kiss.
"Gregory?"
"If you want to work out, I can think of a more fun way," Greg smirks before pressing his lips to Mycroft's in another steamy kiss.
*** Approximately 67 minutes and 311 calories of sweaty, vigorous sex later…***
"Beats the treadmill, doesn't it?" Lestrade asks cheekily.
AN: I hope you enjoyed this fic. In my head Mycroft's problem's with weight are more psychologically damaging than the show lets on. Please leave a review. Tell me what I did well and what can be improved.