AN: This is a long chapter because I won't be able to write for a few days. Still no review :( but I will continue writing until I see this thing through. Well, please Review and tell me if I'm doing or not doing a good job.
Sam and Fae open the trunk of the Impala, they both take out a shotgun and loads it with shells of rock salt, then they put the loaded shotguns back in and closes the lid. Fae and him go back into their room. Dean is talking on his cell phone, facing away from the door.
DEAN
Yeah, Abraham Lincoln and James Dean, can you believe that? ...Why so kill-crazy? Ah, maybe the apocalypse has got 'em all hot and bothered. Yeah, well, we all know whose fault that is. ...Well I'm sorry, but it's true.
Sam and Fae frown, then pushes the door shut, causing Dean to spin around.
DEAN
I'll call you later. Bye.
He hangs up and turns to Sam.
"What's going on," Sam asks.
"Did you get the trunk packed up," Dean asks.
"Yeah, trunk's packed," Sam says and then asks,"Who was on the phone?"
"Bobby," Dean says.
"And," Sam ask and Dean shakes his head.
"Nothing," Dean says.
"So we're just gonna pretend I didn't hear what I just heard," Sam asks.
Dean shrugs and says, "Pretend or don't pretend. Whatever floats your boat."
"This was supposed to be a fresh start, Dean," Sam says.
Dean picks up his jacket saying, "Well, this is about as fresh as it gets. Now are we going or not?"Dean walks to the door, opens it, and leaves. Sam and Fae looked at eachother then watches as he goes, they sigh, and follow him.
Sam and Dean walk through the museum, past Gandhi. Dean approaches Lincoln and takes off his hat as Sam fetches a metal trash can. Sam turns around to find Dean wearing Lincoln's hat.
"Check it out," Dean says the he lowers his voice imitating Lincoln, "Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat." Fae giggles shaking her head at him.
"Dean," Sam scolds him then sighs and puts the trash can down, holding his hand out for the hat.
"We can't have any fun with this," Dean asks then takes the hat off and tosses it into the trash can. "Fae found it funny," he says childishly and winks at her making her blush.
"Let's just torch the objects, torch the ghosts, get outta here. Okay?"
"I'll go grab East of Eden's keychain," Dean says.
"Mind if I go with you," Fae asks.
"Nah, come on," Dean says. Dean and Fae walk into the next room. Sam scans the room. He looks at Lincoln, then narrows his eyes and leans in closer. The double doors Dean went through slam shut. Sam spins around.
"Dean? Fae," Sam asks. Sam goes over to the doors, shotgun in hand. "Dean? Fae?" Sam tries the door handles but the doors won't budge. He notices his breath condensing in front of him and spins around, shotgun held at the ready. He looks from Lincoln to Gandhi and back again as he creeps forward slowly. Sam hears a creak to his left and he turns. The shotgun flies out of his hands. Defenseless, Sam stands still for a second and Gandhi leaps onto his back. Gandhi wraps his arms around Sam's neck but Sam slams him into the wall and Gandhi falls off. He gets up and they circle around each other, then Gandhi scrambles under Sam's legs and jumps on his back again. Sam throws himself backwards and crashes through a table, and Gandhi lets go momentarily but jumps on Sam's back a third time and begins to strangle him just as Dean and Fae burst through the double doors. "Dean!"
"Is that Gandhi," Fae asks momentarily startled.
"Yeah," Sam exclaimed trying to get Ghandi of his back. Fae runs over trying to pry Ghandi's fingers from his throat.
"Dude, he's squirrelly," Dean says.
"Get the-" Sam says, but Gandhi elbows Sam in the chest, winding him. SAM indicates Gandhi's wax figure with a shake of his head and Dean runs over to it. "Do it!"
"Get the what," Dean asks.
"Glasses," Sam yells and begins to gasp and choke, running out of oxygen. Dean grabs the glasses off the Gandhi wax figure and runs over to the trash can. He throws them in, squirts lighter fluid on them and finally lights them on fire with a match. Gandhi disappears, and Sam gasps for air.
