Not a really long chapter, because I'm still at a loss as to how to deal with this. It's an interesting idea I guess, in its potential for laughs and stuff, but still...
Tony hung his head, "I'd forgotten how boring this was. How did I forget how boring this was? I'm a genius. I can't forget things. Unless they bore me. For the sake of my sanity. It's like selective amnesia to prevent getting an aneurism from the dull and tedious procedure that is university engineering."
He poked at the cheap multimeter Sarah had brought over. It was hideous. He should have it exiled from his tower.
She smacked his hand away and picked up the probes, "Using excessively long words doesn't get you out of this, Tony."
"This isn't engineering, it's an insult to engineering," the billionaire-extraordinaire continued, trying to shield his eyes from the abomination occurring on his table. A table. One of his tables. "It's the Dummies' of engineering. Babies could do it." It was a nice table. Very stable. It didn't deserve what was happening on it.
He had ideas on what was supposed to be done on it. Good ones. Genius ones.
"It doesn't matter," the she-devil who had tricked him into this smiled sweetly as she prodded at her boost converter circuit (just…really? That was so, so easy), "Now tell me why there's no current here."
"This is an abuse of resources," he informed her, "It's like using rocket fuel for one of those vintage kerosene lamps. I could explode." He peeked through his fingers at the blasphemous thing, "And your capacitor blew. Again."
"Damn it," she muttered, pulling it out almost viciously. With her bare hand. He opened his mouth to warn her of the discharge but she'd already ignored him twice and it wasn't like they were playing with power levels that were actually dangerous (only 9V, unbelievable, what has the world come to that Tony Stark was fiddling with a circuit powered on only nine volts?) so he saved his breath to continue the very eloquent litany of his plight.
"I could have built something by now," he despaired as she replaced the little 470µF (so, so small-time) capacitor with another (horror upon horrors) store-bought one. "I could have been working on Jarvis, improving Dummy, or even fixing up Butterfingers so that he could actually butter. I could be revolutionizing the entire market of New Energy or something. But noooo, I have to stick with you, poke at this, this travesty powered on store-bought AA batteries, using an actual MOSFET and a silicon semiconductor with absolutely deplorable efficiency. And act as your human troubleshooter when if you'd just let me hook it up to Jarvis he'd be able to do everything for you… Or even better: Build it with my stuff."
"Yes, yes," she waved, "Now what's wrong with it?"
He peeked over his shoulder, "You short-circuited the inductor."
"Where?"
He poked at the two ends with a test pen, "Here, and here. This wire's bypassing it."
"Oh."
"And I can't believe you're using the Convectional Current Law. It's not even a real law. It's a mistake that stupid people made because they thought electrons were positive charge. And they didn't bother to fix it because they didn't want to admit they were wrong," He griped.
"It's just the direction that was wrong. Geez. If they had to correct it, then they'd have to correct all the other theorems they made. And it didn't really affect anything except which was a plus and which was a minus."
"It's reversing the polarity."
"But we both know nothing happens when you do that."
"It affects the readings! It's wrong."
"Example."
"Semiconductor."
"Reverse-breakdown or reverse-biased?"
"Rev—" He paused in the middle of pointing his pointedly pointed finger, "Heyyy…"
The wily vixen giggled under his glare, but frowned as she probed her circuit from another end. Heh. Probe. "Why can't I get 15V?"
Oh for goodness…"Because you're using store-bought components!" He exclaimed, exasperated, "They're useless and break easily and if you'd just let me…"
"No, Tony."
He hissed. It was painful. It really, really was. Looking at the thing was so. Damned. Painful.
"Now what's wrong?"
"Short circuit."
"And here?"
"Short circuit."
"And…why did the voltage just flatline again?"
"Because your capacitor blew. Again."
"Goddamnit."
xXXx
"So if you put this to this and use this law and this you can get a miniature revolution of modern technology."
"That's nice Tony," Sarah beamed, allowing the incomprehensible babbling to wash over her, "But that's not what we were studying." She'd learnt that the best way to manage him was to let him speak but not derail and to sweep over it immediately after.
"But it's boring. It's…simple."
"Keep It Simple Stupid."
"We're not writing an essay," he crossed his arms, "And are you calling me, Tony Stark, ruler of Stark Industries and World's Sexiest Man twice on People's Magazine, stupid?"
That had sounded oddly defensive.
"If the shoe fits snugly," she smirked, "And it looks like it does. Like fluffy slippers." And then she crossed her arms under her bosom, "Tony Stark doesn't know how to explain Physics."
His eyes dropped, but his tone retained some measure of outrage, "I can explain Physics! I can explain the pants off Physics!"
She snorted, "Then why do I still not understand it?" She raised a hand to stall his argument of her being unable to understand his genius or something, "The definition of a good explanation is one that anyone can understand."
He paused and looked back up into her eyes, mouth open. Then he closed it.
Then he sucked in a breath and opened it again.
"Erm…" he stalled, "Urhmmmm…."
"Yes, Tony?" She raised her brow, giving him the smile that he had taken to calling her Devil's Smile, citing how she was both extraordinarily sexy and evil with it.
She'd started practicing it when she got home that day.
There was a small strangled sound like a dying chicken before he muttered, "Evil. Evil. How do you keep winning?!" He rounded on her, "It doesn't make sense! I'm a genius! And snarky! I'm a genius at snark. It rhymes with my name!"
"That's easy, Tony," she kept up the smile, reaching over to pat his hand consolingly. He scowled.
