Onwards!
V.
Oliver
His muscles were practically screaming in protest, but Oliver was good at ignoring the feeling. Exhaustion was simply a part of life, and it was something that he had long ago learned how to ignore. On the island it hadn't mattered if he was tired, or starving, or even right at the brink of death, when he needed to fight he had to fight, and when he needed to run he had to run.
Even after all of these years and the events of the last year Slade's voice still spoke out in his head whenever a situation would have him reacting in exactly the way he had been trained to. Slade's voice berated him, offered him advice, and often laughed at him and some of his more idiotic choices.
Oliver knew that he shouldn't be grateful to hear his voice after everything, but that had been a different Slade. The one who had been his brother and comrade in much the way Diggle was now.
Diggle, whose daughter was due any day now.
The staff in his arms cracked and shattered in two as he delivered a particularly harsh blow to the figure he used for training. He threw the two halves away and started to use his fists, delivering punch after punch as the sweat continued to drip down his body.
He had hoped that the physical strain would help him focus on something other than the multitude of problems he was facing with his team. He had reached a conclusion about Diggle, and he knew that his partner would not appreciate the decision that had been made for him. The man was nothing if not stubborn and proud, but Oliver knew that he was making the right choice. Diggle had something that Oliver could never have, and he didn't want his mission getting in the way of that for him, who deserved so much better than what he had been given so far and was finally about to receive it.
But while his dilemma over Diggle was a shadow on his mind, there was another problem that had him down in the foundry taking his frustrations out on the training dummy. The sight of that man standing in Felicity's apartment was seared into his memory. He had seen red, and at the time he had wanted nothing more than to beat the man soundly and toss him out of the apartment he had absolutely no business being in.
His knuckles had not been bandaged, and blood flowed freely now from the cuts and abrasions he had succeeded in making with his relentless training.
It was obvious that Felicity harbored some feelings for him, or at least had. In his worst moments she had moved him in a way that nothing else could and he had seen the affection in her eyes. Affection that he had refused to recognize for the better part of two years. Felicity was good. There was just something about her that spoke of softness, innocence, and kindness. He wouldn't - couldn't - risk something like that by possibly allowing himself to become involved more than he already was.
Though he had used it to his advantage at the time, the very realization that simply telling her that he loved her had made Felicity into a target for the man who hated him the most was terrifying.
He heard a crack and a searing pain shot up his hand. Oliver turned away from the training dummy and flexed the hand he had injured, he knew he would have to stop now. An injured hand was no good when he needed to use his bow, and if he kept going it would only get worse.
The knowledge that he had no right to her was blatant in every thought he had, and he had learned long ago that emotions were irrational. The wrong one at the wrong time could get you killed. But he couldn't seem to stop himself from wanting so desperately to allow those feelings to simply be.
She had been quiet the entire day. Something that was highly unusual for her, but he had decided to simply let her be. There had been something different between them ever since she and Diggle had run into Laurel and him in the middle of their training. Diggle had asked if they could join and he had taken one look at her. One look had been enough for him to know that he could never train her. The thought of possibly laying a hand on her, even if it was to teach her how to defend herself, was something he couldn't even bring himself to contemplate thoroughly. Even more so than that, to train someone he had to see them as an enemy. To know which way someone would attack them so he could teach them to react accordingly. He had to see them as a target. And he absolutely refused to look at Felicity that way. Not her of all people.
Felicity
It had been five days since she had invited William over to her apartment for dinner, and so far Felicity was absolutely certain of three things.
The first was that William was perhaps the most open and secret-less person she had met in what seemed almost entirely too long. It made her feel slightly guilty, knowing that she would always keep the secret of the foundry and the team from him, but after so many other times, she had grown accustomed to brushing those feelings aside when it came to her nighttime job. Unlike her though, William responded to everything with an honesty that she had initially had trouble accepting as normal. She was so used to the world of secrets and lies that someone like him seemed strange to her.
Strange in an incredible way.
The second was that William was a lot smarter than she had initially anticipated, and had even been able to understand some of the things she said to him when she got started on her computers. The glassy eyed look that usually colored everyone else's eyes remained absent from his, and she had been ecstatic that he asked her questions whenever something didn't make sense to him. Normally people would smile and nod when they didn't understand something, and that angered her more than anything else. If someone wasn't going to pay attention they should at least have the decency to admit it.
