Onwards!

IV.

She knew that it was supposed to hurt. She had felt disappointment before, an excruciating number of times, but even so she hadn't expected it to hurt quite this much. The stabbing pain in her chest, as if someone was violently twisting her insides, only served to remind her that her fear that she would always be second best was solidly founded.

It had taken her a while to notice it, mostly because she always tried to avoid Laurel whenever she might happen to be at the foundry, and more recently Oliver. She felt bad at her avoidance of the other woman. She didn't have anything against her personally, but she felt that being forced to bare witness to the obvious feelings and chemistry that existed between Oliver and Laurel was a bit to much for anyone to expect for her to put up with.

Luckily the other gorgeous woman very rarely stopped by the foundry, preferring to help the team from the vantage point of the DA's office. In the wake of Slade's attack on Starling City and the death of the DA, Laurel had stepped up to fill her shoes. At least until a new mayor and subsequently a new DA were appointed.

Sometimes Felicity still couldn't believe just how Sebastian Blood had been able to fool them all. Maybe it was because unlike Isabel Rochev - who had been unpleasant since day one - Blood had been charming and seemingly harmless.

Felicity sat in front of her computers at the foundry, only occasionally looking at the screens. The program she had set up last week was still running, and so far there was little headway, but sometimes these things took time. It was all a matter of being patient, and then she'd have her perp. She muffled her giggle by turning it into a cough, but John looked at her curiously either way. She simply shook her head and returned her attention to the training mats, the source of her displeasure and disappointment.

Felicity never liked for John to train her in front of Oliver. Take it as a pride thing, but something about getting her butt handed to her - even if it was as a way to show her how to defend herself - was not something she was particularly interested in him seeing. Especially when Oliver himself could go toe to toe with John and give the the other man a run for his money.

So naturally she tried to have John arrange their training sessions for times when Oliver was almost guaranteed to not be there.

Almost however, was not nearly as good as absolutely.

"John, sometimes I think you take a little bit too much pleasure in nocking me around silly. Is this payback for all those times I didn't bring you any Thai food? Because if so, I whole heartedly apologize and want you to know that I don't do it intentionally, I just get into my own head sometimes and I forget that you and Oliver are going to be here."

John's answering grunt only served to make her think her suspicion was that much more founded, but before she could say so he interrupted her. "Felicity while I do enjoy Thai food, our training sessions are simply to make sure that you can defend yourself. Oliver and I think it's best if we don't have a repeat of what happened with the Clock King. You did well Felicity, but taking a bullet every time you take down one of the bad guys is not something we're eager to see.

That of course shut her right up, and if she was being honest she felt touched that they cared as much as they did.

But as soon as they walked into the lair the sound of grunts and the angry smack of flesh being hit greeted them. Oliver and Laurel, to whom Felicity had barely spoken more than four words to, were training on one of the many large execersize mats that occupied the side of the lair not taken up by their "crime-fighting" equipment - as Felicity liked to call it.

Instantly a strange feeling crept up on her, leaving her chest just a little more hollow than it had been before she saw them. She couldn't exactly pinpoint why she felt like she did, and because of that the exact nature of the feeling itself shrouded itself to her.

Sometimes she really did wish she could be as emotionlessly logical as her computers.

"You two are really going at it, mind if we join you?" John spoke just as Felicity was already turning around, and she found herself cursing silently under her breath. John turned to look at her, his eyebrows puckered in confusion before he schooled his features. Sometimes he was a little too perceptive for his own good.

Felicity looked at Oliver, very pointedly looking at only his face and not his naked torso. Nothing you haven't seen before Felicity, she thought quickly to herself.

Oliver turned to look at her, seemingly sizing her up before shaking his head. "We were actually just finishing up." At his words Laurel sighed in relief and sat down on the mat, her fingers flying to undo the bandages that covered her fists with an eagerness that Felicity understood only too well. Oliver looked a little amused before he walked away from her, putting on his shirt as he passed John and Felicity and headed towards the stairs.

