Not much to say except as always, thank you to my wonderful readers!
BW4eva- Yep. It's almost offensive sometimes. :D
PirateGyrl- "She seems in such a deep depression that she doesn't realize she's in." Exactly. You hit the nail on the head with that one. It's hard to write sometimes because unless someone has felt that kind of depression, it's hard to understand. To me, it's the worst kind- when you're upset and just don't know why. And I would agree 100% that it was a bit crazy (understatement) to jump in the car with him. But she's not exactly rational now...so it goes.
MademoiselleGF- Yep. His POV will sort of be in and out in little moments. I doubt I'll have a whole chapter from his perspective. And you're right- this one will definitely be more about Lisa's inner journey. I'll probably limit the use of OCs in this one (although I am super tempted to bring Ben in for at least a cameo appearance lol).
KnoKnayme- And more you are receiving! :D Thanks for the support, sweetie.
Well...this chapter is easily the most explicit I've ever written, so I hope it goes over alright. Enjoy.
Chapter 3: Power Struggle
Lisa bobbed slightly on her toes as the elevator ascended. She didn't look at the man next to her, but she could sense his presence all the same. Neither said a word, and she found that she liked it. No questions, no answers. No meaningless small talk, because neither of them felt like pretending that they particularly cared what the other had been up to.
It was all about the now. How long had it been since she had lived for the present instead of worrying about the future or past?
Lisa felt a jolt of lightning through her body when the back of her hand brushed his. Their first physical contact in two years, and he might as well have shoved her against the elevator wall. Lisa shuddered lightly when Jackson's hand pressed against her lower back as the elevator came to a stop. He escorted her down the hallway, and Lisa's adrenaline pumped harder with each step.
This was insane. No, not just insane. It was downright wrong. She had no illusions about what was about to happen. If she was right, she would be an adulteress after tonight. And he wasn't just any man- he had tried to kill her father, Keefe, Keefe's family, and her- although whether or not he intended to kill her was debatable. She should have cared, but she should have been feeling many things that she just wasn't. She just wanted that thrill, that excitement. She wanted her dreams to be real instead of a pathetic girl touching herself alone in her room. To hell with the consequences.
Somehow, Jackson seemed to know this. Either that, or he didn't really care how she felt. She didn't know which was more likely. It wasn't lost on her that he was being quite reckless as well- was this where he lived? If he had taken her straight from her apartment to his own place...she could destroy him too. The knowledge gave her her own little rush of power. She was on arguably equal ground with Jackson of all people.
Jackson fished through his jeans pocket with his free hand and unlocked the front door to his condo. Lisa allowed herself to be led into the room, shivering slightly when she felt Jackson move his hands to her shoulders and slide off her cardigan, his warm fingers softly grazing her bare skin. He wasn't wasting any time. It was oddly refreshing- no offer of a drink, no tour.
She turned to face him and smiled slightly. She wasn't going to let him have all the fun.
Lisa reached up and gripped Jackson's hair tightly, pulling his head down to press her lips to his. Their mouths collided violently. It was not sensual or beautiful- it was ambrosiac. It was better than any fantasy she could have conjured up. His hands slid from her arms to the V on her silk tank top, and Lisa heard fabric tearing as the delicate garment was ripped open. The fact the shirt had cost over three hundred dollars brought a smile to Lisa's face as she continued kissing Jackson. She revelled in the destruction of the excess.
She sucked his bottom lip, nipping at the soft flesh as her free hand slid down his chest. She quickly unbuttoned the shirt- it was too sexy on him to destroy- but before she could pull it off entirely, Jackson slid his hands under her thighs and swept her off her feet, heading for the bedroom.
Lisa kissed along his jaw as he carried her, intoxicated by the fragrance of his cologne. He wasn't a large guy, but he held her as though she weighed nothing- it was thrilling. He could throw her against the wall at any point, snap her neck...anything he wanted.
She lost her grip on his neck when he threw her on the bed rather ungracefully, pulling off her skirt and tossing it aside. As he held himself over her, putting his weight on his arm near her head, Lisa trailed her fingers down his warm chest, tugging at his belt.
