A/N Sorry about the wait, I am pretty busy with school and life. Just so everyone knows, Myra never dealt with her problems. She kind of just brushes them aside or buries them in her mind, which is why she is so out of it. I apologize if the story isn't to everyone's likings, but I'd love to hear the feed back from everyone who likes or doesn't like that story. Review please :)
If it was not for my mother's gentle personality, perhaps my reactions would have been different. Maybe if she was a different person, and I was raised different I would have punched those kids out, but I wasn't and I didn't. I was raised to accept others for who they are, my mother would always say "things are rough all around."
In the beginning, I did not mention school, not the first day. Not the second, third or fourth. Usually, I excelled in school but she got the hint that I did not like school. "Myra, is everything alright?" My mother asked one night from the kitchen where she was cooking.
She was getting soup ready for me, she had to go to work. My gaze met her blue eyes, but not for long. I did love my mom, but is this the only way she could provide for us? People always said I was just like her, so am I going to entertain men naked for money too? "Myra Jane Parkinson!" Her voice is stern this time, and when our eyes meet again I can see the determination in her expression. My eyes could not leave her gaze.
"I went in to speak with your teacher today." She continued when I didn't reply. "She said that you stand off against the wall during recess, and during lunch you try to stay indoors... I thought you loved running and playing with the children?" Her big blue eyes were full of worry now, her foot slightly stepped towards me and her hand on her heart. She was hurt, but so was I.
"The children at school don't want to play with me because they say you're a stripper." The smell of burnt soup filled the kitchen and dining room area, but I didn't say another word until my mother ran her hand through her nicely done hair, "They said I'm a whore." Looking back, I know that my mother had a loss of words. Who wouldn't? My mother had her eleven year old daughter come back from school almost a completely different person because of her job. I don't blame her, but back then I did. Back then, I blamed her for a lot.
She hugged me gently for a couple minutes, telling me everything was going to be okay and she would talk to my teacher. That wasn't what I wanted her to do, but it was hopeless trying to change her mind. It wasn't long before she had to leave, and I was alone in our new house for the night, again. The next morning she kept me from school because she wanted the teacher to "inform the other children of their rude behaviour" and I thought it would work, even though I would rather move to my old house. The following day, I still did not wish to return to the school, but my mother forced me to. Everything was good when the teachers were around, but the confrontation on made things much worse.
With a loud gasp, I sprung out of my bed, gripping my hair, then my chest to realize where I was and what year it was. It was only a dream, but they always feel so real. My hands went back to my curly brown hair to gently move it out of my eyes and peel the wet hairs from my sweaty forehead. The day after my mom called in to the teacher, the girls pretended to be my friend. They were playing hair dresser, I was the one who got that crappy hair cut and got thrown out of the store. The thought made me shudder and I can't take my hands off my hair.
After realizing it was all a dream, I sat on my old childhood bed and look around the room. There was not much different about the room except there was more junk in boxes in here. She either didn't want to change my room around because she missed me or she just never got around to it, but I will pretend it was because she missed me. It took me a while to realize I did miss her, but I didn't miss La Push one bit. These nightmares that have been plaguing me only began since I've had to come back here. The fact that she was in Forks hospital was a relief. There was a smaller chance of running into people I went to school with, who knows if they would recognize me or even remember me.
Slowly but surely I woke up and got ready to start my day. There was not much food in the fridge which meant I would need to grab some food from the store and I also needed to make an appointment with the lawyer. "Hello?" Replied the person on the other end of the phone. "Hi, this is Myra Parkinson." I quickly answered after her response.
I was antsy, I did not want to speak on the phone with anyone. Being in La Push just seemed to be making me depressed, the house bringing back memories of my mother and childhood. I wanted my mother to come home so I could take care of her and leave when she was better. "Hello? Ms. Parkinson?" I heard the voice repeating my name in the phone. "Yeah, sorry," I sighed, "When could we meet to discuss the matters of my mother?"
