A/N: My apologies this took me a while. I don't want to just force myself to write and then have it come out poorly. Thank you to the amazing Court81981 for being an amazing beta and source of support & encouragement. And thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! It really motivates me to know you guys are enjoying this story. Find me on tumblr ~ thegirlonpeetamellark :)
He's lying in bed, willing his headache away, when he hears a noise downstairs.
His eyes widen in alarm as he hears the sound of footsteps barreling up the stairs.
He looks up just as the bedroom door flies open.
"Peeta!" Katniss whimpers, rushing over to the bed and throwing her arms around him. She starts rambling about being in the woods and visiting the bakery and Thom telling her about an accident.
He just holds her and rubs her back soothingly as he lets her get it all out. He curses himself for scaring her like this and tries to clear his head so he can focus.
"What happened?" she asks when they pull away. She pushes some hair away from his face and he lifts his hand to cover her own, holding it against his skin.
"It was my fault," he begins, "I should have been wearing a hard hat. They were working on the bakery, carrying boards in from outside and one of the guys accidentally hit me on the head. It was pretty hard I guess, but I thought I was fine other than a nasty bump." He trails off and takes a deep breath before continuing. "But then I...I had two flashbacks within an hour..."
He hears her sharp intake of breath and his stomach twists painfully. He hates this. He hates having a brain that's broken, one that will never fully be healed. He hates having to tell her this and scare her.
"Were you...ok? Did you..." She can't finish the thought.
"No, I...I dug my nails into my hand," he says, opening his palms to reveal the cuts. "And then I bit down on my tongue so hard it started bleeding," he admits, shame pouring over him in waves. He hangs his head and suddenly finds it hard to even look at her.
"Peeta..." she whispers, putting her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder. "I was so worried...I thought..."
He pulls back with a start when he realizes her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. "Hey, I'm okay, I promise," he tries to assure her, suddenly caring more about her well being than his own.
"Dr. Aurelius said that as long as you're still able to remember who you are during flashbacks it's a good sign. It means you're more in control than not." She wipes her eyes hastily and grabs onto his hands before pulling them into her lap.
He nods his head and thinks that she has a point. The one bright side of the incident today was that he was still able to fight off the shiny memories, even though they came back to back. "I still have a bit of a headache, but it's been a couple hours and I haven't had another one so I think I'm going to be fine."
Katniss nods her head and takes a shaky breath.
"You have to be fine." Her voice cracks a little, and he puts an arm around her and pulls her against him. Her body starts to shake with tears until she is sobbing in his arms.
"If something had happened to you...I wouldn't...I was so scared," she admits, her voice bordering on hysterical now. "I can't do this without you, Peeta. Now that we...that I...I love you. You can't leave me, okay? You can't."
She is a broken mess, wetting his shirt with her tears and struggling to catch her breath.
"Hey, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," he assures her, kissing the top of her head and rubbing her back soothingly. "I promise."
She lifts her head up to kiss him, but when their lips join it's soft and gentle and nothing like the passion-filled ones they've been sharing as of late.
"Come on, you need to lie down," she tells him when they break away. She tries to get him to lie back in bed like he had been doing, but he hesitates. "What's wrong?"
"I just..." he isn't quite sure how to express what he's feeling, the fear and anxiety that swirl and mix in his gut. "Are you sure you want to stay here with me?" He finally forces it out. "I mean...if it happens again..."
He hates himself even more when he sees the look of hurt on her face. But that look of hurt quickly morphs into something stubborn and defiant, something he is so used to seeing from her.
"It's not like this is the first flashback you've had since you've gotten back," she reasons. "I've been around you before when they've happened and it's been fine. I'm not leaving your side."
He realizes there's no use in fighting her and part of him is glad that she's not going anywhere. The selfish part of him wants her to curl up against him and be here if another one hits, wants her to hold him so he can get through it.
When they finally settle into bed, he feels the tension leave his body. His muscles start to relax and his headache even slowly starts to fade away. His breathing evens out and he has just enough wherewithal left before he falls asleep to whisper two things to the girl at his side.
"Thank you. I love you."
Sometimes they'll turn on the TV just for background noise when they work on the book.
It's nice to not see propaganda messages from the Capitol or re-runs of old Games on the screen anymore. And while Katniss will never admit it, Peeta thinks she secretly enjoys Plutarch's singing competition show—despite the fact she told the camera crew that showed up a few months ago to get her to participate to 'go to hell'.