John turned to Felicity and nudged his head in the direction of the other mat. She rolled her eyes at him but walked over. Sitting cross legged on the floor, she began to wrap her hands in bandages just as Laurel finished unwrapping hers. The other woman looked over at her and smiled, and for a second Felicity was struck by just how genuine she seemed to be.

Nothing like not being able to hate the competition. Not that there was any competition, it wasn't like Laurel and Felicity were enemies, sworn forever to fight each other for Oliver's affections. The image of the two of them duking it out on these very mats filled her head before she shook it aside. Now she was just being silly.

"I can see why you'd rather Diggle train you. Oliver means well but I think he might be overdoing it. I was skeptical when he offered to teach me at first, but for different reasons. Now I wish that my original fear was right, I think I might just fall apart completely." Laurel laughed softly and shook her head, a few strands of her brown hair falling loose from its ponytail.

Felicity simply smiled back, her eyes quickly flying over to John whose lips were pursed and brow furrowed in concentration. She could almost hear just how much thougt he was putting into Laurel's words.

"John can be pretty brutal too," Felicity piped up, and her ruse worked. John raised his eyes to look at her and then quickly narrowed them, playfully daring her to continue.

Absolutely sure that she would be paying for it in a couple moments, but determined to be as friendly to Laurel as possible, Felicity raised her arm and showed her a bruise just below her shoulder. "This is from a week and half ago when I messed up and he ended up hitting me there." The bruise was yellowing now, only slightly purple around the edges, but the discolored area was still big enough that it's initial size and "severity" could still be made out.

Laurel hissed appreciatively and raised her leg, a similar bruise located just above her shin. "I tried kicking him and he punched my leg away, I distinctly remember having to limp home that night."

The two women laughed in unison, and Felicity felt proud of herself. She was a grown adult, and was more than capable of schooling her reactions and emotions. It wasn't a if Laurel had ever done anything to her on purpose. Her only fault was that she was the woman Oliver loved, something Felicity was sure she would always be slightly jealous of.

"Felicity!" John's voice, now loud enough that Felicity was positive he had repeated her name at least a couple times before, disturbed her concentration.

She raised her hand and pushed her glasses up her nose even thought they were already in the place she liked them. It was just something she did without thinking about it until after she ha done it. "What's up?"

John raised an eyebrow at her attempted nonchalance, clearly not believing her.

"You've been staring at the mat for twenty minutes, and don't try to tell me you've been working. You haven't touched your keyboard and the screens already went dark.

To her chagrin Felicity realized he was right, and quickly tapped a couple buttons to bring the screens back to life. "Care to share your thoughts?" John prompted.

She regarded him for a second, before deciding that this - what she was thinking - was just not worth the trouble of bothering him with it too.

He frowned at her as she shook her head and took a couple steps towards her. "You know you can always share what you're thinking with me, no matter what it is?"

Her response was forgotten as Oliver came up behind him, brow furrowed in curiosity and his lips turned just slightly down at the corners.

"Everything okay?" he asked, his gaze focused on Felicity.

Somehow this made it worse, and Felicity felt herself tense up as he looked at her. Not this time however. She wouldn't fall victim to that look of concern on his face. Not now when she knew all too well just how little it actually meant.

"Everything is fine," she insisted and gave them both a looked that left absolutely no room for doubt. Whatever it was that was bothering her, they wouldn't so much as hear a word of it, at least not tonight.

She turned her attention back to her computer and saw that the image of a woman was front and center.

Her program had finally done its job. She shooed the both of them away, ignoring the look they exchanged as she did so, and focused on the small picture.

It had been taken by the camera of an ATM as she walked by what must have been a bank. Her hands quickly flew across the keyboard as she typed furiously, watching as the image was enhanced as much as she could make it.

While it was still not as crystal clear as she would like it to be, the picture was still more than she could have hoped for. Felicity knew that whoever she was, the woman was drop dead gorgeous. Her skin was a delicate and pretty ivory, the curtains of dark hair that framed her face in stark contrast to the lightness of her skin. She had almond shaped eyes and perfectly shaped nose, small and demure and as perfectly proportioned as the rest of her appeared to be.