The third was that he did not like to beat around the bush, and that was why she was currently sitting at her desk practically vibrating with anticipation.
The day after their take-out dinner at her apartment he had asked her out on a date. A real date. Summoning every bit of self control that she had - especially over her mouth - Felicity had managed a simple yes.
While her declaration that she had a life outside of the Arrow and his crusade had been mostly false at the time (because seriously what else did she do besides that and watch season after season of every show that caught her interest on Netflix?) she was determined to make it true now. William was just a very happy way of doing so.
She could feel it again, the slight crawl of her skin as she sensed Oliver's eyes on her. Fighting down the shiver that threatened to shake her she focussed on the coin in her hands. She kept waiting for the information she had learned to just come out of her like it always did, but something held her back, and she didn't have the slightest clue as to what. She tore her gaze from the coin in her fingers to look at Oliver through the glass walls that separated her desk from his office. He was staring at his tie with an intense interest that instantly let her know that he had looked away from her the moment she had turned her head.
The small smile that spread across her lips died quickly. His avoidance was exactly why she was upset with him now. She couldn't shake the feeling that he had been on the verge of saying something important that day in her hallway, but he had once again decided to simply avoid talking. Oliver was brave when it came to many things, but dealing with friends and family was something that she had quickly discovered was something that left him out of his element.
The alarm on her phone went off, signaling that it was the end of her workday. On days like this, when she had no choice but to be near him when she so desperately wished for distance, she found herself wishing she still worked as a tech support and sales clerk... and those had been particularly dark days.
She knew he had resumed watching her the moment she began to gather her things. If anything, leaving exactly on time was not something that she usually did. Normally she would stay as long as he did, sometimes even longer as she worked ahead so as to free her weekend of work. But today she was eager to get home and get ready for her dinner date. While William was impeccably charming and would no doubt say something nice about her appearance, she still felt like she owed it to him to make it easy for him to say such things and not make him a liar.
And so her things were gathered in record time, the Wisdom Coin (as she had taken to calling it) clutched safely in her fist, over sized purse that had just enough space for her laptop tossed over her shoulder, and headed towards the executive elevator.
She pretended she didn't see him get up the instant he realized she was leaving. It really was very strange of her to leave so early. The sharp staccato of her heels clicking against the floor was all she let herself focus on, the sight of Oliver walking briskly towards her in her peripheral vision something she didn't let herself think about. The doors dinged open immediately after she pressed the button, and she stepped in. They didn't close quickly enough for her, and she looked up just in time to see him still walking towards her, his mouth opening to say something.
The doors closed just as her name began to fall from his lips, "Feli-".
Oliver
It was easier to pretend that it hadn't hurt. Once so very rare in his life, rejection was much more familiar to him now. It was the product of his secrets, the darkness that he knew constantly surrounded him and scarred off those who made the mistake of thinking they could be near him without getting hurt.
He knew she had seen him, the tense set of her shoulders betraying exactly what she was feeling. Oliver couldn't quite remember when he had learned to read her so well. What every little expression meant, what it meant when she worried her full bottom lip with her teeth, what each sigh (because there was a variety of them: tired, frustrated, resigned, happy, the list was endless) meant. All he knew was that he could read her now. It was something he liked about his friendship with her, something that was just so… solid.
She was a constant. Someone who could be trusted, was invaluable, and could be turned to in times of need. Felicity alone knew him and understood him in a way that took him entirely too long to realize that he loved. What this left him wondering was whether he was in love with Felicity. He loved her, of course he did. But love was tricky, it had many different faces, and despite all the experience he had garnered over years and years, even his own feelings sometimes confused him.
So yes, it was easier to pretend that her ignoring him didn't hurt. But at the moment it wasn't something the sharp twist in his chest let him do. He debated going after her for a quick second, before deciding that it was probably better to give her space.
He made his way back to his desk and plopped himself down on his chair. Already the office seemed lonelier without her presence, without the rapid clicking on keyboards as her hands flew across them with a speed that made his with a bow and arrow look amateurish at best.
The cell phone in his hand seemed at least ten times heavier than it really was. He unlocked it quickly and pulled up the contact of the one person he felt could give him some type of advice.