Jackson shook his head, grabbing her hand and pulling it high over her head. He braced himself with his thighs as he grabbed the other hand, pinning both to the mattress by her wrists.
"Patience," he murmured against her neck, his voice as low and smooth as she remembered. In fact, her dreams didn't do it justice. She didn't want to be patient. She wanted him now. All of him, deep inside her.
Lisa pulled against Jackson's grip as he trailed his fingers down her neck, past her collarbone and down to the valley between her breasts. He was hardly doing anything, and it was driving her crazy. She squirmed when she felt his tongue slide down to where his fingers had just been. They were wearing too much clothing for her tastes.
She glanced down, making eye contact with Jackson as he stared up at her. He seemed to read her mind and released her wrists, gripping the lace bra with both hands and tearing it open with a quick snap. Another $220.
Lisa gasped sharply when Jackson began to suck her nipple. He nipped quickly with his teeth, sending a flickering pain into her chest. She tried to bury her fingers in his hair, but he was prepared and caught her wrists again without even looking up. Lisa let out a feral growl- she wanted to touch him.
Jackson glanced up again as he pinned her again, a knowing glint in his eyes. He knew exactly what he was doing to her- that asshole. But she saw the glimmer of darkness in his eyes, and knew that she wasn't the only one rapidly losing their patience.
Normally, she would expect some kind of teasing words, like...she didn't even know what...but somehow, his silence just made it worse. It was as though he was a man on a mission and couldn't even be bothered to distract himself by wasting words, and it was infuriatingly sexy.
Jackson lowered his hand, sliding it tauntingly up her thigh, and Lisa's body jerked involuntarily when he pressed two fingers tightly against her clit. The pressure of his touch mixed with the texture of her lace panties was an unexpectedly tantalizing combination, and Lisa bucked again when he curled his fingers, rocking his knuckles against the sensitive spot.
Lisa bent her knees and parted her thighs, giving him better access. He was moving too slowly. She fought against his grip as Jackson slid one finger under the delicate fabric, massaging her with just the tip. It was agonizing, made obvious by the slick finger that Jackson slid from her clit and to her mouth, slipping it between her lips.
Lisa responded by sucking the finger, finding the taste of herself on his skin strangely delicious. She couldn't hide a wicked grin when she saw that her action had the added benefit of breaking Jackson's confidence. She saw a flash of raw lust in his eyes, and curled her tongue around his finger, licking every drop of the innocently arousing fluid, never breaking eye contact with the assassin.
Jackson groaned softly, leaning forward to intertwine their tongues, his hand cupping her breast. Lisa felt a small burst of pride- she had thrown him off his game, and she knew it. She arched her back, pressing her breasts to his chest, revelling in the sensation of their warm skin kissing together.
He firmly pushed her down to the bed again, releasing her hands as he lowered himself down her body, trailing his lips down to her panties. His teeth grazed her hip before he took the delicate strap in his mouth and tugged sharply, snapping it. Lisa sat up, sliding her hands under his shirt and over his shoulder blades.
Jackson snarled and grabbed her hands yet again, trapping them on either side of her hips. Lisa sank back again as Jackson's head slipped between her thighs. A sharp suck on her clit caused her to buck her hips yet again. She closed her eyes tightly, surrendering to the waves of pleasure his lips and tongue provoked.
Her lips curled into an impish grin as she slid her feet onto Jackson's back, digging her heels into his shoulders. He might not let her touch him, but he had made a stupid mistake...he hadn't given her time to take off her shoes.
Sure enough, Jackson quickly pulled back with a sharp glare, his hands leaving hers to pull off her heels. Lisa seized this opportunity to grab his hair and pull hard, forcing him back up to meet her eyes. She lifted her head, pressing their lips together, snaking her tongue into his mouth with desperation. His teasing was overwhelming- she ached to feel him. She tugged at his belt again as she gripped his hips with her thighs, silently conveying that they were going to play by her rules now.
