Silence. The grass whispers my name. It's just another thing to haunt me, I've decided. An occasional owl hoots in the distance; the wind whistles a melancholy tune. The night is soundless and motionless otherwise.
I take an uneasy glance again to familiarize myself with a place that should be closest to my heart, and I wonder why it's always times like this that my memory slips away from me. Averting my gaze back to the silky still water of the pool that i now find my self sitting on the edge of, my legs swing back and forth in the ice cold water. It doesn't make a sound. My bare legs are pricked with pain from the sheer frozen feeling, and it only gets worse as it spreads up to my torso.
But at the same time, I don't feel anything.
From the corners of my vision, I see darkness. It starts to swallow me, engulfing my vision in pitch black. Darkness. I know this feeling; it's familiar.
I am now standing on soft, grainy sand, looking at the water. But this time, the water is vast. It laps my feet in small, hungry, waves. I see a boat in the far distance, and it gets smaller as it travels away. Away from me.
It's your fault.
A voice whispers, so far away, and I immediately recognize it with a bitter feeling.
I couldn't stand you anymore.
My fingers stab into curled fists with growing anger, and I turn away from the boat; it's far out of sight now.
You drove me away.
I look dully to the ground, my teeth clenching. The voice is closer.
I left for a reason.
My eyes squeeze shut. "Stop," I feel like shouting, but it comes out as a broken whisper.
I feel soft, taunting breath on my neck. I'm never coming back.
It's louder this time. "Stop it."
And suddenly, as if I'd said too much, the thought chases me. Darkness consumes me. I'm running, and I'm not even sure why. Any thoughts that previously pursued me shatter and leave a trail of broken glass behind me as I try to run from a fractured reality.
As I'm running, I feel a splinter stab the ball of my foot. It's Mahogany, the random awareness punctures like aching realization before i trip over the splintering pain.
And, just as the ground flies towards me like a camera with broken zoom, I'm gone.
Alone.
Darkness.
And although I can't see, or hear, or feel; I sense him.
His blue eyes that melt me. Chestnut hair that suits a beard a little too beautifully. A smile that can't be duplicated, not for the largest amount of red matter in the Universe. Dusty, dirty clothes that are only identifiable by a small square sloppily painted with orange. A faint scent of newly refurbished mahogany. He is here. So close, that I could reach out from where I am, and touch his face. Hold him.
But he's far gone. There is nothing I can do to bring him back. Not a whisper, nor a shout.
So I am alone. Again.
In the darkness, I suffocate. The air leaks from my lungs, but I make no sound.
And I right as I'm about to die, I feel his presence, and his fractured name falls in segments from my tear stained lips.
"Sjin...?"