Part II
(this part will be two chapters because of length.)
xx
Saïx stared at himself in the mirror, wet hair hanging in his face, pale damp skin, and empty golden eyes. He was a nobody in every sense of the word. His old name cast away, his feelings gone, his heart missing, and even his appearance was different.
He had an X shaped scar on his brow why he had it he didn't know. His ears were pointed like elven ears, his eyes were a deeper gold, hair darker blue, and oddity of all oddities canine like fangs. Who was this man staring at him in the mirror every day?
Isa his former self was now a heartless and he was what was left over from the loss of his heart. So was this man in the mirror his soul or was he just a mass of darkness trying to be what he once was? Hell even his voice was different it seemed deeper and more menacing.
His new appearance came with powers he never knew he had or they too were just a byproduct of being a Nobody. Whatever they were they fit him perfectly the rage of a man that lost everything and cared about nothing. It really didn't matter at this point he didn't have the emotions to care which just seemed to enhance the dark attitude he became a nobody with.
He was happy once upon a time ago before he lost everything he cared about, everything he loved, the only person he ever truly loved. It's was fitting that he literally lost his heart seeing as how he lost it four years earlier when his whole pirate family died.
He jerked the towel from around his waist and stares at the tattoo he had placed on his hip. A royal flush with his face as the jack, Rould's father as the queen, and Rould as the king. It was an exact replica of the cards he had given to Rould that fateful night when they were lost to each other forever.
He ran his fingers across the tattoo and snorted. He was going to have it put on his shoulder the first time but he wanted it where he could see it. The funny thing was when he separated from his heart his heartless took his tattoo and he had to get it done a second time along with getting his ears pierced. These were just two things he did to keep Rould in his memory forever.
He dropped his head against the mirror, stared into his empty ambers in the reflection, and sight deeply. He didn't know if it was worse that he couldn't feel the longing need or if he remembered it so well it seemed as if he could feel it.
"Saïx?"
Saïx lifted up and sighed deeply. "What?" He questioned as he wrapped his towel back around his waist covering his tattoo.
Xemnas appeared behind him and stared at him in the reflection in the mirror. "You waste your time remembering the past." He nodded. "This is your life now. Your old life needs to be forgotten so you can focus on what needs to be done here."
Saïx narrowed his ambers slightly. "My past is irrelevant to you." He bit out. "So long as I fulfill my duties to our cause everything else in my life is my business."
"Is it?" He arched a silver brow at him. "You long for your past to be your life once again but that person in the past is not the person you are now."
"I know that." He turned around, looked up at him, and narrowed his ambers even further. "But when I become complete I will be that person again right back where Ansem found me; lost and alone."
"So you wish to never become complete?"
Saïx snorted at that. "If I really wanted to become complete it wouldn't be that difficult. I know where my heartless is. How hard would it be to either take my heart back or merge with it?"
"It's not as simple as that." He nodded knowingly.
"Isn't it?" He arched a blue brow highly at him. "It has the heart, I have the soul, bring the two together and you have one whole person." The only reason he didn't try to get his heart back from his heartless was because of the forlorn, lost, desperate look on its face. He knew the pain it was suffering being he suffered it for nearly three years before he became what he now is. He did not want to feel those feelings again it was bad enough remembering them.
"Very well." Xemnas sighed deeply and nodded knowing full well he was fighting a losing battle with him. He didn't understand why Saïx insisted on holding on to the memory of his past life. It was the past and it should well stay there. He wasn't sure what was in his past that he so insisted on keeping a tight grasp on but whatever it was he needed to let it go. "Xaldin has brought back a potential new member and I received word from Xigbar that he too found one."
"Are we going to have the meeting when Xigbar gets back or now?" He questioned as he reached for his pants.
"We'll wait until Xigbar returns." He nodded. "In the meantime I will leave it up to you to get with Xaldin and work out the details with the new recruit. If you feel he isn't up to par let me know and we'll figure it out from there."
Saïx nodded as he slipped his pants on beneath his towel then dropped it to the floor when he pulled them up.
Xemnas caught a brief glimpse of something on Saïx's hip and drew his brows. "What was that?"
Saïx buttoned his pants and stared up at him. "What?"
"On your hip." He pointed at his hip.
"Nothing." He growled and walked out of the bathroom.