"You couldn't have been a fan of someone cool," Dean asks looking at Fae and Sam. Sam and Fae stare at him breathing heavily. "Really? Gandhi?"
Dean grabs his shirts out of a drawer and shoves them in his bag.
"Ready to blow this joint," Dean asks. Fae, who was already done with packing, nodded her head sitting on the bed. Sam comes out of the bathroom, zipping up his toiletries bag.
"Dean, didn't it strike you as strange the way Gandhi just...vanished," Sam asks.
"Strange how," Dean asks.
"No screaming, no big flame-out, I mean, that isn't the way ghosts usually go," Sam says.
"Still, I torched, he vanished," Dean says.
"Yeah, but I-" Sam says then sighs. "Also, I feel like he was...trying to take a bite out of me."
"A bite," Dean asks.
"Yeah, like he was hungry. But the thing is, Gandhi—or, the real Gandhi—he was a-" Sam says, but stops.
"A what," Dean ask but Sam hestitates. "Spit it out."
"He was a fruitarian," Sam says. Dean stares at Sam and Fae, then laughs.
"Let me get this straight. Your, uh, ultimate hero was not only a short man in diapers, but he was also a fruitarian," Dean ask.
"That's not the point," Sam says.
"That is good. That is—even for you, that is good," Dean says.
"Look, I'm just saying, I'm not so sure this thing is over," Sam says.
"It was a ghost. It was a weirdly super-charged fruitarian ghost, but it was still a ghost. Now let's go,"Dean says and picks up his bag.
"So first you drag me into town, and now you're dragging me back out," Sam says.
"You ain't steering this boat. Let's go, chop chop," Dean says. Fae started to get uncomfortable so she left. Dean walks towards the door.
"You know, this isn't gonna work," Sam says. Dean stops and turns.
"What isn't," Dean asks.
"Us. You, me, together, I—I thought it could, but it can't," Sam says.
"You're the one that wanted back in, chief."
"And you're the one who called me back in."
"I still think we got some trust building to do."
"How long am I gonna be on double-secret probation?"
Dean shrugs and says, " Till I say so."
"Look. I know what I did. What I've done. And I am trying to climb out of that hole, I am, but you're not making it any easier."
"So what am I supposed to do, just let you off the hook?"
"No. You can think whatever you want. I deserve it, and worse. Hell, you'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself, but the point is, if we're gonna be a team, you and I—it has to be a two-way street."
"So we just go back to the way we were before?"
"No, because we were never that way before. Before didn't work." Dean frowns. "How do you think we got here?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Dean, one of the reasons I went off with Ruby...was to get away from you."
"What?"
"It made me feel strong. Like I wasn't your kid brother."
"Are you saying this is my fault?"
"No, it's my fault. All I'm saying is that, if we're gonna do this, we have to do it different, we can't just fall into the same rut."
Dean shakes his head and asks, "What do you want me to do?"
"You're gonna have to let me grow up, for starters." Dean's cell phone rings. He stares at Sam, then puts his bag down and answers it.
DEAN
Yeah?
He looks to SAM, then away again.
DEAN
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
Dean hangs up.
"I guess you were right about this not being over."
Sam and Dean, back in suits, while Fae had to get back in her pencil skirt and button up skirt walk in and head straight over to Sheriff Carnegie, who is sitting at a desk.
"Sheriff Carnegie," Sam asks.
"Sheriff, what happened," Dean asks.
"I, uh, uh..." the sheriff shrugs and shakes his head. "I don't know!" He indicates the interview room where two young are sitting at the table, crying. Dean, Sam, and Fae walk in.
"Excuse us, girls. Hi, we're with the FBI," Dean says.
"Can you tell us what happened," Fae asks.
"It was horrible," the first girl exclaimed.
"Way horrible," the second girl says.
"What was horrible," Fae asks.