"Today would be perfect, we could meet at the cafe, south of the local grocery store in La Push." The woman on the phone sounded like she was in a hurry. "That's great, what time?"
"How about at eleven?" I quickly said yes and hung up the phone. The fridge needed to be filled, going to the cafe would be a good idea for some breakfast and then going to the grocery store would be perfect. My eyes drifted over to the clock when I realized eleven o' clock was only thirty minutes from now. "Looks like I'm not taking a shower." I mumbled to myself, throwing my hair up into a hair tie as I walked up the stairs to get changed.
My wool sweater hung loose on my body, but my jeans hugged my legs and ass quite nicely. Personally, I don't believe in getting ready to go out anywhere unless it's a nice dinner or another special occasion. I hit the showers, throw my hair up and I am good to go. "Wow, you look so similar to your mother." This was the greeting from the lawyer.
"Thanks," I paused, plopping my buttocks in the booth in front of the lawyer. I didn't want to beat around the bush. I wanted to spend as much time with my mom as I could, "So what is the deal?"
"To the point, I like that." She grinned, looking at her cellphone. "I'm Ms. Carter, in case you were wondering. Anyway, this is just a precaution, obviously. There is that chance of your mother passing away, and in the death of her late husband, everything she has left him will also go to you."
"Husband? They weren't married." I was now staring the lawyer directly in the eyes, almost not wanting to hear what she had to say next.
Before she could reply the door to the cafe was flung open, causing the bells on the door to jingle louder than normal, "Clearwater, you better hurry up!" A man's voice shouted from behind the counter, in the kitchen.
Suddenly, there was a twisting sensation in my stomach and my blue eyes meeting with the tanned girl rushing to get behind the counter. The twists in my stomach made a loud gurgling sound and I quickly looked away from what appeared to be Leah Clearwater, one of those girls that ruined my hair and childhood. Clearing my mind and taking a deep breath would be the best way to handle this situation, but my body had a mind of its own, and so did my mind. "Sweetheart, are you alright?" The lawyer was waving her hand in front of my face. "I didn't know you weren't aware of their marriage."
I jerked my head away from her hand and stared at her with a scowl. My body now felt exhausted and in need for sleep, my appetite was gone and I had just decided on what I was going to order. Nothing sounded appetizing anymore. "Hi there, I'm Leah and I will be your server for the day, sorry about that wait. Have you decided what I can get for you?" Once more, my eyes met Leah's, only this time I knew this was the girl who tormented me.
As quick as my body could move, I was out of the cafe, knocking my glass over water over and nearly tripping while opening the door. Everyone could see me through the glass door, but I couldn't do this right now. I ran to the grocery store that was on the same block as the cafe and stood out front for a couple minutes.
Inside of the grocery store hasn't changed one bit, even the cashiers looked the same for the most part. Not wanting to deal with my feelings, I just silenced my thoughts and began to think of happy things like puppies and squirrels. While standing in line, I remained silent, and peered around the store until I found a couple women standing near the exit, "Come on! Paul!" The girl whined, then whispered something to the friend she was with. "Paul!" She screamed again.
My eyes followed her gaze until I saw a man who stood taller than six foot, but I couldn't quite tell from the distance. He was huge either way, not just in height, but his muscles were chiseled and defined. Even though it was freezing outside, Paul was sporting a tight black t-shirt that hugged his arms and nicely shaped body. He was too far for me to make out his facial features, but if I was correct, that was Paul Lahote, another person I didn't want to see. Although, he is nice to stare at, even if he was the reason for all that bullying. My eyes lids shut tight as I tried to come back to reality, and remove myself from the situation, knots were forming in my stomach again.
"How will you be paying Miss?" I heard the cashier's voice ring in my ears and I raised my eyes brows at her, slowly pulling out my wallet. She must think I'm a moron, everyone I've seen today must think I'm some kind of psycho who lives in her own world.
