Tig lay in his room, propped up against a pillow on his bed with a stack of worn letters lying on the bed next to him. He had heard Katie and Chibs come into the club house. He had heard Katie's knock on the door and her frustrated comment before she walked down the hall, but he couldn't face her now, it wasn't the right time. He needed time to calm down and he wasn't ready to talk, let alone face her, just yet.

His rough hands held a delicate piece of paper, worn from being handled as though someone had folded and unfolded it to read it time and time again. The familiar neat, boxy writing carefully placed upon the page, front and back, brought a million things to his now racing mind. Starting with the first letter, he read each word, each sentence slowly as he had some many times before, careful not to miss anything.

Dear Tig,

I know me leaving the way I did probably has everyone up in arms right now. I know I've hurt a lot of people, people I never wanted to hurt and I'm sorry. Please, don't tell anyone I wrote to you, I fear it will increase the pain and anger and that's something I don't want to do. Also, don't attempt to look for me because I can assure you that your attempts will fall short. I decided to enlist, USMC. I know your first thought is that I'm a fucking idiot, but be that as it may, it was my choice, it's what I wanted. I have finished my boot camp and am getting shipped over seas in a week or so.

I had to leave, I couldn't stay in Charming anymore, at least not now. I had to get out, get way. There was just too much shit. Dad dying, mom being the way that she is, my biggest fear was becoming like her and with all the pain I was in from dad dying the idea was becoming too tempting. I believe the Marines is the best thing for me right now, it's what I need.

Like I said before, I know I hurt a lot of people by leaving so suddenly, without so much as a good bye, but I knew if I went about it any other way I would have never left. I would have never been able to stand there and look Uncle Clay and Aunt Gemma in the eye and say good bye. But most of all I would have never been able to say good bye to my best friend… You. Please, I hope you're not angry with me, my intention was never to hurt you or anyone, but to save all of you the hurt of seeing what I was on the road of becoming. Keep an eye on everyone for me, and please watch out for Aunt Gem and keep her safe. Most of all take care of yourself. I want your crazy ass alive if and when I ever come back.

No matter what happens Alex, just know that I have always loved you and always will with every inch of my heart.

Love,

Katie

Tig read over the last sentence a few times, remembering the way he had felt the first time he read the letter and read those words. In an absent minded way he ran his thumb over Katie's signature, lost in his thoughts. The knot in the pit of his stomach and the lump that had found its way to his throat the day he read the letter found their places once more. At first it had confused him why he was so hurt by her leaving, not only her leaving, but the fact that she had just left and not said goodbye. It robbed him of sleep for weeks on end; he was a walking zombie that did nothing but fight and drink.

For weeks he would lay awake staring at the ceiling remembering odds and ends about Katie in the many years he had known her. Memories of her as a little girl, maybe 6 or 7 years old, when her dad would bring her to the club house. As soon as her feet hit the pavement she would be running, desperately trying to seek him out and launching herself into his arms as soon as he came into sight. Fast forward a few years when Katie was about 14 years old, coming off the bus at the garage with a set of bloody knuckles and a fat lip. Tig was the first to see her and went rushing to her inspecting her face and hand with curiosity and anger in his eyes. As he rushed her into the club house so no one would see her, she told him the story. She had gotten into a fight at the bus stop with a boy that was making fun of her and saying hurtful things about the club.

"A boy hit you?" He asked in a dark tone.

"Yeah, but don't worry Tigger, I doubt he will be laying a hand on anyone, especially a girl, anytime soon," she retorted in a proud tone.

"What do you mean by that exactly?" He remembered eying her as he cleaned her hand and lip.

"Who taught me how to fight?" She asked in a cocky voice.

"I did…" He replied still eying her.

"Need I say more," was her answer.

He remembered laughing and pulling her into a one armed hug before finishing her hand. She had torn the shit out of it, apparently the boy had had braces and her fist made contact with his mouth more than once as she yelled at him that maybe next time he would think about the consequences before he opened his mouth. Apparently, in the boy's frantic attempt to cover his face and defend himself he hit her in the lip, which made her wrath even worse. Tig had bandaged her up and told her dad and everyone else that she had missed the last step when she got off the bus, hitting her face and scuffing up her knuckles.

Fast forward another few years, she was 17; it was right before her dad passed away. It was the after party of her graduation party at the club house. The two of them were shooting pool and drinking together, laughing and carry on like they always did. She was kicking his ass which always made him regret ever teaching her how to play. He was standing against the wall watching her as she walked around the table studying the eight ball, sipping her beer and smoking a cigarette. He remembered watching her place the smoke on the edge of table before she bent down to take a shot and the way she smiled up at him before sinking the eight ball. It was that night, the way she looked laughing with the guys in the club, her long, dark hair falling in her face, her blue eyes blood shot from the alcohol and the tears from laughing, that he realized how beautiful she really was. It hit him for the first time that the little girl that used to launch herself into his arms was all grown up and had become this beautiful young woman standing next to him. He remembered scooping her up in his arms that night, after she had passed out on the couch, and carrying her into his bedroom so that she could sleep comfortably and peacefully. When he tried to place her on the bed, he couldn't get her to untwine her fingers that had locked themselves behind his head. He ended up having to crawl onto the bed with her, his arm around her, her head on his chest, the both of them fully clothed, laying on top of the blanket. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself, not remembering the last time he was in bed with a woman when the both of them were fully clothed. As he watched her sleep, starting to drift off into a drunken sleep himself, he remembered feeling content and at ease, and the nagging urge to place a soft, innocent kiss on her perfect, inviting lips.

He had always loved her; there was something special about her, even when she was little that just always made him smile. The older she became, the closer they became. She understood his sick humor and countered it with her own twistedness. It was almost as though they had a silent understanding of each other. She was always close with her father, but on the other hand understood a great deal at a young age and never wanted to burden him with certain things so she confided a lot in Tig.

After weeks of losing sleep after she left, he realized why his stomach was in a perpetually constant knot. It wasn't only because she had left, but because she had left and he didn't know if he would ever get the chance to see her again. The fact that he thought about her at least 20 times a day, every time something would happen the thought that he had to tell Katie would flash through his mind. The fear of never again being able to make her laugh, just to hear it's melodic sound and to see the twinkle in her eyes ate at his stomach. But most of all it was the fear of never having the chance to let her know what she actually meant to him.

When he walked out of Church the day she came back, and saw her standing there he felt every muscle in his body relax as though a weight had been lifted. He wanted to grab her and never let her go. The happiness rushed through his body with such force it felt as though he would burst. Then, the most incredible thing happened… They kissed. All of his doubts and inhibitions were taken away the minute he broke the kiss and saw the look in her eyes. But, like some many times before, he did what he always did, acted like a dick and fucked the whole thing up. She wasn't a croweater, he couldn't just get whatever he wanted out of her, she deserved more than that. But old habits are hard to break and ultimately he felt like as quickly as it all started and as happy as it made him, it was all stripped away.

He knew her kiss with Chibs earlier was due to the circumstances, she had apologized ahead of time. But, it still didn't take the sting away. It brought back the same knot he had the day she left, along with the fear that he had lost her. This time though, he wasn't losing her to the Marines… That he could handle. No, this time he feared he had lost her to another man, and not just any man, a brother.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone that has put the story on their alerts and favs and a special thanks to everyone who has reviewed. Please let me know what you think. I originally had a different idea in mind for this story, but once I started writing it just took another direction and I decided to run with it. Do you like the little twist? Do you not like it? Questions, comments, concerns? Please review, they make me happy.