A/N: Thank you everyone who has taken the time to review, follow, favourite and read this story so far, your support greatly motivates me to update faster ^^ I hope you have enjoyed it so far and that you continue to do so. This Chapter is purely based on Morgana's POV and her thoughts. Read and review, but mostly... Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC and the writers of the show, sadly.

Chapter 4: What is Love?

Morgana

Morgana leant against a wall in the castle courtyard while she waited to meet up with Gwen, nobles and knights would exchange pleasantries as they passed her. There was still some time before her maid would show so it gave Morgana time to reflect in peace on the events of that morning, to reflect on Merlin and… the kiss she had sneakily given him.

'What to do?'Was all Morgana could think after Merlin had left her chambers that morning, it's all she could still think about now. He had unknowingly given her so much to consider, and the biggest of those things had been what to do next.

She had been totally submerged in thought all morning; she had switched from pacing around her room to sitting on every surface possible and then too laying in every position imaginable on her bed. Morgana had been far too restless as she debated with herself about how to... Overcome her challenge. Because that's what Merlin was, a challenge, a handsome and mysterious dark haired challenge. It was by far not the only reason she was interested in him, but it was one of those reasons that kept her most intrigued.

She stared at the sky while a soft smile danced on her lips as the image of Merlin being… Well Merlin became clear in her mind. He was unlike every other guy she had ever met; usually they wasted no time in declaring their undying love, showering her with tokens of their affection and false promises. They treated her like an object, a prized possession and while she couldn't fault their taste, she hated it. 'How arrogant of me… Hmm I must be spending too much time listening to Arthur, he's rubbing of on me.'

And then there was Merlin, he was the total opposite, he treated her with respect and friendship, and not because she was a lady of the court or the King's ward 'Well not entirely true, he probably holds back because I'm Uther's ward.'But because she was a person, an individual, an equal.

She gulped and bit her lip as the thoughts of Merlin quickly grew more... Lustful. She wouldn't help but muse how she had... Handled him earlier, claiming his body as if it was her possession. 'I guess I can see the appeal of why men do it to woman like me… But not me personally. No man has ever earned the right… Well except one.' She had felt... Powerful, possessive, in control. Rare feelings for her, dark feelings and without shame she knew she had enjoyed feeling them.

Morgana remembered how she finally reached her decision and what she did. 'I can't take it anymore!'She had thought as she leapt off her bed and straight out of her chambers. She had guessed where he would be, and she was right when she heard the raised voice of Arthur shouting at Merlin coming from the Prince's chambers.

She had stood outside the Prince's chambers for a moment as she composed herself and tidied up her appearance. She had remembered back to a bit of advice she had given Arthur some time ago and felt it was appropriate then. 'Sometimes you've got to do what you think is right, and damn the consequences.' Surely following ones heart is the right thing to do?

A voice snapped Morgana briefly away from her memories. "Good morning my Lady."

"Morning Gaius." She said with a smile as the old physician stopped by her.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked in a soft caring tone, Gaius had always been very good to her. Always treated her fairly and cared for her and Morgana held nothing but the greatest respect for him.

"I am well, thank you Gaius. And you? Still doing your rounds?"

"Just rushed off my feat my lady and no. Finished my rounds but now need to gather herbs for the inevitable hangovers tomorrow." Gaius paused to roll his eyes; Morgana couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for him. The festivities tonight would give him plenty of work tomorrow. "Normally I'd have Merlin do this for me, but he seems to have gotten himself in a spot of bother."

Morgana chuckled softly, 'Poor Merlin, he must be in the stocks by now. I must pay him a visit as soon as Gwen's arrives.' "Oh dear, and how is Merlin?"

"Insufferable at the moment, he's been far too cheerful recently" Gaius lent in close and lowered his voice. "Between you and me, I believe he's got himself a secret lady in his life."

'Does Gaius know? Has Merlin told him something?'Her brow rose briefly as if to look surprised and amused. "Oh? What make you think that?"

Gaius let out a small low laugh. "My lady I've been around for quite some time and by now I can tell when someone's in love."

'Love? Merlin... Loves me? Surely not!' Morgana knew she felt strong feelings for Merlin; she had never been in love before so she didn't know if she was now. But she did know she felt feelings for Merlin that no one else had have ever stirred deep inside her. 'Am I in love? How would I know? Hmm... I think a girly chat with Gwen is in order.'

"Well who ever she is..." Morgana said with a smirk. "She's a very lucky woman... Merlin is very... Special."

It was Gaius's turn for his brow to rise as his gaze studied her, Morgana tried not to shy away for that would just make him more suspicious. But she could almost read in his eyes what he was thinking, 'I wonder...'

"Indeed." He finally said "Now if you'd excuse me my lady, I need to go finish collecting herbs."

