Levi awoke to… a bike horn? He had fallen asleep in his uniform last night after attempting to chug a mug of Viagra-laced chai tea. He jumped out of bed and ran out into the hallway to see what was going on. "Who the hell is honking that bike horn?" he said. Connie looked confused? "Bi-corn?" he asked. "Like your titan form, hichew?" Levi scoffed and did a sexy hair flip. "Honestly, Connie, I'm omnisexual," said Levi. "I don't discriminate by anything. Not even..." Levi waggled his eyebrows as he said this last part, "Species." Connie just stood there, looking vaguely worried. "Oh, and I said bike. Horn," said Levi. Levi swore he could see a light bulb appear over Connie's head as he said this. "Oh, that was Sasha," he said. "She's on titan alert duty right now. If a titan is spotted within the walls, she's supposed to… oh. She's supposed to honk the horn. Shit." The two men ran outside to see what was going on. The others had already gathered there. Sasha was in the middle of the crowd, honking her bike horn and wearing cone boobs and a giant hoop skirt for some reason. It was probably the new titan alert uniform. Erwin kept changing them.
"Oh good," said Erwin. "You're here. The female titan has reappeared within the walls. I had heard that Annie had disappeared from her holding room, but I didn't think she would resurface so soon." Levi looked down at the ground in embarrassment and kicked an acorn around. "Levi, I would like you to go take care of this. That new titan power you discovered at our last titan bowling outing should be enough to take care of the problem." Levi nodded and used his 3dmg to propel himself over to the rampaging titan. Annie was using a large tree to etch something into the street. When Levi got closer, he saw it was a sexual harassment complaint against the survey corps. God, why did no one remember the new rules? He flung himself up to a roof at Annie's eye level and bit his cravat. He flew up into the air, surrounded by a pillar of light. His clothes disappeared, and he morphed into a titancorn.
"Hey, Annie," he said, "Are you okay?" Annie looked at him and rolled her gigantic titan eyes. Now that he had Annie's attention, he shot a beam of pink light out of his titan doodle. Annie put her hands up to her cheeks and squeed. "Oh, Levi, you're soooo sexy," she said in a high pitched voice very uncharacteristic for a titan. A pink light shone between her legs, and she grew a magical titan cooter. Levi launched himself between her legs and put his noodle in her vajoodle. Both titans became one and simultaneously came. They instantly reverted back to human form and started falling. Levi caught Annie and shot his 3dmg onto a building, saving them. Annie looked at Levi. She looked like she wanted to slap him, but she just looked away and blushed before calling him a b-baka and running off. Levi smiled smugly. This was another job well-done for the sexiest heichoochoo alive.