"I thought she'd be nice," the first girl says.
The second girl looks at the first girl and says, " I still can't believe it."
"Believe what," Dean asks.
"She took Danielle,"the second girl says.
"Who," Dean asks. The girls look at each other.
"It's okay, you're safe, just, tell us," Fae says softly,"Who took your friend?"
"It was...Paris Hilton," the second girl says. Dean, Fae, and Sam stare.
"Sorry," Sam asks.
"She looked really good, though," the second girl says.
"Skinny," the first exclaimed.
"Skinny and fast," the second girl explained.
"Mm," the first girl says.
"What—wait—huh," Dean asks confused.
"Uh, um...where did they go," Sam asks.
The first girl shakes her head, "We don't know."
"They just vanished," the second girl says.
"Would you excuse us for just a minute," Dean asks. He nods at Fae to stay put. He and Sam walk back to the doorway and speak just above a whisper.
"Paris Hilton's not dead as far as we know, right," Dean asks.
"Pretty sure, no," Sam says.
"Which means it's not a-" Dean says, but was interuppted by Sam who completed his thought.
"Ghost. No," Sam says.
"So, what? Paris Hilton is a homicidal maniac-" Dean says, but Sam finished his thought again.
"Or we missed something," Sam says.
"What do you wanna do," Dean asks.
Sam, now in blue scrubs, is looking through Cal's file. He reads through the notes and frowns when he finds something. He pulls out Cal's body from the freezer and uses a scalpel to cut open Cal's chest, then pushes his gloved hand inside. There is a squelch and Sam closes his eyes and breathes out.
"That's right," Sam says and frowns and pulls his hand out, fingers covered in blood. He holds up two small round things. "What the hell?"
Sam exits the morgue , back in his suit, comes out of the building to meet up with Dean. Sam shakes his head and sighs.
"I can't believe I missed it," Sam stands up and walks with Sam back to the Impala.
"Missed what," Dean asks.
"Went back over the other two vics. There was blood loss. Major," Sam says.
"Oh, well, being a gory smear will do that to you," Dean says sarcastically.
"No, I—I mean more blood loss than a—a car crash or a head wound should cause, almost like it-," Sam says, but Dean interuppted him this time.
"Something's feeding."
"Yeah."
"Awesome."
"And then-"Sam takes out a plastic bag. "There were these."Dean looks at the bag; it contains the two things Sam found. Dean picks up the corner to inspect them closer.
"What are those, seeds?"
"Yeah. They were in both vics' bellies."Dean takes his hand off the bag quickly.
"I hope you washed your hands."
"They're unlike any seed I've ever seen before, Dean."
"Wow, just when I thought you couldn't get any geekier." Dean pats Sam on the shoulder and gets into the Impala.
Sam with Fae sitting beside him is on his laptop again, the seeds out of their bag and sitting on the table next to him. Dean is sitting on the bed using his laptop. Sam grins.
"Yahtzee," Sam says.
"What,"Dean asks.
"The seeds aren't from around here. In fact, they're not from any tree or plant in the country," Sam says.
"Where are they from," Dean asks.
"Eastern Europe. From a forest in the Balkans, which is not even there anymore. It was chopped down, like, thirty years ago," Sam says.
"So," Dean says.
"Wait, wait. I remember this," Fae says. "So, local legend has it that the forest was guarded by a pagan god whose name was Leshi. Um, a mischievous god, could take on infinite forms-"
"And let me guess. He liked to munch on his fans," Dean says staring at Fae in intrest while Fae smiles.
"Yep. Could be appeased only with the blood from his worshippers. It would drain 'em, then stuff their stomachs with the seeds," Sam says. Dean gets up and comes over to Sam and Fae.
"So how's he doing it? What, he touches James Dean's keychain and then morphs into James Dean," Dean asks.
"Hm. It's as good a guess as any."
"Yeah, well, whatever," Dean says then asks, "How do we kill him?"
