AN: It's late in coming, I know! I apologise most profusely for my neglect of this story but as everyone knows real life is a bitch and gets in the way of what we would really like to be doing with our time. :( I hope this keeps you satisfied while I catch up on the myriad of other stories I'm currently writing! Lol. Enjoy and R&R, I love hearing your comments.

Chapter Eleven: Space Oddity

Sirius took the mug of strong coffee in shaking fingers, he cupped it as if it was the most precious and delicate thing in the world as he allowed the warmth to heat his frozen hands. Remus sat down on the floor opposite him and Sirius determinedly avoided eye contact.

"We've gone through the whole apartment and removed any drugs we found." He began softly and ignored Sirius' furious glare. "James and I will be here to help you through this."

Sirius said nothing; he stared into the dark depths of his coffee with a frown. James sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his head. "We're not doing this to hurt you, Siri…We care, we want to help you! You can't keep going down this road or you'll kill yourself."

"It's too late." Sirius whispered, still refusing to look at his friends. "It's over for me…I-I…I don't know how to live without the drugs. I've lost my baby brother…I wasn't there for him and he…he's dead…"

"You can't blame yourself for that, Sirius!" Remus said sharply. "What he did was off his own back, how could you have possibly known? How could you have prevented it?"

Sirius shrugged dejectedly, his shoulders slumped and he lifted eyes ringed in shadows to Remus'. "I dunno…I just feel like if I'd been there for him and not run away then maybe…maybe I could have saved him somehow…"

James put a hand on his shoulder and dragged his head so that they were looking at each other. "It's all if's and buts Sirius." He said quietly. "If there was something you could have done I know you would have, we know it and you need to believe it."

Sirius shivered and wrapped his blanket around his shoulders; he hunched in on himself and lowered his head so a fall of dark hair hid him from view. Weak sunlight drifted in through the single grimy window, it highlighted the three boys as they sat in silence. Remus sipped his coffee and glanced at James who was staring at the wall with an awkward expression. The uncomfortable silence stretched on until it was shattered by the sound of the door bell, Sirius jumped as if it was gun fire. His head shot up and he spilt coffee over his hand yet didn't seem to notice, he jumped to his feet and went to the door which he pulled open before either of his friends could stop him. He winced a little in the bright sunlight before his eyes adjusted to the sudden glare, the figure that stood before his door was not the person he had expected. The girl was pretty with long vibrant red hair and big almond shaped green eyes, she smiled at him and held out a basket of food. "Hi, is James here? His mother said he would be and she sent round some food for you, Sirius."

Sirius dumbly stood back and allowed her inside; he closed the door behind her and took the food from her before walking to his Kitchenette. James leapt to his feet and embraced his girlfriend tightly, Sirius turned his back on the scene as his heart began to ache all over again. As he began putting away the food sent to him by Dorea Potter he couldn't help but overhear the others.

"James, what are you doing here? You said you would meet me after work!" Lily sounded hurt.

"Well…I…I was…" James flushed guiltily and rubbed at the back of his head as his gaze flickered to Sirius' back. "I-I…"

"He was here with us." Remus said softly. "Sirius' brother died and we were here to help him."

Lily's face paled and her lips parted, her eyes filled with pity as she turned and went to Sirius who was now stood watching the group from dark eyes. "I'm so, so sorry!" She whispered as she reached him and flung her arms around his neck, Sirius took this stiffly and said not a word. "I had no idea." She drew away, seeming to sense his hesitancy. "If there's anything you need, just ask."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm fine…or at least…as fine as I can be, given the circumstances." His voice came out in an odd kind of croak and Lily smiled softly.

"Ok, well I guess I'll go back home and have a bath, I've been on my feet all day…James, will you see me out?" James agreed and the couple went out the door. As the door closed behind them Sirius took a shaking breath before slipping to the floor with his head in his hands, he pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes and gritted his teeth against the rush of complicated emotions.

Remus' eyes filled with pity as he moved towards his friend and sat at his side. "I'm going to move in with you, Sirius." He said quietly. "I'll go home tonight to get my things and James can stay with you until tomorrow." He looked over at the dark haired boy who looked up at him through a curtain of hair. "We'll get you through this."

Later that night James woke to the feel of Sirius shivering by his side, he yawned and rolled over to see his best friend curled into the foetal position. James reached out and slid his hand underneath his fringe; he was cold to the touch and clammy. Gently he shook Sirius' shoulder and got a soft groan in response, he tried again with a little more success when Sirius tensed and rolled over so they were facing each other. His eyes opened to reveal bright irises the colour of the stars, his tongue darted out and wetted his dry lips and James couldn't help but follow the movement. He felt something twist in his gut viciously, an unexplored hunger awoke inside him and he leaned down without conscious thought.

When James' lips touched his own Sirius felt a jolt of exquisite electricity run through his nerves. He reached up and tangled a hand in James' hair as he began to return the pressure of the kiss, he groaned softly and James devoured it as he forced Sirius' lips apart with his tongue. After a few moments it was James' turn to moan as he pulled away enough to gasp for breath, their eyes met and held. Sirius saw the guilt in James' eyes but knew without a shred of doubt that he wasn't going to stop, as if to confirm this he moved in again and nipped lightly at Sirius' bottom lip just as his hand slipped easily beneath Sirius' t-shirt. The fingers felt warm against Sirius' skin yet he also broke out into goose bumps as excitement flooded his brain, he arched his back into the touch and ran his tongue over James' lips to draw him back into another breath taking kiss. Sirius slid his free hand down James' chest and into the top of his shorts, James reacted instantly as memories of the last time they had been this close crowded his foggy brain. He thought briefly of Lily but pushed her image aside, Sirius needed this and, James realised, so did he. It felt as if it had been building up since the beginning of their friendship, it felt right, it felt perfect.

