Hello everyone! Welcome back to the story. Thank you MissiB for submitting this idea!

Pride-12

Lust-9

Sloth-8

Envy-4

Greed-3

Gluttony-1

7. Wagon Trip Terror

I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

"ARE WE THERE YET?" Greed whines for the fifth time in as many minutes.

"I told you, we still have another hour!" Father groaned exasperatedly.

"I need to go to the bathroom." Lust groaned.

"I told you to go when we left."

"I didn't need to go then!" She protested.

Father wondered if he could box his ears until he went deaf. Ah, that would be such a blessing in this moment…

He looked back at his children, with too little energy to discipline them properly. Pride was glaring with contempt at his siblings. Sloth was snoring away-in moments like this; Sloth was Father's favourite child-Lust looked uncomfortable. Greed looked to be in internal agony from boredom, and Envy seemed to be asleep. Gluttony was sitting in Father's lap looking around at everything.

The driver turned around and chuckled.

"What can you do? Kids." He laughed.

He was met with complete contempt from Father, who was using every bit of his control not to lash out at the driver.

The driver looked uncomfortable for a moment, and then acted as if nothing happened.

"Don't worry, I have kids of my own. They're absolutely…"

"Mr. Hughes, am I paying you for your commentary, or for you to drive us?" Father snapped.

Mr. Hughes shut his mouth and turned toward the front, giving a small crack of the whip to get the horses to go faster.

"I need to go!" Lust growled.

"Well that's too bad, isn't it?" After all the work getting his kids out the door, Father had no patience left for anything. At all. "We have to get to Liore as quickly as possible. I have business to attend to, and I can't leave you alone."

Greed cocked his head toward Father. "So what are you doing?"

"It is none of your business."

"Oh."

"IF YOU DON'T STOP THE CART I WILL PEE IN IT!" Lust hollered, desperate sounding. Father was about to tell her it wasn't necessary, but the cart screeched to a halt. With that, she jumped out of the door and ran to a nearby bush.

He turned around to scold Mr. Hughes, but Mr. Hughes beat him to the punch.

"Look. It's my cart and I don't want the wood to get soggy." Father didn't have anything to say in response and just sat there, sullen.

Eventually, she climbed back into the cart.

"Thank you Mr. Hughes!"

"My pleasure!"

Within half an hour of travelling, Greed was more than convinced he would die of boredom. He wanted to live! What should he do?

He turned around to view Envy…ooh!

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

"Nnngh…" Envy groaned.

"Stop sleeping. Stop sleeping."

Envy snapped open his eyes and glared at Greed. "Will you stop that?!"

"Stop what?" Greed flickered his eyes innocently.

"Daddy! Greed's poking me!"

Father didn't respond, and Greed grinned evilly, taking it as his cue. He pulled out the bear.

"Envy's a freak! Envy's a freak!" It chanted.

"That's not nice!" Envy howled.

"We're sins. We're not nice!" Greed smirked.

Envy seemed to take that into consideration and punched Greed in the face. Greed looked as if he would holler, but decided the better option was to punch back. Needless to say, there was a bit of a fight.

"Don't call me a freak!"

"But you are one!"

"Hedgehog hair!"

"Palm tree!"

"Shut up!"

"No! You shut up!"

"You shut up!"

Finally, Father had enough, and grabbed the two.

"Stop fighting! I will deal with you two later."

With that, he roughly plunked them onto the bench, and went back to Gluttony, who was now chewing a small dent in the floor.

There was fifteen minutes to go, and they were all silent. After all, it didn't take an expert to see how p'oed Father was. However, there was something that probably should have been said. Lust cautiously eyed Envy, who had been looking a little…off for the past five minutes.

"Are you okay?" Envy shook his head.

"Do you feel sick?" Lust asked quietly, making sure Father wouldn't hear. He nodded.

"Are you going to…?" He shook his head no. With that, she moved his head to her lap, rubbing his back, hoping to help him feel better. He just lay there. It might have been alright, if it wasn't for a smell that wafted into the vehicle. They heard Father sigh and pick up Gluttony oddly.

The bags were in the back, meaning that 'special smell' would be in the cart for the remainder of the trip. It was disgusting! Even Lust felt a little gross herself! She looked at Envy.

"Brother?"

He mumbled something.

"What was that?"

"Stop the…"

"Stop the what?"

He sprung up from her lap.

"ENVY!"

He heard the sound. Not a sound, the sound. Father swore under his breath, breathing in before he turned around. There was puddle on the cart floor, trailing onto Envy. Greed looked as if corrosive materials had been spilled, and had crawled into Pride's lap. Lust looked at her right shoe mournfully, muttering "why me". Envy looked at Father.

"S-sorry…"

All anger left him, replaced by weariness. "Come beside me." Envy did so-he wasn't sure if it was tentatively or wearily or a mix of both. As soon as he got beside him, he leaned on his side.

Despite the chuckle that came from Father, he gave a great amount of thought to the human concept of babysitting…

Just to let you know, requests are open, so please review!