I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead. I don't know how to say this 'cause you're really my dearest friend. - Studio Killers- Jenny.

I had a lot of thinking to do after last night. I immediately left, and silently entered my parents home. I was so familiar with it by now that I didn't have to think as I made my way to my old room they've kept the same for the past few years. I believe it was a silent hope that I'd come home and stay for good. I took a seat at my desk and just thought about it all. I'm living in this little city only a few hours away, and I'm working as a house keeper at a local hotel. I actually hate my job, and it's ironic to think that that's the reason I left home in the first place, to avoid a job I didn't want. But the job and my savings have me getting by rent with ease. However I'm not happy at all, and I can't make any friends no matter how hard I try. My room mates kind of a wacko. Well, not really, but she's just kind of weird. She makes me smile everyday, but it's different then having a friend. I live with her. Shes a very pretty and quirky girl. A lot of guys swoon over her. But she's just so out there, and it makes getting along with her difficult for me.

I dropped my left cheek down onto my desks smooth surface, it was a nice cool sensation and it relaxed me enough to allow my eyes to droop down to half lidded. I wasn't concentrating on anything particular. I had my phone in my right hand which was carelessly hung underneath my desk. I was gently stroking the smooth plastic with my fingertips, taking small notes on how the tiny little scratches felt against the sensitive pads of my thumb. Every scratch holding a memory. Sometimes life was so simple, with no problems. I like it when it's like that. But if life were like that, I'd probably live as a very ignorant person. I like being a dreamer, thinking up ridiculous things that I can't have. Like a perfect life, or a perfect friend. Dreaming is the one place I feel safe, and the one place I'm slowly drifting off to be with. I couldn't stop it. So I just shut my eyes. Then in no time the familiar tingling sensation of pure relaxation came streaming through my limps. I was on the brink of dreaming about something, really weird. Something MineCraft induced, but with a hint of realism. Though it was hard to say, because dreams change so suddenly. As fast as they come they could easily switch their roads.

I would have probably fallen off my chair if the night had continued like this. But a small little beeping slowly bored it's way into my mind. I was groggy, and not really sure about where it came from yet, until I clued into the sound of one of the greatest 8 bit games I've ever played. The first Legend Of Zelda game, for Nintendo NES. I brought my phone up and put it on my desk while I gave a stretch for the ceiling. I wasn't really clued into reality yet as I reached for my handheld portable life and read the message before my eyes finding myself instinctively squinting at the light.

"Hey, we should hang tomorrow! You awe me for Comic Con. Lol.."

I took a few moments still adjusting to the world around me. Then another one popped up.

"**OWE.. Goddamn Iphone and their bucking auto correct."

I smiled.

"*****FUCKING..."

It hit me in the face afterwords that it was Clyde. Fuck, I still didn't really have a game plan for this yet. I hadn't thought things through. But I felt like I needed to talk to him ASAP or I'd never get to speak to him again. So I decided on some kind of distraction.

"Whoa, it's like.. basically 4 30 in the morning. Your still up? oOo"

And it was a weird moment while I watched the sending bar build up. I shouldn't have added that weird face at the end. I wish you can take messages back, but of course.. Life is not fucking like that. I found myself getting up from my chair stripping my clothes, and stumbling around the dark to get into my pajama pants before I fell face first into my mattress. It was so comfortable. It had this heavenly layer of just, softness. I was really tired and everything seemed so foreign right now. I wanted to deny myself something I craved so badly but I just couldn't do it. I really wanted to hang out with Clyde more then anything. I hadn't seen the guy in a few years and I used to know him as good as a best friend should. I missed out on a lot with him and I really-more then anything-would like to do some catching up. But I'm scared... And I feel like I'm trying to subconsciously give myself some kind of punishment for having such annoying controlling hormones back then. Heck, I don't even know how I feel around him anymore. It could just be nerves getting the best of me, but I'd like to know for sure.

