CHAPTER 10

Gibbs is sitting in the chair, facing his father's hospital bed were he's been for the last several hours. Watching him sleep, groan in pain and struggle to get comfortable. There is nothing he can do and this helpless feeling inside makes him edgy. He allows his mind to drift to the other cause of his tension... Holly Snow. Still angry at himself for how he handled their last meeting, Gibbs admits he screwed up. She had every right to be angry with him.

He hadn't meant it to sound that way, but she was very sensitive about her past. Yes, she had been the DC Madam... yes she had a long list of powerful clients who still to this day protected her and did favors for her, in exchange for her silence then and now. It was no secret there were headhunters out there who would pay a lot of money to get a peek inside her little black book. Gibbs was probably the only person in DC who really didn't care about that.

He had never seen her as a prostitute... although he'd experienced firsthand how good she was at her job. In her own words, she 'created the perfect illusion'. She'd done it to him so easily... a couple of kisses and he'd fallen hard; letting himself think it was real. Letting himself pretend that a woman as beautiful and sophisticated as Holly would be interested in him. That was the root of his anger... he was mad at himself for believing she could ever want him.

"Why don't you get the hell out of here?" Jackson had awakened a few minutes earlier and was watching the struggle of emotions play across his son's face.

"What?" Gibbs looks up to see his father watching him with a frown.

"Go... know there's some place you'd rather be right now."

"No... dad, I'm fine... I need to be here." Even to his own ears he didn't sound convincing.

"Son, I've watched you do this your whole life... tried not to interfere..." Gibbs smirks at this comment, "...too much. But I'll be damned if I'll be the excuse you use for letting that woman slip away."

"Dad, please..." Gibbs doesn't need another lecture after he's just sat here for three hours ripping himself apart for the same thing.

"Jethro... I'm only gonna say this once... then I'm gonna get outta' this bed and kick your ass! For once in your life... stop over-thinking this."

They stare at each other for a long moment, until he sees Jackson shove back his blankets and try to sit up. Gibbs hates to concede the point, knowing Jackson will remind him of it for years to come, but this time he was right. He stands up and comes to the bedside, laying his hand on his father's chest to gently push him back down. Then he bends down to place a kiss on his forehead. "Love you, dad... even when you're a pain in the ass."

"Pain in my ass... now get outta' here." He pats his son's arm, fighting to keep the emotion from his voice. This was the most serious conversation they've had since Shannon and Kelly's funeral. Gibbs gives him one last look and smiles as he finally goes to do what should have been done hours ago.

When Gibbs arrives outside Holly's Georgetown condo, he is struck by the elegance of the building, the grounds and the lifestyle that seems to suit her. He can't help but feel out of place here; in a place so different from his humble home on the tree-lined street. He hesitates, standing on the first of four steps that will bring him to her front door. His fist thumping nervously on the stone banister as the debate rages on inside his head. He almost turns to leave, thinking there is no way Holly could ever be happy away from all this when he looks up to see Holly standing in the large bay window.

She is watching him with a curiously amused look on her face as she crooks her finger at him; ending the debate. Gibbs takes the steps up to her door and raises his hand to knock, but the door opens too quickly. Holly is leaning on the heavy mahogany door as Gibbs tries to hide his nervousness.

"'Bout time you showed up."

"Yeah... sitting with my dad..." He studies her face, looking for that temper of hers from earlier. When he doesn't see it, he shrugs and admits, "... until he kicked me out."

They lapse into a tense silence and Holly can see his nervousness, which is totally out of character for her tough federal agent. She drums her nails on her door and teases, "So... you come here for a reason?"

"Maybe..." The hint of a smile edging the corner of her mouth up gives him confidence as he steps closer, resting his hand on the door frame. "You gonna let me in?"

She steps back, holding the door wider as she invites him inside. He steps inside and takes in her more relaxed clothing choice of a simple t-shirt and silky leggings that hug her perfectly. If possible she is even sexier now than earlier in her expensive suit and heels. When she turns to lead him into her home, he grabs her arm and brings her around to face him. Their eyes hold for a long moment as his fingers slowly glide up into her hair to tilt her face up to his.

