AN: Wow...omg, I never guessed I'd get that many follows, but my phone has been blowing up with all the emails, THANK YOU! I know I only got two reviews, but I'm not going to be a review whore :P Just let me know you want me to continue and you know I will!
Now, Ignoring Finn's stupid stunt in "diva" (not gonna say what it is if you haven't watched it, but if you have and you want to talk about it, PM me :] I can rant about it all day. I never hated him before now, but WOW!) here we go.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything but a laptop...no seriously, that's all I own of value...yup. Sucks to be me!
PS: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SONG KURT AND BLAINE SING AT THE WEDDING SO I"M JUST PUTTING A RANDOM LOVE SONG IN THERE THAT I THINK FITS FOR THEM!
Chapter 2: Wemma Wedding
Blaine woke up to a delicious odor and followed his nose to find pajama pant and Blaine's cardigan clad Kurt in the kitchen, hair mussed up from sleep and him humming a tune. Blaine immediately recognized it as their duet "Perfect." and without knowing Baine was there, Kurt began to sing.
...Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated misplaced misunderstood
miss no way it's all good
it didn't slow me down.
mistaken always second guessing
under-estimated, look I'm still around" and Blaine decided to join in. Kurt was obviously startled, but after a second, he sang his part too.
"Pretty pretty please, dont' you ever ever feel
like you're less than, less than perfect
pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel
like you are nothing, you are perfect to me.
you're so mean you're so mean
when you talk when you talk
about yourself- you were wrong
change the voices change the voices
in your head in your head
make them like you instead
so complicated, look how we all make it
filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
that's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same
oh, oh
pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
like you're less than, less than perfect
pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel
like you're nothing, you are perfect to me!
The entire time they were singing, they kept inching closer and closer to eachother, but never daring to reach out to touch the other. When the song ended, there was nothing but awkward silence for them, neither one of them daring to say what they felt. After a minute, Kurt broke the silence.
"Blaine, I wasn't expecting you up this early."
"I uh...well you know my nose knows where good food is..." Blaine joked. This got Kurt chuckling.
"Well, ummm... breakfast will be ready very shortly..."
"Oh, yeah...Kurt?" Blaine wanted to tell Kurt how he felt, but it was impossible. How do you tell someone you are in love with them still as much as day one when they already know? How do you tell them sorry for stuffing up the best thing that has ever happened to you when you've said it a thousand times. How do you tell the love of your life that he's perfect to you when you've stuffed up so badly that he can't trust you anymore. It was hard enough to make Kurt believe that when he trusted you. That was something not many people knew about Kurt. Kurt really didn't have that high self-esteem that he claimed. Many times, Kurt would think so lowly of himself that made Blaine want to cry. He wanted to tell Kurt that he hoped Kurt would love him still even though he shattered that mirage of what Kurt called perfection but he didn't know how. Fate stepped in though with a loud cough from Burt in the doorway with an amused smile on his face.
"I hope that breakfast wasn't burned."
"Please dad, I never let breakfast burn. How long have you been standing there?" Kurt scoffs.
"Long enough to be reminded just how great you sound. And that you and Blaine sound great together." Burt smirked.
"Yeah, well, sit your butt down. Breakfast is ready. Finn will be down in about two minutes so I think the two of you should enjoy breakfast while you can."
"You aren't joining us, Kurt?" Blaine asked, hoping Kurt wouldn't leave him alone with his dad.
"No, I picked at one earlier and I have to get ready." and with that, he hurried down to his former room. If you didn't know Kurt, you'd think he was just as poised as ever, but the hint of his ears reddened gave him away.
Burt got two plates from the pile Kurt left and handed one to a reluctant Blaine. Burt was amused by this, but decided when Kurt and Blaine got things straightened out, Kurt would be furious if he gave Blaine hell right now. Instead, he sat down and put his breakfast on his plate, which was surely healthy. Kurt wouldn't dream give his father anything else.