If that phase is still lingering I don't want it to make me feel crushingly awkward again like it used too. It's one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. It was so dangerous, it was waters I've never swam in before. I just want to stand by Clyde and feel that warm and fluffy friendship I felt after the first few weeks of knowing him. They were golden, and together we were kings. I don't know what changed for me, I really don't. And perhaps I'm still scared of it because, I'm allowing myself to be scared of it. Maybe the best solution is to face him, and to tell myself that I miss my friendship to much to let go, and I'm going to get it back. A phase is a distinct period of a forming development in ones self, right? All I need is a time of realization. I can't have a realization without facing the problem head on. So I have to hang out with him. And as I looked at my phone, I had realized Clyde text me back a good 5 minutes ago.

"Says the one awake."

He got me there. Smart ass.

"Anyways.. ... What would you like to do tomorrow? I'm free all day."

Again, just like last time, I watched the message send. And once it did, I rested my phone on my chest and focused my gaze at the ceiling. It was dark, and the color was a cream like the rest of this boring house. I always wanted to paint my room growing up but I was never allowed too. I wonder what they'd do, if my twenty year old ass went and bought some poppy red paint and painted this bitch. Would my dad pull his belt off and spank me with it? I couldn't help but start laughing alone in the dark at the thought. Cause they'd probably react that way. My parents just couldn't let me grow up in their eyes. I'll always be a child unless I walk their path, their path that I've told myself I wont ever walk. I have no idea why I was so stuck on this weird kind of rebellion. And just then Clyde's reply came in.

"We should dance bomb the mall. It'd be funny! Lol, and I got something I really need to show you! I showed Craig before and he called me a geeky retard. So I know you'll love it!"

I bit my bottom lip softly to simmer my building laugh into a silent giggle. I love how he kinda complimented me and insulted me at the same time.

"Thanks... Dance bomb the mall? I'm afraid I don't follow."

I honestly didn't get it.

"Ohhhhhh, You know.. Dance bomb the- Nevermind. I'll show you tomorrow, you're going to love it."

Perhaps he's right. Dance mob does kind of sound fun... I guess.

"Maybe I will lol."

It was weird. We kept going back and forth with our messages, and the next thing I caught glimpse of the clock and it was 5 30am! I hate staying up this early because then I have a restless sleep. I told Clyde a quick goodnight. And awaited his reply. Falling back into how we used to act was very nice. I'm glade he made it so easy. He sent his goodnight, and then I was able to turn over and close my eyes.

"Kevin, Kevin wake up." Uhhhhng... My body felt so sore. But I turned over and faced my father anyways, my eyes dropped and looked at the time. 8 am. God..

"Whaaa'is it dad?" I trailed off in a long powerful yawn.

"You must get up, we're heading out in a half hour." What the hell is he talking about? I'm so tired.

"Do I have to come?" By this point I was blinking the sleep from my eyes, and taking my body into a sitting position. I was almost to my full extent, awake. And when my dad ignored my question and headed out the door, it ended up being an answer in itself. I pulled my lazy ass out of bed and got ready. I wasn't really sure where my dad was taking me, but I was so hoping it wasn't work. Cause today was supposed to be his day off. When I made it downstairs my dad was in the kitchen conversing with my mom. He was in black slacks, a white button up, and it was tucked in ever so nicely and kept in place with a nice black leather belt. The mans getting old, he had this weird thing where he wanted to keep his glasses from a long time ago. You know, the times when they were as thick as a bottle cap? He's had many opportunities to change them to some of the thinner lenses of today's people but every single time he refuses. I think it's some kind of attachment to the past. So he had these really thick lenses and his salt and pepper hair was in a clean comb over. I wonder when old people will realize a comb over actually doesn't hide the glistening skin beneath it. I love my dad.

"Good morning.." I mumbled, as they both turned their attention towards their only son. I was still rubbing my eyes, and must have looked like a mess or something. My dad didn't really give me time to adjust, he just grabbed his car keys and headed for the door. My mom gave me a smile as I followed my father and slipped on my shoes. Then to my surprise he walked right past his car. I caught up to him quickly falling in tune to his steps, and casually gazed forward. Looks like he was taking us to town. "Where are we heading to?"

My dad just smiled. "I'm just going to take my son out for some coffee after his night out. He can probably use it." I gave a small flinch. So they did know I left at midnight. I probably look like some party-going asshole now.

"Is this punishment?" The man laughed at me.

