notes: oh look, i updated one of my older stories today. call cnn, it's a miracle.
summary: Natsu and Lucy are assigned their first job, and things do not go as planned.

chapter title: undercover all star

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{i don't even like you,
why'd you want to go and make me feel this way?}

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Natsu and Lucy are assigned their first mission only a month into their partnership.

The former is ecstatic to finally be able to do something, but the blonde is somewhat reluctant. They may be partners—more like, she's been assigned to his case to make sure he doesn't blow up Fiore—but they're not a very good team. Or at least that's what Lucy thinks. They've worked together once out of a moment of desperation, but that'd been a long time ago.

While it's safe to say that they were just kids at the time—eighteen and seventeen, respectively—and they were adults now, she still isn't sure. The last time they paired up, a half of a port was destroyed along with several expensive yachts. Thinking of all the damage and expenses makes her head spin.

So it's understandable that she's a bit wary of this whole endeavor. Especially when she finds out what their assignment actually is.

"Wait, wait. So you're telling me that this is just a simple infiltration mission?" Lucy questions, narrowing her eyes at Erza, who is filing her nails.

The Queen of the Fairies places her nail file on her desk and looks at the two sitting across from her. "Yes, Agent Heartfilia. Though there is a little more to it than that, it's essentially just sneaking into the Duke of Everlue's ranks, finding out a little information, securing the package, and getting back out before anyone ever suspects anything. Quick, easy, shouldn't be a problem for you two."

Lucy nods weakly, attempting to push the disturbing thought of the words 'Natsu', 'recon', and 'quiet infiltration' being together in the same sentence together to the recesses of her mind. She accepts the rather thick folder Erza hands her, and then they are both dismissed to prepare for the trip to Shirotsume Town.

Once back at her apartment, she sits down with the file over dinner. It's late, and for the first time in what seems like days she is alone. Lately she's been working at a local art dealer's—which she supposedly owns—which is really a SHIELD front, to keep up appearances. The blonde isn't exactly sure what the others do when they're not out on the job, because it's protocol that they don't really have any association with each other unless absolutely necessary.

Or at least that's what the training manual claims, but Lucy knows these people well enough now, and the agents of the Fairy Tail sector don't exactly follow protocol. Enough to get by, and possibly even by the book when Erza comes around—because she is a tyrant who will not hesitate to bring her wrath down upon any unfortunate soul unlucky enough to be caught doing something even as minor as eating in the conference room—but other than that, there isn't a lot of rule following.

Lucy likes rules, and she also likes peace, but these past few weeks in Magnolia have taught her that she also likes a laid-back environment where she can occasionally sneak some donuts from the break room into one of the sparse yet mandatory meetings. She likes being around other agents who aren't really uptight, but rather loose and fun to be around. She hasn't decided whether or not she likes her partner and her various other affiliates intruding on her privacy an invading her home, but it beats living in the dorms, she figures. And okay so maybe it's not so awful.

Natsu owes her like, a week's worth of groceries though. She needs to write that down and send him the bill, or something.

She rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her hot cocoa as she opens the envelope containing her new identity. It's only for a few days, she knows, but she still isn't used to being Lucy Ashley, let alone becoming someone else completely in only a matter of hours. It's a skill that is perfected over time, she concludes. At least she has the wonderful and fantastic Levy McGarden to make up amazing women for her to be. The analyst is a tech-savvy angel with the ability and imagination to think up some pretty cool cover stories, with a bit of input on Lucy's part.

The blonde smiles and takes a bite of pasta as she reads over new backstory.

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"Like hell I'm wearing that, you moron. I change my mind—I don't want to do this anymore. Go find some other willing blonde to slip into that disgrace to femininity and play the part of the ditsy maid because I'm out."

Natsu made an impatient whining noise in the back of his throat and shook the dress in his hands. "C'mon Lucy. Erza said you have to look the part. It's just a maid's uniform, what's so bad about it?"

The blonde sneers at him and points at the detestable garment he's holding. "That," she spits, "is not a dress. It's a sin. It looks like it came from some awful adult fantasy store. The skirt barely comes down to my thigh and I'm pretty sure that actual maid uniforms aren't supposed to show half of my cleavage, thank you very much."

He stares at her, then something seems to click. She huffs to herself and waits for him to agree with her. Only he doesn't. "Oh, so you're a prude? Sorry, sorry. I didn't realize. I just thought from the way you dressed most of the time that you wouldn't have a problem with it," he shrugs. "If you wanted to dress like a nun, why didn't you just say so?"

Lucy's blood pressure abruptly spikes and she rips the detested outfit from his grasp. "I am not a prude, you incompetent moron. I'm a lady, not that you would know. And—wait. What do you mean 'the way I dress most of the time'—"

"Are you going to put that on or not," he interjects, tone deadpan.

She lets out an inhumane screech and storms off in a fit of rage. It does not occur to her until she's wearing the horrid ensemble why he looks so smug, and she realizes that the frustrating bastard tricked her into putting it on in the first place.

But the smug smirk on said disgrace to the human—or superhuman—race's face is immediately wiped off as soon as they step into the jet waiting to take them to Shirotsume Town. Instead he is groveling and moaning in the seat next to her, and she is the one feeling very content with herself even though she's dressed like some kind of slutty number from a bad Halloween horror film.

"Lucy," he groans, all the color drained from his face, "help."

She's well aware of his severe case of motion sickness. Hell, the guy turned sheet white whenever he so much as stepped within a fifteen foot radius of a vehicle.

The blonde simply scoots a little farther away, careful to hold down the sorry excuse for a skirt on the dress so as not to give the agent sitting across from her an eyeful. He looks a little too interested in the GPS system at the moment, but when she turns she can feel his eyes on her.

She casts a sour glare at her supposed partner as he doubles over in his seat, then sniffs and pats down her hair. "I hope we hit several bouts of turbulence along the way and you throw up that twelve-inch BLT and those spicy tacos you had for lunch all over Agent Alors' new shoes."

He goes deathly pale, and Lucy smirks as Natsu's face suddenly turns a peculiar shade of green. She settles back into her seat and pulls out a novel, basking in her partner's obvious discomfort and the fact that the possible pervert seated across from her is too focused on trying to keep Natsu from vomiting all over him to ogle her.

Maybe this assignment won't be so bad after all.

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end notes: i'll probably never be able to top the last chapter because it's my favorite so far, but whatever. this is becoming a real story so i'm not even going to bother with telling you that there is more of this arc to come.