"Relax, kid. If I didn't shoot you when you asked me to give Kurt the talk, when I realized that you and Kurt had already had sex, or when you hurt my boy, I'm not about to shoot you for singing a song with Kurt in the kitchen." At this, Blaine sighed deeply and put his head in his hands, muttering something Burt didn't quite catch.
"Sorry kid, I don't speak mumble and it's too early in the morning for me to try to decipher it."
"Some days I wish you would have...shot me, that is. Put me out of my misery already." Blaine lifted his head, "I mean, it really couldn't have made anything worse, could it? It'd take a miracle to fix this. I don't know what to do. When Kurt called me at sectionals, he said that he missed me like crazy, that he was trying to forgive me but he just wasn't there yet. I want to fix things but it's impossible! The moment I knew I screwed up big time, I immediately decided I had to tell Kurt. I left on the plane the next morning and when we were alone, I told him. I've done everything I can think of to say sorry, and I know only time will tell to how this works out, but it's driving me crazy! On christmas, he didn't seem so happy to see me even though he said he was. I've just run out of things to do and I'm running out of hope. We seem just this close but I stuffed this up. Me. You know that night I tried to turn it around and put some blame on Kurt? I know its not his fault, and I have no idea why I even said it. I'm stupid and not worthy, I think I've proved that time and time again."
"Kid, listen, I know my kid. I trust my eyes. I saw what all went down here this morning and that was not Kurt slipping away from you. He's still in love with you. Honestly, I think it's obvious that you two belong together. You learn from your misakes, and time will gain his trust back if you earn it. When Kurt told me what you did, I wanted to hunt you down and beat the living crap out of you, but the first time I saw you after that- and Finn noticed it too, which is saying something- I knew you realized that the worst pain you could have felt was that you lost Kurt. I talked to Sam too, and he said you almost banished yourself to those kids from your old school to punish yourself. Stick with it and keep walking the fine line and you'll get there. I'd say you were already more than halfway there, judging by your little performance earlier," Burt said, knowingly. Blaine was cut off from replying, however, by a hungry Finn bounding in the kitchen, a sleepy Carole hot on his heals, begging him to please try to eat like a human being.
Blaine finished soon after that and grabbed his bag from his car. Knowing he would not want to use Finn's bathroom to change, nor ask to use Burt and Carole's, he knocked on Kurt's basement room door. When he heard Kurt's reply, he let himself in and made his way down the steps to find Kurt sitting at his vanity, using his many creams and products.
"Hey...I was wondering if I could use your bathroom to get ready in..."
"Yeah, go ahead. You definitely don't want to share a bathroom with him after breakfast," Kurt shudders.
"My sentiments exactly," Blaine laughed.
"Hey Blaine, as the second most fashionable male in the house," Kurt grinned, "Mind helping me choose a shirt, tie and shoes? I am stuck inbetween three," Kurt pointed to the bed, spinning around. Blaine carefully looked over everything and said, "Off white, most definitely. And of course, these," Blaine held up the pair of dress shoes instead of the high tops, "The only thing I don't think I can help you choose is the tie. I mean, you have a bow tie and you have a neck tie. It's Sophie's choice for you because you look great in both."
"Hmm... alright, high tops would have been great with that other shirt anyhow. Ok, bow tie it is," and with that, Kurt smiled at Blaine, "Okay, what snazzy suit did you come up with then, mister?" It did not escape Kurt's memory that the last time he was hardly dressed in front of someone else, he was nearly raped, but he tried to ignore it and put it out of his mind. He watched as Blaine unzipped the dry-cleaner's bag and pull out a nice looking suit and bow tie.
"No way you are wearing a bowtie to this thing, Anderson," Kurt teased.
"And why not?" Blaine challenged.
"Well for one, you always choose bow ties to neck ties, so it takes away from the whole image. Plus, the cut of that suit definitely screams neck tie."
"Well, I guess it'll have to suffer because I've only brought the bow tie," Blaine teased.