It's a nice night—a little chilly, but they have a fire going in the living room fireplace. They're working in peaceful quiet, side by side like always. He's drawing the morphling that died protecting him in the Quell when a familiar voice gets his attention.
When he glances up at the screen his whole body tenses up, his stomach clenches, and his mouth drops open. He hasn't seen him in several months and yet he looks remarkably unchanged. The only difference is the official uniform he wears now. Peeta slowly realizes that Beetee is standing beside him, that he's talking about plans to find hidden land mines around the country that the Capitol put in place during the war.
Gale Hawthorne looks perfectly fine.
He isn't sure what he was expecting; some haunted, hollow version of the boy who used to hunt with Katniss maybe. But his appearance gives very little away. There is nothing but a calm and confident expression on his face and a determined look in his eyes. He doesn't look any worse for the wear and for a second, Peeta isn't sure whether he is happy or glad about that.
He immediately chastises himself though because of course he should be happy for Gale, that he has this new job and that he has moved on with his life. Still, a small part of him wonders if Gale ever suffered the way he and Katniss did, if he ever felt the agony of trying to live a normal life again after the war.
Finally, he looks over at Katniss who has noticed her old friend's appearance on the TV. She doesn't look particularly upset or happy. In fact, her face is a mask, hiding whatever emotion is currently growing inside her. He wishes he could reach inside her mind and hear what she is thinking, find out what kind of emotions seeing Gale brings out in her.
She looks over at Peeta and gives him a sad smile, almost as if she knows exactly what he was just thinking.
He clears his throat. "Do you ever think about—?"
"No," she answers before he can even finish, which is a good thing since he isn't quite sure what he was going to say. "That part of my life is over now."
He doesn't want to say the next words, but they slip from his mouth before he can stop them. "But if he had come back...if he does come back..."
"I'm not with you because he's not here," she says firmly, reaching out to grab his hand. It's amazing how she can read him like a book, how she seems to know him so well now. "I'm with you because I love you, because I chose you."
He offers her a sheepish smile and presses a kiss to the back of her hand.
"The more I think about it to be honest, the more I realize that Gale never really loved me like that. He cared about me, but he was just possessive mostly and easily jealous," she admits. His ears perk up as she starts to tell him more about her former friend than she has ever shared before.
"He told me the first time he even looked at me that way was when Darius teased me about trading with me for kisses. And then after the Victory Tour, when I wanted to run away, he was so mad that I wanted to bring you too." She shrugs and plays with the pen she had been writing with, her eyes straying back to the TV, watching the person she grew up with that has now become a total stranger. "He even admitted the main reason he went on the mission to rescue you was so I wouldn't end up just choosing him by default."
He is at once both amazed and saddened at her revelations. He's in awe that she seems to have matured so much and is able to reflect back on the past with an open mind and be honest to herself. And at the same time the idea that ultimately, Gale never truly cared for her in the way that she deserves, that he was only interested in some sort of pissing contest for her affections angers him.
She gets up and turns off the TV and then comes back to sit closer to him. She takes his hand and holds it in her lap. "Honestly, by the end, I remember the couple of kisses he and I did share were tainted. I was either feeling guilty about how much I was focused on you or had resigned myself to the fact that you were hijacked and would hate me forever." She rubs the pad of her thumb across the back of his hand soothingly. "I guess I wasn't that great of a friend to him either."
He kisses the top of her head and whispers in her ear, "You had enough things to worry about."
"And I know I'll never be able to separate...that moment...from him." She takes a deep shuddering breath and he is proud of how far she has come, how the mere mention of Prim doesn't automatically set her off anymore. "I...I don't blame him, but...it could never be the same between us again. I see the world he lives in now and I just...don't ever want to be a part of it."
He truly does feel for her that she has lost someone from her old life, someone that used to be so important to her. At the same time, though, he admires her maturity and her ability to let go and move on.
He reaches out and tips her chin up so he can connect their lips in a kiss. He means for it to be gentle and comforting, but her tongue traces his bottom lip and pushes into his mouth. He makes a low moan in the back of his throat and before he can consider it, she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down with her as they fall to the floor.
They lose themselves in their kisses and he can feel that familiar burning desire start to build, the sudden urgency to be inside her. He breaks away from their embrace and pushes her shirt up, revealing she's not wearing anything underneath. When his lips close around her nipple, she makes a keening noise of satisfaction and urges her hips up towards him.
