Hey, I updated, what a miracle. Lol.
EPOV:
Me and my family are moving again, following through our usual routine every four or five years.
I don't even know the sense of living at all.
The love of my existence died years ago. I stopped caring, I think I even stopped living the day I left her in the woods. What frustrates me the most is that they didn't even know the exact reason why she died.
I can remember all of it, clear as day, one of the disadvantages of being the monster I am.
She was back in Forks for New Years, visiting from her apartment in Seattle. Charlie knocked on her door repeatedly after being home from his night shift. After a few times of continous banging, he hurriedly find the keys, trying to be as calm as possible but his hands were shaking from nervousness, it was not the first time Bella tried to end her life. Please let her be okay, Charlie thought, praying silently.
His shaking hands opened the door, to find a peaceful Bella lying in the bed. Her face white... he immediately noticed something wrong and walked beside her, touching her face lightly. The temperature of her skin cooling from the lack of heat.
He tried shaking her frail and unusually thin body, his eyebrows furrowing with her lack of response. God, what's wrong... wake up, Bella... Wake up... he thought and I was silently hoping for her to wake up.
When she didn't, Charlie checked her pulse, and when he didn't felt beating, he hurriedly reached for his cellphone, dialing 911.
That's when I noticed she didn't even have heartbeat, at all. I can't hear one. The warm blood that was once flowing in her body stopped.
I watched as the paramedics, come and pick up the body of my love.
My dead heart shattered that day and I lost hope at everything.
I should have been there earlier, I chastised myself. I could have saved her.
That night at the morgue, I entered silently, unoticed by the nurses and people at the hospital. I sobbed quietly, tearless, holding her lifeless body in my soulless body for one last time. I would've - could've saved her but I was too late.
So now I pay for my recklessness and stupidity. I thought she was going to live her human life like a normal person would, but instead, she dwelled with her past with me and didn't move on. Unlike the human life I wanted for her to have, she died instead.
The doctors performed autopsy on her body, finding nothing wrong with her. They said it was probably from a broken heart. (If there's such thing) Or brain damage. Like that was true. Still, I remained clueless.
I tried to kill myself, God knows I wanted to die. To vanish myself from the world without her. My brothers and sisters did nothing to help me with that. So I went to Italy, they refused to kill me, so I tried to make a scene, but of course, my siblings was there to stop my imprudent actions.
Don't kill yourself, Edward. You've made your mistake, you can't just run away from it by killing yourself. You have to live with it. Emmett thought and I think that was the only thing that stopped me.
Yeah, it was my mistake. I hurt her and she died when I knew I could've done something.
Emmett felt bad for saying those stuff, I can hear it in his thoughts something. He only said that to stop me, he didn't really mean it. It still played through my mind, like a broken record, because I know deep inside of my heart that what he said was true.
Even my family disagreed when I decided I'm leaving her, but I'm hardheaded. I didn't listen to any of them. Now, she's gone forever.
Alice called it moping, I called it suffering forever from her death.
After years of being alone, wandering from country to country by myself, I finally decided to come live with my family again. I went with them as they moved every few years.
And now wasn't any different, our previous residence was Vermont, now we're moving to South Dakota. The weather shall be cold there a lot, but there's times when they have warm weather.
We decided to take airplanes this time, because Alice made few friends at school, something she tried out ever since Bella, who insisted they go with her to the airport. That would be weird and all if we ran instead. They figured we would blend in.
It was just for a few hours anyway…
The flight attendants shamelessly flirted with us - me ignoring most of her sad attempts of subtle offers of joining mile high club.
The rest of the flight was uneventful. Me, quietly listening to music while my siblings try to act like humans as much as possible. I turned up the volume of my earphones to lessen the thoughts from all the people inside the small room.
Jasper has gotten better with controlling his temptations on blood, he should – it's been 150 years.
Carlisle and Esme decided to take a long roadtrip, driving their cars to our new home. We already have a house there seeing we lived there long time ago.
When we got to the house, we didn't roam around and wander like a new family in new house would. We've memorized this house by heart already.
My piano was shipped – as Esme promised. I felt like they've been doing this little things for me a lot lately. I hear it in their thoughts though, they do it because they love me and they don't want anything triggering me from leaving again. Sometimes I hear Esme's sad thoughts, When are we going to have the old Edward back… It's been a long time since she passed away. Please help our son be happy again.