But what struck Felicity the most was the image of the owl on a necklace that hung from neck. Unlike her coin, the necklace was made from delicately woven metal, that only made the shape of the owl and the circle around it.

She gasped excitedly and zoomed in the necklace, finally able to look at the words that were scratched onto the bottom half of the metal circlet. Within a few moments Felicity had managed to decipher the entirety of the phrase and nearly shook with excitement at the translation she had been able to procure.

"Daughters of Wisdom"

She was probably being childish. Scratch that, she knew for a fact that she was being childish, but there was something about this little tidbit of information that she couldn't bring herself to share with John and Oliver, at least not yet.

The looks of confusion that had decorated their faces was the only thing that let her know she at least had managed to fool them. Felicity wasn't quite sure for how long exactly, but she knew that it would at least be long enough for her to think of some sort of excuse.

It was silly really, but she almost felt like the coin and its inscription were sacred somehow. Showing it to her partners wasn't something that she was comfortable doing just yet. And it scared her.

Sure there were things she wasn't always comfortable telling Oliver about, even after he had let her know that she could always open up to him. It was easier said than done. John on the other hand was her confidant, she felt more comfortable telling him the things that normally made her cringe if she even thought about sharing them with Oliver. Not necessarily because she trusted him more, or because she loved or cared about him more than she did Oliver, but simply because wasn't in love with him. Not that she was in love with Oliver. Of course not. She was attracted, there was no denying that, and there was definitely something about the way he talked to her that sent her heart racing in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with his looks and was elicited simply because of the kind of person he was. But that definitely didn't mean she was in love with him... Right?

She shook her head vehemently as she walked up the stairs and pushed her glasses up her nose. That kind of convoluted thinking would give her a headache in a way that code and breaking firewalls never could.

Verdant was still empty, but she knew that the club wouldn't remain like that for long. Even after Thea had left Starling City, Oliver had found someone trustworthy to run the club. It was after all, one of the many things that had been taken from him when his family company had been seized, and then returned when Isabel Rochev died and he had managed to regain it. Not alone of course, but he had worked harder than any of them to get it back.

Knowing that she could simply erase the footage from the cameras later, Felicity made her way into small cellar where all the best bottles of wine were stored. They weren't used as often as the hard liquor and champagne that usually flowed like water in the club, but they were there in case someone wanted one. And right now, she didn't just want one, she desperately needed one.

She picked one up at random and stuffed it in her large purse. There was no need to check what kind it was. Whichever it was would be ridiculously expensive and probably more than she could ever afford off her old IT salary.

Sometimes being her had its merits, and she knew that no one would begrudge her this one bottle. But to be safe would still delete the footage later. Why take the risk right?

Fifteen minutes later and she was struggling with the door to her apartment. Four months the darned thing had been practically broken and refused to simply do what it was designed to do and let her in when she put the key in and twisted it in the right direction. That was how door locks were supposed to work. Only this one had decided that it would simply give her the trouble of not taking her key - even though she knew it was the right one - and when it finally did, force her to wriggle vviolently it until she opened the door. Getting the key out again was an entirely different matter.

"Need a hand there?"

She whirled around at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. Instantly John's training kicked in - along with her doubts from earlier, but she attempted to shrug these away for the moment - and she took in her surroundings. The hallway was still empty, the only new feature was the man that hung out by his doorway. Behind him were bright yellow walls and something that looked like a painting hung from the wall. Her eyes however, were instantly drawn to the man that took up most of the space there.

He was handsome, undeniably so. His dark brown hair was short on the sides, but the top was just long enough that he could comb it back into a look that was both stylish and easy. A neatly trimmed beard covered his cheeks and chin and connected to an equally trim mustache. The light brown cardigan and black button down shirt he wore were casual, as were the dark blue jeans that hung rather well from his narrow waist.
A blush that shouldn't have been there forced its way onto Felicity's cheeks, and she swallowed thickly before replying. "The door's a little broken. I think it hates me." Her voice was more steady than she expected it to be, and she felt herself relax a little.