"Peeta..." she moans breathlessly, rocking her hips in a circular motion, searching for his touch.
He gives it to her. He dips his hand down between her legs and rubs her over her pants. The little mewl of delight she makes resonates in his groin. He sits back on his knees and helps her pull off her top before they work together to rid her of her pants.
When she's completely naked, lying out on the floor in front of the fireplace in the home they share together, he takes a moment to drink in the sight of her. He realizes she's pulling his shirt off, but before she can move to his pants, he grabs her hands to stop her.
"What's wrong?" she asks, eyebrows pinching together in confusion.
"Nothing's wrong," he assures her with a chuckle. "I just...I want to...try something." She eyes him warily. "Just lay back...please?"
She obliges, falling back against the rug, looking up at him with wide eyes.
His eyes roam her body: her small, pert breasts, with nipples puckered and hard; her flat stomach and patchwork of scars; and the dark curls between her legs. He feels his dick twitch when he watches her bend her knees and then spread her legs for him.
He leans down to kiss her and then trails his lips down the hollow of her throat, pausing to lick and suck at the sensitive skin there. She responds by running her hands through his hair and tugging at the ends.
"You taste good..." he whispers against her skin as his lips continue their descent down her body.
She whines a little as he teases her, kissing and licking around her nipple, making her wait for it. He thinks he hears her moan 'please' and if he wasn't hard before he is throbbing with need now. He sucks on her nipple finally, tugging at it gently with his teeth.
"Yesss..." she whimpers and he feels her thrusting her hips up towards him in response.
He pulls away and gives her other breast the same treatment. When he has her writhing with need, he moves his lips down her stomach, continuing his downward path until his head is in between her legs.
She sits up quickly on her elbows, looking at him in alarm. "What are you doing?"
"Trust me?" he asks hopefully and though she looks at him warily, she lays back down, keeping her eyes on him.
He parts her legs again carefully, pressing soft kisses to her inner thighs. "Just relax. I want to try this. You'll like it...I promise."
He whispers these words against her skin and he can feel her resistance and discomfort with his head being so close to her most private area slowly start to fade away. Finally, before she can stop him with her doubts or shyness, he wraps one arm around her leg and use his other to hold her hips down.
He licks the length of her folds, tasting how wet she is for him, using the pad of his tongue to run across the hood of her clit teasingly.
She cries out, her hands immediately going to his hair to pull him closer, and he smiles in triumph. She whimpers his name and tosses her head side to side as he continues, dipping his tongue inside her, tasting every part of her, letting her feel him.
For one brief moment his eyes flicker to the TV that had been on just moments earlier and part of him wishes that it still was on. The possessive, bitter part of him wishes he could look up at Gale Hawthorne while he has his mouth on Katniss' pussy, making her scream his name. He almost wishes Gale could know just how close they've become since the war, how they've grown together and healed and fallen in love and become intimate.
But as quickly as that thought comes it's gone. He's not Gale. He's not with Katniss just to feel like he beat someone. He's with her because he loves her.
"Oooh...oh!" His heart starts to beat wildly at her enthusiastic response. She has never been quite this vocal before with her pleasure. The thought thrills him and spurs him on.
"Peeta...I can't!" She starts to whine even as her hips begin to thrust against his face in response to his mouth. He licks at her clit, using his tongue to flick and massage the little bundle of nerves. Her moans are becoming increasingly louder and more out of control.
"Don't stop..." she begs through the haze of pleasure.
He closes his mouth around her clit, sucking it into his mouth, punishing it with his tongue. It's then that he feels her fall apart, her entire body going rigid and then spasming uncontrollably.
She's still trembling with pleasure when he moves up to lie beside her and pull her into his arms. He kisses her forehead softly and holds her as she slowly comes back down to earth.
"Peeta...that was..." she whispers, unable to finish the thought.
"Told you that you would like it," he mumbles and she blushes and tries to hide her grin.
"Looks like you liked it too," she finally answers, her hand traveling down to the very obvious bulge in his pants. She rubs him over the fabric of his pants and a tortured groan escapes his lips.
He sits up and leans against the bottom of the couch as they work together to tug his pants off. When he's finally naked he expects her to climb on his lap and sink down on top of him, but instead she leans forward to kiss him and then sits back on her heels next to him.