"Well, I guess you're in luck that you are at my place. I have plenty," Kurt stuck his toungue out at Blaine before turning to search through his ties to find the perfect one, making Blaine laugh. At long last, Kurt returned to Blaine, tie in hand, and handed it to him. There was an awkward moment when they were deciding who would use the bathroom first to get dressed, deciding that their relationship status with eachother would not deem it appropriate to dress in front of eachother like they would have when they were together.
When Blaine walked out of the bathroom door, Kurt was finishing fixing his hair for the billionth time it seemed. Seeing Blaine fidget with the tie, Kurt reached out to help him without thinking. Besides the hello's and the walking close, there wasnt much contact between the two boys and with such an intimate touch, it caught both boys' breath and they stood in silence, only broken when they heard Finn bound down the stairs, yelling something about how they better be decent enough for company. The spell broken, Kurt rolled his eyes.
"No, Finn, we're both completely naked," he said, sarcasm dripping with each word.
"Well get dressed dude!" Finn was never the brightest crayon in the box.
"Finn, just get in here already, geize."
With a little more protest from Finn and Kurt's annoyed assurances, Blaine and Kurt were laughing at Finn, who had come in the room with his eyes covered.
"Finn, I told you, we're completely dressed."
"Ok," Finn removed his hand, "Burt wanted me to tell you guys that it's nearly time to go. Mom also wanted me to check with you about how I'm dressed. This okay? I have to be dressed nice to be best man, right?" Kurt looked Finn up and down.
"You have my stamp of approval, for once. Lets go!"
The wedding was beautiful. Kurt was so glad he didn't miss it. When the ceremony was over, everything went full swing into the reception. Kurt couldn't help but think of his situation constantly. He tried to keep his head in the conversation with Mercedes (who had tackled him on sight) and Rachel. He knew that he and Adam were completely over. He wanted Blaine but was still having trouble looking at him without wondering if he could trust him. He wanted to take that chance, but after what Adam did to him, he wasn't sure that he had the best judgement. He did notice that Tina kept giving him the stink eye and Blaine was avoiding her at all costs. He made a note to ask Blaine about it and when Mercedes went to go sing for the new Mr. and Mrs. Shue, he did.
"Alright, why is Cohen-Chang giving me the stink eye?"
"erm...It's a little complicated there, Kurt."
"Is that code for you don't want to tell me?"
"No, it's code for it's not fully my tale to tell."
"I promise to behave, no matter what it is," Kurt crossed his heart.
"Alright...well, as you know, Tina and I became really good friends after everything, and I thought that it was all good. Turns out she had a...girl-crush... on me. I didn't notice it right away, and then I hoped that since she knew I was gay, she'd just get over it. Well, it didn't go down like that."
"How'd it go down?"
"Well, I tried to not let it come between us, but she kept nudging. Then, then about two days before you came, she tried to kiss me but I backed off. She refused to give up though and I ended up having to push her away. I was supposed to be her date for the wedding before that.
"Oh...ok. That doesn't sound like her though. Tina's sweet and non-pushy."
"Finn had us do Diva week. She's been dipping into her inner diva all year, but since that week, she's been crazy."
"Do I need to knock her down a peg or two? I mean, I'm glad she's getting some respect now, but she can't go forcing herself on people."
"Just play nice, Kurt."
"I'm still going to talk to her," Kurt said, standing up.
"Yes, sir Diva," Blaine laughed.
"Oh, and Blaine?" This got Blaine's attention, "Please tell me you held my title for me as biggest Diva in the male category."
"Don't worry, I stood your place for you. It would have been no contest had you been there," Blaine laughed, then watched Kurt walk to Tina.
"Cohen-Chang."
"Hummel." They stated as way of greeting.
"Look, Blaine just told me you were getting into your inner diva. Good for you."
"Yeah. Thanks."
"The only thing Finn didn't tell you about being a diva is that sometimes you go too far, and it takes another diva to put you in your place."
"I fail to see how I took it too far." Tina put her glass down.
"Kissing someone against their will just because you want to? Not okay, miss thing," Kurt snapped back. Ever since the Karofsky incident, Kurt's always been touchy about that subject."Look here, you want a diva showdown, here you go. I'm warning you though, Miss Cohen-Chang, I'm a lot more experienced at it."
