AN: Well, this is a chapter of equal parts angst and happiness. I apologise for the huge delays in my updates but my life is very busy at the moment and writing has had to take a back seat. I hope this is satisfactory considering I'm writing it at five am! Lol. (Bad author! I know!) Please enjoy and any comments are most warmly welcome. :)

Chapter Twelve: Since I've Been Loving You

Soft, feather light kisses from silken lips dragged James from his sleepy darkness. He lay still and allowed himself to simply enjoy the sensation of that mouth as it caressed his flesh with such eager gentleness. Fingers teased the bone of his hip, and sharp, playful teeth found his throat and dragged a satisfied hum from his chest. His own hand found Sirius' easily beneath the duvet that barely covered them both, he tangled their fingers together just as their bodies were. He smiled but was unwilling to let his eyes open, he was enjoying the fuzzy tenderness of the moment and knew that the minute he opened his eyes it would all come undone beneath the harsh light of morning. The brush of silken hair against his shoulder, the puff of hot breath between his shoulder blades, the hesitant press of the warm body at his back…all of it was such utter perfection James was inclined to forget everything for as long as he could and simply savour the moment.

"Jamie…?"

"Hush, Siri…" James replied in a gentle whisper, his hand tightening on his lovers briefly. "Go back to sleep."

Sirius huffed softly, allowing his breath to disturb James' messy hair at the back of his neck, he smiled when James shivered appreciatively. He closed his eyes and ignored the insistent sunlight that threatened to destroy the dreamy perfection of the early morning. He felt James drift off once again and smiled to himself as he wrapped one arm around his skinny waist and pulled him closer, he nuzzled his hair affectionately before allowing his eyes to close once again.

The next time James awoke it was to the sound of someone clattering about the kitchen, he yawned and rolled over onto his side. It took him a second to register Sirius' absence and when he did his eyes opened and he looked to the noises. Sirius was humming softly to himself as he began preparing breakfast, even though it was nearly midday if the sun was anything to go by. James' smile widened as he realised Sirius was wearing a silly frilly apron and nothing else as he busily whisked eggs and milk in a bowl. "Be careful or you'll poison us both." James murmured and grinned wickedly when Sirius jumped at the sound of his voice.

Sirius sniffed and lifted his chin defiantly. "Even I can make scrambled egg, Jamie."

James raised a challenging eyebrow and pushed himself up onto one elbow, his hair was a beautiful messy nest of jet black and his hazel eyes appeared almost gold in the sunlight. He couldn't see Sirius properly as his glasses were by the bed side, he squinted a little and laughed as Sirius began attacking the eggs with more fervour. "You can't even make toast in a toaster!" James teased.

Sirius merely responded by blowing his fringe from his eyes and pouring the mixture into a hot pan, he took up a spatula and began stirring the contents with a frown of determination. James stood up and picked up his jeans from where he had removed them the previous night, he slipped into them but didn't bother to do them up as he crossed to the kitchenette. He slid behind Sirius and wrapped both arms around his waist, he rested his chin on his shoulder and began kissing the delicious skin on Sirius' throat. He heard Sirius hum contentedly as he prepared their breakfast with an impressive single minded determination.

When James' hands had the tenacity to delve lower than Sirius' waist they would be slapped away in mild irritation. James whined impatiently and pressed his half-hard cock against Sirius' bare thigh insistently. "Not now Jamie, we've got all day." Sirius admonished as he poured the eggs onto a plate already covered in hot buttered toast. "I want to prove to you I'm not totally useless."

James chuckled into the dip of Sirius' throat. "I've always known it….you have nothing to prove to me." He muttered and bit down hard at the juncture where Sirius' neck met his shoulder. "Now all I want is to bend you over the worktop and have my wicked way with you." He grinned as Sirius gasped a sharp breath.

"It didn't take much to turn you into a raging homosexual now did it?" Sirius retorted playfully as James turned him around and pushed him roughly against the work top, he saw the flash of laughter in his eyes and watched them darken as hot lips claimed his own. He wrapped both arms tightly around his neck and pulled himself as close as humanly possible to James' body. The cold surface behind him dug into his back as James kissed him with feverish passion, Sirius revelled in the feel of James' hands on his backside and the feeling of his cock rubbing against the worn denim of James' jeans. "Oh…oh god…" He hissed as James dragged his head back so he could access his throat, Sirius closed his eyes and allowed himself to give into pleasure.

Both were so immersed in each other that neither heard the sound of the door opening, Sirius moaned loudly as soft footsteps crossed the carpet at their backs. It wasn't until the intruder cleared his throat that they both felt their hearts leap into their chests, Sirius spun around in horror as recognition made the blood leave his face and his erection wilted. "Tim!" He gasped softly.

"Hey! How did you get in here?" James snapped, half furious, half wishing a hole would open up in the earth beneath his feet.