"I kinda want to return the favor..." she says with a bashful smile, biting down on her bottom lip and tucking her hair behind her ear.
He can only mumble incoherently as his mouth drops open in shock and she turns her attention to his hard and aching cock.
"Do I just...?" She trails off as she looks up at him, but she must see that she's not going to get anything remotely helpful from him in the moment and she returns her attention to the task at hand. Finally she leans down and takes him in her hand before licking his tip with her tongue.
"Oh...fuck!" He exhales, reaching up to rest his hand on her head.
Encouraged, she leans down and takes him further in her mouth, wrapping her lips around him completely. He grunts and takes deep breaths and tries not to thrust himself down her throat. He feels his balls tighten when he looks down and watches as she bobs her head up and down the length of his dick. A thousand wet dreams he had growing up about this exact moment flicker in the back of his mind and he feels almost delirious with pleasure.
She's sucking what she can fit in her mouth and using her hand on the base of his cock. He's about to say something about covering her teeth when she starts using her tongue enthusiastically and the words die in his throat.
"Ka...Katniss..." he whimpers, pushing her hair away from her face.
She releases him from her mouth and starts to lick him with long, generous strokes of her tongue. When she reaches down to cup his balls and takes him in her mouth again, he knows he can't stand much more.
He waits until the last second and then grabs her shoulder to tug her away. Before she can even question him, he grips himself tightly in his hand and comes in long spurts on his stomach.
She curls into his side as he rides out the pleasure, pushing his sweat-dampened hair off his forehead. "I would have..." she starts to say.
"It's okay," he assures her, "that was...amazing."
She leans forward to kiss him and their lips push and melt against each other, tasting one another gently after the rush of euphoria they both just experienced.
When she pulls away she's grinning but trying to hide it. "Just thinking about what you did makes me blush, but I...I really, really liked it."
He laughs and tightens his hold on her. "Well good. I enjoyed doing it. And uh...you weren't too bad at that yourself."
She giggles and buries her head in his shoulder. "You're bringing out this wanton side in me, Mellark."
He laughs but doesn't say anything. The truth is he feels like something has been changing inside him too ever since they started making love. It's hard to explain it, but he feels a confidence in what they have growing and a desire to do and try everything he possibly can with her. He's just glad she seems to be willing to go along.
"I love you," he finally whispers after a while, as their breathing has started to slow down. They're both just about to drift off, naked, wrapped in each other's arms and in the afterglow of the pleasure they just shared. "And I love making love to you."
Picking strawberries by a stream out in the woods, a memory of the last time he and Katniss had been doing this exact same thing resurfaces. He thinks back to that day during their first games when he stupidly picked the nightlock while she hunted. He remembers how confused he was by her anger when she found him.
It wasn't until much later when he really started to know and understand Katniss that he could explain her reaction. He remembers realizing with a jolt that that was one part of the games where Katniss wasn't faking anything. He realized that Katniss is stubborn and fiercely protective of the people she loves and maybe she didn't know it herself at the time, but by that point in their first games she was already starting to care about him.
Now their circumstances couldn't be more different from that day so long ago.
He took off early from the bakery and decided to join Katniss in the woods.
They hiked for a few hours and then stopped to have lunch. Katniss decided she wanted to try and teach him how to shoot a bow and arrow. He thought she was kidding at first until she moved to stand behind him to show him how to hold it properly.
To his surprise, he wasn't horrible, although it was a bit of a challenge to try and focus on the weapon in his hands when Katniss was pressed so tightly against his back, wrapping her arms around his to show him how to shoot.
He certainly doesn't see himself hunting anytime in the near future, but by the end of their lesson he can hit his mark on a tree from 15 yards away more often than not.
"Alright, I'm going to go hunt," she had told him afterwards, kissing him softly. "Pick some strawberries and stay out of trouble," she added, nodding her head at the bushes by the stream.
He feels himself smiling when he remembers the sight of her walking away, those tight hunting pants she always wears showing off her perfectly shaped behind. And like so often as of late he feels the blood rushing to his groin at just the thought of her, just the image of her perfect body and what he can do to it—what he has done to it.
He shakes his head to clear it and brings his handful of strawberries back over towards the collection he has already started.
From a distance he hears rustling in the woods and his heart clenches in fear when he realizes it's not Katniss. It can't be Katniss because she doesn't make a sound when she moves; she has a hunter's grace and more often than not she sneaks up on him.