Xemnas followed him rather intrigued by the fact that number VII claimed it as nothing but he was getting rather tense about it. Especially since he didn't remember ever seeing him with a mark on that part of his body when he first examined him as a nobody.
"Clearly it isn't nothing since it is something." He placed his hand on his bared shoulder bringing him to a stop.
Saïx pressed his lips together tightly. "It's nothing to you."
"What are you hiding?" He questioned as he stared down at him. "You've been keeping something locked away inside you since…" He trailed off as he tried to remember when he first noticed that he was keeping something a secret. "I believe it was about the time you got your memories back."
"Again it bears no consequence to you." He glared at him. "Anything and everything of my past is MINE to remember whether you approve of it or not. I don't tell you how much of your past to remember or forget so stay out of my business."
Xemnas narrowed his eyes upon him then grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed him against the wall. "What are you hiding from me?" He demanded holding him tighter when he tried to get away.
Saïx gnashed his teeth together as he glared up at him. "For the last time it's nothing that concerns you."
"It is when your behavior is completely unexplainable." He nodded. "Is it something you're missing or something you're needing?"
Deep ambers narrowed. "Enough." He growled, placed his hands on his chest, and tried to push him away only to find he wasn't about to be moved.
"Answer me." He ordered. "What are you hiding from me?"
He couldn't take it a second longer. Just because Xemnas was the leader of their Organization that didn't mean he had rights to nose in his business.
Xemnas watched as the X scar on his brow began to become more pronounced and jagged as his hair began to stand on end. Whatever he was hiding was something so deep he was sure Saïx felt it on a physical level. However before he could get the answers he wanted he was going to have to stop him from going into his deadly berserk mode.
Saïx suddenly slumped against the wall as his powers quickly dissipated. Xemnas' lips covering his own was completely unexpected and more so when the larger man slipped his tongue inside his mouth. Why was he doing this? More importantly, where did he get off thinking he could just kiss him on a whim like this?
He pulled back and stared into his wide ambers. "Now, let's try this again."
If he wasn't furious before he certainly was now. "You overstepped your bounds." He growled then shoved the larger man away from him. "You ever do that again and Superior or not I will kill you." He hissed then vanished in a swirl of darkness leaving Xemnas standing there blank faced as always.
xx
Saïx walked down the hall doing his daily rounds as usual noting nothing of importance going on as usual. He had been effectively avoiding Xemnas for the last two days but knew he was going to have to face the man eventually. However he had to overcome the want to kill him for kissing him like he did.
The man stole something from him that was only ever reserved for one person and that person was long gone. Yet that didn't mean he would never see him again for he was sure that there was an afterlife and Rould was there waiting for him. The problem was getting there to him was easier said than done seeing as he was only halfway there.
However before he could get to his afterlife he had to deal with the here and now. Such as getting new recruits to fight for their cause such as the one walking towards him with Xigbar. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the newest member wearing the coat. He was familiar to the point that he was sure if he had a heart it would have stopped in shock.
As he stared at the blonde haired blue eyed man walking towards him he couldn't help but hold his breath in anticipation. Could it possibly be him? What were the odds that his long lost, thought for sure he died in the shipwreck, best friend and love of his life was here and a Nobody?
"Luxord this is Saïx." Xigbar insinuated as he nodded at the berserker.
"I see." The blonde nodded as they came to a stop in front of the number VII. He suddenly cupped Saïx by the face with both hands, placed a light kiss on his brow, then one on his lips, and smiled at him. "Saïx." He nodded then released him and walked off leaving Xigbar staring wide eyed between the two. "Come I want to meet this Superior you've been prattling on about." He ordered.
Xigbar stared wide eyed at Saïx for a second before jogging to catch up with the man.
Saïx just stood there staring wide eyed at his retreating form. "Rould." He whispered as he brought his fingers to his lips.
There was no doubt about it; it was him. He sounded like him, smelled like him, felt like him, and what he could taste on his lips tasted like him. Plus if that wasn't an indicator of who he was the kiss on the brow and lips was; Rould was the only one to ever kiss him like that.
He watched them until they were out of sight then headed for his room. His mind was in a whirlwind of thoughts and unfeeling but remembered emotions. He needed to talk to him and find out how he ended up here and how he didn't die in the shipwreck. However he'd have to wait for what was going to feel like an eternity for Xemnas to 'prattle on' about the Organization.
