Chapter – III

Shadowmere listened to my whole tale with only a question or two in a couple places, then remained silent when I finished for several minutes. I assumed he was simply absorbing it all, but the silence and all the talking made me keenly aware that I was still thirsty. Thirstier after all the talking I had just done.

We had talked long enough that I could even tell the sun had moved and it was directly above us now.

"Hey Shadowmere," I got his attention as he turned and looked at me, "Could you show me where some water is? I haven't had anything to drink since I before I got here."

I sounded like a whiney kid to my ears, but I kind of felt like a whiney kid. I just wanted someone to make everything okay so I didn't have to deal with any of it.

"Of course," He answered and turned towards the way we had come, but was leading me in a different direction, "This way."

We walked for several minutes, passing almost right beside Falkreath itself, though Shadowmere led me through enough trees and bushes that any of the towns people would have a hard time spotting us. He led me to the hill above the mill where a healthy stream of clear water flowed down the hill.

Shadowmere lowered his head to drink and I followed the suit, trying not to think too hard about how I was drinking. If I just thought along the lines of 'I'm getting a drink,' but not the how I was doing it, I was fine. It was still so weird.

I kept drinking long after Shadowmere had drank his fill and he nudged my shoulder with his after a moment, "You should not drink so much so soon so quickly, you risk making yourself ill."

I wanted to keep drinking, but my brain told me he made sense. I raised my head and stepped back, licking my lips and enjoying the feeling of my mouth not feeling like I had taken a bite of sand. Shadowmere had reminded me of the time I had drank too much water too soon when I was too hot after a long bike ride with Emily.

I had puked my guts up and gotten sick.

"Do you believe me then?" I finally asked, I had wanted to ask him sooner, but I was half afraid he wouldn't and then where would I be.

"It is quite unlike any tale I have ever heard in myth or legend," Shadowmere answered in a thoughtful voice, which really wasn't much of an answer at all. "It is too a whimsical tale for me not to believe it," He added on to my relief, "I do not know any way to help you return to your home though."

I sighed in disappointment and drooped, though I knew it wasn't any fault of Shadowmere's. I looked over the misty buildings of Falkreath, I could just make out the forms of a few people walking around, going about their business. I wished desperately that I could go and talk to them, ask for help, find someone who could help me.

"It's alright," I answered, even if it really wasn't it okay that Shadowmere didn't have all the answers, "I just have to figure out what I'm going to do, how I'm going to find a way home."

He didn't say anything for a long moment, but what he said next caused my heart to clench painfully in my chest, "Have you considered that there may not be a way home?"

I swung my head back to look at him at those quite, calm words. I'm sure raw fear was evident in every line of my expression as I stared at him. I couldn't face that those words might be true. There had to be a way home, there just had to be.

"I can't accept that," I answered, Not yet anyway. Not ever if I could help it. Accepting that there might not be a way for me to get home was almost like saying I was giving up and I couldn't give up on trying to get home.

There had to be somebody, somewhere that could help me somehow. I could probably live with turning back into a human and staying here. I think I could learn to live in Skyrim if I had more people to talk to besides one evil looking black horse that worked for a guild of assassins and was probably the personification of death.

... I might need to even stop talking to this horse, I think how he talks is rubbing off on me.

"Do you think the mages in Winterhold might be able to help me?" I asked abruptly and felt my ears prick up to listen to him. I imagined I probably looked like a hopeful child who thought they might get candy.

"I do not know," Shadowmere answered, then tilted his head slightly, "How would you intend to speak with them? Humans do not understand our words and most animals are not intelligent enough to understand very many human words," He paused, "There are very few animals who are intelligent enough to speak as you and I are presently."

I sighed and shook my head as I looked at the water splashing over the rocks nearby, "I don't know," I answered sadly, "I just know I've got to try something or I'll go crazy trapped how I am. I've got to try to do something."

The thought of standing around, living as a deer in the woods when I could be trying to find a way home was unthinkable. Especially a deer living in Falkreath where there were people who made their living as hunters. I remembered Valdr that I healed and got revenge for his dead hunting party by killing a bunch of bears and Springgans. He'd given me a lucky dagger as a thank you.

I really needed someplace I could hide if I needed to.

"I will do some thinking on the matter," Shadowmere's statement brought me out of my thoughts, "Unfortunately, I cannot venture far from the Sanctuary and you cannot stay close by." He sighed.

I jerked my head up in surprise to both bits of information, "Why not?" I demanded instantly. I had been hoping that if I went looking for a way home that Shadowmere would have been able to come with me. If that had failed, then I could have at least stayed nearby so I could have someone to talk to in him.