"What do you care, you're not dating him. You BROKE UP with him for pete's sake. For weeks, months even, he was completely torn up. He didn't smile or anything. Did you care? NO!" Tina shot at him.
"You are way out of line. Let me tell you something, Blaine and I broke up because I couldn't trust him. He was upset because he made a mistake. You have no idea what I went through those weeks. What I still go through to this day. I bet you never even cared. You are just too pissed off that Mike broke up with you to see what you are doing here. Did you notice Mike has been trying to get your attention but Puck won't let him? God, you really are out of control. Reality check, this is life, it's not fair. Get over it!" And with that, Kurt walked away from her, leaving Tina completely speechless.
Blaine, having witnessed the little showdown, knew Kurt needed to calm down before it was their turn to perform for the happy couple so he grabbed a glass of water and wet his hankerchief, handing it to Kurt when he returned, red faced and angry.
"Have fun?" Blaine smirked.
"Never thought I'd see the day when I'd have to check Tina," Kurt said after a moment, using the hankerchief to cool him down a little.
"Sorry."
"What for? Geize. But it sure does lead to an interesting story. She kept saying you were mourning for weeks, maybe months. We've been broken up for almost three months now, Blaine. Who was the crush," Now it was his turn to smirk at Blaine.
"What?"
"Don't play dumb, Blaine. Now, tell me, who was the crush?" Kurt laughed, "It's alright, I'm not gonna get angry. Maybe a little jealous, but view that as proof that my feelings haven't changed."
"Only Tina knows. Unless she's really pissed off at me and decides to tell the whole school," Blaine rolled his eyes, after a moment, he gave in with a sigh, "Fine...it was Sam." And he waited for Kurt's reaction.
"...understandable."
"Understandable?" disbelief laced his voice.
"Yup, been there, done that."
"Woah!" Blaine couldn't believe his causual response.
"When he first moved here. I thought he was gay because no straight boy does that to his hair..."
"I KNEW he had to dye it!"
"...yeah. He was really okay with singing a duet with me and everything, but I had to save him the shame," Kurt laughed, "So... do you still like him?"
"What? No. Like I said. Was. He had a minor breakdown a couple weeks ago because he bombed his SAT's. I found myself being 'mentor' and well, I kept comparing him to you. I realized, with the help of Miss Cohen Chang, that he was just a deflection."
"And those lips."
"Oh my god, you too?"
"Duh! Come on, Blaine, they are rediculous! It's impossible to not want to reach over and kiss them. I do not blame you for that one,"
"Did I just hear all that right?" Blaine jumped and spun around to find an amused Sam behind them.
"Sam, how much did you hear?" Blaine was worried.
"Everything," He laughed, "Geize, relax Blaine, it's cool. The Blam Bromance is fine. I kinda figured you might. You were kinda acting like Kurt acted when I first moved here. I may be blonde but I'm not that dumb. Hey Kurt, if we ever get to playing spin the bottle, all three of us are playing. From what Britt has been talking about, you're the most amazing kisser ever," Sam laughed, "She couldn't stop going on and on about your dolphin kisses and baby hands."
"You sure? I don't want things to get wierd between us," Blaine tried to ignore the last part of what Sam had said.
"Nah, we're cool. Oh, and Blaine,"
"Yeah?"
"You tell anyone about my hair and I will seriously hurt you," Sam said seriously and walked away to talk to Joe. He turned around after a second, "Hey you guys are next up on the stage!"
Sure enough Finn was up on stage, introducing Kurt and Blaine's duet. Blaine immediately turned to see Kurt go through a mini freak-out like he always did right before Kurt sang a solo or duet, and reached out to squeeze his hand. Kurt jumped and once again, Blaine was wondering why Kurt was so jumpy. He'd never jumped like that. Even if he didn't want Blaine to hold his hand, he'd just pull his hand away. He filed that question away for a later time. Right now they had a song to sing.