"Says here to chop off his head with an iron axe," Sam says.
Dean nods and says, "All right. Let's go gank ourselves a Paris Hilton."
Sam, Fae, and Dean enter the wax museum. Dean is carrying an axe followed by Fae, Sam has a flashlight, and walk past the now hatless Abraham Lincoln wax model. They split up and search separate rooms. Sam comes across a door with signs on it reading "Sorry for the inconvenience, CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS" and "DANGER DO NOT ENTER". He whistles Dean and Fae meet up with him. They break the latch and open the door, pushing through a plastic sheet to find a room decorated like a clearing in the woods, with a path leading up the middle to a white house with a wax figure of a man in a suit standing on the front porch. Sam notices a young woman, who must be Danielle, standing next to a tree and tied by her wrists to it.
"Hey," Sam says running over to Danielle to check her pulse.
"She alive," Dean asks.
"Yeah. Barely," Sam says.
The axe flies out of Dean's hand and embeds itself in a tree on the other side of the path. Dean spins around to find Paris Hilton; this must be the Leshi. She grins and punches Dean multiple times in the face, sending him to the ground. She flips her hair as Sam lunges at her, but she shoves him and sends him flying across the room. He collides with the front wall of the house and falls to the ground, unconscious. Dean shakes his head and looks up to see the Leshi standing over him.
"Awesome," the Leshi says. She raises her stiletto-clad foot and stomps on Dean's face. Fae looked at her mortified, before she took off for the tree trying to get the axe out of the tree. The Leshi came up behind her and snap her neck, not where it would kill her, but would render her unconcious.
The Leshi sits on a tree stump near the house with another tree stump serving as a table next to her. Laid on it are various knives; she picks one up and begins filing her nails, causing small sparks. Dean are tied to two trees side-by-side, in the same fashion as Danielle. They wake up one after the other and struggle for a second before they realize where they are.
"Oh. I'm so glad you're awake for this. This is gonna be huge," the Leshi says. She walks over to Fae. "Poor poor girl. I might I have to eat her last." Sam and Dean look at each other.
"Super. Yeah, I wouldn't wanna miss it," Dean pulls at his ropes discreetly.
"I mean, I've been stuffing myself with fast food lately. So it's nice to do the ritual right. Prepare a nice, slow meal for a change," the Leshi says.
"Just like the good old days, huh," Sam asks.
"You have no idea. People adored me. They used to throw themselves at me, with smiles on their faces," the Leshi spat angrily.
"Yeah, I guess these days nobody gives a flying crap about some backwoods forest god, huh," Dean asks.
The Leshi stops filing her nails with a threatening glare,"No. Not since they cut down my forest and built a Yugo plant."
"March of progress, sister," Dean says. The Leshi files her nails a few more times.
"For years now, I've been wandering. Hungry. Scared. Scrounging for scraps. So not sexy," the Leshi says Dean makes a face this. "But then, the best thing ever happened." She puts the knife down. "Someone tripped the apocalypse. And I thought, what the hell, I'm tired of watching what I eat. I wanna pig out. So I found this little place. It's awesome. Adoring fans stroll right in the door."
"Yeah. But they're not your fans," Sam says.
"So? They worship Lincoln, Gandhi, Hilton...whatever. I'll take what I can get," the Leshi says.
"You know, I gotta tell you, you are not the first god we've met, but you are...the nuttiest," Dean says.
"No, you, you people, you're the crazy ones. You used to worship gods," Leshi says then asks, "But this?" The Leshi indicates her Paris Hilton disguise. "This is what passes for idolatry? Celebrities? What have they got besides small dogs and spray tans?" Sam frowns. Dean raises his eyebrows, nodding. "You people used to have old-time religion. Now you have Us Weekly."
"I don't know, I'm more of a Penthouse Forum man myself," Dean says. He winks and clicks his tongue at the Leshi. She gets up and stalks over to him.