"Maybe, if you consider it as one." I sighed. "All I really wanted, was to take my son out for some coffee. I haven't seen him for a long time." I felt like kind of an asshole for jumping to assumptions because this is true. Last few visits he wasn't home, he was gone visiting family.

"Yeah, I guess it has been awhile." I couldn't really think of anything else to say.

The walk wasn't long but it was quiet. My father and I didn't have to many things in common, which meant we couldn't really think of what to say to each other. So it ended up just being a silent walk. It was familiar though. And I couldn't complain about it. My dad and I never often conversed. But I wasn't surprised when my dad had brought me to the only coffee shop in town. I held the door open for him and when I took a look inside I was thrown off and a bit surprised. The place was pretty full for one, and in the corner at one of these round tables sat four familiar faces. Craig, Kenny, Clyde, and Stan. The same exact people I seen at three in the morning, although added one. They were all out and about again, early as ever. For a moment I was going to tell my dad I was going to wait outside. But, I realized that running wasn't going to help me. Like I was thinking about earlier, I can't run form this, I have to face it. And as of right now, as my feet head towards a table full of people I don't technically know except for one, I'm deciding that I'm not going to allow my stupid hormones to take control of a friendship like that. I'm going to have Clyde back as my friend. It was bold of me, and their attention all seemed to be glued to the monitor of a laptop. I swallowed my nerves.

"Do you ever sleep?" And just like that, all of their attention shot up, eyes all focused on my face. It was a statement that was meant for Clyde, but could have easily been used for them all. I felt suddenly self conscious thinking about how tired and run down I probably look. And my body responded to that judging by the heat pooling on my cheeks. Clyde's eyebrow arose significantly and his lip quirked into a small cocky smile.

"Say's the one awake." I couldn't help but chuckle, He got me there again. Although I had a reason, my dad kicked me out of bed. But no way was I going to tell him that part.

"Well, their all sent out." Craig's voice interrupted. Kenny piped up at hearing that and looked over Craig's shoulder at the screen. He smiled.

"Nooooow, we wait." The blonde replied and then presumably picked up a latte and brought it to his lips. He took a sip, then his eyes widened. He immediately set his drink on the table and threw his full attention at me. "Kevin Stoley?" I think I felt my eye twitch. I nodded. "Holly crap you grew." He was smirking. Wow, Kenny got confident. From when I last seen him anyways. But like I said I never really knew the guy, so from afar he looked like a kid who was always hiding. Although I wasn't always perfect with my assumptions so there was a chance I could be wrong. Examining his face, he was pale as ever, and his cheeks were littered in the lightest freckles. Kenny's hair was a messy array of dirty blonde locks, his eyes were a pale blue, and his face was very smooth around the edges. But what defined him as a man was this thick stubble that trailed his jaw line. And it was hard to not notice the deep purple love bite at the base of his neck. Kenny was a handsome man, no doubt about that. "You still going to Star Trek conventions to hail Darth Vader as god?" His voice sounded very amused.

I smiled "Those, are two different things..." He looked at me, and then laughed at himself.

"Woops."

"But yes, I am still attending weird things." He nodded. He looked at me again. And it was a good long look this time, and I felt like I was shrinking beneath it.

"That stuffs getting pretty mainstream now though. there's so many people into it, it's like some kind of 'in' thing now." Marsh seemed to be agreeing with the blondes words of wisdom. I took notice to Stan's shaven and smooth face, unlike from earlier. It is true, every year there's another convention added to the list. And every year there are more and more people attending. Kenny turned his attention towards Stan. "Have you ever been to one of those places? Holly shit the girls are hot!" Stan seemed to be holding in some kind of giggle.

Clyde grinned, "have you ever got to see a Cammy White cosplayer?" Kenny's eyes widened and he shook his head.

"If I did I probably would have died and went to heaven."

"You'd go to the deepest pits of hell you whore." Craig broke the fun. Kenny raised a brow and slid closer to the stone cold man beside him.