As James used his hands, tongue and lips to explore Sirius' body he felt the alternation between satin soft flesh and the hard ridges of old scar tissue. The bruises were faded and yellow but each time James saw one he felt a pang of grief sting his soul, Sirius seemed not to notice as he arched his back into the sensation of saliva filled kisses. His body was on fire as it never had been before, he felt an urgent need rise within him but there was no reason to fight it so he allowed himself to be swept away. With one more kiss the world faded and shrank until it contained only the two of them.

In a sudden fit of passion Sirius managed to tear off both his own and James' underwear, leaving them both naked. James pulled out of the kiss and took a moment to gaze down at the body beneath him, he had seen Sirius naked many times in the past but it was only now he realised just how stunning he was. His skin glowed in the soft moonlight that filtered down through the dirty window, his hair fell about his face like a black satin shroud and his nipples stood out in pink perfection against the smattering of dark hairs between them. Tenderly he ran a thumb over one nipple and watched as Sirius' eye lashes fluttered and his lips parted, he could feel Sirius' desperate need pressed against the outside of his thigh as it nestled between his open legs. He was more than a little nervous as he was a complete novice when it came to men, he was certain that love-making differed between the two sexes. Finally Sirius seemed to work out his problem and he sat up, one hand gliding over James' bare chest and fingers finding the rough hair at the base of his erection.

Without words Sirius guided James' hands, his body trembled at each movement, his skin broke out into a light sweat as he pressed James' fingers against the barrier of his anus. A tiny frown creased his brow and he felt James' breath quicken, their lips were so close they were brushing against each other as Sirius encouraged James to add more pressure. Sirius' eyes fluttered closed and he groaned as he felt James penetrate his body, the feeling made every nerve ending vibrate with ecstasy so exquisite he almost wanted to cry out. He reached out and wrapped one arm around James' shoulders, holding himself in place on his knees as he pushed against the intrusion. James' movements had all the hesitancy of a virgin but his eyes glowed with intimate knowledge. The odd contradiction turned Sirius on more than he thought possible and he gently extracted James from his body. He couldn't wait any longer.

James allowed himself to be manoeuvred so his back was against the wall, Sirius sat, straddling his hips as they shared a few more deep kisses. One of them groaned but neither was too bothered about who made what noise, Sirius had one firm hands wrapped around the base of James' cock and was slowly lowering himself onto it. James uttered a small, strange noise in the back of his throat as his erection came into contact with Sirius' heat. Sirius grinned briefly before wincing as he was assaulted by the familiar burning sensation of lack of preparation. James' hand leapt from his side and he wrapped it tightly around Sirius' waist, he buried his face into Sirius' throat and tried to fight the urge to thrust up and deeper into the sweat soaked body that was inadvertently torturing him.

James' finger nails bit deep into the tender flesh of Sirius' back, he could feel his lovers need like his own and he allowed himself to lower himself down onto James' waiting erection. At the sudden sensation of being wrapped in tight heat James gasped and his eyes opened to reveal Sirius' shadowy form gazing down at him, a drop of sweat slid slowly down the dip in his throat and his muscles vibrated with the pressure of holding still while his body adjusted. Finally James couldn't take the tension, he shifted his hips, encouraging Sirius to move in response. They both groaned heavily and found each other's lips in the semi-darkness. James slid his hands up Sirius' back as he felt muscles contract around his cock, he uttered a strangled noise into Sirius' mouth and thrust helplessly upwards, driving himself deeper into that incredibly tight heat.

Sirius wound James' hair around his fingers, it was dampened by sweat and he could taste the salt tang of it on his lips but he couldn't care less. As the heat increased so did their pace, Sirius' leg muscles bunched and tensed in a regular rhythm as James tried to keep up. As Sirius tipped his head back James' lips found his throat, their fingers entwined as they muttered incoherent words into the tiny apartment. Tongues met and tangled between lips that were now raw, teeth clacked as their passions increased. Sirius tugged roughly at James' hair, arching his back as nails were scraped slowly down his sensitive spine. For the first time in a long time he wasn't thinking about the next hit, he wasn't worrying about how he would pay his bills, he didn't care about what Tim was going to force him into next, for the first time in too long he felt free.

All too soon in James' opinion he felt the familiar contraction deep in his gut that preceded an orgasm, he felt Sirius' muscles tense in preparation for his own and with their lips locked they came together. Sirius' nails dug into the top of James' spine, sweat slicked bodies shuddered as hot liquid was pumped between their sticky chests and they swallowed each other's cries.

After an endless second they collapsed back into the rumpled sheets, their chests heaved and their hands remained wrapped firmly together. James lay still and breathed deeply as he felt Sirius' heart beat against his arm, the feel of soft lips caressing his shoulder made pleasant aftershocks run down his spine and straight to his sensitive groin. They lay together in a sweaty heap until sleep dragged them into unconsciousness; Sirius fell asleep with a tiny smile gracing his mouth.