My dreamworld was so real but being back here in 2013 with Demi the love of my life was the best thing that ever happened to me I still have to break it off with Blanda officially but the habit I picked up since I started dating her was letting itself known I was antsy and jittery becasue I hadnt had a fix in months but I need to stop it so thats why Im afraid to see her face to face cause she is like a drug that cant be denied. When I started dating her I was content I wasnt in love with her and even in these past 11 months Ive been with her my heart is still not hers it belongs to Demi but as we got deeper in our realtionship and we went to all her art parties and model parties she introduced me to heroin a drug that is fatal but since the first time I tried it Ive been hooked and everytime I tried to stop or break up with her she would convince me that she was the only one who could make me happy and the drug will be given to me all over again she always used my addiction against me and the time in Vegas she said she was tired of me not having sex with her so that is how the arguement started.
Flashback Vegas September 2013
We got back to the hotel room after a night of partying for Nicks bday and after the realization I came to that I was still in love with Demi I buried myself in drinking and getting high but not too much so when I got back to my hotel with Blanda I had sobered up and just wanted to sleep but Blanda being Blanda she started kissing on me and taking off my jacket but I stopped her before my shirt came off. "Joe come on weve been together long enough to make love and I need you baby so come on stop being so damn moral it doesnt suit you." She complained and I sighed angrily I wasnt ready to have sex with her not to mention I swore to myself the next time I made love with someone would be the girl I truly loved and was planning on marrying someday and nas of right now Blanda was not my wife in my future plans she was just conveniant, "Im not ready yet Blanda and I have told you that time and time again so stop trying to seduce me it isnt working." I said angrily and she made a complete 180 and started yelling, "I cannot beleive you Joe WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 11 FUCKING MONTHS ARE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE NOT READY OT IN THE MOOD TO SLEEP WITH ME FUCK YOU." She shouted and I groaned my head was splitting I had a little too much to drink and the drugs Ive been taking are finally taking its toll on my body and I wasnt in the mood to argue with my so called girlfriend.
"Blanda enough alright I dont want to and my head is killing me and all your shreaking is making it worse so please do me a favor and shut the fuck up." I yelled and she slapped me before looking at me with anger in her eyes before they softened, "aww my poor baby I know what will make you feel better you just need a fix baby and Ill give it to you ok here." She cooed as she showed me a bag of cocaine and my eyes widened as my heart raced what the hell was this woman doing to me and why havent I noticed it, "no B I dont want drugs it was fun at first but now its too damn much I was never like this yes I drank but I never did drugs and it seems ever since I was with Ashley and now you thats all Ive been doing so no I dont want to take any more drugs and I sure as hell dont want to have sex with you when Im not in my right mind so no and if youre going to sniff that then get another room I dont want that in my prescence." I told her and even though my body was screaming for me to take it I kept myself strong and firm not succumbing to my dark desires.
She was pissed and the next thing I know she starts shouting and the things she said shocked me to my core and angered me beyond belief, "PATHETIC BOY I CANNOT BELEIVE WHAT YOU JUST SAID I GUESS CAMILLA WAS RIGHT ALL YOU ARE IS A LITTLE BOY WHO DOESNT KNOW HOW TO BE A MAN WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU GREW A CONCIOUS WELL FUCK YOU YOURE NOT THAT GOOD ANYWAY AND IVE GOTTEN BETTER ORAL SEX WITH OTHER MEN SO FUCK YOU AND YOUR MORALS ILL HAVE FUN ON MY OWN I CAN GET FAMOUS ANOTHER WAY AND FUCK OTHER MEN WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT. YEA IVE BEEN CHEATING ON YOU AND BOY WAS IT FUN HE KNOWS HOW TO PARTY JUST LIKE ME." She shouted and I saw red as soon as she mentioned Camilla and her cheating and I wasnt all in my mine I did something I never thought I would I slapped her and glared, "FUCK YOU BITCH YOURE NOTHING BUT A GOD DAMN CRACK WHORE WHO TAKES DRUGS TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT HERSELF AND I AM DONE WITH IT ALL I NEVER LOVED YOU AND I WAS ONLY WITH YOU UNTIL THE ONE I REALLY LOVE CAME BACK TO ME SO FUCK YOU AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO BE WITH CAUSE YOU AND ME ARE DONE AND TAKE THOSE DAMN DRUGS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS YOURE NOT WORTH MY HEART AND I AM SO HAPPY I NEVER GAVE IT TO YOU!" I shouted before storming out the room and getting into a car driving as far away from her and my demons as I could but in an instant I saw a flash and car slamming into mine throwing me to a tree and the last thought I had was of Demi and how I never told her how much I still loved her before I blacked out.
