Someone should totes help me figure out a middle name for Sarah and Cosima, just throwing that out there. As always, I do not own the characters, I just loe me some fictional lesbians.
"And you say you aren't a nerd." I pecked her cheek, grabbing the soda from taking, before taking a drag from the bottle, letting out a small burp after swallowing. "Shite, sorry." I felt my cheeks burn as she giggled at me.
"You're fine, besides that was totally weak." She said around the last of her pizza, grabbing the bottle from me, before chugging down a pretty good amount, letting out a long burp, giggling profusely afterward as I shook my head, not knowing if I was proud, or disgusted.
"Bloody hell, Cos." I chuckled, reaching for another slice of pizza. "That was...I don't even know." I took a bite, leaning back as I watched the vampires. I was never really into the whole supernatural hype as a kid, I was normally too busy getting into fights to really watch much tv.
"It was awesome and you're just jealous that you had such a tiny little thing." She beamed, curling up against the arm of the couch, her gaze shifting to the television. The way she smiled at certain things, was so cute and when she started reciting lines, I couldn't help but pull my phone out, taking a picture with a didn't even notice, but I saved it, nibbling on my pizza, tucking my feet up under me.
By the time the movie was over, I was ready for bed, but she insisted that I should watched Queen of the Damned, considering it was coming on right afterward. "Why don't you watch it and I'll go curl up in bed?" I asked, stretching my arms up over my head, fighting back a yawn.
"But that's no fun." She pouted, reminding me so much of Kira with that big brown eyed look. "Pwease, Sarah." She moved over, half laying in my lap as she grinned up at me.
"For fuck's sake, I'll watched the damned movie." I rolled my eyes, trying to seem put out, but the way her fingers were trailing along my stomach, had me smiling despite myself.
"Well, I mean it is a damned movie, you know that's why it's in the title." She snorted as I face palmed, hard enough for it to sting.
"I'm in love with a sodding berk." I shook my head, leaning it back against the couch with a slight huff, as she poked my stomach.
"What in the hell is a berk?" She asked, making me chuckle for some reason or another. I brought a hand up to rub my face as she continued to prod at my gut.
"It's slang for idiot." I said, looking down at her, grabbing her finger, pulling it away from my stomach, before she could poke it again.
"And you couldn't have said idiot because?" She asked, propping her head up on her hand, digging her elbow into my leg.
I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time since the vampire movie started. "Because I didn't, I don't always think about it, when I talk, I've been trying to cut down on the slang, but sometimes I just can't help it, like when I was playing Beth, it was so hard not to slip into my accent and stuff, it's just second nature." I shrugged my shoulders, trying to ignore the twinge in my thigh from her elbow.
"Oh, well okay." She shrugged, before laying her head in my lap once more, facing the television. I sighed softly at the release in pressure, laying my head back again.
I wasn't sure how I didn't throw the lamb into the screen halfway through the movie, the fact that there was a vampire in leather, singing rock songs, was just too much. Somehow, I contained myself, even managing to stay away through the whole thing.
"How do you like that movie?" I asked as we got up from the couch. I cracked my back as she shrugged her shoulders at me, closing the pizza box. "I mean, it's just so..." I couldn't even think of a word, I just shuddered.
"I dunno, I loved the books and when the movies came out, I just watched them, I mean, you can't tell me that you didn't find Lestat hot, you have that thing for leather, I figured you would have liked it." She said, leading the way into the bedroom.
"I may like leather but that was just...painful." I shook my head, letting my hair down. I ran my fingers through it, before grabbing my toothbrush and toothpaste, heading for the bathroom.
"Let's agree to disagree, yeah?" She asked, as she stood next to me, putting some toothpaste on her brush.
I nodded my head as brushed my teeth, mentally singing the ABCs, before spitting out the foam and restarting, doing it a total of four times, before I rinsed the toothbrush and then my mouth.
I smiled at my reflection, before leaning over and kissing her cheek, padding back into the bedroom, crawling into the bed. I curled up on my side, facing her side of the bed, waiting until she was finished.
"Be my little spoon?" I asked, smirking as I quoted Alex Vause, I had recently started watching Orange is the New Black and I couldn't resist.
"And you say I'm the dork." She chuckled, laying her glasses on the bedside table, before crawling in next to me. She rolled onto her side, letting me wrap my arms around her, pulling her close, kissing the back of her neck.
"You are a dork, but you're my dork, so it's okay." I chuckled softly, squeezing her gently.
"Mm, I suppose I'll allow that, seeing as you called me yours." I could almost hear the smile in her voice as she laid her hands over mind, stroking her fingers over the backs of my hands. "I love you, you silly little punk rocker." She giggled softly.
"I love you too, even if you can't think of cooler things to call me." I let out a soft, contented sigh, kissing her shoulder, before closing my eyes, burying my nose in her hair.
"I'll work on it, okay?" She mumbled, the last thing I heard before I drifted off, completely relaxed and comfortable.
"I dunno, Ali, do you really think she'll like it.." I asked as I ran my fingers over the velvet box. I could hear her fingers tapping against the wheel as I leaned back against the seat, looking out the window.
"Sarah, you're asking the woman to marry you, honestly, I'm sure you could give her a plastic ring and she would be excited." She snapped, making me winced a bit, my fingers stilling against the box.
"Ali..you didn't have to come with me, you know that right." I said softly, biting my lip as I glanced over at her. She had the wheel in a white knuckled grip, her jaw set as she glared at the road in front of us.
"I know, but you two are like my sisters, this is the kind of things we should be doing together, not illegal stuff, or fighting for our lives..normal family stuff." She nodded her head, almost like she was trying to convince herself why she really came.
