Chapter 2: Ulterior Motives

I try to hold myself together because I don't want them to see me cry. This will be their last memory of me and I don't want it to be of me sobbing like a baby. I try to remind myself that I can cry when they're gone. I have just calmed myself down when my family walks through the door. My two older brothers stand in the corner of the room as my parents sit beside me, and my father puts his arm around me. This is all the comfort I need from him, and I begin to think we can spend this last moment in silence until my mother begins to speak.

"District 12 may finally have another victor this year," she says with a smirk on her face. My first reaction is confusion. She couldn't possibly be talking about me. I probably have the worst chance of survival, always having been lucky enough not to have to work every single day in the hope that maybe I would have food for my table. I have no idea what it is like to survive. Then a thought occurs to me. I may not know how to survive, but Katniss does. My mother isn't talking about me at all; she is talking about Katniss. My suspicions are confirmed when she continues with, "She's a survivor, that one." A pang of betrayal goes through me. My mother doesn't even love me enough to give me the false hope that I could come home. She decides to slap me in the face with reality, rather than comforting me to the bitter end.

However, a part of me finds hope in that remark. Maybe my endeavor to get Katniss home isn't as hopeless as I thought. My mother is right: Katniss is a survivor. If I could just keep the Careers away from her, Katniss could probably outlast the rest of the tributes on her own. I am overwhelmed with an amazing surge of hope as I see the plan beginning to form in my mind. The plan that just might make my desperate dream a reality.

We spend the rest of our time together in silence, as there is really nothing else to say. As I see my parents walk out the door for what I know will be the last time, I give them my best attempt at a smile. And when the door closes behind them, the tears that I have been holding in since the Reaping spill out. All the emotion I feel seems to be pouring out in those tears, so when I am finished, I feel empty.

I sit there, and suddenly realize how incredibly alone I am. My family only came because they were just that, my family. They only felt obligated to come because we share the same blood. None of my "friends" even bother to come because they know they won't see me again. So, what's the point, right? Then I think of Katniss. She is not alone. There are people who will need her and miss her. I see her holding hands with her little sister, walking to the Hob to trade with Gale, and finally, I see her stepping up to protect her sister, showing the extreme devotion that no family has ever dared to show. And suddenly, I feel the extreme determination to get her home.

My tears have stopped by the time the peacekeepers come to escort me to the train. I have no need for the tears now that I am incredibly certain of my mission. It is surprising to think how liberating walking to your death can be. As I reach the train I almost feel as light as air, until I see my surroundings. I have walked into the most lavishly decorated room I have ever seen. As much as I am in awe, I almost feel sick to my stomach. To think that half my district is starving and that the Capitol lives like this on a daily basis makes me want to punch someone.

My eyes lock on Katniss, and I give her a smile. She doesn't notice me though, as she is too distracted by our surroundings. I know she must be thinking the same thing I am, considering she lives among the chronically hungry. I turn and follow Effie to my room before I begin to scream.

My room makes me just as angry. I hold myself together because I know I am being filmed at every moment. I can't let them see me openly cursing the Capitol. If Katniss can control herself, I surely can. I strip off my clothes from the reaping, and take a shower. I dress in a simple shirt and pants and head into the dining car for the first meal.

I am completely taken aback by the sheer amount and richness of the food. After one plate I am stuffed.

Effie says, "You are much more civilized than the last group; they ate their entire meal with their hands." This shows how truly clueless she is. Those kids probably never had a decent meal in their lives, and when it came in front of them they dug in, eager to get as much as they could because they thought it could disappear at any moment. I look up and notice Katniss has started to eat her meal with only her hands. I can't help but smile at how much it seems to be bothering Effie.

After dinner, we go into another room to watch recaps of the reaping. To see what we're up against from Districts 1 and 2 makes me almost pass out. How can I expect to get Katniss home when this simply monstrous boy from District 2 will stand in our way? Then I see the little 12 year old girl from District 11. How could she even hope to stand up to these giant Careers who have been training for this their entire lives? The Games suddenly seem just a bit more despicable. As I watch our reaping back, I see what I seem to have missed while being too absorbed in my feelings to notice. Our mentor, who will be my partner in getting Katniss home, Haymitch, was so drunk that he fell off the stage during the reaping. I can only hope he won't be like this for the entire duration of the Games.

As if on cue, Haymitch walks into the room completely inebriated and vomits on the plush carpet. Effie takes this as time for her to leave and for us to deal with our drunken mentor. Katniss and I clean up the vomit on the carpet, and then I see Haymitch is covered in the stuff.

I turn to Katniss and say, "I'll go clean him up; you should get some sleep."

"Are you sure?" she asks. "I can get an attendant to help you if you want."

"I don't want them!" I snap. She seems to understand what I'm saying and backs off. She doesn't seem to suspect my ulterior motives. She doesn't suspect that my only reasoning for doing it alone is to convince him to keep her alive at all costs.

"Well then, good night," she says as she walks out the door.

I take Haymitch to his tub and run water on him. After his clothes have been cleaned I take them off of him and drape them over the towel rack. Then I set to trying to convince him of Katniss' survival.

"Look, I know you have to choose one of us, and I want it to be her," I say.

"Why do you think either one of you will get out of there, boy?" Haymitch says coldly.

"I don't know if one of us will, but if one of us is to win it needs to be her. Give her all the sponsors. I am going to be trying my hardest to get her home in everything I do, so it would be nice to have a little help!" I am practically pleading with him now.

"Look, I will see what I can do but if neither of you show potential, it will be like every other year. You two will die in the Bloodbath, and I will spend the rest of the Games drinking."

This is at least a start, and I doubt I can get anything else out of him in this state. "Trust me, I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen," I say, and I walk out of the room leaving him under the running water.

I figured I would post Chapter 2 since I have gotten some views on my first chapter. Still no reviews though :( So hoped you liked it and PLEASE review! Thanks!