The phone went to voicemail, but he wasn't really surprised. Despite her many texts about her current location, she never answered.
"Thea... hey." His mouth felt dry, and the lump in his throat felt particularly thick. Ever since he returned she had begged him to open up to her, and now here he was hoping desperately that she would take pity and answer his questions and doubts. "I'm not really sure what to say..." he paused again and counted his own heart beat.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
"It's hard for me to explain. I just... I need some help with something and I'm afraid I'm a little out of my element here. Please... call me back Thea." He left the unspoken words linger on his mouth for a second, wanting to say "I miss you" but at the same time unable to admit it.
He ended the call and stared at his phone.
Three hours later it pinged as he walked over to gather his supplies to sharpen his arrows. He pulled it out quickly and starred at the screen curiously.
She hadn't called back, but Thea knew him well, perhaps more than he gave her credit for.
The text was simple and short, but for some reason he felt like she had given him the answer he had refused to accept was the only one left. "Let them in Ollie."
Felicity
Four Months Later-
She gave an appreciative twirl as she looked in the mirror. The dress she had picked for tonight was one of her favorites. A deep cerulean that shimmered like water whenever she moved and seemed to flow in her stillness. She had saved for the better part of three months for the dress, and she was happy to finally have an excuse to wear it. William had asked her to dinner yet again - with the same bashful expression on his face as always, despite the fact that no matter how many times he asked she had always said yes - and told her that they were going somewhere fancy. He tried to take her to nice places as often as he could, but she kept telling him it wasn't necessary. A simple dinner at the Big Belly Burger was all she really needed to feel satisfied.
Still, it didn't stop him from trying for the fancy places as often as he could swing them, and then refusing to let her help pay. "Please, I insisted we come here, let it be my treat." When he wasn't looking she usually snuck the tip he had put down back into his jacket and left her own cash behind for the server.
The blush that colored her cheeks was definitely not new when it came to him, but at the same time she didn't feel embarrassed for it anymore. She was surprisingly articulate when she was around William, he was just so calm and dependable, and she was sure that was the main reason she suddenly developed a brain-to-mouth filter when she was around him. The pace of his life was turtle speed compared to that of Oliver and John's, and she found it… refreshing.
She knew should feel guilty for feeling so. That was one part of her double life that she had never been quite able to get over, and it was how out of balance she seemed to feel on occasion. Not as if she didn't belong, because John and Oliver always did their best to make sure she felt like she did, but simply the knowledge that she wasn't cut from the same cloth they were.
Even Roy, who had been a part of the team for an even smaller amount of time than she, seemed to fit in more than she did. Felicity wasn't as strong as they were, as capable of compartmentalizing and rationalizing through everything, especially in life or death situations, at least when she was on the field. Safe behind her computers was another story all together, and it was there that she felt her most useful.
They had praised her, but she knew that the time with the Clock King had been a fluke, she hadn't been allowed to think, she had simply run, pushed Sara, and pressed her tablet. Nothing more than a fluke.
In William she found the sense of security she had been looking for without even realizing it.
The doorbell rang, and she felt her heart skip a beat in that way that had her feeling elated and guilty all at the same time. Elated because she truly did like William. Guilty because she didn't like him as much as she knew she could if it wasn't for…
She shook her head vehemently, risking loosening the elegant bun with just a few stray strand framing her face that had taken her what seemed like forever to get just right. The door flew open as she eagerly thrust it aside, and the smile that spread across her face showed nothing of the guilt she had been thinking of not two seconds ago.
She was discovering quickly that William was beautiful not just physically, but a internally as well. Sometimes she would stare at her phone, pondering just what to text him back after he had sent her a new text. Completely out of the blue and unexpected the first time it had happened, but something she looked forward to every day now. The first one had been a paragraph about something that had just occurred that he found particularly humorous, she had responded quickly, eager to hear more. And that had been just the beginning. Nearly every day he sent her a new one, always something funny that would make her smile or laugh.
Felicity wasn't quite sure why she found that particular trait so charming. Maybe because she rarely got any messages that weren't urgent ones that required her to hack her way into some government agency or other, but it had quickly become one of her favorite things about him.
