Katie woke up the next morning on the couch in an extremely foul mood. Her sleep, what little she had, had been riddled with nightmares and her body ached as though the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Sitting up on the edge of the cushion she ran a hand over her face attempting to wipe away the sleep and shitty feeling. Still in a haze she heard a chuckle from the other side of the room.
"Rough night kid?" Piney asked as Katie as she struggled to get to her feet.
"Leave me alone old man," she retorted with a glare as she finally got to her feet. "What time is it?"
"Just after 9," he said after sipping the tequila in front of him.
"Great," she said limping to Tig's room, praying he was already gone.
After changing her clothes, Katie limped back out into the club house dressed in a pair of old, ripped jeans and a T-shirt. It was quiet; almost too quiet which meant the guys must have been gone.
"Everyone gone or out in the garage?" She asked as she walked pasted Piney.
"Had a run, they'll be back later," he said inspecting the empty shot glass in front of him. "Where you going? Where's your cane?"
"Going to go work out and it's a little hard to hit the heavy bag with a cane in one hand, wouldn't you think?" She said as she walked by.
"Don't look like you're walking to good, just watch yourself kid," he said with a glare.
"Don't worry old man, I'll be fine," she said with a chuckle.
Katie hit the bag first for a while, trying to get some of her aggression out. She always enjoyed working out even when she was younger, it always seemed to help her clear her mind and start with a clean slate for the day. As she moved over to the bench, she hoped Gemma wouldn't show up, she really wasn't in the mood to hear a lecture right now. Gemma was never to keen on girls working out, it was something men did, not girls… Gemma just didn't understand.
Half way through her set on the bench she heard footsteps approaching.
"Shit," she thought to herself, expecting Gemma to start with the lecture. But instead she heard another female voice.
"Do you have a minute?" Tara asked. "I need to talk to you."
"Yeah," Katie croaked as she pumped out the last rep. "What's up?" Katie asked as she sat up.
"I wanted to talk to you about last night," Tara said eying her timidly. "How do you handle it?"
"Why did you kill someone already today?" Katie asked sarcastically.
"No, I mean how do you handle life with the club? The stuff you do, like last night," she said pulling her eyes away from the ground to look at Katie with an unsure look.
"Look Tara…" Katie started. "We are two completely different people. For me to sit here and list reasons as to why I do things… I just don't see you truly getting the point."
"Well, why don't you try," Tare said eying her.
"Why is nothing fucking easy," Katie said letting out a deep breath. "Well, I'm sure Gem gave you that whole, 'You love the man, you learn how to love the club' speak right?"
Tara nodded with a roll of her eyes.
"Well, for me it's different. I mean Clay and Piney are like dads to me, Jax and Opie are like brothers, Tig has been my best friend since I can remember, I've been close with Chibs since I was a kid… Ya know? I love ALL of those men," she said pointing towards the club house. "They are my family, they are all I have and since all of those men that I love are in the club, I love the club. Those men, that club is my family and I was raised that you always protect and stand by your family no matter what. My love and devotion to that club and those men dies when I do and up until then I will do whatever it takes to keep my family safe."
Katie sat back for a minute looking at Tara whose eyes were glued to the ground.
"Do you think I was going to give that stupid croweater a chance to even fire a bullet? Would you be willing to take that chance? That the chance of her shooting someone you love right in front of you or missing and hitting Abel, I don't think so," Katie's eyes started to blaze and her voice grew progressively louder as she stood up from the weight bench causing Tara to sit back. "I'm a Marine darlin', I've watched to many of my brothers and sisters, people I loved fucking die with the thought that maybe there was something I could do to prevent it. That's what it comes down to, one day you're going to have to ask you're self that question. What are you willing to do to keep the people you love alive? And if you make the wrong choice are you ready to live with the consequences?"
Katie couldn't take anymore, she turned and walked towards the garage, punching the speed bag as she walked by with so much force it sounded like it would come off the ring holding it up. Tara just flat out got on her nerves. She didn't understand the club or the deep love of the club; she didn't understand what the word loyalty really meant. She asked questions pretending like she was making an effort to understand, but she wasn't.
She stood in the garage looking at the list of repairs that needed done with the frustration still coursing through her veins. She had just gotten home and already things were starting to fall apart. She had finally let herself let down her guard around Tig and kissed him. Maybe, she was just caught up in the feeling of returning home and seeing him again after so many years away. It didn't matter because now he hated her, even after she had saved his damn life. AND on top of all of that she had also kissed Chibs and confessed that she had always had the hots for him… She was a kissing whore.
"God, what the fuck am I fucking doing?" Katie groaned to herself as she started to work on the car infront of her.
As she worked she thought about the things she had said to Tara, it was the first time since she had been home that she had spoken of her time in the Corps and even though it was vague she was still regretting it. She was regretting it because now she couldn't stop thinking about that day, the day that she had escaped with the wounds that she wore with some much pride, but yet so much shame at the same time. She had came out it with her life when so many of her brothers and sisters had lost theirs and sometimes she couldn't help but wonder why.
She worked for hours without stopping, trying to keep herself busy but her mind wouldn't stop. Piney had come out with a few beers in hand to check on her.
"How's it goin' kid?" He asked.
"It's goin' old man," she chuckled as she pulled from under the hood of the car she was currently working on.
"Brought you a beer, take a break," he said handing her a bottle.
"Thanks, I need one," she said with a sigh as she sat on the mechanics chair.
"Just don't overdo it, you're still not 100%, just watch yourself," Piney said in a fatherly voice.
"Yeah, I know, it's just better sometimes to keep myself busy ya know," she said before taking a long drink from the bottle in her hand.
Things were upside down right now but she never thought in a million years that it was about to get a lot weirder. The last thing she needed was another surprise or complication but it was about to come. She sat on the mechanics chair with her back to the garage door talking to Piney as she drank her beer unaware of the man walking up behind her.
"Katie," she heard a familiar voice say from behind her making her freeze for minute before to turning around.
When she turned to see the man belonging to the voice a gasp escaped her throat and the beer bottle fell out of her hand hitting the garage floor, shattering into a million pieces.