I bite my nails nervously as I look at the two men, both still unconscious the next day. I rock back and forth.

"Nhg... What do I do... Wait..." A more pressing matter comes to mind - facilities. I flush bright red. "No no no... Don't think about this now!" I tell myself as I cover my face.

James was crouched in a corner, cuddling a bottle of booze as he hiccuped in his sleep.

Tiffany is laying on his... Her... Whatever... Side, sucking... It's thumb. It is also making rather sensual noises in It's sleep, as in moaning and such. "J-James! Not there...this is... Too much..." It starts to snore once again.

James scowled as he started awake. "How the hell did I end up here" he muttered between swigs of booze.

"Jonathan... He-he kicked you down the stairs... He started a mutiny!" I look him over. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I say with the tone of a concerned mother.

Tiffany starts to yell. "JAMES! PLEASE! I'M ABOUT TO EXPLOODEEEE!"

"... Hold that thought, sir."

I sigh and walk over to... It.

"Tiffany..." I tap it's shoulder lightly.

It is a rather deep sleeper, and continues It's really odd and perverted dream. "Please be gentle with my lady parts. They're rather delicate you know."

I pull back, rather disgusted, before trying again, but a bit harsher.

It's eyes flutter open in the most unladylike way possible. "Eh..? WH-WHAAT?! Why isn't the captain on top of me?!" It sees the very person it is talking about. "Oh...hello." It waves, fluttering It's fingers innocently.

I sigh in disgust. "... Well, we're all locked in here and Jonathan is taking over the ship. What do you propose that we do about that?"

"Whashappenin...?" he slurred drunkenly.

"Mutiny, eh?" Tiffany scoffs and stands up, straightening it's pants as if it were a skirt. "Not a problem. Fetch me a sword! There should be one here somewhere..."

"Tiffany, we have to get out of the cell first..." I state bluntly.

"Which is why I need a sword!" It yells, with an insane gleam in It's eyes.

"There isn't a sword inside the cell..." I yank the bottle away from the ca- former captain. "We have this, though..."

"Now how do you suppose I am to pick a lock with that?" Tiffany scowls. A lady, but a warrior. That is what it must think of itself.

I sigh. "Well we don't have a sword, do we?" I smash the glass against the bars, pick up a thin piece of broken glass, going to work on the lock.

Eventually, I cut my hand. I wince and tears brim my eyes.

Tiffany is preoccupied with staring at James and admiring his masculinity.

"Hey whyd ya steal ma booze?!" James stood shakily and wound up falling over.

"James, calm down... I was trying to pick a lock... You need to sober up anyways..." I walk over to him.

"I wan' ma booze" he complained and stroked my leg gently. "S-so soft..."

I back away a little bit as it continues to watch. "N-not now, James..." Drops of blood fall to the ground.

He grinned a bit. "Psh nows the besstimeee" he slurred and fixed himself so he could cuddle my leg.

"N-no it's not!" I protest.

"Captain! What about meeeeee?!" Tiffany exclaims, glomping him.

"Eh...?" He shook tiffany off. "Thorry..." He grinned "I'm not gayyyy..." He cuddles me some more.

I hold my hand, which continues to bleed.

"Exactly! Allow me to carry your children!" It still believes it is a woman.

"Heh... Yer bleeden eh?" He gently licks the blood away and looks at Tiffany. "Butcha gotta dick" he pointed out.

I blush when he licks my hand. "What are you doing?"

"Cleanin the blood" he hiccuped.

"Captain! I am a lady!" Tiffany scoffs. "Be that way. None of you are receiving my assistance, and against Jonathan and the crew, you're going to need it..."

"Well sorrreee but i dont swing that way" he hiccuped again and threw up on me.

I kick him off of me. "You're absolutely disgusting!" I walk to Tiffany. "I'm sorry that he's like this... I think you're a lady." I try to butter... him? Her? Up.

James yelped and chuckled. "I like em feisty..."

Tiffany rolls its eyes, and takes the shards of glass. It manages to unlock the door to the cell. It grabs a sword and looks it over. "It'll have to do...come now! Let's mutinize the mutineers!" It glares at James.

He stood and lazily followed stealing the booze lying in the hallway.

I sigh and cover my chest uncomfortably. Having just a few see me in this ridicules getup was enough...

"I need you two to cover me for a moment," Tiffany says, running off and disappearing.

"Get me some clothes while you're at it!" I pout as Tiffany runs off. I take the bottle out of the drunken man's hand. "You don't need any more of this." I smash it on the ground. "It turns even the most respectable of men into vile creatures unworthy of any pleasure of the world. It makes you immoral and brash... Also you soiled me far worse then I already was!" I put my hands on my hips.

