Escorting Lotho back to the den, Bofur and the young hobbit walked into a tense conversation.

"You-did-so!" Lobelia was insisting, glaring angrily at Bilbo and her umbrella pointing menacingly at his chest.

"Really, Lobelia, I did not in any way mean to imply~"

"You so did!" Lobelia interrupted, "You accused my son of being slow!"

Bilbo sighed and rolled his eyes; "All I meant to say," He breathed through clenched teeth, "is that I know it was your son who did the crime because of this!"

With the stone in his hand, Bilbo pointed once then twice, at two faded letters.

"When you came to me a while back and asked me to teach Lotho cursive, He had trouble telling the difference between a cursive 'g' and a cursive 'q.' Besides that, even if he used the correct letters, this word requires TWO 'g's, not one Lobelia, but TWO!"

"Don't you snap at my wife!" Otho barked, once again rising to his feet, and Bilbo groaned.

"Here now!" Bofur interjected, "Let's all sit an' calm ourselves! I was just talking to Lotho and~"

"I was not snapping, sir," Bilbo seethed, "I was merely pointing out the fact that Lotho obviously still needs to work on his penmanship…and his spelling as well."

"See?" Lobelia hissed, "You are calling my son slow! How dare you! Who do you think you are?"

"What did you expect, dear?" Otho asked in a snotty tone, "He's a lot like his mother after all."

Bilbo's eyes narrowed; "Leave my late mother out of this," He warned, "Let's stick to what we all came here to discuss."

"Look," Bofur tried to say again, "Let's all calm down. I've talked to Lotho and~"

"And who said you could do that?" Lobelia demanded, pointing her umbrella at the dwarf, "I didn't send him off to the kitchen to socialize with…you."

Bofur, feeling wounded, bit his bottom lip and looked at the Lotho who had gone quite pale again.

"We don't need to be…arguing like this in front of the lad," He explained, "Besides…Lotho admitted he's the one who done it."

Lobelia squeaked while Otho groaned and rubbed his face.

Bilbo, on the other hand, looked quite pleased and began wrapping the rock in the cloth slowly as he let the announcement sink deep into his argumentative guests.

"Freely admitted," Lobelia wondered aloud, "Or was forced to admit it?"

Bilbo, stopping short of placing the rock back in the drawer, glared impatiently at the female hobbit;

"Bofur would never force anyone to do anything," He uttered venomously, "especially where a confused and albeit warped young boy is concerned!"

"Excuse me?" Bellowed Otho so furiously that Lotho whimpered and hid behind Bofur who felt his own anger rise as Otho bounded over to Bilbo and came within inches of the younger hobbits face.

"Who are you calling warped?" Otho demanded, "After all…I'm sure you've heard what other hobbits of the shire have speculated about you since the wizard left and he-Otho jutted a fat thumb at Bofur whose eyes had narrow as he slunk toward the two hobbits-took his place."

Lobelia observed her husband proudly yet made no attempt to end the tension; choosing only to watch the two of them and quietly hoping her husband would do her very proud.

Bilbo breathed in deeply and eyed Otho with an expression Bofur had never seen before; "Otho," Bilbo warned, "Back away from me. Take your wife and your boy and leave this household."

"Ye heard 'im!" Bofur added, "Now it's time to go. Lotho did what was right and, freely, admitted fault. Tha's all we wanted. No harm done."

Otho snickered while Lobelia chuckled coldly.

"What?" Otho dared, glaring at the dwarf before turning his heated gaze back upon Bilbo, "Are you wishing for a private moment?"

"Otho," Bilbo hissed, "Watch your manners!"

"Awww," Otho cooed mockingly, "Do you want to be alone with your pretty dwarf? Is that it? Do you need some tenderness from that disgusting fa-OH!"

"Uh-oh," Bofur muttered, but he didn't hide his grin.

"Bofur, you know, it's not really…all that funny," Bilbo was saying as he pulled his night gown over his head, "The sheriff could show up any minute!"

Bofur, red cheeked and holding his aching side, couldn't help but let out a loud guffaw.

"It was classic!" He groaned with wide grin, "I-I-I n-never would have thought ye had it in ye!"

Sighing before crawling into their bed, Bilbo observed the dwarf as he fluffed his pillow; "Well, would you rather I'd let him call you that?"

Bofur sniffed and wiped his eyes before shaking his head; "It made me feel better about everything," He explained, "I'm glad to know that in the end, yer still able to be the warrior I've seen ye be time or two in the past. I got me a body guard!"

As Bilbo lay upon his side to face his partner, he welcomed Bofur's strong arm that wrapped about his waist.

"Maybe," He replied softly, "But then again, like you feared, I might have made things worse."

Bofur pulled him close and kissed Bilbo upon his forehead before saying: "If it does get worse, it's not yer fault, but Otho's. That is, if he chooses to let others know yer the one that popped him like tha'"

Against his best control, Bofur couldn't help but snigger, receiving a gentle smack on his arm from Bilbo.

"It was like, when he fell, he started to do a summersault but then changed his mind and flopped onto his side!" Bofur chuckled, hugging Bilbo closer to him, "If it makes a difference, thanks for defending me."

Bilbo, not hiding his own smile, sighed and nuzzled into Bofur's bare chest; "I feel so bad for Lotho," He confessed as he fiddled with Bofur's chest hair, "He's more of a…I don't know…but they don't treat him like a son."

Bofur kissed Bilbo's forehead again before saying: "Aye, I noticed tha'. Hopefully, He'll realize that his parent's way isn't the best way to be. Before it's too late that is."

For a moment the two lay together as they often did; Bofur caressing Bilbo's curls while the hobbit relaxed against him and from time to time ran his fingers over the dwarf's bare, muscled upper body.

"You'd be a wonderful parent," Bilbo whispered, "It seemed only you and Lotho were the only ones to get along well tonight."

Bofur moaned and scratched Bilbo's hip; "I think ye'd do well yer self," the dwarf confessed softly, "Ye would raise a sheer genius!"

Bilbo chuckled and traced a finger over Bofur's well defined cheek bone; "Do you…do you sometime wish it? Having a child I mean."

Bofur hesitated and looked Bilbo over carefully before asking: "Why so many questions about rearing little ones?"

Bilbo moaned and caressed the muscled arm that held him firmly; "No reason" He replied before kissing Bofur.

"Good night."