"Maybe, but...there's still a lot of yummy meat on those bones, boy," the Leshi says licking her lips.
"Well I hate to break it to you, sister, but, uh...you can't eat me. See, I'm not a Paris Hilton BFF. I've never even seen House of Wax," Dean says while Sam looks at Dean and frowns.
"No. But I can totally read your mind, Dean. I know who your hero is. Your daddy," the Leshi says then asks, "Am I right?" Dean doesn't reply. She smirks and walks over to the tree with the axe embedded in it. When her back is turned, Dean pulls at his ropes again. "And this belonged to him. Didn't it? Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol. One distant father figure, coming right up," Leshi says mocking him.
She goes to touch the axe when Dean finally pulls his wrist free of the ropes. He sprints across the clearing and tackles the Leshi to the floor. Sam pulls desperately at his ropes as the Leshi manages to kneel on top of Dean and punches him repeatedly in the face. Sam finally pulls free and dashes over the clearing. Dean gets a punch in and throws the Leshi off him as Sam pulls the axe from the tree. Dean rolls out of the way and Sam brings the axe down five times on the Leshi's neck. Her head rolls free of her body and Sam pants in exertion, his face covered in blood. Dean, still on the floor, looks up when Sam turns to him and grins, and Dean holds up a finger.
"Not a word," Dean says.
"Dude. You just got whaled on by Paris Hilton," Sam exclaimed laughing.
"Shut up," Dean says. He lies back and grunts in pain, holding his head.
Dean and Sam, carrying their bags, are walking to the Impala. Sam helped Fae put her stuff in the car while Dean is talking on his cell phone.
DEAN
Uh-huh. All right. Thank you.
Dean hangs up.
"Sheriff Carnegie. Danielle's gonna be all right. She's sworn off The Simple Life, but other than that-"
"Glad she's okay," Sam says.
"It gets better. Sheriff's putting out an APB on Paris Hilton." Dean chuckles. "That oughta be good." Dean takes out his keys and opens the trunk of the Impala. They put their bags inside. "Hey, listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday. About me keeping too tight of a leash on you." Sam looks at him. "Hell, maybe you're right. I mean, look, I'm not exactly Mister Innocent in this whole mess either, you know. I did break the first seal."
"You didn't know," Sam says.
"Yeah, well, neither did you," Dean says and Sam looks down.
"I'm not saying demon blood was a great way to go, but, you did kill Lilith," Dean says.
"And start the apocalypse," Sam says.
"Which neither of us saw coming, I mean, who'd have thought killing Lilith would've been a bad thing," Dean ask then pauses. "Point is, I was so worried about watching your every move that I didn't see what it was actually doing to you." Dean pauses again. "So, for that I'm sorry."
"Thanks," Sam says. Dean closes the trunk and takes the keys.
"So where do we go from here," Dean asks.
"They way I see it, we got one shot at surviving this," Sam says.
"What's that," Dean asks.
"Maybe I am on deck for the devil, maybe same with you and Michael, maybe there's no changing that," Sam says.
"Well that's encouraging," Dean says.
"But, we can stop wringing our hands over it. We gotta just grab onto whatever's in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting," Sam says. Dean considers this, then nods.
"I can get on board with that," Dean says and Sam nods.
"Okay. But we're gonna have to do it on the same level," Sam says. Dean grins slightly.
"You got it," Dean says. Sam nods again.
"I say we get the hell outta here," Dean says.
"Hell yeah," Sam says and Fae nodded stiffly. They turn to go to their respective sides of the car, but Dean stops and looks down at the keys.
"Hey," Dean says. Sam turns around, then Dean, and Dean holds out the keys. "You wanna drive," Dean asks. Sam looks down at the keys.
"You sure," Sam asks.
"Yeah, I could, uh...I could use a nap," Dean says.
Sam smiles a little and Dean hands him the keys. Jeff Beck's "Superstition" begins to play. They get into the car and drive away.
MUSIC
Very superstitious