Flashback ends
I came out of that thought and sighed not wanting to remember it I was at home now and Demi had to run some errands so I was left with Winston in my aprtment surfing the tv changing channels looking for something to watch what I didnt expect was to see the damn bitch I never wanted to see ever again on my doorstep. "What the hell are you doing here Blanda I thought I made it clear in Vegas I never wanted to see you again and if you cant get that through your stupid brain its over between us so leave I had Demi mail your things back to New York so you can leave." I told her firmly but she just smiled, "oh come one Joey it was an arguement and we said things we didnt mean I love you baby and I know you love me too plus I brought you a little present as a peace offering so come one baby forgive me." She cooed and I rolled my eyes but tensed as soon as I saw the heroin in her hands and I started shaking yelling at myself to be strong but the urge to take it was overwhelming me and I just wished Demi was here with me she could stop me from doing something stupid but no matter how much I fought I ended up taking it and the guilt consumed me. I was pretty high and Blanda was kissing me and taking off my clothes and I just couldnt care less but before anything happened my door opened and I heard her angelic voice reach my ears and I froze before pushing Blanda off me and sat away from her as my head spinned, "Joey Im home what the fuck is going on here."
I heard her yell and she looked to see a half naked Blanda trying to kiss me while I pushed her away before her eyes rolled over to the coffee table and she saw nthe heroin stash and all hell broke loose as I was coming in and out of conciousness, "Dem baby I dont feel so good." I slurred and she rushed to me checking me over as tears of anger and sadness filled her eyes as she screamed at Blanda and called 911 before I blacked out completely.
Demi's POV
Having Joe back was the best thing that has ever happened to me but I knew something was seriously wrong I just didnt know what him and his brothers were barely speaking to each other the past week since hes been home and hes been very clingy to me begging me to stay with him and so I did holding him and cuddling with him he still hadnt officially broken up with Blanda but he didnt want to see her so goign to Brazil to promote my album DEMI left me with an uneasy feeling in my heart and stomache so when I came back from Brazil and made my way to Joe's apartment I never thought I would see the scene before me a half naked Blanda trying to take off Joe's clothes and kissing him as he looked quite out of it and when he heard me and pushed her away I could see something was seriously wrong with him I know they werent having sex cause his boxers were still on but his eyes looked blood shot and he was shaking which scared the crap out of me and when I pushed Blanda away and went to Joe to check him I looked to the coffee table and my worse fears came to life a half empty bag of heroin stared me in the face and Joe was haking like a leaf.
"Joe baby OMG what did you do what did you do this cannot be happening I just got you back and I come home to this baby say something please." I asked frantically trying to calm myself down it was too much, "Dem baby I dont feel so good Im cold please dont hate me she came with the bag and I tried to stop myself from taking it but I wasnt strong enough baby I wasnt strong enough." He said incoherently and I cried he needed a hospital and he needed one fast so I called 911 and told them Joe could possibly have a heroin overdose and they told me what to do until the ambulance got there and I got in with them leaving Blanda alone in his apartment as the cops took the bag and Blanda with them I could care less about her and focused everything on Joe as the paramedics pumped his stomache. We arrived at the hospital and the fucking paparazzi was swarming the place so I just ignored them as they wheeled Joe into a room where they fought to save his life. I called Denise and Nick telling them what happened when they broke down and rushed to come back to LA where Joe needed them. A few hours later I heard my name being called and looked to see Nick and Olivia as well as Denise Paul and Frankie and I ran into Nick's arms finally breaking down in his arms as he held me and Denise held me as well.
"I wanted to surprise him but I walked in on Blanda tking off his clothes and Joe weakly pushing her away like he was out of it I pushed her away and was glad to see he still had his underwear on but saw the half empty bag of heroin lying on nthe floor next to Joe as he shaked and graoned I was so damn scared so I called 911 and they came along with the cops who took Blanda and the parmaedics who were busy pumping Joe's stomache and than I called you. Im so scared Nicky I just got Joe back I cant lose him again why didnt you tell me that bitch was feeding him drugs if I knew I would of stopped the relationship from progressing sooner and got Joe help." I cried and Nick held me as Olivia rubbed my back trying to calm me down as Kevin and Danielle were supporting each other, "I wanted to tell you Dem but I was afraid something bad would happen Joe was finally happy and I thought he was getting help if I knew he stil needed it I would of never gone back to New York and forced him to go to rehab." He cried and I held him I didnt blame him or Joe I blamed Blanda and if I ever saw her again I would rip off that blonde hair of hers and rearrange her face.