He could wait though, he waited this long and was still waiting for death to reunite them. An hour or two longer wasn't going to be any worse than the years he's already waited.
xx
"Man what are you doing?!"
Luxord stopped with his hand on the door knob and stared at the red head walking towards him. "Obviously I'm opening this door." He pointed out like he was too stupid to figure out what his eyes were clearly seeing.
"I know that." Axel huffed. "I mean do you have a death wish or what? That's Saïx's room and he barely tolerates people knocking let alone opening his door without permission."
"I'll take my chances." He opened the door, stepped inside, looked over his shoulder at number VIII and smirked at him. He then closed the door to his gapped jawed expression with a snort.
His deep blues easily spotted who he was looking for finding him standing in front of his window staring out into the darkness.
"I thought you died." Saïx whispered when Luxord came to stand behind him. "I thought for sure it was you I saw sinking into the eternal depths of the ocean." He sighed deeply. "I died that day."
Luxord frowned deeply and placed his hands on Saïx's shoulders feeling them tense briefly before relaxing. "It wasn't me." He began to gently massage his shoulders. "It was dark and what you thought was me sinking to my death was actually my father."
Saïx frowned at that. "He was a good man… for a pirate."
"That he was." He smiled then pulled Saïx back to the bed, sat down, and pulled him into his lap. He settled him into his lap the same way he had so many times during their lives, took his gloves off, and tangled his fingers into his hair.
Saïx laid his head against his shoulder, closed his eyes, and reveled in the familiar feel of his fingers stroking through his hair.
"I looked everywhere for you." Luxord whispered and tightened his hold around his waist with his other arm. "Everyone told me I was wasting my time, that you were in Davy Jones' locker but I didn't believe them… didn't want to believe them." He sighed. "How did you survive?"
Saïx gave a small shake of his head. "I don't remember." He sighed deeply and stared at his lap. "The last thing I remember seeing is you… well your father going under. When I woke up next I was in a hospital unsure of who I was or where I came from or anything." He sighed again. "Ansem took me in and let me live with him working with me to get my memoires back. Which after a lot of time and many frustrating days I finally got it all back." He looked up at him and frowned. "I remembered and wished I didn't."
Luxord moved his fingers from his hair, down to cup his chin, and gently trailed his thumb across his lips. "I wanted to die when I couldn't find you. Every time I thought I saw you or heard a rumor about someone similar to you and found it wasn't you," he sighed deeply. "I didn't know if I could go on. But I did hoping one day I would find you."
Saïx snorted at that. "And you did now that we don't have the hearts to feel it anymore."
"But I can remember just as you can." He nodded then leaned down and planted a light kiss on his lips. "And we can feel it on the outside if not on the inside."
"That will have to do for now." Saïx nodded lightly as he stared into his deep blues.
"Aye it will." He agreed then again pressed their lips together as his fingers moved from his chin down to the zipper of his coat. He grasped the little silver tab and slowly pulled it down opening his coat until it reached his waist. He ran his hand up his exposed chest to his shoulder and pushed the coat off.
He moved his lips down over his chin to his neck forcing his head back to get at his throat as he pushed his coat further down his arm until he pulled it free. Once he had that half of his coat off he trailed his fingers down his side, over his hip, down his leg to grasp the heel of his boot. He slipped his boot off followed by his sock then moved to his other foot and proceed to do remove that boot and sock as well.
He curled his fingers around his bared foot and gently pressed his thumb into the ball gently massaging it. He loved his perfect little feet they were now just as they were then smooth, soft, and fit in his hand perfectly.
He pulled back with a light suck to his bottom lip and stared into his empty ambers. He saw no emotion in those golden pools and he was sure Saïx was seeing the same emptiness within his own eyes. It was just another reason that being in the state they were needed to be remedied. He wanted to see the same glow of happiness he remembered Isa having when they were together last, four long years ago.
He moved his hand from his foot to his waist and stood him up before him to finish removing his coat. "Still perfect." He muttered then leaned in and placed a kiss against his abdomen as he moved his fingers to work open the button and zipper of his pants.
Saïx tangled his fingers into his hair and noted that it seemed more platinum then he remembered it. Not only that but his eyes seemed to be more an aqua blue than the deep blue they used to be. He didn't care though because he was with Rould even if he too was a Nobody with a new name. To him he would always be Rould just as he knew he would always be Isa to him. A new name didn't change who they were it was only a title of who they now are. A way for Xemnas to shed them of their past and become someone new.