Jackson pulled away from the kiss, shooting her a devilish grin that suggested that he was impressed before escaping her grasp and getting to his feet. Lisa propped herself on her elbows, watch him walk toward his nightstand and pull out a box of condoms.
"How responsible of you," she remarked in amusement as he pulled out an individual condom and ripped open the wrapper with his teeth before tossing the box back into the drawer. She had been on birth control for years, so she wasn't really that worried, but it was interesting to see that even Jackson's recklessness had its limits.
"I'm a boy scout," he replied dryly. Lisa chuckled and lunged for him, taking the condom from his hand. He looked down at her and nodded before pulling off his shoes, socks, jeans, and briefs. Lisa got to her knees and crept forward, firmly unrolling the condom over his hard-on, her fingers trembling.
Jackson let out another groan as she allowed her fingers to linger, stroking him as she pulled away. He looked so scintillatingly beautiful that Lisa stroked up the base of his cock again, letting the sounds of his moans vibrate in her ears. Listening to the sounds he made was almost as exciting as his hands on her.
She felt an overwhelming urge to rip the condom off of him and take him in her mouth, to really make him squirm. It was empowering, having this killer at her mercy. But it appeared as though Jackson couldn't take torture nearly as well as he could inflict it, and he pulled her away from him, yanking her up the mattress by her wrists.
He climbed over her, dropping down for another burning kiss. Lisa couldn't get enough of his lips on hers. She shifted underneath him, spreading her thighs wide. Without breaking the kiss, Jackson lowered himself and arched into her without hesitation.
Lisa tensed, a sharp scream exiting her lips, muffled by Jackson's mouth. It hurt, but it was an exquisite pain. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling deeper into her. Jackson groaned loudly, biting her collarbone. It would leave a mark, but it was too late to care. She was already flawed.
Jackson's hands gripped her hips tightly, lifting her to give himself a better angle. Lisa tightened her hold on him so he could brace himself on the mattress. As he thrust into her, she arched her back, her eyes squeezing shut. Her voice rang out, unbridled. No one who mattered could hear her. It was just Jackson, and she doubted that he was bothered by such things.
Her waves of uncontrollable, vulgar moans continued as Jackson increased his pace, seemingly spurred on by the obscene sounds coming from her throat. He dropped his weight onto her, burying his face in her neck as he pumped harder, matching her with muffled groans of his own. Lisa dug her fingers into the flexing muscles of his shoulders, tearing at the hot flesh under his shirt. She wanted to leave a mark on him again.
She heard his name escape her lips, and Jackson tensed against her. He hooked his arms under her back and curled his fingers around her shoulders, shoving into her with reckless abandon. He nipped sharply on her earlobe.
"Look at me," she heard him whisper harshly, his voice ragged. Lisa obeyed, opening her eyes to stare into his. They almost glowed under the dim light of the living room and the illumination of city lights pouring in through the window. Calling them beautiful was an insult- it just wasn't good enough.
For a second, Lisa felt different. Just for the briefest of moments, it was more than sex. More than adrenaline, and more than a thrill. She quickly closed her eyes again, turning away from him. She couldn't allow that- she would not become attached to him. Those weren't the terms that they had silently agreed to.
She pressed her cheek to his as shudders spasmed through her body. She was painfully close. Even in the darkness behind her eyelids, she saw stars. She bit down hard on his earlobe. God, she hated him. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so incredible, and of course he was the one who gave her that feeling. It just had to be him, didn't it? She hated herself for allowing herself to even be put in this position and for enjoying it so much. She hated everything, and it felt too fucking good.
She cursed loudly in his ear, words that she would never dare utter in her real life. "Fuck you, Jackson," she snarled angrily. She just wanted someone to hear her. He took it all in without breaking his stride- in fact, he shifted his angle and pounded into her small body with impossible force, and in his actions, she swore that she could hear those same words being spat back at her.
She lost all control of her thoughts- words spun around in no particular order- and her muscles twitched as she was brought to the brink of release. She gripped his hair, tugging hard as final guttural screams racked her body. The intense pleasure threatened to rip her apart- her dreams were pathetic shades compared to this reality. She felt Jackson shudder against her as he came with a desperate groan, biting down on her neck.
