Doofenshmirtz's first thought was wet.
Water completely surrounded him. A fish swam lazily by.
"Where are we?" Phineas asked, tugging on Doofenshmirtz's lab coat. At least Doofenshmirtz thought he was Phineas. He had trouble telling the two boys apart. They were probably twins. "And why are we breathing underwater?"
"Where's the other one?" Doofenshmirtz asked.
"Ferb? He's over there."
Ferb was sitting on a rock, patting a fish.
Okay. At least the kids weren't scared. That made two of them.
"Let's try not to panic." Doofenshmirtz said.
"I'm not panicking." Phineas said. "Ferb, are you panicking?"
Ferb shook his head.
"Perry will get us out." Phineas said.
"Good. So I guess… we just wait for him." Doofenshmirtz said.
They floated for a while.
"It takes him like two seconds to blow up my inators." Doofenshmirtz griped. "Why are we not out of here?"
"He'll have to figure out how to reverse the machine." Phineas said.
"Guess what kind of fish that is." Ferb said, pointing at a fish with spines.
"Could it be a buh-lowfish?" Phineas asked.
"Buh-lowfish!" Ferb said.
They burst into laughter.
Doofenshmirtz wished he knew what they were talking about so that he could laugh and not be worried, too.
"Have you guys ever gotten stuck in something like this before?" He asked.
"Nah." Phineas said.
Doofenshmirtz tried to swim over to the boys, but it was difficult to do with one arm.
"Perry will help us." Phineas said.
"Swim!" Ferb suddenly said.
"Why?" Asked Phineas.
Ferb pointed, and Phineas and Doofenshmirtz turned.
A whole mob of people were floating towards them, their eyes glowing blue, their bodies a purple shadow. One of the shadows looked like his brother. Another, his daughter Vanessa.
"Is that mom?" Phineas asked. "And dad and Candace?"
One of the shadows was wearing a shadowy baseball cap. It opened its mouth, revealing sharp teeth.
"Well, this is weird." Phineas said. "Paul, why do you have pointy teeth? And why are you all dark?"
Ferb tugged on Phineas and pulled him away. The shadows began to roar.
"I think they're dangerous." Phineas whimpered.
Ferb tugged harder.
"Guys, I can't exactly swim." Doofenshmirtz said. The shadowy Vanessa was starting to creep him out. It was like a really, really angry Vanessa.
Ferb grabbed Doofenshmirtz's good arm and kicked forward. Doofenshmirtz was amazed with the kid's strength.
"Ferb…" Phineas said. "They're coming."
Doofenshmirtz snuck a look behind him. The shadows were swimming after them.
"I don't think I've ever seen Isabella look so malevolent." Phineas said. "Hey, Jeremy's eyes look kind of normal. If his entire retina was his eye."
"I don't… want to know!" Ferb huffed.
The blowfish was swimming ahead of them.
"Ferb, I think buh-lowfish is trying to show us something."
Ferb nodded.
The blowfish swam on.
"Ferb, I think we're supposed to turn-"
"I've got this!"
"Ferb, there's a wall there."
"I've GOT this!"
Doofenshmirtz was a little doubtful. The kid had a crazy, determined look in his eyes now, and he was swimming rapidly toward the rocky wall.
The blowfish began to puff itself up. It blasted toward a small hole in the side of the wall.
"Ferb…" Phineas said. "Ferrrb…"
"HUSH!"
The blowfish smashed into the hole and turned its body like a little key. A door in the wall opened up. Doofenshmirtz, Phineas and Ferb fell into a stone room.
A clicking noise sounded, and the door they had come in through closed up just as one of the shadows tried to enter.
The boys were hacking up water.
"Well." Doofenshmirtz said. "How could this day get any weirder?"
...
"Reverse that thing NOW." Perry growled.
"No." Damien said.
"FINN!" Malice was yelling. "FINICKY, WHERE ARE YOU?"
"I can't reverse it." Damien said. "It destroys my enemies. So whoever or whatever those things were that got sucked in are most likely gone."
Perry's heart fell and dissolved in the pit of his stomach. He collapsed to the ground and sobbed.
"Pitiful." He heard Damien say without the slightest tone of pity.
Perry didn't care at all. Everything he cared about was gone. He clawed into the asphalt, trying to make it break. It needed to hurt as badly as he did.
"Pitiful, is it?" Prince's voice retorted. Perry hardly heard her limping closer to them over his howls. "How about fleeing from your gang and leaving them to die in a fight like YOU, Damien? I find that much more pitiful."
"Go run back to your little puppy friend, Princess." Damien spat. "Before I decide that your face would look better backwards."
"You're a coward."
