AN: everyone - re: "Who's Abbie's affair with? Casey or Serena?"... Hmm, who indeed! ;-) But if you've read "Negotiating", then you'll know... well... you know, expect some twists, turns, and the unexpected ;-). everyone - re: "a double blow for Alex"... Yeah :-(. Some years ago, a friend was diagnosed with a different type of cancer just a few days after her boyfriend had broken up with her to hook up with her 'best friend'. Seems they'd been having an affair behind her back for quite some time :-(. It was a shock to everyone for both the affair and cancer, trust me.

AN2: Wow, I didn't think I'd get such a response. You gals constantly amaze me :-). This story will most likely have smaller chapters than "Negotiating", I'm not sure I could do 2 x 6000+ word chapters at the same time. Heck, writing a single chapter around that length in the space of a week is draining enough. I don't know what the guidelines in the USA are, but 40 is the recommended age to start having mammograms where I'm from, so I'm using that guideline for this story :-)

Olivia wanted to rage at the world.

Firstly for the cold callousness that Abbie had treated Alex with. To cheat once would be classed by some as bad enough, some people might eventually forgive and put it down as an accident, a mistake, or a poor lack of judgement for a moment's pleasure. But to admit that you'd been cheating on someone that you say you love for a year, unforgivable in Olivia's books. Alex didn't deserve to be treated that way, and certainly not by the person that says they supposedly love you. Olivia felt she knew exactly how Alex should be treated, and given the opportunity, she would treat her the love, kindness and respect Alex deserved.

And secondly for the cruelty that was cancer. An indiscriminate disease that didn't care what gender you were; what colour your skin was; what age you were; or what your sexuality was, everyone was fair game for its malice. For a woman, the forms 2 of cancer that could be considered to be cruelest were breast cancer, and uterine cancer. For a man, prostate and testicular cancer would fall into the same category.

After everything Alex Cabot had been through with her double stint in Witness Protection, Olivia knew the blonde ADA didn't deserve anything like this. Not this double whammy.

"Oh my god, Alex. How... I mean when... I-"

Alex explained as she dabbed her eyes with the tissue, "I had a mammogram last week and I got a call back to say there was an abnormality discovered in my left breast compared to the previous time. They were fairly sure it was just a cyst but they wanted to do some followup testing just to be certain. So I had another mammogram 2 days ago, along with an ultrasound, a biopsy and a fine needle aspiration."

"That's why you were away from the office all day Monday?"

"Yeah. I found out just over an hour ago that it's not a cyst but a lump, and not to be alarmed, but there are cancerous cells in the lump. They're classing it as Stage 1."

"You didn't... feel... anything to indicate something was wrong?"

"I've done self exams before, and ah... Abbie definitely 'checked'... on more than one occasion," Alex emphasised with air quotes and gave another halfhearted laugh, "Not recently though, and you can understand why she hasn't. Besides, neither of us would have felt anything because they're saying it's a deep tissue lump, not a surface lump."

"Sooo... what happens now?"

Alex went to stand up, "I get you your warrant."

Liv rolled her eyes at Alex's blasé brush off, stopping her from standing. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"I have to see the surgeon the day after tomorrow," Alex sat back down on the lounge.

"Friday?! Whoa! They're not messing about, are they?"

Alex shook her head, no. "I figure with the lump being small, the best case scenario is a lumpectomy. But I won't know more until I see the surgeon. I don't want to worry myself until I know the facts."

"Does Abbie know about-"

"No! And she's not going to either."

"She deserves-"

"Nothing! She deserves nothing, Olivia. You're the only one that knows right now, and it's going to stay that way. Abbie finds out about this and she'll try and come crawling back because she feels bad. I don't want pity from her, and I don't want her! She made her decision quite clear this morning... well, a year ago if you think about it... and I'm not going to take her back because she feels guilty. I have to worry about me now, and definitely not worry about her and her little fling on the side. I don't want to be wheeled into surgery and have my last thoughts be wondering if she's going to have a sneaky booty call while I'm having bits cut out of me."

Olivia's phone indicated an incoming text message.

Serena Southerlyn. 'Sorry Liv, Can't catch up until weekend now. Busy with work. Rena xo'

Liv saw the message on the screen and immediately slipped the phone back in her pocket.

"You're not going to reply to it?"

"No, it's just Amaro. He'll be wanting to know if I've secured the warrant or not," Olivia lied smoothly. She didn't want to lie to Alex, but she didn't want to lose focus either. Alex was more important than replying to Serena's text. "He's not important right now, you are."

"Liv, you kept me being in Wit Sec a secret for all the time I was in the program, and I thank you for that. I hope you can do the same again with this and not say anything. I don't want anyone knowing about the... cancer... until I know what's going to happen. Even then, I'm not sure I want many people knowing until I'm ready."

"You have my word. You're secret is safe with me."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything you want, Alex."