Handing the money to her, I looked back over at Paul and stared for a few seconds before adverting my gaze back to the women he knew. When I did, both of their eyes were on me. My gaze met the woman who was calling out to him, her friend whispering something in her ear and laughing quietly. A sigh escaped my lips as I took my change from the cashier and began throwing my items into a reusable bag. When everything was packed I looked back at the women, and they were still staring and smiling at me. I slowly walked towards the exit, adjusting my eyes ever so often so I was looking at them, then back to the floor, then back at them. I was nervous, what if everyone knew I was back and was going to harass me some more.
As quick as I was in there, I was out. I stood in front of the grocery store and stared at the cafe that my car was parked at. Well, my mother's car. "May as well start walking." I whispered to myself, making a small stride in the direction my car was in. "Hey!" I spun around on my heels and saw the two girls hanging off Paul's arms, one on each. "If you look at my boyfriend again, I'll personally take out your eyes."
I stared at her, then at the other girl and finally, against my will but I couldn't control myself, I looked at Paul. Everything seemed to stop at that moment, his stoic face seemed to become less tense and brighter than before. His lips parted, showing his pale white teeth against his dark, russet skin tone, he was a handsome man, and I was drawn to him. Paul jerked forward, both his arms free from the women on his arms and he must have stepped forward, but there was a loud sound that began piercing my ears. It was the horn of two cars that were stopped in the parking lot because I was standing in the middle of a driving area.
I stepped backwards a couple steps, tripping, but catching myself. My eyes met Paul's dark brown ones, and I stared, hard, turning into a harsh glare. A scowl sliding across my lips, without warning. A shiver went down my spine as Paul kept my gaze, I could see the confusion on the women's faces in my peripherals. The saliva builds up in my mouth as this point was sickening to me, it had to be from seeing Paul, although so handsome he made me think of my tormented past. I spit in front of me, still staring at Paul before quickly turning away and running towards my car without a word.
"Visiting hours are over Miss, you will have to leave." The woman at the front desk of Forks Hospital said. After my encounter at the grocery store I spent an hour driving to Forks and another hour just sitting in front of the hospital in my car, thinking. "Please, you don't understand, I was held up and I have to speak with Carlisle about my mother." I watched her walk away from the desk in silence.
I stood in the waiting room at the hospital, waiting for the woman to come back to the desk with Doctor Cullen, but instead it was some other woman. "She won't listen to me." She said to her, the supervisor gave me a dirty look. Just as she was going to speak, Jessica walked by and called my name. "I was wondering if you were coming today, come on, I'll take you to your mother."
Today simply was not my day. "She's awake." Let me take back that statement, this makes the day worth it now. A little bit more anyway. "Just let me know if you need anything." With that, Jessica left.
"Mom." I sat on the bed, I could feel her leg against my side and it was heartwarming. Earlier, I was so angry at her for not telling me about the marriage, but how could she have told me. We never spoke, and it was all my fault. "I'm sorry." I whispered.
"Honey, no." She spoke in a hushed, and raspy tone that broke my heart. "I didn't do what I should have in that situation. I had you deal with it alone."
Who would have thought that this area in the world would be the place where I felt all my pain. When I lived with my father, he always made sure things were alright and school was going fine. There were no kids that were schooled with me, because it was from home, but he made sure I did the work. My mother was just so busy and struggled so often. Her and I talked for five minutes before her heart monitor began going off. The nurses came in and told me that it was best if I let her rest for the remainder of the night. "I'm sorry, but maybe it's best if you go home and go to sleep." Jessica suggested, "It doesn't look like you've gotten much sleep."
I stared at her for about a minute before walking passed her and going to sit in my car. For the next ten minutes, I sat in the car staring into space. I flipped down the mirror and looked into it, a tear sliding down my cheek. With my hand, I slapped the mirror shut as more tears rolled down my cheeks. I cried for my mother, about everything that happened today. I just cried, like that baby I am.