"Every party needs a pooper doesn't it Craig? That's why god made you." Kenny's voice dropped a couple of notches in tone, I think he was going for sexy although I wasn't totally sure. "But, those were harsh words Tucker. I demand an apology." I immediately got awkward as the atmosphere seemed to have shifted. The blonde was flush against the guy now, and Craig seemed to be trying to ignore him with his attention glued to the LED. He typed out a few words as the blondes mouth got significantly closer and closer to his ear. And for a few moments he just let his breath fan out against Tuckers exposed vulnerable flesh.. I studied Craig's face and he seemed to be taking it like a champ. But then the blondes tongue ran a slow trail from the lobe all along to the top where he gave a gentle nibble. When I took another look at the victim he still hadn't flinched. But, there was a small, miniscule detail that threw his cover. There was this tiny hint of pink that was hewing over his creamy pale face. However he just wouldn't give the blonde any form of satisfaction. I honestly couldn't believe what I was witnessing. How can two guys just display such an action in front of a whole coffee shop? It baffled me. I just couldn't look away, and then Kenny's mouth dropped down to Craig's neck, it was then that Tucker frowned. Slowly his right hand came up, grabbed Kenny by the hair and shoved him away. The rest of the group started laughing while I stood their dumbfounded.

"Kevin's face is all red." What. A. Dick. I couldn't help this glare that just magnified itself to Clyde's face. He grinned like some kind of cat. I was going to tell him off, but the laughter of Kenny and Stan made it worse. This time it felt like a deep burn and all I wanted to do was drop my body under this table and hide in shame. I swear to god I was about to do it when a voice piped up.

"Here you go, your highness." The voice came off really soft. Though there was an edge to it, like it was ready to swing to high heights at any moment if it needed to. "I don't know why you insist I bring you your girly latte Tucker." After that, a really tall blonde placed a steaming cup in front of Craig who-to my astonishment-smiled as the man leaned his hip against the table while his arms crossed along his chest. I immediately knew who this was. Someone I wish I'd never have had to leave for so long.

"Tweek?" The boys shoulders tensed at the use of his name from a voice he probably barely remembers. As he turned around his Cambridge blue eyes widened, for a moment his arms flew up like he was going to hug me. But afterwords they dropped down immediately, and he got awkward like this wasn't the time and place for it. His fingers started to fidget against his black slacks, stroking at the seam line. His thin pink lips curled into a smile but his gaze dropped to the ground.

"Kevin, I haven't seem you in a few years. It's been so long." I smiled very genuine and held my arms up. He always needed a nudge in the right direction before he felt comfortable following his own decisions. He looked at me and grinned, taking my embrace. He was so thin, but he definitely emitted a warm and fluffy vibe. Tweek was one of my good friends through grade eleven to twelve, aside from Clyde. He and I had lots in common. Not like Clyde and I who appreciated the nerdy side of life, Like conventions and ball jointed anime dolls. Tweek and I got along because we shared a lot of the same experiences in our closed minded little hick school. I was picked on, he was picked on, and strangely enough we got put in a lot of the same classes all through our senior year. We loved to be partners for projects and stuff. No one ever wanted to partner with either of us so it worked great for our part. People say Tweek has problems. And he does, he has mental issues. It's clear as day. But everyone has problems, and Tweek's one of those people who live an everyday life without much help. He can handle what he has, he doesn't need people pointing it out to him. And I think that's the biggest reason he warmed up to me. I never pitied him. And not to mention he has a good head on his shoulders, this boy was very smart. And every project we'd do together we'd ace it. I often picked Tweek over Clyde for class projects, merely because the blonde actually participates. And on the side I admired Clyde's pouty childish face.

"I know! It's great to see you again!" We broke apart as he nodded an agreement. "We must hang out some time! I'll be here for four days."

"Nooooo!" A whiney voice break out in the background. I raised an eyebrow at the brunette. "We were supposed to hang out remember?" He jut out his bottom lip. Tweek snickered.

"No Donovan. I'm going to hang out with Tweek for the next ninety six hours. I drop you completely." I crossed my arms at my sarcastic tone of voice, a smirk rising on my face.

He scoffed. "Okay, I get it." I stuck my tongue out. It was a symbol of a spunky, "good."

