Dear Readers,
I apologize now for not updating. I'm still not feeling the best, and sitting in front of the computer for any length of time brings on the migraine and makes my neck and back hurt. I plan on making an appointment with Ortho (and probably a neurologist) tomorrow to get looked at a bit more in depth. My car has now been assessed by my insurance company and $6,100.00 of damage was done, and the girl who hit me has NO insurance. If things don't come out the way I would like them to, I plan on suing her. I probably won't get anything from it, but at least she won't get to walk away scott free.
The only reason that this chapter is getting put up is because I had half of it written the day of the accident. It has taken me over five hours to put up the remaining 1200 words. I will try to work on CMC a bit tomorrow, but please understand that it will take me a good bit of time to get it done. Whereas I used to put up four chapters a weekend, I'm certain that number will now be one if any at all.
I'm not even sure where I am at on CMC, or what's going on in the story to be honest. This will be the time that I lean heavily on my notes and my beta's. This feels much like I did when I came back from Iraq with my head injury, my memory is even shorter than before and I have zero energy.
So it is my sincere hope that this chapter will tide you all over for a bit, and that I will be able to get out a chapter of CMC this weekend as well. If you have PM'ed me, please know that I whole heartedly appreciate it and will reply to each and every one of you as I can.
Thank you all for sticking by me and understanding, this is a very trying time for me as a person and as a writer.
Riain
Jenny knew something was wrong when she heard Merle's bike pull up. Something in her gut didn't sit right. She stepped out onto the porch, seeing Merle cradling a little girl against his chest. Jenny bounded down the steps, running up to the pair. Seeing the look in Merle's eyes told Jenny everything she needed to know. Allie's head lolled against Merle's hand, she was asleep.
"Poor thing cried herself to sleep against me on the way here. Scavengers broke into Natty's, she didn't make it. Made me promise to take care of her little girl. She's my blood Jenny, but he ain't going to go for it. Not yet at least. I need him to go with me and take care of things over at Natty's. I can't do it alone, can't raise her alone. She needs a momma damn it!" Merle blustered it all out at once, as he handed Allie over to Jenny.
"He's not going to take Natalie's death well, and he won't be in any mood to know he has a daughter. I'll take care of Allie; she's known me since she was a baby. He's out in the pasture with Danny hunting." Jenny cradled the girl to her own chest, feeling Allie's warm breath on her neck.
"We'll have to tell him eventually. But for now, that little girl is our top priority." Merle ran a beefy hand over Allie's hair, smoothing down the unruly dark brown fly-aways.
"Agreed. I'll take her in and get her in bed. You guys get it cleaned up over there and I'll take her home with Danny to get her things. We can salvage what we can of Natalie's; it'd be what she would want us to do." Jenny turned from Merle, taking Allie inside.
Merle headed off for the field, it wasn't long before he followed the blood trail that led him to the deer in the pasture. Squatting down, he pulled the bolt free from the chest cavity of the doe. He knew that bolt belonged to his brother, setting it aside. Merle ran his hands over the doe's neck, seeing the light dying in her eyes.
"Thank you girl, we sure appreciate the life you've given for us." Merle leaned close, murmuring in the ear twitching inches from his lips. With one fluid motion, he slit the doe's neck, ending her life. Merle was in the middle of field dressing her when Daryl and Danny came slinking out of the woods.
Merle glanced over the side of the deer as Daryl squatted down in front of him. "Thought you were going over to Natty's this morning? Everything alright over there?"
Merle tossed the guts into the hole Danny was quickly digging, wiping his hands on the grass. "We gotta go over there after we get the deer hung, supplies need to be got. You and me little brother. Danny, I want you to stay here with the women."
Daryl quirked an eyebrow at his older brother, not questioning what needed to be done. Supplies were always in high demand, and knowing Natalie like he did, Daryl knew there were things of worth over in the house. Merle hoisted the deer over his shoulders, walking towards the barn. Daryl followed close behind, with Danny on his heels. Between the three of them they got the deer hung in the barn and skinned. It just needed to cure overnight before they started quartering it out.
"Alright, Danny, I want you to stay in the house with the women. Daryl, you're with me. Let's get in the Jeep and get on over to Natalie's. We have a lot of work to get done over there before nightfall. Let's get our asses moving boys!" Merle barked out the orders, pleased to see both men step to purpose.
Daryl stepped up into the Jeep, stomping the clutch as Merle jumped in the passenger side. Merle could sense the tension rolling off Daryl, the Jeep humming down the country roads towards the Kendall farm. Daryl pulled into the barn lot, in the same place he always parked when at the farm. It was an unconscious habit, he didn't notice until Merle snorted getting out of the Jeep. Daryl kept his body loose, his pistol in his hand.
"What the hell happened here?" Daryl questioned Merle as his eyes raked over the body in the kitchen. The guy was missing half his face from a deer slug, a thick blood trail ran through the kitchen into the hallway. Merle dragged the body out the back door, into the pasture to rot.
Daryl followed the blood trail through the house, down into the basement that served as Roy Kendall's offices. Daryl knew this place well; he'd lived at this house for a period of time growing up, as well as being treated here often by Roy himself. Daryl stepped through the offices, coming to the last treatment room in the hallway. Rounding the corner into the room, Daryl sunk to his knees in the congealing pool of blood that Natalie's lifeless body sat in.
Wrapping her in his arms and pulling her into his chest, a strangled howl tore from Daryl's throat. Daryl saw the aged horseshoe nail ring on Natalie's finger. His mind flashed back to what was now so long ago, that warm spring evening in the kitchen upstairs.