I couldn't though, this is the least I could do - be with them. I can't offer them my sense of company because there's none. I'm just a useless twat residing in their house.
In a few days, we start high school all over again, I was enrolled as a sophomore student.
I sat quietly at my piano bench, finding solace by the piece of furniture.
This is the times where I just sit quietly and not play anything. Just remembering all the words said, actions done, how stupid I am for not seeing that she will be crushed if I left her. Sometimes, I just remember all the random things that we talked about.
"Edward, have you ever thought about what would happen years from now?" Her sweet, sweet voice cut me off from my daydreaming. I told you vampires are easily distracted.
We were lying quietly on her bed – just like we do every night. The only thing that can be heard was Charlie's snores from the other room, her heartbeat, the sound of the rain every now and then, her breathing. Her head was resting where my shoulder and arms meet. I was sniffing her hair like a dog, but I don't care because nothing could smell more enticing than the strawberry scent of her hair, merging with the smell of her blood and skin. There's always a thin line between lust and thirst.
"I don't like planning futures, love. I just know that I can't live in the future without you," I whispered in her hair and I could visibly see blood pooling in her cheeks, turning it into a love shade of pink.
Other girls buy tons of make up just to have that blush on their face, my love is gifted to have it naturally. Her face was never not blushing. Atleast, in the amount of time I've been with her, I haven't seen her face lose the god-given redness.
"Promise?" She whispered, voice so tiny that if I wasn't a vampire, I wouldn't be able to hear it.
I kissed her worries away, kissing her head. Inhaling her luscious smell. Her hair was filled with strawberry smelling aroma, mixing with her freesia scented skin. Everything about this girl kills me every time. She's just so… enticing.
She looked up to me, small smile forming at the side of her lips. She pushed herself up against me until our faces were leveled with each other. She kissed my lips slowly, passionately, and I was controlling myself from ravishing her like a thirsty monster I am.
I lay down, unmoving, I can feel her trying to get me to move. She kissed harder then, I finally gave in and moved my lips against her lips. We kissed each other with so much passion I think I might explode. I can feel, myself starting to harden. I traced her lips with the tip of my tongue, asking her for permission to invade her mouth.
She opened up and our tongues met and we both groaned. She's frustrated, I can tell – I am too. I roamed my tongue inside her mouth, the roof, her teeth, tongue, everywhere, not missing a spot – she likes it. She started moving herself above me. Sitting up, pulling me with her, she aligned our hips together.
Her hands wander across my chest and stomach, breathing heavily. She moaned when I grabbed her hair pulling her lips back to mine. She grinded against my pelvis – groaning as she did. She rubbed against my boner and I pulled back momentarily.
"We should stop," I rasped, my need heard in my voice.
"Please Edward…" She cried, "You want this too… please?"
She traced the outline of my zipper lightly, 'causing me to hiss quietly. "Please…" She whispered one more time.
I sighed and rolled us over so I was on the top. Moving the stray hair away from her face, I kissed her again until she was out of breath. I, then started trailing kissed down her neck, nipping on her pulsating skin.
She grabbed my hair, scratching it lightly. She wrapped her legs around my waist. I thrust up against her crotch and she gasped or moaned, eyes widened.
I groaned with pleasure and thusted against her again too hard, 'causing me to stop abruptly.
"Sorry," I whispered and she shrugged her head quickly.
"Don't stop, please…" She breathed out, and fuck me if she wasn't sexy.
She kissed me suddenly, closing her eyes and pulling her locked ankles at my back to to pull my body closer to her.
I continued with the thrusting, nipping at her neck again, careful not to leave a mark because I know she'll be mad at me later if I do.
The bed was squeaking quietly at our activity.
Her heart was beating faster than normal.
I could feel the building pit in my stomach that I usually feel whenever I masturbate.
"Edward, I'm coming…" She moaned out and I was so glad Charlie was out tonight. She started meeting my thrusts greedy for her own release.
I quickened my pace a bit more, nearing my own release. "Oh God, I love you…" I whispered spilling my cum inside my underwear.
Her face was red and she was catching her breathe by her mouth. We stared at each other for a long time. Breaking the silence when she whispered, "I love you too. Thank you…" She hugged me tightly.
I could visibly see tears brimming on her eyes before she hid her face in my neck. Did she really want this that bad that she was having tears of joy? Am I sparing her something that she wants so badly?
I suddenly felt so selfish.
Give Eddie a break, he's an idiot.
review(s) for the dry humping ex couples? :) x
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