The breath catches in her throat at the emotion in his eyes and she remains motionless as he leans in to kiss her tenderly. When he draws back, it is only far enough to softly whisper, "I'm sorry, Holly..." His lips graze softly once more. "Didn't mean it."

She looks into his intensely blue eyes, seeing the reason for his tension. She smiles playfully as she taps her finger against his solid chest. "Hey...I thought 'never apologize' was on your list of rules?"

"It is... but so is rule fifty-three... 'sometimes you're wrong'. Then it's okay to apologize."

"And you were wrong?"

He tilts his head to the side and studies her a moment, "Not wrong... just... confused." Gibbs feels the familiar frustration building as he tries to express everything that has gone on in the past week. He sighs and tries again, "I feel like... "

He suddenly releases her, walking into her home in an attempt to put some space between them so he can think clearer. In the car on the way over here, it had all seemed so simple; now he felt like an awkward teen-ager again. She follows him into the room, moving over to her bar to pour him a drink since he appears to need one badly. When she hands him the bourbon he downs half of it before walking over to the fireplace to look at some photos she has framed there. One catches his eye and he picks it up; a young girl sitting on a tractor with a man standing beside her looking proudly into the camera.

"My dad and me. I grew up on a farm... think I told you that once." She keeps her distance, understanding his need for separation at the moment.

He takes another sip of his drink and nods, "Never told me you drove a tractor." He keeps his eyes on the photo, as if not trusting himself to look at her right now.

"Doesn't every kid on a farm? That was Driver's Education." She watches him and sees his flicker of a smile; wondering what was going on in his head. She decides to let him know this frustration wasn't one-sided. "Jethro, this is overdue, but I wanted to apologize too... for what happened on porch... I shouldn't have..."

Gibbs suddenly turns and grabs her arm, bringing them face to face. "Don't... not for that. It was my fault... knew it wasn't real, but I couldn't help myself. You were just doing what I asked... and I ..."

There is a long pause as he tries to find the right words. He is afraid of pushing her away if he doesn't say this right. He remembered how quickly she got angry at the hospital when he mentioned her past. She seems to know what he is trying to say and gently prompts him. "You what?"

"I let myself believe... it was real." His gaze roams over her face, searching for any sign of rejection or anger again. When he sees none he continues, "Wanted it to be real... but..."

Holly understands his dilemma. Gibbs can't trust that what they experienced was real... because of what she used to do. She feels sadness at the old barrier rising up once again to keep her from a normal life of happiness. She doesn't want to lose him and needs make him understand it was real for her. This was the moment of truth if they are ever to get past this.

"...but you think it was all an illusion, right? Because that's what I do?" He hears the tension in her voice and knows she once again believes he is somehow holding her past against her.

Gibbs reaches out to hold her shoulders as he draws her closer. "Don't care what you did... then or now, Holly. I've never treated you like your past mattered to me."

"No, you never have... and you'll never know how much that means to me. But you still have trouble separating the two... trusting that its me." The truth is hard for her and his image blurs before her as tears fill her eyes.

Gibbs can't stand the pain he sees in her and pulls her into his arms, holding her close as he kisses her hair and softly whispers. "Wouldn't be here if I didn't trust you... just need to know... was that as real for you?"

She relaxes in his arms, curving hers around his waist as she gains strength from his words. "Felt pretty damned real to me."

His hand strokes gently on the back of her neck, enjoying the silky texture of her hair slipping between his fingers. "But you said... that's what you do, create the perfect illusion."

"I thought you were upset... with me, for taking it too far." She shrugs and dares to raise her head and look up at him. What she sees fills her with hope as he grins down at her and chuckles.

"Was upset... wanted to take you upstairs so bad. Hardest thing I've ever done was head down to the basement instead."

She smiles with him, feeling more playful now that they seem to be back to being friends. "Seemed in control to me. Kind of dinged my ego a bit, when you found sanding that chair more interesting than me."