William blew out a low whistle as he took her in, his eyes widening appreciatively as he took her in. It had a deep v-neck that showed just enough of her cleavage to be classy while still somewhat provocative, the sleeves simple straps of cloth that wrapped around her arms just below her shoulders and connected int he middle with a small bow. She grinned at him and gave him a once over too, pursing her lips.
"Not liking what you're seeing?" He asked, his eyebrow raised questioningly at her. She simply shrugged wrinkled her nose in mockingly.
"Don't know, guess you'll have to wait to find out." William nodded solemnly and stretched out his arm, offering her his hand. She took it happily and hummed with approval as his warm large, warm hand wrapped gently around her comparatively tiny one. She grabbed her purse from the table beside her doorway and checked quickly to make sure she had everything she needed.
After locking her door behind her she wrapped her arm around his and leaned into his side, walking at a comfortable pace next to him as he led them to the elevator. It was in that moment that she noticed just one more thing about him, and that was how easily the contact came to them both. She didn't think twice about it, she simply reached out and touched and connected.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked, his frown even more upsetting to her because of the bright smile that had preceded it.
"Us," she answered simply.
"And that makes you sad?"
She gave him a smile that she hoped portrayed everything she wanted to say, but was sure it was definitely too much to say out loud so soon.
"It makes me happy that it's so easy, it just seems like it works. I was thinking about how it's never been like this before. I wasn't sad because of us, I was sad because up until now I'd never had it before, and it made me realize that it's something I could have never realized I actually needed."
"That's a lot to think about."
"It is, but thanks to you I think I finally have enough time to think what everything really means."
"Good or bad?" He looked genuinely worried, and she giggled shyly at him before reaching up to swipe a stray hair that escaped his well groomed do.
"Good."
"So if you don't mind my asking, why are you Oliver Queen's executive assistant when your career is in IT?"
Felicity honestly wasn't surprised that he had just come out with the question. It was how it normally worked. There was no small talk, no easing into things. They simply started talking, about anything and everything. Childhood adventures, teenage mistakes, college shenanigans, future plans, absolutely everything.
She appraised him for a quick second, before deciding to tell him the truth. At least enough of it so that she wasn't a liar, but omitted the stuff she knew he could never know.
"Before Oliver took over Queen Consolidated he ran the night club Verdant, when he needed someone to help him through some of the more difficult technological aspects they sent him to me. I guess it just kind of stuck that whenever he needed an IT expert, I was his go-to person. After he became CEO he needed an assistant. So I became his Girl Wednesday."
William gave her a humorous look before chuckling, his nose wrinkling in that attractive way of his whenever he found something funny. "Isn't it supposed to be Girl Friday?"
"Apparently Oliver Queen needed one Wednesday."
He shook his head and kept laughing appreciatively, his shoulders shaking slightly. She grinned at him and felt herself relax just a little, not having realized before just how tense she got whenever he asked questions that involved her nightlife.
"Are you happy there?" His question was innocent enough, but suddenly she felt tired as she thought about how best to answer him. She knew the exhaustion wasn't from him, but rather the slew of emotional ups and downs she had experienced over the last couple months when it came to Oliver Queen.
She held up a finger as she spooned some of the soup in front of her into her mouth, taking the her time as she tasted the broth and let the small bits of carrot. She thought about how best to answer him, because in all reality… no she wasn't happy. At least not there, but unhappy wasn't exactly the right term either.
"It's hard to explain." She declared finally. He opened his mouth to say something but she shook her head and held up her hand, silently telling him that he would still get his answer. "I'm there because I'm needed, because Oliver is a good friend and I can't leave him to the corporate wolves just yet. Especially not after he just got the company back. For a second there we were afraid we'd lose the board to Ray Palmer, a corporate tycoon that wanted the company. I'll be there as long as it's the right thing to do and the right place to be. But I plan on going back to IT as soon as possible. Maybe not in the same company… who knows, maybe I'll start my own IT company." The last bit surprised her, mostly because it was a dream of hers from long ago. One she had almost completely forgotten about, and one that surprised her to realize she still wanted.
"Smoak Enterprises, has a nice ring to it."
She looked up from her spoon, having preferred to look at it instead of him. Sometimes the openness in his eyes was a bit too much for her. She simply wasn't used to it.
But she looked up now, and felt her heart give a little swell as realized that he never did judge. If he wanted to know, it was simply because he wanted to know her better.