"Would you consider being my medical proxy and emergency contact? I want to get that amended as soon as possible before I see the surgeon. If you don't want to because you're with Serena now, I'll understand-"

"I don't have any problem being either of those for you. I've known you a lot longer than Serena. And Serena and I aren't serious, we're just casual." Olivia said, mentally adding, 'quite casual, thankfully'.

Alex replied with hint of sadness, "At least one of us still has a woman in their love life."

A pang of guilt hit Olivia, "Like I said, Serena and I are just casually dating. Honestly, I don't think she's the one for me. Don't get me wrong, she's nice and all, but her and I just don't have that... certain connection. No, let me rephrase: I know she's not the one for me. That woman is still out there... somewhere. Maybe I'll find her one day?" She knew she probably shouldn't seeing Alex's relationship with Abbie had only ended that morning, but being it had been 2 long years since she had, Olivia took a chance to flirt with the ADA, "Keep a look out for someone will you?... Just between you and me, I do have a penchant for blondes."

Alex smiled, but then the smile slowly faded away, "I really thought I had that connection and I'd found the one, but I guess she's still out there waiting for me too. I'll keep an eye out for you, Olivia. But I know I won't be looking for a while, and raven haired women are definitely off the table for good. So... Serena's your Ms Right Now, not Ms Right?"

"I think that's the best description," Olivia was quite thankful she was a brunette.

"Liv, can I ask you something else?"

"Sure."

"Will you come with me to the surgeon on Friday afternoon? I think I'll need a good friend for support seeing it won't be Abbie..." Alex trailed off, a few more tears leaking from her eyes.

"Absolutely." Olivia stood up, helped Alex to her feet and then gave the blonde a comforting hug. "Hopefully, finding the lump early will be a big advantage for you."

"Let's hope so... Hey, when was the last time you had a mammogram?"

That wasn't a question Olivia had been expecting, "I... ahh... well... it's been..."

"Been a while?" prompted Alex.

Olivia's eyes wandered the office, "Umm... that's to say..."

"You've never had one, have you?"

The detective's silence was enough the tell Alex the answer.

"Liv!" Alex admonished, "You're older than me! Go and have one as soon as possible! Please tell me you've at least had a pap smear test in recent years?"

"It's been... a little while."

"Damnit Olivia! These sort of tests are important! I don't even want to think what the diagnosis would be if I hadn't that mammogram now!"

Olivia knew Alex was right. If Alex had let the mammogram go another 2 years, who knows what stage her breast cancer would be by that time? Stage 2? Stage 3? Stage 4? "I'll go and have them done, just for you."

"That's very sweet of you to say Detective, but don't do it for me. Do it for yourself!"

"Ok, I promise will. Both as soon as possible."

"Good!" Alex walked back to her desk and gathered her attaché bag, "Once again, I'm really sorry for treating you the way I have been these last 6 months."

"Apology accepted."

"I better go get that warrant for you and Nick. Donnelly would probably be the best judge to see. Can you come over to my place tonight so you can sign the medical proxy and emergency contact paperwork? That is unless you're catching up with Serena?"

"No, not tonight. She's busy with work until the weekend," Olivia remembered the text she had received as she walked over to Alex's office door. When Alex and Olivia exited the ADA's office, they were met by Casey Novak.

"Casey, how did the arraignment go?" Olivia asked.

"Benjamin Archer was remanded to Rikers, thank god!" Casey sipped on her bottle of water. "Hi Alex."

"Hey Casey," Alex murmured as she locked her office.

"Alex, are you alright? You look a bit... upset."

"I've been better." Alex gave Olivia a look to remind her that the breast cancer was off limits. "But it's hardly surprising... considering... everything."

Casey gave a puzzled look, "I don't understand."

Olivia explained as Alex composed herself, "Casey, you might as well know before you hear it anywhere else on the grapevine... Abbie broke with Alex because Abbie's been having an affair."

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry Al! Why would Abbie do that?! You and her were great together!"

Alex gave a small shrug, "I wish I knew."

"Do you know with who?"

"No. She wouldn't tell me. And it's not a recent thing either. Been happening for some time now."

"Geez, just when you thought you knew someone, they go and pull that shit."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. Look, sorry to run off, but I have to go get a warrant for Olivia and Nick."

"Sure, you go. If you need to talk, I'm here for you," Casey offered generously as Alex walked towards the elevator, Olivia in step right beside her.

When the blonde and the brunette were out of ear shot, Casey muttered under her breath, "In your dreams, Cabot!"

Novak dialled a familiar number as she closed the door to her own office, "Rena, why didn't you tell me Abs finally broke up with her?!... Me? I found out from Ice Princess and Oblivious just now!... Yeah, well it would've been nice to be given a heads up and not be left out of the loop... Ok, ok you're both forgiven. So, the three of us are catching up tonight?... Meet at the Rainbow Shamrock... Celebratory champagne, of course... can't wait!"

A sly grin settled on Casey's lips as she ended the call.