As the music started, Kurt calmed down, as he always did. Once he got the first few words out, you'd never tell he was nervous. It was always Blaine that got caught up in the music. A time or two he'd forget the words, singing lalala's or ooh's to compensate for it. Kurt always laughed at him whenever he did that, but he'd join in and they'd have a blast. That was what Blaine missed the most. Little did he know that Kurt missed those times too. True to tradition, Kurt sang his part in the beginning and ended up being flawless.
As much as I love you
As much as I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
can i not like you for a while?
but you won't let me
You upset me oh
and then you kissed my lips
all of a sudden I forget why I was upset
can't remember what you did
But I hate it
You know exactly what to do
so that I can't stay mad at you
for too long, that's just wrong
and I hate that
you know exactly how to touch
so that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more
so I despise that I adore you
and I hate how much I love you
oh I can't stand how much I need you
and I hate how much I love you Love
but I just can't let you go
and I hate that I love you so
and you completely know the power that you have
the only one that makes me laugh
sad and it's not fair how you take complete advantage of the
fact that I love you behond all reason why
and it just aint right
and I hate how much I love you
oh I can't stand how much I need you
and I hate how much I love you Love
but I just can't let you go
and I hate that I love you so
and I hate how much I love you
oh I can't stand how much I need you
and I hate how much I love you Love
but I just can't let you go
and I hate that I love you so
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
and your kiss won't make me weak
but no one in this world knows me the way you know me
so you'll probably always have this spell on me
and I hate how much I love you
oh I can't stand how much I need you
and I hate how much I love you Love
but I just can't let you go
and I hate that I love you so
and I hate that I love you so, so
At the end of the song the duo found themselves staring straight at eachother. Noticing that this was not the time or place to have their conversation, they turned to the newlyweds and smiled, thanking them for allowing them to sing for them and hoped a long and happy marriage and made their way off the stage, quickly being replaced by Finn's introduction to the next song. They stood there long enough to know that Joe and Quinn were doing their duet "Saving All My Love for You" and then quickly exiting, hoping no one noticed their absence.
Outside, Blaine leans against the passenger side door, waiting for Kurt to begin speaking. He'd made a couple false starts already, each ending with a frustrated groan.
"Blaine, that song. I meant every word." He says. He knows those aren't the words he wants to say, but they kind of get the point across.
"I want to be so mad at you, to never forgive what you did with Ethan or whatever his name was," Blaine wanted to correct him, but he knew from past experiences that it was never the best option when you were in the doghouse, or in Blaine's case, trying to work his way up to being back in the dog house. The dog house was a much better place than the street in Blaine's opinion.
"Kurt..."
"Blaine, I want you to talk because I know that's kind of what started all this mess, but I'm afraid if I shut up now, I'll never get it out. Listen, it's just impossible to hate you. I think that's what's making this so hard for me, and I know you have been through hell and back too. I just wish I could take all complications away, you know. Why can't life ever be simple?" Kurt muttered the last part to himself.
"Kurt, life is complicated. I know I messed up. I know it's put you through hell and I know why you are so frustrated. I thought to myself so many times, if only I didn't love Kurt so much. If only it didn't hurt thinking of you with someone else. If only I could care less and move on. I understand. Really, I do. Life can't be complicated. Life is only simple for goldfish in a bowl, and look at them, they lose their memory constantly and they have a short life span. They get flushed down the toilet. I'll take complicated any day if you ask me." This got Kurt to laugh.
"See? If you didn't still make me feel so happy. If you didn't make me laugh so much. If you weren't so damn beautiful. So damn perfect in your own way,"
"I thought we established I'm no where near perfect,"
"Perfectly imperfect then?" Kurt steps foward to him.
"Perfectly imperfect." Blaine agrees.
"Can I be perfectly imperfect Blaine? Can I make a mistake, do something crazy wrong?"
"And what would you want to do that was so crazy and wrong?"
Kurt did not answer with words. Kurt didn't sigh, or walk away. Instead, Kurt closed the gap between himself and Blaine and connected lips. What started out with a soft kiss, soon urged a moan which neither would be able to tell you which one it came from, turned into a needy passionate kiss. When they broke apart, Kurt had a worried look upon his face.