The two remained tightly pressed to each other, the only movement coming from Lisa's soft trembles. She breathed heavily, willing her heart to stop pounding in her chest. Despite how loudly her mind screamed at her to walk- run- out, she remained in Jackson's bed, clinging to him as tightly as she held onto her high. She didn't want to crash.
Jackson brought a hand to her thigh and squeezed, prompting her to release him. He quickly got to his feet, and ran a hand through his hair, looking a bit rattled. He tossed his chin toward the ceiling, and Lisa watched as he instantly seemed to regain his composure. He had played the part of the passionate lover and was now shedding his role. He grabbed his discarded clothes from the floor and headed into the bathroom, leaving her alone.
Lisa sat up slowly, feeling suddenly cold without his body against hers. She bit her lip, preemptively forcing away any feelings of confusion or rejection that were likely to creep into her brain. She knew the deal. It was nothing- they were nothing.
She slid on her skirt and looked around the bedroom, observing the sad remnants of her useless clothing with a sudden feeling of embarrassment. What now? She hadn't even thought to bring a coat. Remembering that she at least had an intact cardigan, Lisa headed for the living room. It was thin and relatively useless, but at least she wouldn't be arrested for going out in public.
She turned to face the bedroom when she heard Jackson walking around again. He came over to her, his jeans now on, but his shirt still unbuttoned. The tousled hair and crystalline eyes were the icing on the irritating cake- he looked like some kind of debauched angel. She hated that he could look so...pure while being so cruel.
"I'm not staying here," Lisa snapped. She doubted that he even wanted her to, but she wanted to salvage some of her dignity. She refused to make him think that she was going to get all emotional over someone like him.
"I wasn't planning on asking," he replied flatly, and Lisa clenched her jaw. He always had to come out on top, didn't he? "I'll let Brian know you're on your way down."
Lisa sighed heavily. Of course he wasn't even going to take her home. Of course he had had his driver wait for her downstairs the whole time. She was just a cheap little conquest to him. He had hunted and trapped his prey with ease, and now he couldn't care less. Knowing how easily she had been caught was almost worse than being nothing. Not almost...
Lisa just nodded quickly, refusing to show him how much he had cut her. How had she misread the situation so much? She turned to leave, but was stopped when a hand grabbed her arm, holding her in place. Without a word, Jackson opened his closet and pulled out a black Burberry wool coat, holding it open for her.
She took a hesitant step forward, eyeing him. She didn't think that he could have surprised her more if he had taken a hammer to her head right then. She turned around, slipping her arms into the coat. Jackson tugged the lapel, turning her to face him as he began to fasten the buttons.
Lisa stared at his collarbone, suddenly nervous. She felt like she should say something- thank him, maybe? But for what? The coat? Saving her life?
"About what happened on the balcony," she began, her voice barely above a whisper. It was stupid- she knew that he probably didn't really care about what she had been doing, but she did feel like she owed him something.
Jackson shook his head, continuing to close the coat. He seemed oddly fascinated with the buttons, refusing to look at her. "It's not my business," he told her, pulling the square military collar taut. "But if you ask me, it would be a shame to smear that pretty face all over the pavement."
Lisa nodded, completely at a loss for how to respond. What the hell was going on? He barely looked at her after they finished and had that whole business with the driver going on, but then he had given her his coat like a gentleman and now that strange comment that was somewhat sweet in a Jackson kind of way? All in less than five minutes?
She reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him down for a quick kiss. "Thanks," she said. It felt like enough. Without waiting for a response, Lisa turned and quickly headed for the elevator.
When the elevator doors closed around her, she ran her hands through her hair, tugging gently. She felt an overwhelming mix of emotion, giddiness and hurt being the main two fighting for dominance. That wasn't a surprise, though. What shocked her the most was the one emotion that she didn't feel- regret.
R&R, pretty please. I'm going to start sending out little previews to my readers again starting next chapter.