He looks around and spots it. A wolf...or maybe it's a wild dog. Whatever it is, it is baring its teeth and snarling at him from about 20 yards away. He glances around, trying to figure out his best option. He can't climb a tree with his bad leg and he sure as hell can't outrun it. It's also about half his size and he isn't feeling too confident in his ability to fend it off based on the rabid look in its eyes.
He tries to stay as still as possible, not make any sudden moves to upset it. It's pointless though because the dog just starts growling louder, digging its paws in the dirt, preparing to charge.
When the dog attacks, he makes a feeble attempt to get away, but he isn't more than a few feet away when he can feel it closing in on him. He turns around at the last second, deciding he'd rather take it on face to face than get dragged down from behind.
Just as it decides to pounce, when it is in mid-air and ready to sink its teeth into him, it makes a yelp of pain and falls to the ground, an arrow pierced right through its neck as it goes completely still.
He looks around, his heart beating furiously as he realizes he just came within an inch of getting mauled to death, and he sees Katniss holding her bow, looking stricken. She runs towards him and throws her arms around him.
"Are you okay?" she asks, pulling back to cup his face in her hands.
"Yeah I...I'm fine," he replies a little shakily, still trying to calm himself down.
"Oh god, I was so scared," she starts to ramble, "my hands were shaking and I was so scared I was going to miss and you would have gotten hurt and..."
She takes a deep breath to steady herself and throws her arms around him again, burying her head in the crook of his neck.
"Hey, I'm alright," he assures her, rubbing her back up and down soothingly as he feels her trembling, still quite upset. "You saved me."
She smiles against his skin. "You've saved me plenty of times," she whispers softly.
They decide to call it a day after that. They start the hike back home and Peeta can't help noticing that Katniss is being way more affectionate than usual. She holds his hand the whole way back, leaning into him and pulling him into a long hug when they finally get home.
Together they start preparing dinner as usual, but he senses that something is still a little off. She is constantly touching him as they move around the small space of the kitchen together and when he catches her staring at him as he cuts up the bread for dinner, she doesn't blush and look away like she's been caught, she just gives him a small, sad smile.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks closing the space between them.
His arms wrap around her waist and her hands come up tangle in his blond curls. They share a sweet, soft kiss before she finally shrugs and responds, "I don't know, today just really scared me. I keep thinking about what if something had happened to you, what if you had gotten really hurt."
He feels his heart respond with a pang at her open admission of fear and vulnerability and love. He isn't sure if he'll ever get used to this side of Katniss that doesn't try and hide from her feelings, this side that is so sure and confident about how she feels about him.
"But I'm okay," he reminds her gently, pressing her body even tighter against his own, "because you were there to protect me."
"That's what you and I do," she tells him, her grey eyes locked on his blue ones, "protect each other."
The words send him back to another place and time. He remembers when she first spoke them to him, how it had reached deep into something inside him and pulled on the part of him that he thought had been lost forever at the hands of the Capitol, the part that wasn't hijacked, the part that still loved her.
Their lips crash together moments later and their kisses evolve into something hot and needy. Their hands start to roam each other's bodies and she pulls him towards the living room.
She pushes him down on the couch and straddles him, the soft cotton dress she changed into when they got home riding up her tan legs. She starts rocking her hips against him and he can feel his cock respond to her eager movements.
His hands drift down to cup her behind as he guides her gyrations, pushing into the warmth between her legs. He can already feel that the thin material of her underwear is soaked from her arousal.
Together they clumsily manage to undo the button and zipper of his pants and free his aching hard on. He sucks greedily at the exposed skin of her chest and neck, loving the way she tastes, the way she moans in pleasure and pants into his ear and gets dripping wet—all for him.
"Peeta.." she whines, hands digging into his shoulders, ready for him.
"Come here," he grunts, reaching down to grip himself, waiting to feel her walls all around him.
Her eyes go to his cock in his hand and widen just a bit before she gets up on her knees and moves to hover over him. He feels his dick twitch as he watches her reach under her dress and pull her panties to the side, not bothering to take them off. Then she sinks down on him and they both groan at the ecstasy of being joined like this.
"Oh god..." she purrs, burying her head against his shoulder and tangling her hands in his hair. She moves her hips in circular motions and he groans at the feel of her velvety walls surrounding him.