"I'll tell you what a coward is. Someone who lies around crying their eyes out instead of fighting! All because he depended on measly little humans. Were those humans your owners, platypus? That's why you don't get attached to humans. They're just selfish creatures who spend all their time 'creating' and 'innovating' and 'finding themselves' and 'inventing the future'. Ironic how with their thirst for knowledge, they grow up to be so stupid that they get sucked into a weapon a lizard could operate-"
Perry threw Damien against the wall of a pet store, slamming him so hard a couple of rocks fell down from the roof. Perry punched him as hard as he could.
"Stop it, both of you, STOP IT!" Prince shouted. She shoved Malice away from her and limped over to Perry. "CUT IT OUT! He could really hurt you! Reptiles are different than…"
Damien gave Perry a hard kick. Perry flew back and hit the ground, gasping in pain.
Damien was holding his arm. He was badly bruised, but he didn't look as though he was seriously injured.
Perry stood up and lunged at Damien, who saw the attack coming and grabbed him, pinning his arms behind his back. Perry then felt something cold and hard pressing against his temple.
"Don't move." Damien said in an icy tone.
Perry froze. Prince had held a gun to him many times before, but he knew she wouldn't shoot him unless he provoked her.
Damien, however, seemed ready to fire.
"If ANYONE here moves, he gets it." Damien said.
Everyone became still, making the night seem much darker than it already was.
"Here's what's going to happen." Damien said slowly. "You will ALL join the Darkness and allow me to take complete charge of you. Or his brains are history."
The Royal Guard members looked at Prince.
"Let him go, Damien." Prince said, her voice shaking. "I'm warning you."
"That's not really your place to tell me who to let go, is it?" Damien said. "I'm holding a gun to him. All I have to do is one quick finger movement, and he is gone."
Prince swallowed.
"We really have no choice here-" Malice began.
"Shut it." Prince hissed at him. She held onto his shoulder for support.
"I'll give you five seconds before-" Damien began.
Then he stopped. He was looking off into the distance.
Perry looked too.
A mesmerizing pink light was floating towards them. It was getting closer.
Damien's grip on Perry relaxed. He dropped the gun.
Sneakers floated up to them and landed at Damien's feet. She blinked at him.
"Oh…" Damien breathed.
"It's… it's beautiful." Malice said.
Sneakers sat down and began to chew on her paw.
Damien walked over to the weapon, picked it up, and set it down in front of her. He set his gun in front of her, too.
"Those are yours." He said.
Malice handed Sneakers his fingerless gloves. Tesla gave her a woven bracelet.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" Damien asked Sneakers. "Anything you want. Any price range. Anything."
Sneakers yawned.
"A bed. A bed. I'm on it."
Damien went running off towards the furniture store.
"Nice job, Sneaks." Perry said, patting her on the head.
The Royal Guard members started off to their hideout to gather more possessions for Sneakers.
"Better get the innocent people powering that thing outta there." JD said, pointing at the machine.
"Right." Perry said, his heart suddenly feeling heavy again.
Sneakers cuddled up to Prince.
Perry opened up the right side of the weapon and rewired the power system. He then switched it on.
Loads of people came spitting out of the machine, looking slightly disheveled and confused.
Perry saw Linda and Lawrence and Candace standing together, trying to figure out where they were. Vanessa Doofenshmirtz was looking around for a familiar face. Baljeet, Buford and Monogram were brushing themselves off.
The streetlamps came back on. Light flooded through the city.
Royal Guard cheered.
Perry sat down on the ground and stared straight ahead, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.
A tiny paw set itself on his leg. Sneakers climbed into his lap.
Perry stroked her absent-mindedly.
"Perry! We saw a blowfish!"
"Buh-lowfish!"
Why did his memories hate him? His head was taunting him, playing back the sounds of Phineas and Ferb's voices.
"Perrrryyy!" Phineas said, tapping him on the head. "A buh-lowwwfissshh!"
Perry turned. "Ph-phin? Ferb?"
"Ph-phin. A new kind of dolphin." Ferb said.
"I thought… I thought…"
"You got us out, Perry!" Phineas hugged him. "I knew you would!"
"A blowfish saved our lives." Ferb said.
"YOU saved our lives, Ferb! You swam while holding onto both of us!"
Perry glared at Doofenshmirtz. "He made you pull him along?"
"His arm hurt." Phineas said.
"Wait, you were swimming?"
"Buh-lowfish." Ferb said.
"We'll tell you all of it, Perry. We promise."
Phineas hugged him.
"I'm so happy… so happy you're safe." Perry said.
"Oh… looooook!" Doofenshmirtz suddenly squealed. He pointed at Sneakers. "Look how cute that little platypus is!"
"Group hug with Sneakers and Dolphineas and Perry." Ferb said, joining in with Phineas's hug.