"Of course Gaius. I'm sure I'll see you at the festivities tonight." She gave him a quick smile as he inclined his head then carried on his way.

With Gaius now gone, peace and quiet had returned. Which left Morgana's mind to wander back to the events of that morning. She thought back to Merlin in Arthur's chambers where she had approached them, Arthur had as usual been moaning about one thing or another while Merlin did his chores.

She remembered all the looks and single hints she had given him, which she had attempted to make as lustful and seductive as she could imagine. Every time Arthur looked away she would flash Merlin a smile or a wink, she knew it was mean of her, she knew Merlin would be unable to say or do anything while Arthur was around. But that didn't stop her teasing him.

She even made him blush at times with barely anything but a smile, although at one he repaid the favour. He had complimented her; 'He said I was beautiful.' it wasn't a rare compliment for her to hear. People told her all the time, yet coming from Merlin, it meant the world. She had gulped as her heart raced beneath her fast rising chest, her cheeks had gone as red as her lips as their gazes met and held for an eternity.

It was that moment that she knew, that she was sure without a doubt. 'Merlin feels the same about me.' Her body had soared with joy, she had wanted to run into his arms and kiss his beautiful lips, and she probably would have if Arthur hadn't distracted them with a cough.

'I'll get my chance, and I'll be damned if Arthur Pendragon will stop me.' Instead she found herself gossiping with the Prince about her favourite subject, Merlin. Normally she would have found his endless jousting and whining mind numbing, but this time he did part with some interesting information. Like Gaius, he too had noticed how Merlin had been acting recently and wondered if he had a woman hidden away somewhere.

And Arthur being Arthur, had taken it upon himself to insult Merlin's mystery lady. Which Merlin hadn't taken lightly to when he yelled unexpectedly at the Prince, surprising both him and Morgana. 'He had all but admitted he… has someone.' His admission, sort of, bolstered her spirits even further, giving her the courage to make her move.

And she did.

After landing Merlin a sentence in the stocks, much to her amusement. Arthur had vacated his chambers to carry out his duties for that day, and Merlin had proceeded to follow but she instead had grabbed his arm and held him back with her. 'This is it.' She had told herself as she moved very close to the manservant. But her courage had failed, and nerves had managed to get the better of her.

Instead she settled for whispering seductively in his ear, and then determined not to waste the opportunity completely; she placed a chaste kiss on his cheek...

Her world stopped, the second her lips fell upon his skin everything around her faded away. There was just her and Merlin, and that was all that seemed to matter. Her lips could still feel the warmth of his skin even now, hours later, she could still taste his unique sweetness, smell his intoxicating aroma. Just the memory was enough to wet her mouth with desire and lust, the urge to keep licking her lips was strong, persistent.

She had caught him by surprise; he had frozen in her close proximity. She could hear his fast paced breathing, feel the warmth radiating of his skin and she was almost certain she could hear his heartbeat thundering away. Morgana had been in complete control of the short but memorable encounter, it was the second time that day she had felt such power over him. 'Power, control and possession.'She found herself desiring to feel these again and again; they spoke to a side of her she didn't know she even had.

The urge to go further was maddening, the lust in his eyes when she pulled away, they cried out for more. And Morgana would have been all too willing to deliver, had it not been for Arthur calling Merlin away.

Morgana sighed and pouted, she regretted not taking the chance to go further. She wished she had kissed those naive innocent lips, wished she had run a hand through his hair as she deepened it. She found herself bringing a finger to her lips and tracing them softly as her mind wondered.

A tap on her shoulder made Morgana jump and quickly turn on the spot to come face to face with Gwen.

"My lady?" Gwen asked with a slight smirk.

"Gwen! Sorry I didn't see you." Morgana said with a smile as she looked at her maid.

"It's ok Morgana. I called you, but then I saw you had that look on your face." The smirk on Gwen's face grew.

"What look?" Morgana asked curiously, she wasn't aware that she had been pulling any sort of look.

"That look that says that you're thinking of someone special."

"I..." Her maid had got caught her of guard, Gwen knew her far too well and besides, if she was to ask Gwen certain questions then there was little point in denying it. "Yes, I was." she admitted with a blush.

Gwen smiles warmly at her. "Don't worry; your secret is safe with me my lady. Shall we?"

Morgana smiled and nodded; together they left the courtyard and headed into town. Signs of the approaching festivities were everywhere, people were rushing about delivering goods to others, stalls and tables were being set up. Banners of different colours and patterns lined the walls and sides of buildings, kegs of mead, ale and cider were piled up all over the place alongside caskets of food.

The smell of meat and drink was already thick in the air, after all tonight's festivities were first and foremost all about alcoholic beverages. It was the time of the year after which most barley and hops crops had been harvested and used to brew beverages, apples had been plucked for cider as well as other fruits used to make wines.