"Joe Jonas family, hi Im Dr. Sanz and I am treating Joe I am glad to inform you that he is stable but if he had come even five minutes later he would have been dead so whoever brought him saved his life. I took blood tests and some other ones and I saw huge amounts of heroin and cocaine in his blood stream that are starting to attack his healthy cells and he needs to be detoxified as of now before it gets worse I have called Passages in Malibu to admit him for his heroin and cocaine addiction a representative will be coming in two hours to explain how it is in the facility and to do a preliminary check on Joe before admitting him fully it is the only place your son can get help his addiction is escalating and he needs professional help." The doctor said and Nick held me tight as I was this close to breaking down again the love of my life was addicted to drugs all becasue of his crack whore of an ex god I hated her with a passion and I wanted so bad to beat the shit out of her. An hour later Joe woke up not understanding what was happening, "mom, dad whats going on where's Demi and why am I in the hospital." He asked disoriented and I cried as I walked up to him and hugged him as he held me tight not wanting to let go, "baby do u remember what happened you scared me so bad love I was terrified."
I cried and he looked at me before realization hit him and he started crying as he looked down to his lap ashamed, "Im sorry Dem I thought I could kick the habit on my own you had so many things coming up I didnt want to worry you and I thought I was doing good but than Blanda showed up at my aprtment with the bag of heroin and as much as I fought I ended up giving in and than I felt her doing stuff and I tried fighting her off but I was too high Im sorry Dem, mom and dad I shouldnt of let myself get influenced by Blanda but the drugs made me feel good and they helped me numb the pain Ive had since I broke up with Demi the first time when I was 20 I still blamed myself for all her pain and I drowned myself in alcohol and drugs to forget Im sorry so sorry." He cried and I cried with him holding him tight in my arms as I comforted him and placed kisses on his head he needed me more than ever now and I was goign to help him becasue I love him and dont want to lose him. "Dont worry Joey we're going to help u ok baby a representative from Passages is here to explain the facilty and its programs for you Ill be with you every step of the way ok love." I told him and he held me before kissing me lovingly on the lips as we settled in his bed as the person from Passages came in to talk to all of us about Joe's treatment he would get.
"Well Joe Passages is a facility where we help you along with your family to stop your addiction its going to be tough and the week you're in detox will be torture but once you're passed that hurdle everything will be better for u. We strongly encourage family support ijn our facility and after your detox week you'll be able to communicate with your family and your girlfriend and they can even come to some of your therapy sessions to help you out ok. Youll be assigned a life coach as well as a sobriety counselor who will help you in your recovery there is a gym to help you with your endurance and acupuncture to help with the cravings youll have. We are here to help you and your famly Joe get theough this rough time and its all up to you if you want to go there or not we cannot force you but it will be the best help of your life Joe and after you finsish your three month program you will continue outpatient care until you are able to care for yourself addiction is for life but we can help you prevent any more relapses its all up to you Joe." Mr. Frey said and as I looked at Joe and he looked at me as well as to his family he sighed and came to a decision, "ok Ill go I want to get better and I know your facility can help me its one of the best addictions center in all of California so yes Ill go." He said and I sighed hugging him tight before kissing him lovingly on the lips as he held me as tears fell from both our eyes.
Joe's POV
I knew I had a problem and to see how heart wrenching it was for Demi and my family to see me like this I had to goet help for me and for the ones I love so when the guy from Passages came and explained everything I decided to go I needed help before I died so here I am in my dad's car with my whole family coming to say their goodbyes and when I looked up the place was beautiful and I just squeezed Demi's hand for the strength I needed to do this I walked in and was met with the staff who would help settle me into my room, "welcome to Passages Mr. Jonas I am Steven and I will help settle you in so lets get you all signed in and than we'll show you your room ok. Please sign here as guests and follow me." He told us and I we did as Demi held my hand tight walking around it looked kind of like a hotel and it didnt feel like I was in a rehab center. We walked through a hallway with bedrooms and than we came to mine, "this will be your bedroom Mr. Jonas I do hope you like your stay Ill leave you to get settled and to say your goodbyes before I take you to meet with your medical staff to see what detox program is best for you." He said and walked out my parents looked around and Demi and Nick helped me unpack my things before we sat down next to each other and I held Dem in my lap, "well sweety I hope your stay here helps and that we'll be able to spend the holidays with you maybe the doctor can let you out on a family day or something. I wnat u to know Joeseph that I love you more than anything and youre still my baby boy always and forever ok you work on getting better ok son and once you do your dad and I will be waiting with open arms we love you son." My mom said with tears in her eyes hugging mw tight as my dad hugged me as well and I just buried myself into their embrace I missed them already and loved them even more.