Unfortunately a phone rang out at that moment, and she blinked and realized that the moment was quickly lost. Even after all this time, she still found it hard to stay in moments like these long. She was used to being kept at bay, only let in occasionally, and then quickly showed the way out.
Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he pulled his phone out. He'd never done that before, but then again his phone had never used that particular ring alert either. The frown that decorated his features was also new, and she saw the worry that lit up his eyes.
"It's okay," she said, reaching across the table to give his fingers a firm squeeze. "You can go if you need to." Felicity wasn't sure why she said that, nothing he had done in the short three seconds since looking at his phone implied that he needed to leave, but she felt it was the right thing to say.
"It's my mom… I'm sorry I really don't want to leave, but I have to go."
"It's okay," she repeated, smiling sadly at him. Whatever it was clearly had him worried enough to leave, and the thought of even holding such a thing against him seemed repugnant to him. Family should always come first, and she was sure that if she had any real family left she would do so as well.
He leaned over the table and gave her a quick kiss. Her breath caught in her throat, much like it did every time he kissed her. It was just one more thing she hadn't gotten used to, but that she liked more than she could ever admit.
The warmth of where his lips had pressed against hers tingled slightly as she watched him leave quickly, but not before stopping by the hostess and whisper something in her ear. Her phone rang from somewhere inside her purse and she looked down to pull it out. By the time she looked up again he was gone.
Not feeling particularly hungry anymore twirled her spoon around in the broth slowly. The food here was ridiculously expensive, and she was determined to eat all of it if only to make the trip worthwhile.
"Is this seat taken?"
Her heart gave a painful little squeeze as she recognized the voice. She tore her gaze away from her soup and looked up to see Oliver standing behind the chair that William had vacated not ten minutes ago.
Not for the first time she wondered if he picked out his own suits or if someone else did his shopping for him. Each one seemed to fit him perfectly and was the epitome of sophistication and class. Oliver carefully shopping for suits just didn't match her perception of him, and she found it comical to even entertain the vision of him doing so.
As it was she didn't let the amusement she felt with the thought show. Her mouth set into a thin line she nodded. Oliver took the seat without hesitation, and flagged down a waiter.
"How did you know I was here? Better yet, how did you just get in like nothing. I'm pretty sure William made these reservations three weeks ago."
Oliver said nothing, and instead raised an eyebrow at her.
"Right, you're Mr. Oliver Queen."
"It has its advantages some times." His tone didn't imply any sort of smugness, and she took it for what it meant. He wasn't showing off or even trying to, it was simply a fact. His last name opened doors for him that would normally not open for just anyone.
"And the disadvantages?" Felicity's voice was quiet, certain that her question would receive an incredibly vague answer that would simultaneously respond to her unspoken one. The past couple of months had changed the dynamic between them. The shaky but easy friendship that they had established over the course of two years was nearly inexistent. Aside from her helping him as his assistant and as the nighttime tech expert, they rarely exchanged words.
Felicity had to constantly remind herself that this was what she had wanted. She hand wanted distance, the lines to be drawn clearly. Sometimes, before she had decided to on the distance, unspoken maybes had hung between them, and they were simply something she couldn't take anymore.
So when Oliver opened his mouth and answered her, it was not what she was expecting at all.
"Being in the public eye, the lack of privacy when it comes to certain things I'd rather keep to just friends and family. That was maybe the hardest thing growing up. I couldn't do anything, especially not mistakes, without the entirety of Starling City knowing about it."
His eyes were clouded as he seemed to remember what his life had been like prior to Lian Yu. She frowned at him, his honest reply confusing her. This wasn't what it was supposed to be like. She had worked hard to make sure to put distance between them, so what was he doing now?
"Oliver, how did you know I was here?" She repeated the question he had ignored.
"I always know where you are." That got her. She blanched at his words, and leaned back in her seat, her arms crossed firmly over her chest as her jaw clenched and unclenched.
"That's an invasion of privacy."
He merely shrugged, and didn't even have the decency to look apologetic.
"I feel better when I know where you are."
"And do you know where Diggle is all the time?"
He looked her dead in the eye, his vibrant blue eyes - the same color of her dress she realized - piercing.
"No."