The stranger chuckled and raised his eyebrows at her in amusement. For some reason this only made her blush a little more, and she cleared her throat as quietly as she could. He padded over to her barefoot, and Felicity held her breath as he brushed past her. He jiggled the doorknob a little before deftly twisting it open, the door flying forward to reveal the - thankfully clean - interior of her apartment.

She bit down on her lip and gave him a look that conveyed nothing but pure embarrassment. He raised an eyebrow at her but otherwise didn't say anything.

Suddenly a thought struck her and before she could stop herself or examine it more closely she was whirling around.

"Are you new here?" She almost felt like she was just a spectator, watching her body interact with the beautiful stranger but at the same time coudln't stop the words from flowing out of her mouth without her permission.

"Yes, I moved here just last week."

"How about I make you some dinner, welcome you to the building?"

On the outside she might have appeared normal and relaxed, but her insides were raging in a battle of wills. One side of her wanted him to say no, to give her a look of scorn and rejection and simply walk back to his apartment, shut the door, and effectively end all future communication between them. That was the part of her that always screamed for her to get just a little bit closer to Oliver, to open up just a little more, to become just a little more intertwined with him.

The other part was the more logical side of her. The one that constantly screamed for her to move on, because there was just no way that he would ever look at her the way she wanted him to.

The decision was taken out of her hands as soon as she made her offer to him.

"That sounds great!" He sounded genuinely happy with her offer, and she found herself grinning at him just as happily.

"Great," she dug into her purse and pulled out the bottle of wine that she had taken from the nightclub and held it up. "I'm not sure what it is, but friends tell me its good, and I'm feeling like a glass tonight would be perfect."

If possible his smile grew just a little wider, and the effect on his features wasdevastating. He looked even more handsome. "Even better."

"Sorry about lying to you." She apologized for the umpteenth time that night. Felicity had already lost count of how many times she had apologized to him, but she was hoping that maybe this time he would just accept.

"I told you it's fine," he chuckled at her as he pointed his chopsticks in her direction, holding a rather delicate looking noodle between them. "Chinese food just so happens to be my favorite type of takeout."

She had gone into her apartment after he accepted her offer and eagerly walked over to her fridge. Only to find it sadly and rather pathetically empty as she swung the stainless steel door open. Between her day job, night job, and everything else that always fell in between, she had forgotten to do her grocery shopping.

Again.

She had spent the better part of the last hour apologizing to him as he simply took out his cell phone and ordered them some take out, but not before quickly asking her if she liked Chinese food.

And then he had simply shaken his head and refused to so much as let her pull out her wallet when the delivery boy showed up with their food.

That of course had sent her apologies onto another level.

"Now please stop apologizing, or I'm going to think you regret asking me to share dinner with you tonight." She pursed her lips and regarded him silently.

"I think the actual offer was to cook you dinner."

He raised his eyebrow at her as he chewed his food.

"Then maybe you can cook me dinner this Sunday."

It was her turn to raise her eyebrows at him as she sat back in her chair.

"Really?" She asked, trying and failing to fight the smile that worked its way onto her mouth.

"I mean, if you really want to apologize for lying to me." He shrugged and laughed at her falsely undignified expression as he turned the tables on her.

"Alright then, but get ready for a string bean casserole that's going to blow you away. It will literally make you moan." She blushed again and began to back pedal as quickly as possible. "Not in, you know, a weird way or anything, not that you moan, it's just that it's really good and it's taken three generations on my mothers side to get the recipe right. Oh god you probably think I'm really weird now." Her face fell into her hands and she closed her eyes as she waited for him to criticize her.

After he didn't say anything for a minute she looked up again, only to find him holding his chopsticks loosely in his right hand as he chewed on his full lower lip. "I love string bean casserole." He declared before picking up a steamed piece of broccoli and popping it into his mouth. He moaned then, making a show of the sound and rolling his eyes appreciatively before winking at her.