He doesn't answer as he suddenly becomes serious. His hand strokes her hair back from her face before he again kisses her brow. "No, but it kept my hands busy... and my mind. Dealing with Hart... I needed to get this case over with so I could concentrate on you."

This time his lips find hers in a kiss, slow and gentle, as if it was their first. They let each kiss blend into the next and it is several minutes before she finally pulls back to softly ask, "And now?"

"Now I want to know what you fantasize about... tell me and I'll create it for you."

She knows he is serious, but keeps things light as she cocks her head to the side as if giving it serious thought. "I do have had this one fantasy... for oh, about the last five years. About this gruff NCIS agent... tough as nails, but sexy as hell, with this hidden soft side."

"Yeah? Wonder who that could be?" He grins when she gently nips his chin and then continues.

"In my fantasy, he takes... me down to his basement and..." She pauses to nibble on his chin, drawing out the anticipation. Hearing his breath catch in his throat, she continues, "... with the patience of a saint..." She watches his eyes darken a bit at the images running through his mind. "... he teaches me how to refinish furniture."

"Ha! That's your fantasy?! Hell, you don't ask for much." He chuckles as she grins up at him, but his laughter dies as her hand curls around his neck, bringing his mouth down to hers. Her kiss is sensuous and teasing as she takes him in a long, deep caress that lets him know this is no joke.

When she finally pulls back they are both breathing heavier as she huskily adds, "That's all I've ever wanted... a normal life... with a normal man." He sees the truth in her eyes, but can't believe she's interested in him.

"Holly, I'm... just a cranky old marine with scars on my hands... and a few other places. You're so far out of my league..." Her lips claim his again, stopping his words.

She continues to nibble on his mouth, placing fluttering kisses in between her words. "I have this thing... for scars... in all the right places."

Gibbs feels the doubt slipping away and his arms tighten around her as he draws her in for a deep, soul-searching kiss. His impatient, demanding kisses are quickly making her forget what still needs to be said, but she pulls back reluctantly, worried that he still has doubts about her past. She steps away from him, needing to make sure this won't be an issue for them if this goes any further.

"I have scars too... and you think I'm still in the business..." She has her back to him and can't see the frown that suddenly creases his brow at her words.

"Holly I don't care." He watches her pacing and sits on the arm of her sofa, wondering what she will say next.

"But I do, Jethro. The phone calls... I've seen the look in your eye when I get one. Part of my plea deal was to do public service projects like those office harassment seminars and counseling women in the business on how to get out. I continued doing it when my probation ended. I have a nonprofit now in the tri-state area... and when I get a call, I help them get away from their abusive pimp or into rehab for the addictions."

She finally stops her rambling explanation and pours them another glass of bourbon. She glances nervously at him as she takes a long calming sip and comes to hand him his glass. His eyes hold hers as he takes the glass and downs its contents. Setting it aside with a sigh, he takes her hand and pulls her in close between his legs.

"There's a few defining moments in every person's life... when you know what you've done wrong, and you know what you've done right. Heard that in a country song once..." He leans in to kiss her once more, needing to feel the softness of her lips once more. "I believe it's true... just don't know what you see in me."

She wraps arms around him, lowering her head to kiss his neck, up to ear and he groans softly. Then she nips his ear and honestly answer, "I see friendship and sarcasm... the intelligence you hide so well... your commitment to the people in your life... and the projects in your basement. I see your intensity, Jethro... and I want that... all of it."

Her sexy words are whispered on a sigh causing shivers to race along his spine as his arms tighten, drawing her hard up against him. Her mouth finds his, demanding he let her in... and with a sigh he lets go of the doubt as his tongue delves deeply in search of her own. His hands slide down, cupping her ass as he presses her hips to his, letting her feel the hard length of his desire as he trails kisses to her ear as he nips her playfully and teases, "Really wanna show you some of that intensity..."

She pulls back to look into his eyes for a long moment and Gibbs waits, wondering if she'll take him upstairs or 'down to the basement', so to speak. The smile that curves her lips gives him his answer as she takes his hand, then steps back to pull him to his feet. She turns to lead him towards the stairs leading up to her bedroom.