"I cannot leave because I am bound to service to Lord Sithis and therefore bound to Astrid," He answered with a sigh, "She would notice if I were gone for an extended period of time and would grow suspicious that something was amiss," A snort of a laugh, "You cannot stay because her wolf would see you as prey and attempt to eat you."

I sighed in resignation, both reasons were sound ones, "Werewolves can't understand what animals say at all?" I asked curiously. I wouldn't go to Arnbjorn for help even if he could understand me. I thought he was creepy when I was just playing the game, I didn't want to even chance meeting him in person.

There were other werewolves in Skyrim though…

"No, I am afraid not," Shadowmere answered, then nodded at me, "I good thought though," I could almost swear he sounded approving. It was so weird for a demonic horse to be so nice.

"I try," I answered dryly.

A snorted laugh from the demon horse.

"So any recommendations on places to hide?" I asked to change the subject. The old horse probably knew of all kinds of places that I wouldn't think of on my own. I had already added the Nordic ruin I'd slept in last night to the mental list of places I could stay. I was pretty sure it was Shriekwind Bastion, but I also wanted to think that there was a vampire living inside of it so I didn't want to make it a regular place.

I could think of places myself, but I wanted to see what suggestions Shadowmere would have for me too. He might have better ideas.

"A few," The horse answered and pointed what my not-quite-a-voice identified as westward with little bit of a north turn with his nose, "The Twilight Sepulcher to the west of here would be one such place," He looked back to me then, "Few know of it. It is a temple to the Lady Nocturnal, though dissonance between the guardians has left it without anyone watching over it. It would be a safe place for you to stay for a time."

I blinked, "How long of a time?"

"A few days at the most, you should keep moving," Shadowmere answered, "You need to eat, even if it is only you alone you will eventually exhaust the food supply a limited area. There is also the fact that staying in one location will eventually attract predators of both the human and animal sort."

It was good advice and something I hadn't thought about. I wasn't a farmer, I had no idea how fast plants grew or even how much I would need to eat now that I was a deer. I was still finding out what I could eat from the not-quite-a-voice that kept speaking up in the back of my head.

"Okay," I answered, nodding sadly. I really didn't want to leave now that I had found someone I could talk to, but he was right. I had to keep moving.

"It should be agreeable for me to take you to the Twilight Sepulcher without arousing suspicion," Shadowmere said, causing me to look at him in surprise.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I blurted out, eyeing him suspiciously. Shadowmere being a nice horse was still a difficult thing for me to wrap my head around. It just didn't make sense for the horse of a guild of assassins to be so nice. Then again, I had always thought that the assassins themselves seemed nice when I met them in-game. In Oblivion at least, they had all had more character.

That was kind of weird too, now that I thought about it.

Nice assassins. I wasn't sure if those two words really belonged in the same sentence together.

A snorted laugh, "An apt question, I assume you ask because you did not expect me to be so?"

I nodded in reply not saying anything. At least Shadowmere seemed amused by my question rather than offended. I had a feeling that if I managed to offend the horse than I was done for. Horse or not, I had confirmed that he really did have fangs and likely he knew how to use them. I didn't even want to think about how fangs fit into a horse's mouth.

"Fair enough," Shadowmere snorted again, "I am nice to you because you are interesting and an enigma I have not encounter before," He began, "You are not from this world or any of the known connecting Planes yet found yourself in this world through unknown means. I find that fascinating and I look forward to seeing how your tale plays out," Another pause before Shadowmere snorted again, "The fact that you provide decently intelligent conversation is also a refreshing change."

Ha, he's just lonely and wants someone to talk to.

"I'll take that last bit as a compliment," I replied with humor.

Shadowmere snorted in reply, "It was meant as such."

We feel into a comfortable silence that was only broken by the flowing of the nearby stream on its way down to Falkreath. I decided I had waited long enough and stepped back up to the pool of water to take another drink. I cut myself off after three good swallows, then returned to standing beside Shadowmere.

"Do you think it would be okay if I stuck around for another day? I have so many questions I want to ask you…" I asked him hopefully. I hadn't even sorted out everything I did need to ask my unlikely friend, my only friend in the whole world at the moment. That was a sobering thought. I wasn't one of those girls who couldn't bear to be alone and had to be around other people constantly, but I didn't like being alone all the time either.

He made a thoughtful sound, "This day is not yet over. Let us see how it progresses to see whether you need stay another."

A non-answer, neither yes or no, but something of a maybe. I could live with that.