"You need to talk about it..about her." I said softly, lifting my hand to touch her, but I thought better of it, settling for turning the radio down.
"Why, she's gone, it's not worth dragging up." She said, though I could catch the catch in her voice.
"Just because she's gone, doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about her, I know you loved..love her, talking helps, I never wanted to talk about Cosima dying and look where that got me." I said, thinking back to the night I attempted to drink my troubles away, almost dying when I tried to walk home, Felix played therapist until Cosima got better.
"I'm not like you, Sarah, I'm not strong, I...can't" She said softly, a soft sob escaping her lips as she pulled into a parking lot.
I sighed softly, unbuckling, before getting out. Her head was leaned against the wheel when I opened the door, her shoulders heaving as she cried. "Let it out, Ali." I said softly, unbuckling her, pulling her into a hug.
She clung to me as she cried, leaving wet spots along my collar. I ran my fingers through her hair, squeezing her gently as I murmured. "Alison, you have no idea how strong you really are, you've held it in and dealt with it all by yourself and you think you have to, but you don't Cos, Felix and I are all here for you, you don't have to feel alone."
It took a while, but she calmed down enough to look up at me, a sad little smile on her face. "Thank you.." She sniffed, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "I was going to leave Donnie, you know, I had it all planned out and everything, and then you showed up and she was gone and I just..I threw away the note and drank away the misery." She shrugged her shoulders, a slight laugh to her voice.
"I really am sorry, that you lost her, if I had known, if I had thought..I could have stopped her, but it was such a shock and..I froze and I feel so shitty about it..especially after I found out about everything, if I could go back..I would.." I said softly, a few tears slipping down my face.
"It's not your fault, she was dealing with so much and she wouldn't let us..me help and there was nothing any of us could do, I appreciate that..but if she hadn't done it then, who's to say she wouldn't have later..I just wish I could have said goodbye.."She whispered, clutching at the sleeves of her blue hoodie.
I shook my head, reaching out to dry her face, before wiping my own, biting my lip gently. "That's her jacket, isn't it, I remember it from that video of her." I murmured, getting her to stop digging her nails into her palm.
"Yeah..no one but you has ever found out or asked..she gave it to me, the last night we spent together, she told me it was her favorite jacket, so it was only right..that she gave it to her favorite person.." Her voice got progressively more shaky as she finished the sentence, until she was crying once more.
"Oh, Ali.." I murmured, hugging her again. I let her calm down, humming softly as I rubbed her bag. "She loved you so much..you know that, right? She just wasn't strong enough, she didn't leave because she wanted to, she left because she couldn't take all the crazy shit..and I really don't blame her, this is all so fucked..the only reason I'm still here is because of you all.."
I was crying too, as she clung to me, letting it all out. I could relate to how Beth must have felt, suicide had crossed my mind more than once, but I had Kira to think about and then I found myself falling in love and I couldn't bring myself to hurt them.
"Sarah...Sarah wake up.." Cosima said, loud enough to stir me from the memory. I could feel that my cheeks were damp, I must have been crying in my sleep. "Sarah, what's wrong?" She asked as I sat up, sniffing.
"Just a dream..well a memory actually." I said softly, wiping my face with my hands, running one through my hair. "Um, when you were in the hospital, Ali and I went shopping and she got all emotional and kind of had a break down, I mean it was my fault, but she finally started talking about Beth and it was just..really sad." I shrugged my shoulders, sniffing again, my gaze glancing over at the window.
It was just barely light out, as the sun tried to climb up the horizon. "Oh..that would have me crying too.." She said softly, reaching out for my hand.
I let her take it, intertwining our fingers, as she squeezed gently. I thought about the box, that was tucked away in our bag and how I couldn't wait, life was so short and I had had the ring for a good month and a half now, it was time.
"Hang on, just one second." I murmured, letting her hand go, giving her a reassuring smile, before making my way over to our half unpacked bag. I rummaged around, until I found it, wrapped up in one of my socks and pulled it out, fingering the velvet like I had the first day.
I kept it out of sight as I climbed back into bed, sitting across from her. "Cosima, these last few months have been enlightening and terrifying and so fucking confusing, but among all of the shit that's happened, at least I got to meet you and fall in love with you." I said softly, laying the box on my thigh.
I could hear her soft gasp, as I continued on. "For awhile, I thought for sure I was going to lose you, so when I went out and bought this, it was my last hope, I thought that maybe if I decided on this huge commitment, that karma would spare me a few points and let me keep you and I think it worked, but I was still too scared to give it to you, but now.." I paused, looking up at her, seeing the dazzling look in her eyes.
"Life is too short, to be afraid, and even though everything is still pretty fucked..life would be a whole lot easier to go through, if I had you by my side..so." I lifted the top, watching the sunlight dance across the delicate pink stone. "Cosima Niehaus, will you marry me?" I asked, pulling the ring out of the box as I looked up at her.
She wore a smile that made the stars dim in comparison and even with the tears that were threatening to spill over, she looked more beautiful than the brightest sunrise. "Yes.." She whispered, as I grinned.
I pulled the ring out of the box, sliding it onto her finger, before pulling her close, kissing her softly as her tears dripped onto our cheeks. "I love you so much..the ring is so beautiful and I just..you are so perfect." She murmured as she looked at the stone, her gaze switching from it to me and back again.
"I love you too." I kissed the top of her head, my chest swelling with a happiness I couldn't begin to describe. "The stone is called kunzite, I found it when I was searching through gemstone meanings." I blushed a bit, biting my lip "It's meaning is eternal love and I thought that it was fitting, because no matter what happens, to either of us, I'll love you forever and ever."
Sorry..not sorry, oh my god I cried so hard writing the dream and then again with the proposal and ugh! Thanks for reading!