Chapter Five, from Narcissa's Point of View. Explicit content as usual. And I don't own anything but the smut ^^
And of course, a thank you to my darling beta, The-Missing-Paige :3
(Narcissa's POV)
Draco is a happy baby. That's all I ever wanted.
In my childhood home, my happiest moments were the ones where I could disappear or be unconscious. The years when Bella and Andromeda were away at Hogwarts and I was still too little to go I would sleep as much as I could because then I could forget the drafty manor I knew and its constant promise of loneliness. A loneliness that, as Draco lies in his bassinet, I promise myself he will never know. My love for him will be obvious. Not hidden under layers of secrets or lost in mixed messages. It will be blatant and never doubted.
"I love you,Drakey," I coo to his pale round face.
He smiles and extends his arms to me, recognizing his mother. His main source of affection. The tufts of blonde hair on his head are so pale they almost blend in with his skin. My pure, untainted offspring. He is capable of achieving greatness. Not absolute power like Lucius and his colleagues seek. But a true sense of meaning and a happiness that will persevere.
No, my blonde haired baby is too far from black to ever wind up like me. In an unhappy marriage. Unfulfilled and hurting...longing for comfort in any way.
I lift him into my arms and waltz slowly around the room with him. My light. I sing him a song from my youth. Back when I was too young to realize how awful things truly were.
"One day the sun will shine
Then night will come, but the moon shall rise!
And darkness will never truly exist
In the pure heart of a wizard or witch!"
As I spin around the room I hear a loud pop and my eyes catch sight of black fabric. I stop immediately, pulling Draco closer with one arm and my other reaching for my wand. Lucius and all former followers of the dark lord have assimilated back into normal wizarding society but I cannot forget the horrors they have done and even when I try, all it takes is a black hood to remind me of the prisoners killed in the dungeons right beneath the floor where my child plays.
"Hello, Cissy."
I feel myself relax, however slightly. It's Bellatrix and as usual, she is a regal sight. Her raven black hair is in a complicated up-do, with curly strands hanging down her shoulders like vines. Her dress is a blood red, and her tightly laced corset matches her obsidian colored hair…darkness suits her.
"Bloody hell…" I sigh. "Bella…I—did you send an owl? I had no idea you were coming."
Bellatrix steps through the threshold into the nursery where I stand with Draco. She has never seen him. While Lucius was off gallivanting with the Dark Lord so were Bella and Rodolphus and in the aftermath of his destruction they disappeared for several months before resurfacing.
"He looks quite a bit like Malfoy," Bella says softly. From the close proximity I can see the red tint in the whites of her eyes.
"Spitting image of his father, yeah?" I reply with a small smile. Draco looks like the version of his father I used to know. Simple, and kind of innocent. Not that cruel, calculating man obsessed with status that I know now.
As I look up, Bella's blood shot eyes meet mine briefly and they are questioning me. Bella has always been able to find the hidden meanings intertwined within my words. Maybe it's due to being raised with secrets and lies that she can detect falsity with ease.
"Where is he? Lucius, I mean…we've all come out of hiding. The Ministry has ever so graciously turned a blind eye to those formerly affiliated…or presently affluent. " She says with a knowing smirk. She knows that Lucius paid 10,000 Galleons to avoid Azkaban. All of my family's secrets are well known among the former Death Eaters. My husband is the butt of all jokes. A rich, arrogant coward, they say. I match Bella's smirk with the polite smile I learned to plaster on my face each time I greeted Lucius's comrades in the foyer.
"My husband is a busy man. I assume Rodolphus is too?" I ask.
"I'm surprised you haven't heard…Rodolphus is in Azkaban. Serving a life sentence of course." Bella replies casually, and the smile that remains on her face is unnerving. Before I can respond she extends her arms towards Draco. Beckoning him. "'Ello little Lucius. I'm your Aunty Bella."