Daryl had found Roy and Jean in the kitchen; Jean was setting the table as Roy made his evening cup of coffee. Natalie pulled against Daryl's grip, the determined look in his eyes made her stop sniffling as she faintly shook her head.
"Mr. Kendall, Mrs. Kendall, I need to ask you something." Daryl stood nervously in the kitchen holding Natalie's hand like a lifeline. She kept trying to pull out of his grip, but he held on that much harder.
Roy was the first to turn around, looking at the scene unfolding in front of him, wondering why his daughter was crying and why Daryl had a determined look on his face.
"What's on your mind son? You know you can come to us with anything." Roy set his coffee cup down, leaning against the counter as his wife gathered under his arm.
"Well Sir, you know me and Natalie have been together a long time, and we spend a lot of time together here. You've treated me like family and that means a lot to me. I'm wondering if you would be so kind as to give me your blessing to marry your daughter. I know I ain't got much to give her, but I'll treat her right and be faithful to her." Daryl released the breath he had been holding, watching the expression flitting across Jean's face, tears forming in her eyes.
"Well son, I think that's a fine idea. Jean and I weren't much older than you two when we got married. Yes, you can marry Natalie." Roy walked over to Daryl, who stuck his hand out. Instead Roy pulled the scared young man into his chest, hugging him tightly. The small act of kindness startled Daryl as he stood still in Roy's arms.
Daryl turned to Natalie, reaching in the pocket of his jeans and knelt down on one knee on the kitchen floor. Daryl held up a ring made out of a horseshoe nail, it wasn't much, but he formed it with his own two hands, that meant more to him than any ring he could ever buy her.
"Natalie Jean Kendall, would you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?" Daryl's heart hammered in his chest as he looked up in her eyes, tears still very much apparent. He didn't know what he would do if she said no, he hadn't planned that far ahead yet, and with her revelation tonight, it made it just that more right.
Natalie wiped her eyes before nodding her head, "Yes Daryl Wade Dixon, I'll marry you." Daryl slid the ring onto her finger as he stood, pulling her into his arms, kissing her gently on the lips.
Tears fell down Daryl's cheeks, his brain filling with thoughts of what could have been, what he should have done and what he needed to do now.
"I shoulda went to you for help instead of Merle. I coulda got you to come with me, and you'd still be alive. Or I coulda stayed here with you and protected you. I failed ya Natty." Daryl tore himself apart out loud, not realizing that Merle was standing behind him.
Merle reached out to grab his brother's shoulder, Daryl sensed the motion. His body moved under its own volition, as his fist connected with Merle's jaw. Merle's head jerked to the left, Daryl seething anguish.
"What the fuck you do that for Darylina?" Merle growled, taking a look at his brother's tear stained face. His heart sank seeing the pain in his brother's eyes, a part of him died in that moment. "Fuck. I'm sorry Daryl." Merle hated seeing Daryl like this, this wasn't Daryl he knew.
"We ain't doing nothing till we bury her. It's what she deserves." Daryl choked out the words, seeing Merle nod gravely.
"Alright. It's the least we can do for her, for all she's done for us. I'll take her." Merle offered before seeing Daryl shake his head before lifting Natalie into his arms.
"No. I got her. Just go get some shovels out of the barn." Daryl carried Natalie up the steps and out to the Jeep. He laid her carefully across the backseat, before he took up the driver's seat.
Merle tucked the shovels in the tailgate, noticing Daryl in the driver's seat. He knew better than to say anything else to his brother, with his emotions so raw. Daryl fired the Jeep up, turning around and heading out to the county road.
Merle knew where they were going, there was only one place Daryl would want Natalie buried. He wasn't surprised when they pulled up outside the small town cemetery. Merle looked through the headstones, seeing the one for his parents and the one for Natalie's parents.
Daryl knelt down, gently laying Natalie next to her parent's headstone. He took a deep breath as he glanced at the small stone between Natalie's parents and her older brother, Ryan. It had been a long time since he had last been in the cemetery, easily before the world went to hell. He ran his hand lovingly over the stone, as Merle grunted digging the shallow grave.
Daryl took up a shovel of his own, helping his brother dig. The afternoon heat was sweltering, sweat formed on Daryl's arms as his body worked digging the hole.
"You alright baby brother?" Merle pressed carefully, knowing Daryl needed to get it out. Natalie was a friend to Merle, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he was sad to see her gone.
Daryl nodded, "Yeah. I'll be okay." Daryl didn't want to let Merle in on the past he missed being locked up. Knowing Merle like he did though, he knew Merle would continue to ask. "Shoulda made her come back with you."
Merle sighed, "She wasn't willing to. Told me to tell you she loved you before she died in my arms." Merle saw Daryl's shoulders sag, and heard the sucked back sob.
"She was my fiancée'. Mighta well as been my wife when we were kids. That's our son buried here. That's why I wanted her buried here, with our son and her folks." Daryl fought to get the words out, knowing it was the truth in his heart. Daryl slipped the horseshoe nail ring off Natalie's finger, tucking it into the chest pocket of his shirt. Daryl brushed Natalie's hair from her face, lightly kissing her forehead before lowering her into the grave.
Merle continued to fill in the grave, watching Daryl walk away towards the Jeep. Now he knew what Natalie meant to Daryl, it all made sense how Allie was his. Merle packed the last of the dirt down, before turning to leave.
There was a little girl back at Jenny's that needed her uncle if she couldn't have her father.