About fifteen minutes later, gunfire can be heard. Fast gunfire. Impossibly fast.

"What on earth?!" I drag the half-awake James behind the changing curtain.

Tiffany is welding a mini gun, and firing warning shots into the air at at barrels and such. "I would really hate to have to find a new crew, boys! What a shame...you're all quite handsome!" It yells.

I peek from behind the curtain. "In all heavens blazing..." My eyes widen. "I wish I could do that..."

Tiffany fires close to Jonathan - a bit too close for comfort. It looks calm and composed for once, with a killing machine in It's hands.

I yelp and pull the drunken man to my chest instinctively before blushing bright red. I look at the sexually confused man in awe. In this nature, his long hair flowing in the breeze, he looked almost... Natural?

"Now, mutineers...shall we unmutinize this ship?" It asks, "if you say no..." It looks at the minigun. "Either yes or yes."

Everyone looks around nervously. Everyone... Except Jonathan. I can hear his voice ring out in anger.

Tiffany pulls out a musket from seemingly nowhere, and shoots Jonathan with that. "James has to make me first mate after this..." It mutters.

I hear Jonathan laugh, a gunshot, then silence. I feel my eyes fill with tears. "H-he's dead..."

However, maybe he's not? Tiffany will let the captain take care of Jonathan, most likely. "Well? Back to work!" It yells.

James drunkenly stumbles upstairs. This is by far the worst I've seen him."Hehee" he stood up and grabbed his smashed bottle. "Y'know... They dun call me capain fer nuthin'!" he smashed the bottle over Jonathan's head before throwing him overboard.

"So? Am I first mate now? Pllleaaase can I be first mate!" Tiffany jumps up and down in excitement.

"Fiiine..." He grinned, "You earned it." he coughed up some more whiskey.

I cough after following you two up. "Can I please have something... Less slutty... To change into?"

He took off his surprisingly clean shirt an handed it to me.

"YES!" Tiffany glomps James. "Thank you~"

"Uhm..." He was starting to sober up and awkwardly patted her back.

"Just a shirt?! That would show more than I already am!"

He sighed. "Well I can't give you my pants, now can I?" He gestured to show that he had nothing on underneath his pants.

I smack him. "You are absolutely disgusting and repulsive!"

"Oi! Y-you know I don't usually..." He winced.

"How should I know?! I've barely let you touch me in the, what is it, four days I've been on your ship... KIDNAPPED, I might add?!"

Tiffany awkwardly backs away, and starts to yell at the crew.

"I'm not the one that kidnapped you, y'know! It wasnt my idea!" He yelled back, now completely sober.

"Yes it was, IMBECILE! I was your 21st birthday present?! Family tradition?! For your pleasure and enjoyment and whatnot?!"

"Yeah. Not. My. Idea." He protested. "And if I had been sober I would've never touched you!" He shouted.

"If you had been sober you would've... Uh..." I can feel myself losing the battle and I shut up. "James... What happened to you? It's obvious that this is how you drown your sorrow..." I put the shirt on over the slutty dress.

"N...Nevermind what happened to me. It's not important." He shook his head with a sigh. "Just... Booze is all I have at this point."

Tiffany shows up behind him unexpectedly, throwing It's arms around his neck. "You have mee, Captain!"

"U-uhm... I thought I told you I wasnt gay..."

"Even so, captain," it says. "First mate!... And friend?"

"Well yes. First mate and friend," He chuckled.

I cough, reminding them of my presence.

He sighed and stood up straight. "Alright. What do we do now...?"

"You're the Captain. You decide." I cuddle the shirt, still warm from his body.

He huffed softly "I don't remember what happened so I need to be told."

"There was a mutiny. You think my legs are soft. You're Captain again."

"Because of me!" Tiffany pipes in. The gun it used was rather advanced for the time.

"Alright then. Somebody head to the main deck to scope the area."

I look to Tiffany. "I'm not going out in this. I refuse."

"Alright then first mate. You go. I need to finish down there..."

He walks us back down to my cell.

I look him in the eyes as Tiffany leaves. "James, please tell me what happened..."

He sighed softly and sat down on the floor. "To put it bluntly my parents hated each other. My father beat my mother but would always say he loved her. I don't believe in love anymore. Not if its like that," he scowled. "I got into my fathers booze one day and it took away the pain. So I continued. It's gotten to the point where I can't live without it. The pain just comes right back..."

I sit next to him. "James..." I take his hand in mine. "That isn't love..."

"Well then... What is it..." He asked shyly as he looked down.

"You'll understand when you feel it."