She strips off her satin robe and slips into the steamy shower with a sigh, standing there for long minutes just letting the hot jets of water ease her aches. She smiles, recalling exactly what caused these aching muscles... Leroy Jethro Gibbs. She was good at reading men; what they wanted... but Gibbs was different. He was reserved and quiet, confident and cocky even; depending on the situation. She'd been intrigued by his intense blue eyes when they first met and wanted to know what made him tick... what he craved. She had even teased him once... in the interrogation room at NCIS of all places, about his preferences. When she hinted that he liked it rough, his mouth had twitched up in a momentary smirk before it disappeared. Trying to throw him off his interrogation tactics, Holly had then asked him if he was into role playing... this brought on another smirk, followed by a shake of his head and a simple denial. He was not one to put his personal life out there for examination... or be distracted by a pretty face.

After that case had been solved, Holly had worked hard to become friends with this elusive man... fascinated by what was inside that tough exterior. Earning his trust had taken time. Their dinners became routine, a few times a month until he finally began to open up to her and she eventually learned about his previous family, his failed marriages and his reluctance to let anyone back into his life again... except as a friend. His basement, she quickly learned, was so much more than a workshop. It was his therapy room, his time-out room when his temper got the best of him... and his escape when the ghosts of his past came haunting.

He was a complicated man and she still wasn't sure what he would be like in a more intimate situation... until last night. His small smirk that day had been telling... he was intense, demanding and even rough in his passion... but what surprised her was his need to please her... and his considerable skill in doing so. Holding back his own needs and finding true pleasure in exciting her... that was unique. Something Holly hadn't experienced before and if last night was any indication; Gibbs had the stamina to back up his creativity.

Just then the door slides open and the man of her thoughts steps in to join her. She allows him to stand under the spray as he ducks his head and washes away the last of the shaving cream from his face and neck. He has his back to her and doesn't see her eyes hungrily devour his masculine form. Unable to resist, her hands curl around his waist, stepping in close pressing her body against his as she reaches up to add fresh soap to her loofah. He sighs and reaches out to brace himself against the shower wall with outstretched arms; while her hands glide possessively over his body, exploring anew each angle of him as she washes him.

A soft groan escapes him as her talented fingers to glide over his chest and across his flat stomach in a gentle caress. Her hands, mingling with her body pressed against his back cause his shaft responds instantly. He growls deeper as her hands now move lower and she slowly strokes her soapy hands over his manhood until it is hard and throbbing in her hands. He enjoys her caress for several minutes as she gently presses her body to his.

It hasn't been that long since he last felt her talented caress; having made love only an hour earlier in her bed. Their night together had been a fantasy come true for him... having Holly in his arms, so responsive to his every touch. He'd forced himself to slow down, take things slowly, not wanting to rush this first time with her. Holly understood and let him set the pace, while keeping him on edge with her talented mouth and hands all night long.

He feels her hard nipples against his back and aches to examine them closer; turning in her embrace, to come face to face. She moans softly and once again presses her body to his as Gibbs wastes no time in dropping his mouth to hers in a hungry kiss. Her lips part to his and his tongue twines with her own as his fingers find the taut peak of one breast. He gently massages it, rolling her nipple slowly and Holly breaks the kiss on a soft whimper. Gibbs dips his head , replacing his fingers with his lips and she cries out in sweet agony as he gently mauls her breast. Her fingers lace through his hair, holding him to his task as she leans back against the tile wall for support.

"Jethro... mmmnnn... I need you..."

Her husky words are barely audible, but when her leg curls up along his hip, he has no doubt about what she wants. He releases her as he curls his arms around her hips, lifting her up into his arms. Holly's legs automatically curl around his waist as her arms wrap securely around his neck to guide his mouth back to hers. She kisses him with a need she can't control and his hungry response tells her the desire is no less in him. They stand there kissing as Gibbs allows her to rest against the shower wall, held captive between the wall and his body. He slowly rubs his cock over her exposed sex and she moans desperately and arches her hips to his. He finally pulls back, looking into eyes dilated by passion.

"Thought you were too sore to play anymore..."