People from all over Camelot would bring their own homemade brews and share them with the rest of the people while sampling others. It was a time where everyone was entitled and expected to let themselves go and enjoy the produce of the land together, nobleman and servants alike would drink side by side as equals. Stories would be shared, friendships would be forged, and it was perhaps one of the most memorable times of the year.

There was perhaps only a handful that didn't enjoy this time of the year, tavern owners for the obvious reason that their trade would be free elsewhere for the whole night. And Gaius, who would be the one to make the never ending, rounds of delivering hangover remedies to the whole castle the following morning.

Morgana on the other hand loved it; it was one of the few occasions where Uther would permit her to indulge in such activities. Normally it was frowned on for woman of the court to consume more than the occasional goblet of wine, but not this night. This night she could drink anyone under the table and with a bit of luck once again shame a few of the knights and Arthur himself.

This year she was looking forward to it more than usual, it would give her the chance to socialise with Merlin freely in public as herself without raising suspicion.

Morgana and Gwen gossiped as they walked through the marketplace, inspecting the stalls of all the goods that had brought in from distant lands. Traders would abuse this time of year, people were far more willing to spend when intoxicated, and so traders would make the long journey with exotic goods that you wouldn't find at any other time. Extra guardsmen had been posted around the market to protect some of the more expensive and valuable stalls.

There were stalls of silk gowns and dresses, bracelets and necklaces with pretty and unique gems, brooches and hairclips made from rare metals. Everything a lady could desire to adorn herself could be found here.

Gwen found herself drawn to a small bronze brooch, while Morganas eyes fixed on a rather expensive but very beautiful silver necklace with a large blue sapphire. The deep blue reminded her of Merlin and his eyes, and as soon as she made the connection to Merlin, she had to have it. In her very delighted mood, she handed over several gold coins to the trader for both the necklace and Gwen's broach which she insisted on buying.

"Thank you my lady that was most gracious of you." Gwen said with immense gratitude and happiness as she put the necklace around Morgana's neck.

"You are most welcome Gwen." Morgana replied with a smile as looked down at the necklace as they walked. "Gwen... Can I ask you something?"

"Of course my lady, anything."

'No backing out now.' She took a deep breath then asked her maid. "How do you know if you're in love?"

Gwen's eyes widened in surprise. "Love? I... Well... It's different for everyone I think... But I would say you are if... You can't stop thinking of that person, if they make you feel special in a way no one else does, if you find yourself struggling to breathe around them as if intoxicated by their presence..."

Gwen paused to take a breath, Morgana gaze was fixed on her maid as she soaked up every word. "If you can be yourself around them and they won't judge you and accept you how you are, if you'd give up anything and everything for them... And those are just some things you could... Experience... But I don't think one can define love, I think you just know."

Morgana thought about this. 'All those things applied to how I feel around and about Merlin... When I kissed him I felt something inside me, deep inside, a feeling I can't put in words, is that love?' "I see..." Was all Morgana could say as she blushed. 'If what Gwen says is right... Then I...'

"Are you... This man, do you think you love him?" Gwen's face still displayed a look of surprise; her tone was full of curiosity.

Morgana didn't answer and just bit down on her lip as she continued to look at the stalls, taking the hint Gwen changed the subject and they soon found themselves laughing and giggling away as they made their way to the lower town.

The sound of laughter and that of fruit and vegetables being thrown caused Morgana to grin deviously. "Come." She said to Gwen and they hurried in the direction of the stocks, where through the crowd was the all too familiar sight of the raven haired servant being pelted with rotten produce.

"Oh no, what's he done now." Gwen said with a sigh and rolled her eyes as they approached the crowd.

"I have no idea." Morgana said and giggled as Gwen looked at her in bewilderment. "Comfortable Merlin?" She called out innocently which caught his attention right away.

"Totally my lady!" He said with a silly grin as a tomato hit just to the side of his face. "Am I right in guessing you haven't come here just to gloat after putting me here?"

"My lady!" Gwen said slightly surprised then chuckled. "Poor Merlin, what did he do?"

Morgana smirked as she looked between them and slowly walked over to one of the baskets filled with rotten fruit and veg. "He doesn't think I'd get my hands dirty, and thinks woman can't throw." She bent down and picked up the first thing that came to hand. "I'm going to prove him wrong. Right Merlin?" She pulled him an innocent face as she spoke in a gentle manner.

"Try not to sprain your wrist my lady." He said with amusement as he mocked her. The bystanders and those throwing fruit had noticed their lady and what she intended to do, they moved aside giving her free reign over pelting Merlin.

