*Hello, beautiful people! I don't actually have much to say except that the adult themes found in Chapter 2 carried over into this chapter and, once again, you are Equius. Thanks for reading! :]*
Catch Me: Love, Nepeta
You behold the scene before you, gasping in utter shock. Nepeta, your closest, dearest friend, now lies in a pooling puddle of her blood with nothing on, but undergarments and her trench coat hung loosely over her frail shoulders. Astonishingly deep scars cover her abnormally thin, fragile looking body, bringing tears to your eyes. Emotions began feeling emotions welling in your chest. Anger at whoever caused Nepeta such pain, sadness and pity for the poor girl, and most of all regret. You knew she might cut herself to relieve the pain after the earlier conversation and ate little when depressed, but never could you imagine seeing the scene before you. Shaking of your thoughts you act. You run to the unconscious girl and pick her up, her insignificant weight causing fresh tears to form in your already overflowing eyes. Holding Nepeta close to your chest with one heavily muscled arm, you grab the phone in your pocket and choose speed dial three.
"Hello, what is your-" The woman begins before you interrupt.
"I have a small girl bleeding to death from her wrists. We are at MSPA on 413 Hussie Lane," you quickly state before clicking off the phone. As an individual trained for first aid, and much more by associates of your father who worked in the medical field, any additional instruction from the woman could not help.
You finally exit the building through the front doors, ignoring the secretary telling you to stop, and rush outside. Gently placing Nepeta on the ground, you rip off a two long strips of cloth from your jacket and wrap the material lightly around the girl's wrists. You pick up the mortally damaged girl and carry her towards the end of the private school's incredibly long driveway, hurrying as you notice the cloth on the teen's injury beginning to bleed through. Once at the end, you place her on a bench. Looking at her tear soaked, yet completely peaceful face, you break down. You look at the sweet girl's face and wonder why life decides to bring such pain to such an innocent girl.
Memories of the two of you race through your brain, revealing all the pain Nepeta felt. All the times you helped fix her up, cringing at every bloody cut. Every time you watched her play with her food, forcing yourself to look away, not to notice your welling tears. The fear of your tears causing her grief and resulting in more depression for the girl remains the only reason why you wear your cracked sunglasses. Taking off the disgusting fashion wear, revealing deep blue eyes, you look, once again, at Nepeta. The closest thing to a best friend you ever had.
Someone who you could have considered your best friend, if only you had not ruined it by falling in love with her. Even now, as she lies on the bench slowly bleeding out, you cannot help, but feel warmth in your heart at the sight of her angelic face. However, an even stronger, and much darker, emotion covers the love you feel for the girl, worry. You decide to check her pulse, at this point an, almost, non-existent whisper, and add more strips of your jacket to the blood soaked ones from before.
After getting the girl's bandages as tight as you possibly can and elevating her arms to slow down blood flow, he, finally, hears the ambulance's wails. As the truck approaches you wave your arms, causing them to slow to a stop. The rest happens in a blur. Abruptly, you see medics carrying Nepeta into the vehicle, her oversized jacket slipping off her shoulders. You catch the precious item and trudge into the truck, receiving a few sidelong looks, but no objections. As the vehicle speeds ahead towards the closest hospital, your eyes never leave the beautiful, broken girl. Never do you look away, not as the medics feverishly shout to one another, not as the ambulance truck jerks side to side, not even as the truck stops in front of the hospital. The physicians rush Nepeta into the building, you only steps behind. And as they gain entry to the emergency room, a nurse stops you, causing the dying girl to leave your field of vision.
"Get out of my way!" you shout angrily, "I need to be there!" The nurse shakes her head, and, to make a point, pulls on the now locked door. There is no gaining entry now. You scream, letting out all the pain you kept from showing until now. The ethereal sound reverberates through the bleach white, overly sterile, disgustingly peaceful halls. You fall to your knees, crying hysterically, and pound at the wall screaming your love's name.
Finally, all your anger dissolves into a gaping trench of intense sadness. The nurse looks at you, full of pity and sympathy, but leaves, knowing you need your space. You hold Nepeta's coat to your chest, as a child would clutch his blanket, and feel something in the inner pocket of the jacket. You, upon investigating, pull out Nepeta's sketch pad. You flip through the pages, experiencing awe you never before felt in your life. Countless pictures of astounding beauty reside in the deceptively simple memo pad. As you begin nearing the end you view something which triggers fresh tears to form in your eyes. Upon this page an extraordinarily lifelike steed dominates the page, and sitting on the horses back, an adorable, perfect kitten playfully swats at stallion's tail. Smiling you turn the page, and your stomach drops rapidly. Scrawled out on the final sheet of the notepad, you find a letter, directly addressed to you.
Dear Equius,
I knew you would eventually find this. Of course you would be the one to search through my notepad, knowing it would hold some of my deepest secrets and everything remotely close to my heart. Equius, you have always told me to follow my heart, to do whatever would make me happy. I will always love you for that, even after I am gone. Today, I took your well-meant advice, unexpectedly confident everything would turn out all right. I climbed above all my insecurities, my past failures, and all my fears. And I reached the edge of the cliff-side basking in the warmth of the sun. However, on my high, I stretched too far towards the sun, looking for forbidden happiness.
And I fell. I fell faster than anyone should and continued to accelerate. Down into the depths of sadness, suffering, pain, and unbearable rejection I dropped. And as their cold, slimy, tendrils of self-loathing began to enter me, I feel nothing. I feel so empty, so worthless, and I just can't do it anymore. I just need to cut out all my agony, remove the cancer of despair and misery from my beaten, bruised, and disgusting body.
My sun is gone. I have nothing left. But even writing this, I hope, in some pathetic attempt to escape reality, that maybe my night will put me back together, making me beautiful. But who am I kidding, I have no knight in shining armor. All I have is this inescapable heartache, and angst. And I can't take it anymore.
Equius, this letter may make it seem like it's your fault. But it's not. It is you, with all the strength, with all the kindness and love in your heart that kept me from collapsing long ago. You made even my darkest nights radiate, intense, yet gentle, like moonlight. Equius, you ARE my moon, filling my blackest times with affection and compassion never given to me before. Although I am too far gone for even your unmatchable goodness to fix me, you still have touched my heart, making this shattered life complete. I will always love you for that.
Love,
Nepeta
*So, yeah, I am literally sitting at my computer, crying, "Why do I do this to myself?!" So, I think I am just going to leave it at that until next chapter. Thanks for reading this, you are all beautiful, and please, do not hate me for all the sad stories I write. :'[*