The sound of her laughter almost drowned out the sound of someone knocking on her front door. He twisted in his seat and looked at the door. "Were you expecting someone?" he asked her, his eyebrows furrowed together as he turned around again to regard her. She shook her head and got to her feet quickly.

"No that I know of," she declared, before quickly checking her phone again to make sure she hadn't missed any calls, texts, or appointments.

Her phone was mercifully clear, and she walked over to the door quickly as the sound of someone knocking on it - harder and more incessantly this time - rang through her apartment again.

"Oliver?"

Oliver had never before come to her front door, in fact she wasn't sure he had ever been over, much less aware of where she lived.

Of course he knows where you live silly, Felicity thought to herself. Despite knowing this, she couldn't help but feel slightly taken aback at his sudden appearance.

"Felicity," he spoke her name in that strange way of his. The one he only used when he was being gentle, kind in that way that made her knees wobbly. His voice caressed her name, implying something that Felicity knew was anything but the truth.

"What can I help you with?" She asked, her tone betraying the hint of anger she felt as she remembered the original reason she had felt distraught.

He frowned at her, the gentle smile falling from his face as he regarded her closely. She was sure that there was nothing about her that could betray everything she had been thinking that afternoon, or what she had neglected to tell them. They knew better than to touch her computers, but even so she had been sure to lock all the information she had discovered away for the time being.

"I was hoping you and I could-"

Whatever he was about to say was interrupted as he looked past her and zeroed in on the man standing at the entrance to her kitchen. She turned around and saw William regarding the both of them silently. His expression was openly curious, but she knew that even his friendliness would be deterred from the hostility she could feel emanating from Oliver.

Hostility she couldn't quite understand.

"Let's talk out in the hallway," she insisted before moving past Oliver, her shoulder brushing against his side as she walked out of her apartment. "I'll be right back," she tossed over her shoulder as a last thought. She took a couple paces until she was pressed up against the wall opposite her door, and crossed her arms over her chest.

She raised her eyebrows questioningly as she waited for him to speak.

The first words that came out of his mouth were definitely not the ones she was expecting. "Who is that?" He asked, jamming his thumb behind him and pointing to the now closed door to her apartment.

"A friend," she said simply, for some reason feeling affronted at having to answer to him.

"What kind of friend?"

She scoffed and pushed off the wall, taking a couple steps to her right as she effectively put more distance between herself and Oliver.

"The friendly kind." She declared, and for once - in what felt like a lifetime of having to back pedal as her lighting fast brain somehow failed to keep control of her mouth - found herself not caring at the possible implications of what she had said.

Implications that apparently were not lost on Oliver as he scowled at her.

"We don't know anything about him." His "we" obviously referring to himself and John.

"Believe it or not Oliver I am allowed to have a life outside of you."

She hadn't meant for her words to hurt him, she had simply wanted to say them aloud, as if by doing so she could make them come true. And for the first time since she had met Oliver, she found herself wishing that she wasn't so irrevocably involved in his life.

"I know," he choked out. The hurt in his eyes was almost too much for Felicity to bare, but she held her ground, somehow knowing that the outcome of her discussion with him would forever change their dynamic. She wanted distance.

Distance was finally a good thing in her eyes.

"Then make it quick Oliver, I have to get back to my friend."

A muscle in his jaw ticked, and his fist slowly clenched and unclenched as he carefully looked over her head.

"I don't think it matters anymore."

Now it was her turn to feel hurt, but she quickly shoved the sharp feeling of her heart being squeezed aside. She didn't have a right to feel hurt when she was the one pushing him away.

"Okay then." She regarded him sadly, hoping that he would look into her eyes and let her look into him. If he could give her this, then maybe...

But he turned around and walked away, leaving her standing alone, her heart beating rapidly as if it knew that its owner was walking away from it.

This chapter definitely turned into a bit of a monster, but I'm happy with the way it turned out.

Patience my darlings, all things in good time. Felicity's reasons for being distraught will be revealed in the next chapter, as well as some other key points.

Please review darlings, this is probably the hardest fanfic I've attempted to write so far, and I could use all the feedback/help/love you can send me. Remember, reviews are love.