"Oh my god, I'm so sor-"
"Don't ever apologize for kissing me. Don't ever feel sorry for loving me. You set the pace this time. You decide if and when we get back together. You decide how fast or slow. You decide how and where this goes. I have no right to decide anything like that. I just know that I want to be with you and only you. For the rest of our lives, Kurt. If that means you want to just stay friends for now until whenever, if ever, fine. Don't let me influence you, though I will fight for you until you tell me otherwise. The day you tell me you don't love me is the day I give up. Hey, come on, lets get into the car, it's warmer in there."
"Blaine?"
"Yes?"
"I don't know what to do."
"You will have to be a little more specific, here." Blaine joked, effectively earning an eyeroll.
"Well, I feel like I'm being told three different things all at once and I can't decide what to listen to. My head is just saying not to trust you. I can't trust you anymore because you betrayed that trust. My heart's saying give you one more shot because it's killing me to have you so close yet so far away."
"And the third thing?" Blaine questions.
"This." was all Kurt said and pulled Blaine's face to meet his again. Just like before, it got heated very quickly. Unfortunately, when Blaine began to untie Kurt's bowtie, PTSD kicked in and Kurt freaked out.
"Stop!" Kurt practically screamed, "Not again!"
"Kurt, what do you mean 'not again'? You flinch whenever someone touches you unless you intitiate it. You haven't told me anything that happened in New York and now you are freaking out as if I'm going to hurt you. Did something happen, Kurt? Tell me the truth. I understand that you don't want to go further and we won't. I just want to know what happened. Did that Adam guy hurt you?"
Kurt just sat their shaking, not knowing what to do. Wimpering to himself, he grabbed his wrist and held it to his heart. Blaine had noticed Kurt favoring that hand, but didn't think too much about it. Blaine reached over and gently took his arm, careful not to jostle him too much and removed the cuffling. When he rolled up Kurt's sleeve a little bit, it revealed a nasty bruse Adam had caused. Gritting his teeth, he couldn't stop staring at the purplish handprint on Kurt's wrist.
"Please don't tell my Dad," was all Kurt could whisper. All Blaine could think to do was to pull Kurt into his arms, and Kurt instantly burst into hysterical tears. It took at least ten minutes for Kurt to calm down enough to speak.
"Kurt, did he...?"
"No. I should thank you, by the way, for teaching me how to punch properly. I guess it did come in handy,"
"Thank god. Kurt, lets get you into the bathroom to clean up. You can't let others see you like this if you want to hide it from your dad. He's in there you know."
"Okay, but I don't know if I'll be able to hide it. I know you want answers. I think we need to finally get everything out into the open."
"Agreed.
Twenty minutes later, Kurt was composed and you could hardly tell he'd been crying. He decided that if anyone asked, Kurt and Blaine were talking about their relationship and it got emotional, but he was okay. They had decided on getting a hotel room that evening to have some privacy to talk without worrying. The rest of the reception was absolutely beautiful, and Kurt made sure to tell the new Mrs. Shuester that she did a wonderful job.
The drive to the hotel was uneventful and quiet, as was the booking. In fact, they stayed silent pretty much until they were sitting on the bed, Kurt staring at the carpet and Blaine staring at Kurt's injured wrist.
"I know we wanted to talk, Blaine but..." Kurt broke the silence.
"Kurt, it's alright, let's lay down." Blaine gently pulled him to the top of the bed, "Just promise me one thing."
"What is it?"
"If you see that douchebag again, avoid him. If he starts any trouble, call me. If he starts anything physical, you call the cops and then call me."
"I can do that." Kurt said, snuggling up to Blaine and kicking off his shoes, "Oh, and Blaine?"
"Yes?"
"I hope you are ready to stick around forever. They say you never fall out of love with your first love."
"I'm fully prepared for forever, Love."
Kurt drifted off, but before he could fully slip away from reality, he heard Blaine say something that made him smile.
"Kurt I swear to you I will make everything alright again, some how. And that starts with apologizing the right way."