Remus was gone when he woke up. Of course he was, he was Remus; if he could survive agonizingly painful transformations every month on the full moon, a hangover wouldn't keep him from going to the library.
Sirius, on the other hand, had a splitting headache and felt like his throat had sealed shut over night it was so dry. If he thought he could've, he would've gone back to bed, but with James and Peter's snores attempting to break the sound barrier he wasn't too inclined to try. So, going against all of his basest instincts, he shakily rose and dressed before stumbling to the bathroom. He ignored his lacklustre appearance in the mirror and set to splashing water on his face. After all, it was very important that he find Remus. He wasn't sure why-he wasn't awake enough to process thoughts just yet-but he knew one thing; Remus would be in the library.
The common room was mercifully quiet when he got down the stairs, and the couches by the fire were calling out to him in his sleepy, hungover state. But that nagging part of him still insisted that he find and talk to Remus. Sirius shook himself and resumed his tromp to the library. The rest of the castle was almost deserted as well and, upon checking his watch, Sirius was shocked to find that it was only just then eight o'clock. Vaguely muttering about getting this over with, he sped up and was at the doorway to the library in less than five minutes, still clueless as to what was so important that it brought him there
His eyes searched the nearly empty library and found Remus, curled up in his usual spot between the last shelf and the wall dividing the main library from the restricted section, reading, as was to be expected. The sight of him so relaxed brought all of all of Sirius' memories back in a whirlwind and very nearly knocked the wind out of him. The shock of the flood of information elicited a barely audible gasp which caused Remus to look up from his book curiously. Sirius cursed and ducked out of the doorway just in time to escape his notice. Once out of sight, he leaned back against the wall and slowly sank to the floor, surprised to find how heavily his heart was pounding. Just like last night, he sat there, struggling to regain his breath-and his composure-as the revelations of the previous night threatened to overwhelm him once more.
Maybe I should take some time, think this through first and come to terms with this before I try explaining it to someone else, he thought before sighing and reminding himself that it wouldn't-no, couldn't-work that way. Remus deserved an explanation, however jumbled and confusing it might be, and he needed to talk about it out loud if he were ever to understand it himself.
Groaning lightly, he rose to his feet, thanking Merlin that at least he was lucid now. It would be hard enough to explain if he didn't fully understand what was going on himself; It would be much worse if he suddenly started babbling nonsense and then fell asleep as well as he was prone to do on early mornings. He made his way over to Remus as quietly as he could, which wasn't very quiet considering, and Remus looked up once again at the sound. For a moment his face was overcome with panic before he visibly clamped down on his emotions and a mask of indifference came up instead.
"Sleep well, Padfoot?' he asked a little too calmly. Still a bit moody from his early awakening and consequent headache, Sirius plopped down rather ungracefully next to him and insisted, "None of that, Moony, we need to talk." Remus sighed and reluctantly closed his book. "All right. You first." Sirius opened his mouth to start and unfortunately the courage brought on by the annoyance of a moment ago had left him and he no longer had the ability to voice his thoughts properly.
Well, Moony, I've done a lot of thinking-yes, thinking, I thought you'd be impressed- and I've come to the realization that I'm gay. Incredibly gay. For you. And I like you. A lot. And I think we should do stuff. Together. Like anything. Kissing, Hogsmeade visits. Pranking. Studying. Except we do a lot of that together already. So we should do a lot of kissing. Like last night. I liked last night a lot. Except when you ran off, y'know. Could we do that again? Without the running off, though. As that raced through his head, he was glad none of it came out. But he was not necessarily pleased with what did, either. "Ah...uhm...you-uh...I mean, I...Last night was...Interesting..." Mentally, he slapped himself. Interesting? That's the best you can do, you tosser? That is the worst word possible!
Remus huffed and moved to collect his things, "You don't have to say it Sirius. I'm sorry about what happened," He said dryly, with very little emotion, "and I promise it won't happen again. Let's just forget this ever happened; It was a mistake." Remus rose to go and, desperately, Sirius grabbed a hold of his hand, protesting, "No, Remus, please-"
"Enough, Sirius! I don't want to talk about it." Remus tried in vain to free his hand from Sirius' grasp, but Sirius was far too determined to let that happen. "That's fine, Moony," He whined, "We don't have to talk about-" "Sirius, Let me go!" Remus demanded, struggling in earnest to escape. "No!" Sirius cried with a firm tug that landed Remus on the floor, sprawled across Sirius' lap. Remus sighed heavily before meeting his eyes, and Sirius swore he could see the beginnings of tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. Just like that, he knew he would do anything to keep them from falling.
"Sirius, please, I don't want to talk-" but he was cut off by Sirius wrapping his hand behind his neck and pulling him into a brief kiss. "I don't want to talk either, Moony." He whispered before pulling him into another kiss. He didn't respond at first, but when Sirius prodded his sealed lips lightly, seeking to deepen the kiss, he opened up completely. Though it was much less urgent that the kiss of the night before, it was definitely leaps and bounds better. Without the dampening affects of alcohol, Sirius felt Remus exploring his mouth much more diligently, and he returned the favor hungrily, pleasantly surprised to hear Remus moan into the kiss. But then his moans became more insistent, and more like protests than sounds of pleasure, until suddenly Sirius was shoved against the library wall, watching as Remus smoothed any wrinkles in his clothing and gathered his things before starting to scamper off. Right before he left the library, he turned and regarded Sirius with a stony stare. "I don't know what you think you're playing at, Black, but it's not funny and I won't have any part in it."
Before Sirius could call out after him, He was gone.