She took a deep breath, her shoulders shaking with the emotion Felicity was hiding so hard suppress. What are you doing Oliver? She couldn't handle it again. She refused to let herself be let in, only to be pushed away as soon as she got too deep, she doubted her heart could handle it.
So she went with the only thing she could do. Get answers to her questions. Somehow she felt that this, their faux shared dinner, would change everything again. "Why are you here Oliver?"
He frowned at her then, his head doing that cute tilting to the side thing it did whenever he regarded her.
Again, his answer was not one she was prepared to hear. "I came to see you."
Her mouth fell open and her eyebrows rose, she was sure the expression looked comical, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
"We've been… distant for a while now. I wanted to talk to you."
"About what?"
He took a deep breath, biting his bottom lip and then letting it go as he blew the air out. "About us."
She smiled at him, but the smile was a sad one, because she already knew she wouldn't like the outcome of this conversation.
"There is no 'us' Oliver."
It was his turn to smile at her, but his seemed just a tad bit amused, and she couldn't help the gasp that left her as he answered her. "There's always been an 'us' Felicity. Just not the type of us we bot wanted." The implication of what he was really saying wasn't lost on her.
"Oliver… I don't want hear this."
"I know…"
"Then why?" She pleaded. The uncertainty was starting to wear away at her much more quickly than she thought it would.
"Because I need to say it."
"No." Her voice took on the strength she needed it to, and suddenly she was glad for everything he had done to push her away. It made what she was about to say that much easier.
"Felicity…" his voice was pleading, the look in his eyes one of desperation as he leaned across the table. His hand reached for hers, but she snatched it away, holding it tightly against her chest.
"I can't do this anymore Oliver, I can't."
"Do what Felicity?" He demanded, his jaw tight as he fixed her with an expression that confused her and scarred her and gave her hope all at the same time.
"They maybes Oliver. I know what you're going to say, because I've wanted you to say it for so long, but that's not for you to say. Not anymore."
"Why, because of William?"
"No Oliver!" She practically screamed, and the silence that followed was nearly deafening. Nearly everyone in the restaurant was looking at them now, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
"Then why?"
Her breath came in short angry bursts before she was finally able to say something. "Because of me. Because I don't want to do this with you. Because I can't do this with you. I deserve better. It's taken me a long time to realize it, but I can't go back now. I want someone who will let me in, who won't question whether they're doing the right thing every moment they're with me. I need normal."
Tears began to fall down her cheeks, unbidden and unrestrained, and as much as she knew she needed this, she hated the hurt he saw flash across his face.
"Normal…" he spoke the word as if it was alien to him, his voice cracked just a little at the end.
"I'm sorry," she whispered finally. She reached down and snatched her purse from where it hung from her chair.
Her heart screamed at her as she began to walk away as fast as she could. Why? Why was she walking away when this was what she had wanted for so long? Because she did. She wanted it all, she wanted him, she wanted the foundry, she wanted her team. But how long would it be before it all came crashing down? Before something happened that had Oliver deciding that it was just too dangerous, and that she would be better off not being with him. It was one of his super powers after all, shouldering everything. He wouldn't ask her what she wanted, what she thought was best for her, he would simply make the decision for her.
She wanted it all, but at the same time, she didn't want it at all.
Her doorbell rang for the second time that night, and when she opened it she wasn't sure who she thought she would see.
"Hey."
William stood there, his eyes red and his hair a mess on top of his head, as if he had been running his fingers through it over and over until it no longer was the stylish do he normally kept it in.
"Hey," she responded, opening the door wide for him.
"It's my mom," he said again, but this time the words had a different meaning.
"It'll be okay." It was all she could say, and she hoped that the words would communicate everything she was hoping they would. That she would be there for him, she would support him no matter what, because even though she knew she loved Oliver, there was a part of her heart that cared deeply for William, too. Maybe not love just yet, but she knew it could be.
She led him to her room, and simply held him as he rested his head against her stomach. Soon sleep took them both, and when they woke up in the morning they made love for the first time. It was slow and sweet, and while she didn't see fireworks like she thought she would, she felt her heart swell with emotion as they came together.
This was where she needed to be.
AN: I have updated chapter two to fix the current format of the story. I have also decided to split the story into two main parts as well as give each chapter a name. The first part is called: Felicity Smoak, the second part will be revealed in due time.
Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter.
Reviews are deeply appreciated and craved darlings.