It was time for Levi to tend the horses. He hated tending the horses. They were so dirty. Plus, there was that one horse… "Neigh," said a pretentious voice. "It is time for my hay. Because I'm Jean Kirschtein… Neigh." Levi sighed. He was tired of this shit. Literally. Jean was currently spewing his waste onto the stable floor. Levi sighed again and whipped out his willy. Time to teach that horse a lesson, he thought. At that moment, Mikasa walked in. "I was looking for Eren," she said. "I guess you and Jean are busy, though…" She got ready to head back out of the stable. Levi pulled her back in. "Wouldn't you like to join me?" He said sexily. "I bet my teeny peeny would please you more than it would that horse." Jean flipped his hair fabulously in protest. (Author's note: Mikasa is 18 in this fic, so she is totes legal.) Mikasa stripped. She was completely naked except for her scarf. "Mikasa es su casa," she said, still with the same blank expression on her face. Levi inched closer. Mikasa bit her scarf sexily before swallowing it, also sexily. Before he could put his dongle in her vajayjay, the big red scarf shot out of the waiting cooter. It wrapped itself around Levi's limbs and began to pull him towards Mikasa. Levi screamed. "NO, IT IS DIRTY IN THERE!" he screeched. Mikasa's expression stayed blank. The scarf pulled Levi all the way in. The last thing to slide in was Levi's peener, with a little cravat tied around it. Mikasa was unfazed by the tiny man inside of her vegeta. She headed back to her room. On the way, she met Eren. He was currently engaged in his mid-day rage boner stroking, as always. Mikasa grabbed his hand and dragged him with her to her room. She pulled off his clothes, including his smiley face undies that Armin had made him. Eren was still engaged in envisioning himself killing titans and doing the dirty deed over their corpses. Mikasa slapped him with her now exposed lady parts. He screamed. "No," he said, "I'm saving myself for Reiner. He's so bara!" Mikasa ignored him and lowered herself onto his rage boner. Just as the two sets of private parts were about to meet, Levi popped out and shoved himself onto Eren's dingle. Eren's eyes went wide as his rage boner was given sweet release. Mikasa punched Levi in the face, probably breaking his nose again. Levi slinked off, going back to his plans with Jean. Eren's face stayed like that for the rest of the day.