"I can tell you're awake."

Jessica smiled and opened her eyes; Harvey was propped against the headboard and the expression on his face was uncharacteristically unsure as he looked down at her. "Have you been watching me sleep?" she asked as she sat up and moved the mass of hair from her face and onto her shoulders.

"Would it be creepy if I said yes?" Harvey asked.

Jessica paused at the emotion in his voice and looked away as she shook her head. "I would blame this on alcohol, but I'm afraid we're too mature for that," she said.

"Good, because the last time I checked we were both sober when we went to bed." Harvey's hand slid along the silk sheets and grabbed hers. "Are you regretting last night?"

Jessica wanted to say yes, wanted to hurt Harvey so he wouldn't ask for… ask for ithis/i anymore. Wouldn't iwant/i it anymore, but she wouldn't lie to him. "No, I'm not," she said softly.

"Good." The smile on his face was like the sun rising; the drapes were drawn so the illusion of night still lingered in Harvey's bedroom. Jessica could appreciate wanting to keep a moment alive for as long as possible. She stared at her heels on the floor near the door; one was still standing while its mate was on its side. "Thinking about leaving?" Harvey asked.

"Kicking me out?" Jessica countered as she turned back to him.

"Never," he said seriously as he tugged her closer. Jessica obliged and found herself on Harvey's lap and in his arms. "I just don't want this to get weird for you."

"If we're being honest we've left weird ages ago," Jessica said with a laugh. She tightened her arms around Harvey's shoulders because she could, and admired the lean muscles as her fingers trailed down the cords in his neck. "I've never done this before, Harvey," she said after a moment.

Harvey hummed and held her closer. "Slept with me? Yeah, I know. I think I would've remembered if it was as amazing as last night was," he said against her throat.

Jessica smiled. "I haven't had much time for relationships that were more than mere distractions. I haven't been lonely," she corrected, "but I haven't been fulfilled in my personal life. The firm always comes first. Came; always came first," she said.

"I understood that, Jessica; it was the same for me. I didn't need anything real and lasting in my personal life as long as I had you and the firm. Now I have you and I don't even need the firm," Harvey said.

"Who says you have me?" Jessica asked as Harvey took two quick kisses.

"Because you let me kiss you," he said as he stroked her cheek gently with his thumb. "Because you're still in my bed and haven't moved to get dressed so I know you're comfortable."

"You think you know everything, don't you," Jessica said but didn't bother to refute.

"Objection your honor, council is stalling," Harvey mocked.

Jessica did laugh and pulled Harvey back onto the bed. Round two was in the bright daylight and just as good as last night; they spent just as much time laughing at each other as they did teasing each other to completion. Eventually the heat between them shifted to imolten/i and Jessica fell prey to the rhythm of Harvey's hips and as she came yet again his name was on her lips and belatedly she realized she could get used to this.

***

"And why shouldn't you?" Olivia asked over a glass of white wine. The lively murmur of the dinner crowd at Gilt is mostly absorbed by the decadently draped linens and mahogany paneled walls. "He sounds like a keeper if he wakes you up with more mind blowing sex."

Jessica couldn't find it within herself to disagree, and she felt a smile tugging at her lips. "It was nice," she admitted.

"More than nice; I've noticed you staring into your glass. It's not a bad thing, Jess," Olivia stressed. "It's nice to know a man or a woman can get under your armor."

"I don't wear armor."

"You're a black, female professional. You better be wearing armor," Olivia said sweetly.

Jessica snorted softly and sat back in her seat. "I've missed you, Liv," she said. "Why don't we ever see each other anymore?"

"Because my life is crazy and so is yours," she said.

"Not anymore. At least, not right now," Jessica said; the good mood quickly turned sour. "Half of the senior partners were pains in my ass, but I find myself itching to finish resolving problems and workplace conflicts on the books before I left. I was at home and I almost barked for iLouis/i," she hissed.

Olivia chuckled. "Jess, it's going to take some time. You breathed your life and soul into that firm and other than a closet full of the most fabulous, highest, expensive heels, some exclusive real estate and a fearsome reputation, what have you gotten out of it?"

Jessica blinked. "…All of those things," she said.

Olivia waved her hand dismissively. "Things are things; I'm talking about someone who can hug you at night and tell you everything is okay. Someone who will rub your feet after you've spent fourteen hours in four inch heels. Someone who will appreciate how passionate you are about law and living your life on your terms."

Jessica stared into middle space. "I didn't have time for any of that," she said. "I didn't mind not having it, either. My job is… My job was rewarding in other ways," she said.

"Didn't say it wasn't; what I am saying is that you should've let Harvey in a long time ago. Tell me I'm wrong," Olivia said.

"You're wrong," Jessica parroted.

"Cute; tell me and mean it," Olivia corrected.

Jessica finished her swordfish and dabbed at her mouth. "Going back and forth is so high school," she breezed.

Olivia looked at her suspiciously. "Agreed," she said. "What are you saying?"