"Fuck you're so tight," he says through gritted teeth, hands on her hips guiding her movements.
His head drops back in ecstasy as she starts moving up and down on his cock, riding him harder as they work together to find their release. He loves watching her like this, her breathing heavy and her eyes closed in pleasure, using his body to find her bliss.
He feels his balls tightening as she starts moving faster, slamming down on him with furious movements of her hips. He reaches between her legs and uses his thumb to rub her clit, pressing down harder and making tight circles as she shouts her approval.
She cries his name and clenches around him, her orgasm hitting her just as he explodes inside her. They ride out the pleasure together, clinging to each other breathless and satisfied. She presses kisses along the line of his jaw before joining their lips together.
"I love you," she whispers and he closes his eyes. He will never not feel that thrill in his chest at hearing those words coming from her. He will never not feel that tugging on his heart that reminds him he has loved Katniss Everdeen for as long as he can remember and he will only ever love her.
"Love you too," he tells her and she smiles and moves off his lap, fixing her dress.
Peeta has just tucked himself back into his boxers when the front door swings open and Haymitch strolls in. He freezes at the sight of them on the couch, their flushed faces and messy hair and clothes askew and untucked.
He clears his throat loudly and looks away uncomfortably. "I uh...guess that's my fault. If you two are going to be like bunnies I'll make sure to knock from now on," he grumbles.
Peeta feels himself blush and discreetly tries to zip up his pants.
Katniss, however, simply smoothes the skirt of her dress down and gets up and heads into the kitchen. "We don't know what you're talking about, Haymitch, but yes, we would appreciate it if you would knock from now on."
Haymitch guffaws as she walks away into the kitchen. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."
Then he turns his attention to Peeta, who stands up from the couch and tries not to look guilty. "I would tell you to keep it in your pants, but I guess this is your house now and you can do whatever the hell you please," Haymitch says dryly.
"Just knock from now on, please," Peeta admonishes him.
They sit down for dinner like normal and Peeta is impressed by Katniss' ability to pretend like nothing ever happened. He thought she would be horrified at the idea of Haymitch walking in on them and knowing what they were doing. He thought it would take her a while not to feel shy or embarrassed about what they do when they're alone. If anything though, she has become comfortable with it all rather quickly and he's glad; he loves how openly she's embraced their love making, how passionate she is about giving and getting pleasure.
She and Haymitch carry on a normal conversation throughout dinner and he likes just listening to them talk. He watches them contently, feeling relaxed to have the two people he cares most about in this world around him over a meal.
With a sudden tightening in his chest he realizes that they really are the only people he has left. Katniss especially is all the family he has now, and while the memories of his father and his brothers and sometimes even his mother hurt to think about, he's forever grateful she is by his side.
He reaches out to grab her hand on the table, joining their hands together. She stops mid-sentence and looks over at him with a surprised smile.
And he doesn't care about the teasing he knows he'll get from Haymitch when he lifts her hand to his mouth and kisses the back of her palm.
It's worth it when he sees the look in her eyes.
He closes the bakery early.
He loves days like these—days where she foregoes her trip to the woods and helps him run things here instead. He loves being around her, the quiet comfortableness with which they work together, the beauty and ease of the routine they have fallen into.
He catches her eating a cheese bun, thinking she's been sneaky about it.
He laughs at the surprised expression on her face when he comes to stand beside her, her mouth full.
She follows him as he takes her hand and leads her to the back room. He closes the door behind them and locks it. She swallows her mouthful of cheese bun and raises her eyebrows at him playfully.
He doesn't say anything.
He just walks over to her and kisses her. He tastes the garlic and butter and cheese on her lips. He cups her face with one hand and uses his other arm to pull her closer.
She moans against his mouth and he can feel the familiar tightening in his groin.
Their kisses increase in intensity and he pushes his hips against her, making sure she knows how much he wants her, how hard he's getting for her.
"Here?" she asks breathlessly when they break away for a moment.
"Why not?" he challenges her with a playful smirk.
He sees the hesitation in her eyes, the uncertainty about doing something so private and special in a place that is not their home. But he also sees her excitement, the desire to make love to him.
"Come here," he tells her, pulling her by the hand over to his desk. He lifts her up by her hips so she's sitting on the edge of his desk and starts to kiss her again. He lets his hand drift down between her legs where he starts to stroke her over the fabric of her pants.
