"welcome to TOP GEAR!" shouted ten, as the camera panned and zoomed over the cheering crowd before finally settling on the three hosts, the ninth tenth and eleventh doctors. "thanks for coming out tonight!" ten continued. "that's right. We totally respect you're religious choice to be attracted to dudes." everyone stared at him. "moving on" nine said quickly. "tonight we have a TOP GEAR special. We were ordered to buy cars for under 6000000 quid, and meat in Nome, Alaska. "Of course, being the only one with any sense, I arrived first" eleven monolog ed.
The bow tie waring doctor stepped out of is car, just know arriving at the first meeting point. "as you can see, I have chosen a black, 48, two wheel drive, dodge pickup." he said, describing his white, 84, four wheel drive, ford minivan. Ten was the next one to arrive. On a bicycle. Finally, nine showed up in a grand pre. "um... this is a car some random dude with a gun made me buy." he said. Ten and eleven argued about there vehicles before descending into wrestling again, while nine watched and stroked marry sue. Finally, a man in a white coat arrived with a envelope. It was a mail bomb.
After the three doctors recovered, another man arrived with an envelope. Ten promptly beat him with a croquet mallet. "no! Wait! Im the TOP GEAR guy!" the man shouted. Ten drooped the mallet, picked up the letter and read it. "you must drive to Argentina" was all it said. "OK" eleven said. "simple enough. First one there wins!" and with that, ten and eleven took of for south America. Nine got confused and began to drive towards the north pole.
Passing threw Canada, eleven called ten on the radio. "what do you suppose happened to the actual TOP GEAR hosts?" he asked. "plot convince" replied ten. Suddenly eleven got a different call on the radio. "hello?" "stop breaking the fourth wall!" yelled the ninth doctor over the radio. Eleven rolled his eyes and hung up. Finally, the doctors (well, two of them anyways) arrived at the Mexican border. "we will need to modify are vehicles to get threw south America. Que the music!" ten said. The second doctor came in, playing his recorder. Eleven hit him with a croquet mallet. "you're not in this story." he told him angrily. With that the time lords began their work.
Eleven painted a giant fez on his car. Ten turned his bicycle into a unicycle. Nine was chased by a polar bear. With that done, the epic car journey continued. Except for nine, who got stuck trying to free some whales. Long story. "well here we are. Argentine" ten exclaimed, after many hot and cramped days driving threw the jungles later. This period wasn't covered because there was nothing scripted to happen. "since this is the end of the episode you should say something funny" eleven told him. Ten thought for a second before saying "why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but in soviet Russia, chickens cross YOU!" eleven stared at him. The two started to try to strangle eatchother, as the credits rolled.
"and that's what happened while you were away at the university of Nevada!" nine proudly finished his story, smiling happily at the war doctor. The war doctor punched him in the face.