They gave me a hug and a kiss and walked out of my room to the car they couldnt stand to see me here it broke their hearts and I sighed looking towards my brothers when I was tackled by a group hug by both my brothers as they held on to me tight and I felt Nick's tears wet my shirt, "Im going to be ok Nick I promise I am here and I am getting help for the problems that woman caused me and I am so sorry I didnt listen to you when you warned me about Blanda I have horrible taste in women well except for the gem that is Demi Lovato but you dont have to worry no more me and Dem are for keeps this time Im going to marry her one day." I whispered in his ears and he chuckled sniffing and hugging me tight Kevin gave me a bear hug along with Dani and he kissed my forehead he hadnt done that since I was a kid so it filled my heart with love to know he still loved me as he little brother. "You get better ok baby bro my daughter needs he Uncle Joe and so do I so stay here and get better and Ill be waiting with open arms when you come home." He said and I hugged him as I broke down in my big brothers arms like a little kid and kissed Dani on the cheek as she hugged me tight, "take care of my family Dani ok they are going to need you now more than ever and so is Demi dont leave her alone to deal with this ok promise me." I whispered urgently in her ear and she smiled kissing my cheek, "I promise Joe Ill keep an eye on her and your brothers ok." I smiled and hugged her tight as I hugged my brothers once more before they left leaving me and Demi alone in my room and she threw herself in my arms crying her eyes out as I held her tight trying to calm her down.
"Im going to miss you so much baby but you need to get help ok I got help when I needed it and now its time for you to get help but Ill be waiting for you with arms wide open when you return to me ok baby Ill take care of your mom and Winston and Ill visti you whenever I can ok if it was up to me I would sleep here with you but I know they wont let me. I love you Joe with all my heart and I am not leaving you I will suport you in everything ok." She told me and I crashed my lips on hers kissing her hungrily and with a lot of love god I needed her. "I love you too Dem with everything I am and I am going to need you now more than ever ok babygirl its me and you against the world ok always." I told her and she smiled before kissing me hungrily and with a lot of love on the lips god I loved her and was so glad to ahve her in my life she was it for me and I couldnt wait to get better so I can start my life with Demetria Devonne Lovato. I kissed her more before she had to go she left me her purity ring and kissed me one more time, "I love you Joey get better for me ok so we can plan out future together." She said and I wiped away her tears before nodding yes and kissing her hungrily one more time sucking on her tongue devouring her mouth in a hot kiss burning her taste into my memory, "I love you Dem with all I am u are my angel and my soulmate and I will love you for forever baby." I told her and kissed her one more time before she walked out of my room and out the door and I broke down whle watching her on my balcony driving away. Once I was settled I was led to the office where a full medical exam was given to me and sent off to the lab to determine what detox program I was getting so after I got a tour and had dinner the shakes were coming to me so I had the doctor do acupunture to calm me down which it helped significantly so I was able to sleep without interuption.
I took a shower and dressed in my pajamas before turning on my laptop so I could skype with Demi I missed her terribly and I just needed to talk to her, "hey baby how you feeling I miss you and so does Winston." She told me as Winny jumped on my bed with Demi to look at the computer Demi decided to stay in my apartment tonight she needed to feel like I was with her so I didnt mind, "hey babygirl hey Winston I miss u guys too and I am doing ok I needed an acupuncture treatment cause my cravings were getting too much but it helped by tommorow the doctor should have the results of my exam to make determine what the best detox program is but I have a feeling it will be the drug detox program I would have to take but I should know tommorow. I love you babe and I miss you like crazy but I am getting the help I need so wait for me ok love Ill come back to you once Im cured." I told her and she smiled as tears fell down her face and she blew me a kiss, "Ill wait Joey and once youre back no one will tear us apart I wont let them ok. I dedicated a video for u its from Christina Milian us against the world because thats who we are so here I love u babe." She said and the video popped up making me cry tears of love and joy for my wonderful girl who I love unconditionally. ( watch?v=dJoCvMP9Uns)
I cried and blew her a kiss as the song finished, "yea babygirl its us against the world always you and me are forever I love you Dem and I will never let you fall or drown. Your my life Demi and if we're the only ones left on this planet Ill be happy having you with me by my side I love you beautiful you're my world and once I get better we'll be able to start on our happily ever after cause you Demetria are my queen and I will love you forever no matter who tries to get in our way youre my forever Dem and I will love you until my dying breath." I told her as she cried tears of love and placed her hand against the screen of my laptop, "youre my forever too Joey I love you and when you come home we'll be together until we die together and in each others arms my heart belongs to you and my soul is yours baby for eternity. I cant breathe without you my life and yors are intertwined fir eternity and I cannot wait to start on our happily ever after when you come home. Ill be waiting here Joe with my heart and soul so get better for me baby ok so we can be happy." She told me and I smiled tearfully as I blew a kiss to her from the screen and she smiled her breathtaking smile that has my heart in a vice and we said are goodnights and I love yous before signing off. I sighed and looked up to the moon as I closed my eyes and pictured Demi looking at me with love as I stared up to the moon, "Ill get better for you Dem and when I get home we'll be together forever no matter who doesnt like it shes the one for me and I am going to spend my whole life proving it to her as I said a prayer for her and walked inside my room settling into my bed and falling asleep looking at a picture of Demi staring up at me from the night table before giving it a kiss and closing my eyes with dreams of Demi and I in love and happy together.