Draco reaches out to her as if he's known her his entire life and she takes him from my arms. I feel my body temperature drop as she plants a dark-red coated kiss on his cheek. Suddenly she looks like our mother and I feel numb. She is doing nothing wrong but I have seen Bella detonate without warning and I want my Draco nowhere near her line of fire. I think of all the horrors she has done as one of the Dark Lord's most devoted followers and feel the bile rise in my throat. I snatch Draco back from her and as I do my fingernails scratch his bare back. He cries loud and high pitched…hurt.
"Cissy…have you gone mad? Why would you snatch him like that?"
She is yelling and Draco is crying and I cannot take it anymore. "Don't touch my son Bellatrix…just don't touch my son."
"Why the hell not? You used to be so keen on me being a part of this farce of a family you've built for yourself and suddenly I pop in for visit and I'm not welcome? It's been years since we've been able to just chat and this is how you behave?"
I place Draco in his bassinet as I feel the anger color my skin. "Don't you dare chastise me, Bellatrix, I WROTE you. I sent you owl after owl but you preferred chaos and destruction to seeing the only family you have left. How can you expect me to let you hold my child with the same hands that killed and tortured not that long ago?" I yell.
Draco sobs louder and louder until it is more scream than cry.
"So you think me a monster? Is that it Cissy? You think I'm irredeemable? You don't want me near your precious little brat? Well to hell with your child and Lucius and you know what? For all I give a damn, to hell with you too!" Her eyes are wild and manic. Her speech is pressured. The unstable older sister that I knew is back and I feel the child in me cowering.
"Bellatrix, I think you should go." I say, no longer screaming but raising my wand.
"Or else what Cissy? You'll hex me?"
I open my mouth but before I can decide whether to answer her question or shout a spell she has disarmed me.
"Expelliarmus!" My wand is on the far side of the room and she is already on me.
"Have I become Druella, Cissy? Have I become our mother?" She asks with her wand on my throat. "Do I hurt people because I am hurting or because I want to be hurting…? Is it because I want to stop feeling or is it because I feel nothing? Please Narcissa. Analyze me further…judge me. Paint me as I am. Tell me that you hate me." Her wand jabs into my neck and Draco is still screaming but under her weight and wand I am useless.
I am the powerless, frail child that Druella, Bellatrix and even Andromeda abused and so I succumb like I did all those years ago. I give in. I forget myself and give her what she wants. I lean up and before she can retract our lips meet.
She pulls away, perplexed but not unwilling. When we were younger we would wrestle in our night gowns in the dead of the night and once she pinned me down, not unlike I am now, she would kiss my cheeks and neck and collar bone.
"Bella…"
"Incarcerous." She whispers, and ropes bind my arms and legs as I lie on the marble floor of the nursery. She takes her wand and runs it down the front of my garment. It undoes itself and my chest is bare. My nipples become erect with the sudden exposure and I swallow the saliva collecting in my mouth.
Bellatrix swirls her tongue around one of my nipples and my body, the betrayer, responds with a contraction. Just like that I have returned to wrongdoing. I cannot remain pure. It is not in me. It has never been.
Filthy. I am filthy.
Bella disrobes herself while I lay bound and silent. I don't hear Draco crying and that does more to frighten me than it does to comfort me until I hear his soft snore. He fell asleep, I am relieved. And Bella...she is naked.
She opens her mouth to speak, but instead, with her wand in hand she positions herself over my face and I feel the heat of her sex on my lips. There is nothing that needs to be said as my task becomes clear. I lick her and she rocks her hips on my face. I cannot breathe very well but ever so often she will raise herself to allow me air.
"Diffindo" She says, her voice breathy and her pleasure apparent. With that spell my arms are released. I do not push her off as I should but instead, I rub and occasionally enter myself, building the orgasm I crave more than life at this point. She quickens the speed of her body on my face so I quicken the speed of my tongue and fingers.
With a loud groan she orgasms and I taste her release. The sudden noise wakes Draco up and all I can hear is his wails as I catapult myself into the depths of ecstasy.
I am as much like our mother as Bellatrix is.
I am despicable.