"Oh shut up..." She grins up at him, knowing she is contradicting her words of just an hour ago. "Just need you… mmnn… easy..."

Gibbs holds her hips, gripping her as he positions her for his entry. Her lips rest against his, motionless in anticipation of this moment. They are breathing shallowly, awaiting the moment of completion as Gibbs slowly slips his big, hard cock into her. Her breath catches in her throat, holding in the whimper of pain, but he sees it in her eyes. He fills her completely, then stops as her eyelids flutter closed, overwhelmed by the sensation. He forces himself to remain still, watching for signs of discomfort. When her eyes open, they meet his and a shudder of pure pleasure rolls through her.

He feels the tremor from deep in her belly, all the way up her spine until finally her lower lip trembles against his and a soft sigh escapes her. He is awed by the emotion he sees glowing in her eyes and holds her gaze as his mouth now closes over hers in a slow, sultry kiss that lingers into the next as he begins to slowly grind his hips against her. She moans in reply as one hand glides down to press gently into the small of his back. He is aware of how tender she is after their active night of loving so he thrusts slow and easy, feeling her tight canal drawing him in further.

She moans into his mouth, desperately seeking the release only he can give her, as the twinges of pain give way to her growing excitement. She finally breaks their kiss as her nails curl into his flesh and she hoarsely pleads, "Aahh… aahh… yes… harder… all the way… ooohhh… yes…"

As her husky words encourage him he begins to thrust hard and fast into her. Holding her captive, crushed between the wall and his hard body as he drives his shaft into her with barely contained force until the tidal wave of pleasure is surging through them both. Their husky voices mingle into one incoherent plea. Her head falls back against the hard wall at her back; his fingers digging into her hips as Gibbs rams his big cock deeply into her small body again and again. A wave of pure ecstasy mingles with the pain and she cries out as he pushes her into the mindless abyss she craves.

He feels her body tremble as it is racked by wave after wave of intense pleasure and he tucks his head into hers as he suddenly slows his frenzied pace. He holds her tightly, grinding his hips into her, feeling her canal clamp down around him as he moves slow and deep; just enough to feel the way she holds his cock deep inside her. Overwhelmed by the intense sensations, a hoarse growl escapes him as his hips suddenly jerk hard and his fluids explode deep inside her. "Oohh… sweet Jesus… aahh… baby…"

He stands there trembling for several seconds before he finally begins to relax and they moan their pleasure together in a soft sigh. Holly feels dizzy from the intense orgasm and can only tilt her head towards his as she places several tender kisses along his neck. It is several minutes before Gibbs regains his sanity enough to raise his head and look into her smoky green eyes with an unspoken question.

"Ooww... but ooohhh so worth it." She smiles happily and strokes back his damp hair, enjoying the lethargy of having been satisfied so completely once again.

As she speaks he rotates his hips gently and she sighs in response, but the slight twinge of pain shows on her face. He reluctantly pulls out of her and eases her back down onto her feet, feeling a mixture of guilt and pride for causing her discomfort. His arms stay around her as he eases them back under the warm spray and tenderly massages her tender flesh.

When she finally gets out to let him finish his shower, she smiles at her reflection in the mirror. The fresh marks on her hips only one more indication of their loving... and Gibbs' brand on her. She is drying her hair when he emerges to grab a towel and quickly dry off before wrapping it around his hips to hide his uncontrollable response at seeing her naked body once more. He could happily make love to her for the rest of the day, but that will have to wait.

Even so, he can't resist having his hands on her body and steps up behind her to gently massage her breast as his fingers roll the dark nipple between them. Their eyes meet in the mirror as she whimpers softly in response. "You really shouldn't do… mmnn… that… unless you intend to…"

"Oh… I intend to... but not now... cause someone needs to learn a little self-control." His mouth lowers to her throat as he speaks; placing tender kisses up its soft length to her ear. She moans softly as his arms wrap around her waist, holding her close.

"I think I'm addicted to you." She smiles into the mirror as she holds his gaze and his answering smirk tells her he understands what they both feel is too soon to admit.