Tim grinned as he moved closer to the two boys, he admired the pink flush that suffused Sirius' cheeks and way his hands shook almost imperceptibly. He also admired James' anger, it made his eyes turn a rather nice shade of yellow-green. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you boys, I had no idea that Sirius would have guests this morning. I do hope you're charging him the usual rate, Siri, we wouldn't want to see you out of pocket now." He smirked as Sirius' face turned a deeper shade of pink and his lips parted, he was obviously at a loss for words.

"Charging?!" James hissed in outrage. "He's not a whore…not anymore!"

Tim clucked his tongue and gave the boy a pitying shake of his head, his wig nearly slipping from his head so he had to readjust it. "Dear me, someone is rather deluded. Once a whore, always a whore, Mr. Potter." James was practically growling in anger as he eyed Tim from behind the counter, Sirius stood still for a long moment before lifting his head and meeting Tim's eye.

"What do you want?" He asked quietly, taking hold of his lovers hand as if to hold him back.

"I was going to tell you that you're expected today down at the studios at four, you've been given the go ahead to record your first single….of course, if you're too busy I can always cancel but the producers might not take too kindly at a musician who disregards such opportunity." Tim sighed softly as he slid the key he had secretly copied from Sirius' own onto the counter. "I do hope you have more sense." He said and smiled to himself as he left the two lovers to their breakfast.

Sirius stared at the door for a moment as it swung shut behind Tim, he took a soft breath and felt James' eyes burning holes into his soul. His fingers wrapped themselves tightly around James' and he turned his head. James was watching him through dark eyes as if he knew what the next words would be from Sirius' lips. "Let's eat before it gets cold." He said tightly and released James' hand reluctantly. He took his plate and walked away, waiting for James to follow which he did. They ate in silence and it wasn't until Sirius put aside his plate James asked the dread question.

"What are you going to do?"

Sirius glared at the floral pattern on the china by his bare feet as he sought for words that would make James see things his way, then, finally, he lifted his head. "You know what my answer is going to be, Jamie…don't make me say it aloud so we can argue."

Pain flashed across James' face as he pulled his knees into his chest and leaned heavily against the wall. "You know there are other ways to become famous, Siri, you don't need Tim. You know that if you go back to him you'll just go right back to the drugs and sex, he'll sell you like you're nothing more than an animal. You'll be used and abused until there's nothing left of you…is…is that what you want?"

Sirius avoided James' gaze and looked down at his hands. "I've tried other ways. You know I have! Now I've got one of the biggest opportunities to really make it big and I can't afford to blow it because I know it's my last and only chance."

James sighed softly and rubbed at his tired eyes. "I just don't want to watch you hurt yourself anymore." He whispered hoarsely. "If you go back to him…If you do go back then I'll go back to Lily. I-I'll beg her forgiveness and make her take me back." The pain made his voice harsh and he almost flinched at it as he forced himself to look at his best friend. Sirius' eyes had dimmed to a dull cloudy grey and his hands sat limp in his lap.

"You're asking me to choose between my life-long dream and you?" He breathed, sounding as if every word cost him the greatest agony. His face had lost all colour so that he almost resembled a corpse. "Jamie…" he shook his head and climbed unsteadily to his feet, James watched him turn his back and closed his eyes. "You know what you mean to me…don't you?"

"If I do mean that much then let me help you find another way, I'm not asking you to give up, merely find another path!"

"There is no other way. This is my last chance at success and…and I can't give it up…not like this. I just wish that you could stand with me on this."

James stood up and lifted his hand, he hesitated and let it drop back to his side, Sirius' shoulders slumped dejectedly. "You know I can't watch you slowly kill yourself." He whispered hoarsely. "I can't stand by and let you be used and hurt by that disgusting man! How can you ask me to?! Sirius, when you come home bruised and broken it hurts me as well, is that what you want?!"

"No! No of course not! I'd die before ever seeing you hurt!" Sirius spun around to face James, his eyes glittering with emotion. "But this is the path I chose the moment I walked out on my parents! This is who I am! I live music! If you can't accept that then…then I suppose…" He took a shaking breath and shook his head sharply. "Then maybe we weren't meant to be together."

James ran a hand through his dishevelled hair and looked down at his feet. "You've made the decision…I suppose that means I don't have to." He gave voice to an agonised sigh and picked up his shirt from the tangle of clothes upon the soiled carpet, he shrugged it on.

Sirius watched James change and put his boots on, he watched helplessly as James went to the door and opened it. He wanted to stop him. He wanted to grab him and pull him back from the sunlight. He wanted to scream that he loved him, that he would do anything for him, that he would die for him. He wanted to bring him back into his arms and return to that brief but simple happiness that the morning had held, but his body was frozen as he watched James close the door. He couldn't move, he could hardly breathe as he heard James' footsteps slowly move down the steps and finally disappear from hearing.