"As much as I want to think it's unethical to feel the way I feel about Harvey, there aren't any actual ethical boundaries being crossed."

"Again, agreed," Olivia said.

"So I'm going to stop trying to explain away what I feel about Harvey and just… Just live, I guess," Jessica said, feeling a little dazed. "I think I may have had too much wine," she said.

Olivia smiled. "You've stopped fighting fate; that's bound to leave you reeling."

Jessica shrugged a shoulder as she twisted the ring on her index finger with her thumb. "This is a big step; it would be prudent to want to be sure before I do this. Sex already changes most relationships; at least with Harvey I can trust he won't take this too far unless I give him the go ahead."

"Why are you holding back? Do you think you'll find someone better?"

"I think you know better than anyone it's not about ibetter/i," Jessica said quietly.

Olivia's smirk faded as she reached for her fork to finish her lamb. "Don't I know it?"

***

Jessica opened the door and smiled. "Thanks for coming," she said as she allowed Harvey inside.

"Thanks for coming? Sounds like I'm going to hear something I don't want to hear," he said as he leaned in to kiss Jessica on the cheek. She allowed him the brief peck but when she turned her head the kiss turned into a real one. Jessica had to take a step back breathlessly.

"That's not fair," she said, her voice tremulous.

"All's fair in love and war," Harvey said seriously as he closed the door behind him. His expression was wary. "Why did you call me over?"

"I thought we would have dinner and talk," Jessica said. She took great pains to dress down; a simple silk dress in hunter green. She hadn't bothered to straighten her hair so it fell on her shoulders in pronounced ringlets pulled back at the nape of her neck.

"Where are we going?" Harvey asked as he followed her into the living area.

"I cooked," she said nonchalantly. Inside her heart was beating; it had been a while since she cooked for anyone she cared about, and as much as she enjoyed showing her appreciation in such a manner it still made her nervous.

She'd never cooked for Harvey before.

"You cooked? I didn't know you could cook," he said as he eagerly walked around her toward the kitchen. "What are you making? It smells good," he said as he ducked into the kitchen. The pout on his face was adorable when he realized the kitchen was empty and pristine.

Jessica rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I've already set the dining room table. Would you join me Mister Specter?" Harvey wordlessly offered his arm and she accepted with a small smile and led him to her dining room. She didn't use it often but loved the view from the large windows that dominated one wall. The long stone table in the middle of the room was set for an intimate meal, a centerpiece of lilies and candles situated at one end of the table with two place settings.

"Salmon Oscar?" Harvey asked as he stopped and stared. "You made Salmon Oscar?"

"I can read a recipe, it's not that hard, Harvey," Jessica admonished, but she was secretly pleased at his impressed tone.

"It's one of my favorite foods," he said, his voice strange.

"I know." Jessica nudges him forward and Harvey goes to pull out Jessica's chair. Once she's seated he takes his seat and inhales deeply.

"It smells as good as it looks," he said.

"Thank you. There's plenty so I hope you brought your appetite." Jessica unfurled her napkin and placed it in her lap. "How was your day?" she asked before she speared some asparagus with her fork.

Harvey smiled and shook his head. "Are we doing small talk?" he teased.

Jessica laughed. "I'm not sure I remember how to do this," she admitted.

"What, eat and hold a conversation at the same time? Is it the lack of alcohol? If so we should remedy that," Harvey said as he caught a glimpse of the wine further down the table. "Bouchard? Would you like a glass?"

"Please." Jessica allowed her smile to turn fond as Harvey poured the drinks.

"You were saying you're not used to doing this; care to elaborate?" Harvey asked as he poured the wine into two elegant glasses.

"Not really, but I have a feeling you'll make me," Jessica joked after she took a swallow. "I've grown unused to relationships," she began. "Even when I was married briefly it was never really a relationship. I stood next to Quentin and he stood next to me. We lived in the same apartment and had sex and talked about our lives but we didn't really…" Jessica didn't know how to really describe what she felt had to be missing. "I can't marry you, Harvey."

Harvey's face fell; he attempted to cover his expression with the swell of the wine glass. "I understand," he said.

Jessica shook her head. "No, I don't think you do. I'm not ready," she said. "I need to learn how to be with you, and to be myself when I'm romantically involved with you before we can talk about marriage. If I get married again it will be the last time, do you understand?"

Harvey's expression had done a complete one eighty, from dejected to hopeful. "What are you saying, Jessica?"

"I'm saying that we can try this relationship, this ithing/i between you and me, we'll see if we can make this work."

"And if we can?" Harvey asked.

Jessica smiled. "Then I will concede to marrying you," she joked.

"I will take anything you give me," Harvey said, his tone and expression deadly serious. "I've been waiting for this."

Jessica's smile turned wistful. "I know." She leaned forward and kissed Harvey gently. "I've gone through all this trouble to cook; we should eat before it gets cold."

"As long as I get to pick dessert," Harvey said, and Jessica couldn't help but laugh.