She took a deep breath…
He leaned in…
"I'm a woman."
…
…
…
"Now explain it to me again."
There was a wordless howl of frustration.
xXXx
"You," he glared over his jumbo-bowl of pasta, spearing the tube-shaped macaroni with his fork.
"Me," she replied with that sweet smile he now knew was a veneer for the evil, evil being that she was. Despite his warning glare, she still dared crack open that horrendously dry textbook-that-belonged-in-a-museum at the dining table.
Not that he'd had much use for the table. Pepper had picked it and he only started eating there after Sarah. And there still had not been any naughty things done on the table.
Damn her deliciously evil cooking. And the rest of her…other delicious treats. He just couldn't refuse a sexy and smart woman. And this was a sexy, smart and funny woman who could cook.
And studied engineering. The boring bits, but she understood what he was saying. When it was sufficiently lowered to her level, but still.
"You," he hissed (he was doing that a lot lately), hunching over the bowl and jabbing its contents into his mouth, "Youuuuu…"
"Now, Tony, please explain why…"
"Evil," he mumbled around his spoon as she ignored his patented glare (the patent was actually in the works), "Evil."
He wondered if he should introduce her to Pepper.
…He probably wouldn't survive the meeting.
But it would be so worth it.
xXXx
"Finally," he breathed, collapsing onto the designer couch—he didn't know the name but everything in his suite was designer, "Finally."
And then, he broke into demented little giggles.
There was a snort which he magnanimously ignored because at last he was free. Free!
"Oh, Tony…"
He blinked into blue, blue eyes. Very pretty blue eyes. The rest of her face was also flatteringly framed by a wreath of dark brown hair.
"No," he backed away as far as he could into the couch, wishing it were softer so he could sink further backwards. "No."
She was so very pretty, but so very evil.
"That's your evil face. Hell no."
"My face is evil?" she turned instantly watery eyes at him (how did she do that?).
"Noooo," he backpedalled over the couch and behind the table, "You will not tempt me again. Back, evil seductress! Back!"
She held the soulful expression for another moment before dissolving into laughter.
He affected a winsome pout, "You slept a summer by my side and took my childhood in your stride. You've killed my dreams!" He jumped up, "You made PHYSICS BORING. AGAIN."
Her eyes brightened, evil cackles fading away, "It was only one night and your childhood ended before mine began. But oh my god, you're actually CULTURED." And what did she mean by—she squealed, hurting his ears. Maybe he should get Jarv to record it for sonar readings, that was like, a whale of pain.
And then she stood and delivered a decent rendition of the song.
Well, it was worthy of some praise. He clapped, "I'm surprised. Not a lot of people your age know Les Mis these days. And what do you mean cultured. I'm plenty cultured!"
"Yes, yes," she snorted, flapping her hand at him. How insulting. "And I love Les Mis. I've always adored Broadway, and I wish I had seen the original cast." She pouted, but returned to the main topic (him), "And you're as cultured as milk, Tony."
"Hey!" He protested, "I'm in my prime!"
She eyed him with a deadpanned look. He had to applaud her again, it was A+. Very flat and piercing.
But still. He was not old! She was just young!
He winced, not gonna think about that. She was legal, he was still young, and he was cultured. In the non-dairy sense.
He eyed her back, "I can never win with you, can't I?"
"Unless you throw money at me? Yep."
"If I throw money at you will you sleep with me?"
"Not on your life."
It was an old argument by now. It didn't matter what he said, she wouldn't take his money. Weird.
Or naïve, he allowed. She'd understand soon. They always caved to the green.
And then he'd have his pretty and witty chef-with-a-rack and engineer-speak buddy. For now, he supposed he could just pay for her studies on the sly for every trip she made to his tower to cook.
He should get her some cookbooks. Italian was a favourite but he liked mixing things up sometimes.
And maybe get her into a better university for her Masters' in Mechanical Engineering and Electrical Engineering. The stuff she was learning was fine for now but she was going to need more applicable physics if she was to understand his discussions. She wasn't a genius, but she comprehended well enough once he figured out how to explain things on her level. And once he'd taught her some of the fun stuff, they'd be able to talk about and play with the toys that he had.
"What are you smirking for?" He blinked. She was eyeing him warily with a promise of untold pain to be unleashed if she didn't like the answer. Women.
He rubbed his fashionably styled beard and winked, "Just thinking of you."
I guess some of you have realized some of my engineering roots. :P Yes, I know engineering. ^^ Unfortunately, not really on the same front as Tony, since he does more mechanical and robotics than just plain electrical, but yeah. I can add in Physics too. XD
So...not much of an update. Tell me what you think of Tony? He's pre-Afghanistan so I feel that he's still on some level kind of mercurial and less kind. If anyone wonders why Tony would let a college girl waltz up into his tower so easily...well, he (or rather Jarvis) did the appropriate checks and she turned up clean. And he might be mercurial, but he's never been a snob. :) I think at the core, he's just lonely, so anyone who'd give him the time of the day and talk to him about what he's interested in and understand would definitely find a friend in him. As for Sarah, I never really elaborated on how she sees him, did I? I'll have to take some time to think about that one...it's a little deep.
If anyone wants to talk at me about Tony Stark, feel free! As I've said before, I'm pretty clueless on the Avengers (I still haven't watched the movie) so if anyone feels that something's wrong or awkward, TELL ME.
Flamers will receive repulsor blasts to the face though. :P
Memory25