She mewls her appreciation and starts rocking her hips in response.
With fumbling hands they manage to get both of their pants down to their ankles. But that's as far as they get because they're too impatient to wait any longer.
He pushes inside her and she falls back against the surface of his desk. Her legs wrap around his waist as he starts a steady and firm rhythm. He watches in fascination as her face scrunches up with pleasure, her mouth hanging open in ecstasy.
She chants his name and it does something to him. The feel of her hot, wet tightness around him makes him feel almost delirious. He can't tear his eyes away from the vision of her sprawled out before him, all his.
"Fuck, Katniss," he grunts, gripping onto her hips a little harder.
He starts pounding her with rough, deliberate strokes. He pulls back almost all the way before thrusting into her to the hilt, jolting her whole body forward.
She cries out in response and her reaction only spurs him on.
He feels something suddenly that he can't control, something that is vaguely familiar and unexpected and a little scary. He feels the urge to go harder and faster and get rougher with her. He wants to pull her hair and go hard enough that she has a hard time walking tomorrow.
It feels almost like the sudden urges of anger he used to get when his episodes were at their very worst.
Except with this, he is still fully aware of who he is and is in total control of his actions.
He feels her tightening around him as he keeps up his furious assault. He can't stop now if he tried; he sees that she's on the brink of exploding and he wants to push her over the edge.
With a few more quick, frantic movements of his hips she comes, crying out louder than he's ever heard before. He follows her soon after, rocking his hips with his spurts as he fills her up.
He's lost to the pure bliss for a while as they come down from their high together.
But the first words out of her mouth instantly make him feel guilty and ashamed. "I think I'm going to have bruises tomorrow," she laughs lightly.
He pulls out of her and looks away in shame. "I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He takes a deep shuddering breath and then continues, "I don't know what came over me."
She grabs him by the arm, forcing him to look at her. "Peeta..." she says, her voice forceful. "I wasn't complaining," she explains earnestly.
They share a silent look and without saying anything they quietly pull their clothes back together and then move to sit beside each other on the couch across the room. Peeta puts an arm around her shoulders as she sits beside him and runs a hand across his face.
"It's just...the idea of hurting you..." he trails off, letting that statement hang heavily in the air. They both know why him hurting her in any way, shape, or form, is a sensitive topic and a hard subject for him to even bring up.
"You didn't though," she assures him, cupping his strong jaw in his hand and turning his head so he's forced to look at her. She runs her thumb over his stubble and his eyes flutter close, relishing her touch.
"I just..." he swallows and starts again, struggling to get the next words out, "for a second there it almost felt like a flashback, but not really. I mean, I still knew who I was and I didn't have any shiny memories or anything. But I had the same spike of intense aggression I've gotten in the past and I...I wanted to...be rough with you."
"Well," she says at length, "I kinda you know, um, liked that."
His eyes go wide and he turns his head quickly to stare at her. Her cheeks flush and she stares down at her lap. He feels himself getting hard again at just the idea that Katniss would not only be okay with what they just did—because holy hell was it amazing—but that she would actually welcome it.
"I mean I..." she struggles to get the next words out and his heart swells as he realizes she's trying to push herself out of her comfort zone by talking about this, that she's doing this for him. "I liked it because I know how much you love me and that you would never hurt me. I have faith that your flashbacks won't ever be so bad again that you'll actually hurt anyone, much less me. So when you were being rough, it just felt...good. I mean it always feels amazing when we make love, but I don't know. I just wanted you to keep doing it. You made me come really hard."
The words leave her all in one rush and his mouth is hanging open slightly by the time she finishes. His cock is throbbing painfully in his pants now and when he doesn't respond for a minute, she slaps him playfully on the arm and blushes. "Well, say something!" She laughs.
"I can't form words right now," Peeta says dumbly, still in a state of glee that she just expressed all that to him. He grins, a wide, dopey smile that threatens to break his face in half.
"Come on," he says suddenly, standing up off the couch quickly. "Let's go home to our bed. I think we have some new things to try," he says cheekily, offering her his hand.
Her eyes go wide, but she has to bite down on her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling. She takes his hand and follows him as he leads the way out the back door of the bakery, stopping briefly to lock up, and then heads home.
He only has the presence of mind when they get home to shut the windows in their bedroom, not wanting anyone—much less Haymitch—to hear the sounds he plans to have her making tonight.