Morgana grinned and threw the vegetable which soared over the stocks missing completely, Merlin burst out laughing at her poor attempt. She couldn't help but smile as she heard his enticing laugh. "I meant to do that!" She insisted, which was true, she said as she toyed with him.

"Of course you did my lady." Both he and Gwen shared a glance as they chuckled. "What about you Gwen? Do you throw like such a girl too?"

"I'm not getting involved." Gwen said, unable to hide her amusement.

Morgana picked up another and threw it, it hit the stocks this time bit nowhere near Merlin. "Oh dear... Missed again." Morgana said with mock innocence.

"Come now my lady. Are you even trying? I thought you wanted to prove yourself to me?" He gave her an adorable grin which despite herself caused her to blush.

"Perhaps I just wanted to tease you first." She bent down and picked up a large ripe tomato, the crowd which had been watching began to chant her name giving her support.

Gwen was still giggling to herself as she looked between her two friends. "You? Tease? Never my lady." He said sarcastically.

She looked down at her hand then to Merlin; her brow shot up briefly and gave him sly grin. She then threw the tomato and watched it hit Merlin square on the nose. "Bulls eye."

Merlin grunted in disgust as his face was plastered with rotten tomato juice, the crowd cheered and Gwen was almost beside herself with laughter. Morgana joined in as she watched Merlin pull a variety of faces. "Lucky shot." He muttered in a low tone bit still gave her a small grin.

"Lucky shot? Hmm do you think? Perhaps I should try a few more times." Morgana winked at him and picked up more rotten produce which she threw at him, each one hit him squarely in the face. "Do you give up now Merlin?"

"Me? Never my lady." By now Merlin's face and hair was covered in bits of fruit and vegetables, yet the whole time he barely broke eye contact with her, his grin barely faltering.

Morgana picked up another large ripe tomato as an idea occurred to her. "Are you sure?"

"Positive." He said with a chuckle as she started to approach him, her hands fumbling with the tomato as she got closer. "Err… What are you doing?

She didn't answer him and instead gave him a sly smirk as she passed and around behind him and the stocks. Gwen was staring with interest as a sudden look of realisation glistened in her eyes. Slowly Morgana placed a hand at the base of his base and gently pushed up his shirt and jacket with her palm as it worked its way up him.

"Morgana! No! Don't!" Merlin said slightly hysterical as he tried to wiggle away from her, but of course he was unable to move.

"I'll ask again then… Do you give up?" She said softly just so he could hear her, her fingers traced small circles on his lean back, sending shivers down his spine but he didn't answer. "You asked for it then." She giggled to herself then without warning, pressed the ripe tomato into his back, causing him to yelp out as she smeared it over him. Satisfied with her work of art on his back, she moved back around the stocks and stood by him, watching down at Merlin with innocent eyes.

"I… I can't believe you did that, thanks for that!" Merlin's tone was one of disbelief, but he held no anger in his voice or eyes. He shuddered as the juices flowed down him body then surprised her with a small grin. "I'll get you for that my lady."

"Promises promises my dear Merlin." Morgana said in a soft seductive tone that again only he could hear, she brought a hand up to his face, oblivious to the bystanders watching and softly stroked his cheek with a finger. "I'll see you later."

"You can bet your life you will." He said in a smug and almost husky tone. Morgana felt her heart soar as she considered what he could mean. 'Ohh… Now I'm really looking forward to tonight.'

With a sideways glance she gave him a smirk and a wink, then headed back to Gwen and made their way back towards the castle. The bystanders who had been amused by her display resumed there fun now the lady had left them to it.

Gwen kept tossing her glances as they walked until Morgana caught her eye. "Something wrong Gwen?" She asked innocently, she knew nothing was wrong but she wanted to know what her maid was thinking.

"It's Merlin isn't it? Your mystery man, it's Merlin?" Her voice was a mix between shock and joy.

'Should I deny it? Is there any point? I can trust Gwen to keep it secret.' "Yes… Well no… Kind of? He's not my man… but I do…" Morgana paused and was unable to find the right word.

"Like him?"

"Yes… But I think more than that…" She pursed her lips together, she had let slip more then she had intended.

"Wait… You asked me earlier about, love?" Gwen's eyes widened. "You… Love Merlin?"

Morgana blushed and felt a lump form in her throat, stopping her from getting the words out and instead just nodded. 'Yes… I love Merlin.'

A/N: So! Morgana feeds her other side for the first time and admits the extend of her feelings for Merlin to herself. I hope you enjoyed Chapter 4^^ Please review if you have time would love to hear your suggestions or feedback, or just how much you liked it :) reviews are like virtual hugs :3 and are a great motivation :) Chapter 5 depending on the size will either be Both POVs or One POV then Chapter 6 the other. Getting closer to needing that M rating and the dark times ahead.