However a new name doesn't change your memories and even if there were parts of your past you wanted to shed you never could. The most you could do is pretend they never existed but he never would. His past life was a good one… well until he was ripped away from the love of his life. Yet now here he was once again together with Rould who even if he couldn't FEEL the love he remembered it and for now that would have to be enough.
"Oh and what do we have here?" Luxord questioned once he had Saïx's pants pooled around his feet.
Saïx looked down and watched him trail his thumb over the tattoo on his hip. "A piece of you to keep you close always." He snorted. "I had to have it done twice; my heartless took it when it took my heart."
"I see." He smiled up at him then leaned in and placed a kiss upon the tattoo. "It looks just like mine aside from the suit." He stripped himself of his coat and showed him the exact same tattoo on his shoulder but where Saïx's was spades his was hearts.
Saïx ran his fingers over the tattoo on his shoulder and smiled. "Fitting." He nodded and copied Luxord's actions by placing a kiss on his tattoo. "You know," he started when Luxord turned back around. "it's almost ironic that you have this one as well." He ran his fingers over the 'Lucky VII's' tattoo on his other arm. "I'm number seven."
Luxord palmed his face and placed a kiss on the X scar on his brow. "And I'm number X and you have and X on your brow." He looked into his empty eyes. "How did you get it?"
Saïx gave a small shake of his head against his hold. "I don't know. After I lost my heart and woke up it was there."
"Actually," he eyed the scar and placed another kiss upon it. "I like it." He picked him up and set him on the bed so he was sitting on his knees. "And these too." He fingered the little diamond stud in his ear.
"Is that all?" He stared at him as his fingers began working the button on his pants.
Luxord smirked at that. "Well there's actually quite a few things about you I like." He grabbed his wrists when he started pulling down the zipper on his pants. "And I plan on reacquainting myself with each and every little thing about you I love."
"Oh and what do you love the most?" He questioned like he didn't already know the answer to his own question.
"Every inch of you." He purred then swept him up into deep hot kiss.
xx
"Man I'm telling you he just walked into Saïx's room like he owned it." Axel stared wide eyed at Lexaeus. "I tried to stop him but he just did it anyway."
"So what do you want me to do about it?" He larger man questioned with an annoyed sigh.
"Save his dumb ass before Saïx tears him to pieces." He pointed out with a huff. "I mean he's new so he doesn't know who's who and what not and he sure as hell doesn't know not to test boundaries with Saïx." He jabbed his fingers through his hair.
"Well if he's fool enough to enter Saïx's room without permission then he deserves what he gets." Lexaeus nodded.
"Not on the first day when he doesn't know everyone and all that." Axel waved his hand through the air. "There's just certain things you don't do like say rearrange Zexy's books or interrupt Vexen when he's experimenting with explosive materials. Just walking into Saïx's room without knocking or anything is right up there with kicking Xemnas in the ass." He shook his head at the larger man. "You just don't do it."
"Fine I'll go get him if only to shut you up." Lexaeus growled and started down the hall towards Saïx's room.
"Hey," Xigbar dropped down from the ceiling. "have you two seen the newbie anywhere? He's suppose to be training with Xaldin and we can't find him."
"Yea he's in Saïx's room." Axel nodded.
Xigbar crossed his arms over his chest as he walked next to the red head following behind Lexaeus. "What's he doin in Saïx's room?"
"I don't know." Axel shook his head. "He just opened the door and walked right in without a second thought about what he was doing."
"Wow now that takes a set." He nodded. "Though he did kiss Saïx the second he met him so…" He trailed off and shrugged.
"Really?" Axel stared wide eyed at him. "And what'd Saïx do?"
"Funny thing that," he shook his head. "nothing but stand there and let him."
"It sounds as if they know each other," Lexaeus pointed out. "or at the very least knew each other prior to becoming nododies."
"How?" Axel questioned. "I've known Saïx for a long time and he never mentioned anyone from his past before."
"Maybe he kept it a secret." Xigbar nodded. "He did have amnesia when we first found him maybe his real past wasn't so great and he didn't want to talk about it."
"Or maybe this Luxord was someone that used to pick on him before." Axel nodded wide eyed. "Maybe just maybe Saïx is the one in danger not Luxord."
"Well we'll soon find out." Lexaeus nodded when the stopped in front of Saïx's door.