Thanks for being Based.
YamChamp
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Based Bandit Adventures
(Original Story, thatwouldkindabe approved by Akira Toriyama. DO NOT STEAL!)
Chapter 2.
wut uup Rosh!
"WUT UP FAM-LAYYY!" My angelic ass voice sang out, as I kicked open the door to Roshi's house and held my arms up- ready for Real-Nigga hugs. "It's been awhile! How you bin?"
Roshi was the first to greet me with a real-nigga-sage look combo'd with a sage-nod while Krillin, Oolong and that dumbass Turtle waved all happily 'nd shit, sitting around some small traditional-ass table in the front room.
I scoffed like an offended rich-ass european art dealer that just got low-balled for a prized piece for the first time in his boss-ass life, before rolling my eyes then taking a comfortable ass seat next to Roshi- where that nigga hit me with a sage-nod once more. The respect was so real when it came to him that it almost brought me to tears, but it didn't cause I was a real nigga that didn't have time to cry.
"Yoooo~ What-up Yam-Yam!" Krillin hit me with, holding up his right hand as if he were expectin a high-five or any action that woud deem him worth some acknowledgement or any ounce of respect.
I glanced at that nigga for a good 5 seconds before eyeing that nigga up and down like he was crazy, only to later watch that stewie griffin knock-off frown then lower his head and sit his dumbass down.
Oolong awkwardly glanced around the room for a second before releasing nervous chuckles to greet me.
"Heh-heh! SO uh.. Yamcha, how've you been buddy? How's work? I see the Taitans have been winning so many games-"
"My nigga, if you already know we winnin' games, how you gonna ask me hows work and how've I been?" I questioned, watching that hopeless ham-slice cower before me.
"I um- I well uh, i-i"
" UM-WELL!- I UH!- Shut up lil bitch."
I said it in warning. Letting that porky-pig ass nigga know that if he said another word, I'd beat his lil ass.
He got the memo. Cause no less than a second after I said that, he bit his tongue, zipped his lips then looked to his lap like the weak, spineless, worthless waste of space he, I and everyone in the world knew he was.
Thats right.. After I slayed them two, silence finished off the job and came at the meaningless noise coming from both Oolong and Krillin and overkilled their shit that instant. The only thing left that spoke volumes was Roshi's cable and my realness.
". . . ."
"So how you been boy?" Roshi asked without even lookin' at me.
I glanced at him, but not for long as I knew I wasn't at a point in my life where I could look to that nigga eye-to-eye. Besides, he was watching tv, and I didn't want to be rude or weird as fuck by staring at him while he was doing that.
So, like the real Chinese nigga I was, I lowered my head humbly and shrugged my shoulders to his words..
"I've been alright Roshi. Things are good."
"How's work? I've read in the newspaper that your team is winning games."
"Aw yeah, you kno' I been training really hard to be the best. I don't even think I'd make it to the top of the team much less make it in life if it wasn't for you, Rosh'"
Rather than say anything, Roshi nodded. As if he knew I wasn't shit and would be nothing but shit without him. It was fucked up, but completely true. Dude' changed my life- I was nothin but a humble ass Chinese nigga scrappin in dem streets and stealin whatever i could git to have minez and make it, but yeah that all changed with Roshi... and Goku I guess.
"Ayy, speakin' o'dat nigga," I mumbled aloud to myself, but kinda to everyone else cause I wanted them to hear, respect and pay attention to me- A REAL Nigga. "-where Goku at? Ya'll seen'im?"
"Well.." Roshi started, seconds before strokin his sage-beard.
I paid every ounce of the real ass attention I had ever harbored in my being since birth to Roshi- cause I respected that nigga so much and shit. But apparently he didn't know what to say, or didn't have any answers, cause the more attention I paid to that nigga, the longer he stayed silent.
It was weird... but I didn't say ANYTHING.
If anything, I figured it was a test of sorts.. to see if Roshi thought I'd disrespect him or some shit.. pshhh, nah. I wasn't that dumb.. in fact, I wasn't dumb at all.. My intelligence was damn near on Einsteins level, so yeah. That was that.
Anyway, I sat and waited for Roshi to continue speaking, but then rude ass Krillin hopped up instantly speaking with whatever random ass idea in his head.
"Oh! You know what? I think Goku's with Ch-"
I held a hand out to that nigga, I didn't even have to use my words. Krillin knew that my doing that was a silent but humbly polite means to tell him to stop what he was doing that instant..
It was then I watched that bitch-boy lower his head again then sit down and shut up as he had been doing his whole life, and luckily for me, the moment that happened, Roshi spoke.
"..You know what? I think Goku's with Chi-Chi, Yamcha.."
"Oh really?" I let out, finally resting my hand I held to Krillin on the table. "Man, Bro hasn't stopped by at all?"
Roshi shook his head. "You know how that boy is.. he workin and doin' his thing.. he's got a family now Yamcha. Don't tell me you've forgotten..?"
I laughed, smacking my hand on the table a few times before slapping my right knee.
"Oh fuck I almost forgot!"
I was laughin hella hard cause it was just HILARIOUS to me that stupid ass nigga Goku got married hella young and shit- everybody knew that nigga got tricked into marrying Chi-Chi at the tournament of '04 back in the day! Like.. that nigga's mental state when it came to common knowledge was damn near dismal, and that gurl still wanted him!
THEN she chained that nigga down when they had a dumbass, stupid ass, weak ass son a year later! DAMN!
I laughed again, smacked the table again, then slapped my knee again.
That shit was funny.
"Whew! Well good for him. He deserves it." I said with a smile and good energy even though I half-heartedly didn't mean that shit.
Goku had always been givin' me trouble and stealin my shine and shittin' on me since he was a kid even when I was back on the streets strugglin. So I had no problem half-heartedly meaning anything when I spoke to him, or being a nuisance to that nigga in any way.. Matter o' fact.
"Imma visit him 'nd see how bro is doin'." I announced, standing from the table. "It was good seeing you Roshi."
Again that nigga gave me a sage-nod, and in return I bowed my entire body in respect to him.
Krillin jumped up immediately, waving both his arms at me that moment.
" Eu-! L-Later YAMCHa! Catch you la-"
Again, I held my hand out to that certified lameboy and watched him shut up real fast. After that, I turned with the swiftness, allowing my lucious locks and tresses to effortlessly billow around me like I was in a damn L'Oreal hair care commercial and I left the Kame house.
I was on my way to see GOku now to see what was up with that fool and check out his lame ass family.
On the Next Chapter of YamChamp- Based Bandit Adventures:
Things will get pretty based again. Thank you Based God.