Levi woke up uneventfully for once. Nothing was being shoved inside of him. No horses were neighing at him. Especially not after he confiscated Jean's sugar cube stash as punishment for waking up his heichow. However, now that Levi was up, he could hear some commotion outside of his door. It sounded like it was coming from the common room. Curious, Levi changed into his uniform and cravats and went to investigate. Everyone was grouped around someone, swooning and trying to restrain themselves from touching themselves intimately. Eren and Armin looked especially excited. Only Krista and Ymir were outside the crowd, sitting together on a loveseat in the corner. Levi, irritated that people were turned on by someone other than himself, shoved through the crowd. Oh, God, he thought. Of course it was him. Reiner was standing in the center of the group, looking very confused at all of the attention he was getting. His shirt was ripped open, and his extremely manly chest was exposed, nip nops and all. Even Levi had to admit, Reiner was amazingly sexy and bara.
Levi went to grab Reiner by the collar, but there was two problems. One: His collar was ripped to shreds. Two: Levi was way too short to even reach that high. Not wanting to look like an idiot for even trying, Levi grabbed the next best thing(s). Reiner's nip nops. Reiner blushed. "W-what are you doing, heichou?" he asked. "This is sexual harassment, isn't it?" Everyone looked confused. Connie raised his hand. "What is sexual… hair-ass-ment?" he asked. "I don't know," said Sasha. Levi tightened his grip, causing Reiner to squeak. "I know you've been on leave for chronic hotness, but that doesn't excuse you for not knowing the rules," Levi said. "Sexual harassment hasn't been a valid complaint in the survey corps since the time Er- Commander Handsome joined." Reined gave up with a sigh. "Okay, then," he said. "What is your problem with me, sir?" Levi's face hardened. "You need to wear a proper shirt, Reiner. Your sexiness is distracting everyone from their work. Even Jean is in here instead of tending to the other horses like I asked him to. Go get Reiner a fresh shirt, Jean," he said. "I will go do that… neigh," said Jean. "Because I'm Jean Kirschtein, and I am the best at fetching shirts… neigh."
Jean soon returned with the shirt, which Reiner promptly put on. After a few seconds, Reiner's shirt ripped perfectly down the middle. Luckily, Jean had brought a second shirt just in case. Reiner put it on. Just as he finished buttoning it up, the back of the shirt ripped open. Reiner's beautiful back muscles were now exposed. Everyone standing behind Reiner had nosebleeds, soaking the room in blood. Levi was not cool with this. He vomited up some bleach, pulled a tiny mop out of his butt, and started mopping the floor. "Look, I'm going to need to punish you for being more sexy than me," said Levi. He tore Reiner's pants off and licked his back muscles, just once in order to remember them. Levi transformed into a titancorn and rammed his titan wiggle waggle up Reiner's booty, sexily. Reiner's face turned bright red. "NO!" he shouted. "You're draining my bara powers! A bara can never be on the receiving end!" Reiner's muscles slowly shrunk. His chin become more round. His peenor shrunk down to average size. Reiner was now an average looking man. The crowd, disappointed in this development, dissipated. Levi pushed Reiner back off of his dongle and left, heading off to get some food. Reiner looked to Krista, who was currently engaged in mutual booby fondling with Ymir. He sighed and headed back to his room to hide.