I ignored Clyde again. "Give me your number Tweek then I can get a hold of you." He did just that. I added him as a contact and he added me. I was about to resume my conversation when I realized I just abruptly ditched my dad. "Oh my, I'll talk to you guys in a bit." I smiled and gave a small wave. As I was walking away I heard Kenny mutter,

"Do all geeky kids grow up sexy? Isn't Kevin kinda hot now? And all the hot girls at those events, is it a requirement?" I wanted to abruptly stop, then I heard a loud SHHHHHHHHHHHH. Tweek's voice becoming very prominent.

"Kevin can still hear you Kenny!" Clyde was laughing

"Good." I think he only did this to fuck with the fidgety blonde, and maybe ruin my life along the way too. He raised his voice significantly "Stoley I just want you to know, you're a sexy mother fucker now with your stylish hair and shapely legs! My heart goes out to-"

"Oh my god!" Tweek squealed, and I was catching their reflection in the window as Tweek was forcefully covering Kenny's grinning mouth. I decided to dismiss them as I slid into the seat with my dad. For a moment he looked awkward.

"Please ignore the idiots." No point in defending their behavior. He just raised an eyebrow before clearing his throat, then I noticed a cup in front of me. I took a small sip and then got enveloped in a moment of bliss. "Pumpkin spice! My god, you know me well'pa." His smile was very sincere and made the lines on his face very prominent.

"Kevin, I have something I want you to try for me." I nodded, sipping at my drink. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I took a quick glimpse at the screen. Clyde Donovan, I can still see you...

I had to steal a look at their table where he sat there giving me this creeper look. I rolled my eyes at him and gave my full attention to my father. But I have to admit, after leaving for those few years I love how I was able to fall right back to how it was with him. Clyde wasn't weird about it, and he just wanted to resume where we left off, and I couldn't be more grateful. I'm more then willing to open our friendship back up again and pick up what I left behind. I wish I hadn't abandoned it in the first place.

"I have a position for you." I widened my eyes at my father, questioning him. "The Geek squad Kevin. There's an opening and I can give it to you, I know you can do it. Best Buy would be great for you." For some reason I started laughing, I just couldn't help it. How damn ironic.

"Oh god. Sorry dad, it's just ironically funny. I used to be so upset when I was a kid with that label. It's become the 'cool' thing lately. I just couldn't help but laugh at it.. Don't be offended." I stared at his face of confusion through half lidded amused eyes slowly swirling my drink around in my hands. It wafted the sweet pumpkin smell through the air and I loved it. My dad gave an awkward smile and nodded his head. My dad is a manager for the only Best Buy in town. So he had the authority to give me this job. I should be happy. But having these black rimmed glasses of mine and working at Geek Squad, wouldn't that just seal my life?

"I know, I know." He gave his dark coffee a stare before he began his speech. "I'm worried about you Kevin." Oh here we go. "You're not going to college or anything, but you're so smart. You have so much potential and you're just not.." He trailed off lost in thought, "doing, anything with it. I'm trying to help you." I know it's his worst pet peeve. And I can sympathize. But I really don't want to go to college.

"Don't I need a degree for that job?" For a moment I thought he was trying to trick me into going to college and getting a job he wanted me to be in.

"Kevin, you're my son. I've had you my whole life and I know you have all the knowledge for a position like this. I can get you in. Please." I felt like he was begging me. And As I was staring in his eyes I seen exactly what he was feeling. He was actually worried about me. As his only son I think he just wanted me to impact the world as hard as I could, like any good parent would. I did have the potential to be anything he wanted me to be, but what he didn't get is I wanted to be what I wanted to be. And I have the potential to make that happen too. I wanted to design costumes and make all sorts of cool things. He doesn't see that as a real job, but in the world we live today, it's one of the biggest jobs you can even get. It can be high paying as well. And wanting to accomplish something like that makes me worry that I'll never make him happy. But, with the way he's looking at me right now, I'm realizing I haven't done anything for my parents at all since high school. I even left them. Maybe this is the one thing I could do to make them happy for once.

"Of course." His smile was so big and sincere, he was obviously ecstatic to hear my conclusion.

Chapter 2. I'm flowing with inspiration right now. And oh, my, god. I keep finding songs that match what I'm writing.. Lol. Studio Killers~