"Okay," I agreed, "I keep having these sort-of feelings that keep giving me information like," I began as Shadowmere pricked forward both ears to listen to me, "It's almost like a voice in the back of my head, but it's not. It doesn't use words. I keep knowing things that I don't remember learning, that I don't know how I know them," It all poured out in a rush, uncertainty and fear leaking into my voice.

"A bit of luck is what that is," Shadowmere told me after a moment of silence, "Whatever power or powers that caused you to appear here gifted you with the instincts of one who has grown up and lived here on four feet," He answered thoughtfully, "Listen to them, they will help keep you alive," A snorted laugh, "I had wondered how you move so well for one who has walked on four feet for less than a day."

I snorted a laugh too, "I go all wobbly if I think about it too hard," I confessed, "It seems like that if I don't think about the how and only thinking about what I want to do, like walking or running, that I don't have a problem. It's when I think about how I'm supposed to walk on two legs that I have trouble."

"Again, those are your instincts," He replied with a nod, "They will tell you what is safe to eat, where it is safe to sleep, when to seek shelter from storms, and many other things," Shadowmere paused, for dramatic effect more than anything else I think, "They will tell you who is your friend and who is your enemy, when to run and when to stand and fight. So listen well when you get those feelings."

I nodded in agreement, suddenly counting myself very, very lucky. I could have been dumped here with no idea how to even walk. If had been that badly off, I probably wouldn't have been able to run away from the nightmare man… A burning stab of hatred for the nightmare flashed through me towards the man.

I wanted some payback, revenge for somehow bringing me here and getting me stuck in the body of a deer of all things.

"Something angers you?" Shadowmere asked mildly, looking interested.

"I was thinking about the nightmare man… er, the man I saw when I woke up here," I answered even as I came to the conclusion that I probably wouldn't know him if I saw him again. "I probably wouldn't know him if I saw him again though. I was kinda out of it and the lightning wasn't that great." I sighed.

A snorted laugh, "He was close to your face when you awoke, correct?" I nodded, "You will remember him, you may just have to get a bit close to get his scent." Shadowmere told me matter-of-factly.

I jerked my head up and pricked both ears toward him in surprise, "His scent?!" How did that even work? I don't remember what he smelled like!

Except that I suddenly did. Candle smoke, rancid meat, a sweet with a hint of spice scent, static, blood, sweat, burnt meat, and a whole other hoard of smells I remembered but couldn't put name to. I suddenly realized I could smell Shadowmere too, he smelled like blood, the wind, horse, hay, grass, and more scents I couldn't put name to.

Another snort for a laugh from the horse, I also wanted to think Shadowmere was nice to me because I was the most entertainment he'd probably had in a long time. "You just discovered the use of your nose," It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact spoken with amusement.

I blew an annoyed gust of air in annoyance and shook my head back and forth like a dog would to shed water, "I've only had this sensitive of a nose since I woke up, which was less than a day ago in case you forgot!" Was my mock-annoyed voice, I thought it was kind of funny I hadn't noticed sooner too, but I wasn't going to tell Shadowmere that.

I think if I had been human and he had been human, I would have had a crush on him. Shadowmere could be pretty darn charming when he wanted to be, arrogant personality and all.

"I forget nothing," Shadowmere answered with a touch more arrogance than he had been using before. I rolled my eyes, a human gesture I was glad I could still use. It was one of my favorite gestures. "We should find you more to eat, you will need the energy for travel to the Sepulcher tonight."

He turned and began walking away from the water and the sort-of visible town of Falkreath. I followed without hesitation, the sort-of-voice, my instincts told me I could trust him, even if he was a demonic horse working for a bunch of assassins. The voice hadn't been wrong yet so I would keep listening to it for now.

"What about you?" I asked as I briefly quickened my pace so I could walk beside him, "Don't you need to eat something too?"

A snort and a shake of his mane served as a display of his amusement, "No. I am a creature of magic, created by magic, I do not need the same food mortal creatures do. However, I do take enjoyment of it from time to time ."

Now it was my turn to snort a laugh, "I get the feeling you're fond of apples."

Are we flirting? If we were both humans, I would definitely say we are flirting.

But Shadowmere was a horse and I was a deer. Well, a human trapped in a deer's body but a deer none-the-less. I wasn't sure Shadowmere even ever had thoughts along romantic lines. I would feel sorry for him if he couldn't experience love, but then how could he? No other horse in the world was probably anything like him so how would he even find anyone to spend his life with?

I still had the romantic idea of falling in love, getting married, having kids, and growing old with someone. I wasn't sure what was going to happen to said plans now, but I still had them. I still wanted to go home so I could use those plans.

"You are correct," Shadowmere's amused voice pulled me at my steadily depressing thoughts.

What was I going to do when I didn't have Shadowmere to talk to?

Have way, way, way too much time to think on my hands… hooves… Whatever.

Yet another depressing thought.

"I'm going to have to find some way to stay in contact with people," I blurted out abruptly, causing Shadowmere to stop and give me on odd look.

"Why?" He finally asked after a moment of silence while I stood there fidgeting and not looking at him. I didn't immediately answer as I turned the single-worded question over in my mind and tried to come up with an answer. Why did I need to be in contact with humans?

There. Right there.

"Because, I think if I don't have someone to talk at or at least listen to, I think I might go crazy being alone," I said at last, "I'm afraid I might forget that I'm human." It sounded almost silly. How could I forget that I was human? Shadowmere was probably going to laugh at me again…

Surprisingly he didn't, merely nodded and started walking again. "It is a legitimate concern," He said calmly as we crossed the road I had been following in the woods earlier, "If one were to focus too much on the simpler thoughts and feelings of animals, the human part may fade away," Fear tied my stomach into knots as he confirmed my fears, "However, you are unique. I have never heard of someone like you in lore or legend. There is no guarantee that your fear will or will not come to pass."

He stopped then as we found ourselves in a clearing on the side of a sloping hill. I stared at him miserably, wishing that he had been able to either confirm whether my fear was real or not instead of being stuck with the uncertainty. I really wished he had been more comforting about it, but then he wouldn't be Shadowmere.

I sighed and didn't say anything as I looked around where we had stopped. It was mostly trees, bushes, mountain flowers, and grass but I thought I could see part of the ruins that were by the road. I had no trouble remembering the name of the Roadside Ruins, being as it was so original and all.

"Eat, the grass and flowers here are good," Shadowmere ordered me, "Then rest while I keep watch."

He had turned to go when I asked another question that popped into my head, "Can you do any magic?"

If Shadowmere could do magic, maybe I could do magic too. If I learned to do magic I might be able to come up with some way to communicate with other humans when I ran into some. I would have to find some spell books or some other way of learning it though.

Shadowmere paused and looked back at me, "Some, but it is not the sort that I can teach." I tilted my head curiously, silently asking him what he meant by that, which was enough to get him to continue with him being the apparently chatty horse that he was, "They are blessings from Lord Sithis, secrets for only his most faithful. That is all I will say. Not eat, then rest. We will leave for the Sepulcher soon."

With that, he climbed to the top of the hill where he was far enough to make talking impossible and giving himself the best view possible since we were surrounded by trees and huge rocks. I sighed and turned my attention to the greens around me. My instincts told me that the grass was filling, but the flowers had healthy properties to them.

I found that only a little bit weird, but decided to think while I ate as I lowered my head and began munching on the grass. It reminded me of broccoli the most in taste as I browsed my way towards a patch of red flowers nearby. I would have expected to flowers to be more similar to candy, like they were in the movie Bambi, but this was Skyrim and flowers had magical properties.

Maybe that was why the red flowers I had eaten earlier in the day had been so filling. I decided that was the best conclusion I could come up with as I finished the patch of grass and started in on the flower patch as I wondered what properties they had for potions. I wasn't ever much into alchemy except at lower levels when I wanted to make poisons to sell and to use on arrows while my archery skill wasn't very high.

The red flowers were tasty though. There was a patch of blue nearby and my instincts identified them as safe too so I decided I would eat them after I finished off the blue ones. Which wasn't going to be long at the rate I was going, I hadn't realized just how hungry was I was until I started eating.

I finished the red flowers and ate part of a patch of a grass before setting in on the blue flowers, that were tangy with a hint of bitterness that reminded me of herbs for some reason. They were still tasty and filling, by the time I was finished with that patch I was yawning and looking for a place to take a nap.

My instincts kicked in and directed me to an overhang made by a rock behind a tree that I had spotted earlier. It made for a semi-secluded hiding spot and I felt safe as I laid down to nap. I felt no danger at all letting my eyes slid shut knowing Shadowmere was keeping an eye out for me.

And another chapter.

This has been done for a while, but between being super busy and real life drama I neglected posting it. The drama somewhat killed my muse for this story and I only started working on it again today. Things are halfway worked out drama-wise so it's not as big of a stresser right now and I'm trying to get back to work on this.

Thank you to everyone who has Favorited/Followed/Reviewed this! It means a lot! Love you people!