AN: The Dark Knight's Princess - re: "So...both...or...one and the other just knows...or...some sort of polygamy thing"... Umm, one of those ;-). HKS - re: "you need to explain"... I promise very soon :-) "Alex's cancer: PLEASE DON'T LET HER DIE!"... Trust me. Always trust me :-). IBME - re: "it's a mean girls story"... *whispers* I've never seen that movie so I can't confirm if it is like that or not :-( Please don't judge me! Bkwrmchar - re: "Casey's never been my favorite"... I don't hate her but I don't love her either. I think I've said I don't mind her, or I tolerate her. As for Abbie and Serena, I never watched mothership L&O, so I can't say if I like them or not. But I'm making them all dislikable in this story (Sorry!). "Really liking this story as well as Negotiation"... Thankyou :-D. lovingfanfic2death - re: "love your stories can't wait too see the many chapters too come"... And thankyou too! :-) I have no idea how long this story will be. I don't think anywhere near as long as 'Negotiating', but then again, I thought 'Negotiating' would only be something like 30 chapters when I first started. LOL! Working on ch29 now, and I think we're maybe about 1/2 way? shelovesyou2 - re: "i want Alex to be ok and get with Liv"... ;-) "In this story comfort and support of a friend possibly turning into a romance could be a great read."... I'll try my best. My fingers are crossed. :-)
AN2: Yeah, I know I'm spoiling you with another chapter so soon. It's definitely back to working on my other story now ;-)
Opening her apartment door Alex was greeted by Olivia, "What's with the third degree down in the lobby? I had to show ID before they'd let me up, and it was old Gregory on the door. He's seen me many times over the years!"
"Sorry about that. I updated my list of approved people this afternoon, so they're being vigilant. Took Abbie off the list, AND I had the locks changed too. She wants out, she's out for good. Her crap's in the corner there," Alex indicated the 4 large open cardboard boxes in the corner with books, magazines, ornaments, cosmetics and clothes thrown haphazardly in to them. "Better get the formality out of the way. The papers are on the table for you to sign. Thankyou for doing this Olivia, it means a lot to me."
"No problem." Picking up the fountain pen, Liv signed and initialled all the appropriate places indicated on the paperwork, "You'll be happy to know I've booked in for a mammogram and a pap smear test next week."
"Glad to hear it! Better to be precautionary then... well, you know."
"Yeah. By the way, I'm not catching tonight. So, do you want to go to the Shamrock and try and forget everything that happened today?"
Alex headed to the kitchen calling back over her shoulder, "Nope! I just want to stay home tonight but maybe get just a little bit drunk."
"Do you want me to leave you in peace?"
"Actually I'd love for you to stay seeing you'd understand why I might be sad. Maybe you can help cheer me up a bit? I really just don't want to go out tonight."
"Alright, I'll stay. You want some take out then?"
The ADA grabbed a pair of large wine glasses from the cupboard, "I actually took the liberty of ordering Indian, if that's alright?"
"Presumptuous much?"
"I figured if you said no, it just would've been leftovers for me tomorrow night." Alex said with a shrug.
"You order coconut rice?" Olivia approached.
"And vegetable korma, mango chicken, lamb masala and mint naan." Alex took a bottle from the wine rack, "Maybe you can assist cheering me up by helping me drink this very expensive bottle of wine I was going to open after I proposed to... her. Might as well celebrate... I don't know... freedom?"
Olivia took the bottle from Alex's grasp, put it back in the rack and chose a different bottle she was more familiar with, "I'll help you drink a bottle of wine, but how about you keep that particular bottle and drink it when you've beaten the cancer? Have something really nice to celebrate with."
'"I like the way you think, Detective."
Revenge.
It can be sweet, or it can be a dish best served cold.
Right now, well into a second bottle of wine, Alex and Olivia were discussing various things they'd like to Abbie Carmichael as they proceeded to eat dinner at the coffee table while they sat on the floor. Each suggestion getting a little more outrageous than the next. They had been at odds whether to add peroxide to her shampoo or hair removal cream, but had eventually moved on. Currently, they were deciding what to do with the clothes in the corner. Donate them to charity? Cut them into little pieces? Inconspicuously split all her suits along the seams? Burn them and give her back the ashes?
"Put some smelly fish or shrimp in the bottom of each box," Liv sipped her wine. It was juvenile, but each suggestion was getting a laugh from both women. "Better still, sprinkle the boxes with mothballs and store them for a few months before giving them back to her! Make her smell like an old Grandma!"
"Oooooh!" A sly look appeared on Alex's face, then she got up and disappeared down the hallway. Olivia figured Alex was going to the bathroom and continued to eat dinner.
"You know what I want to do with these?" Alex approached from the bedroom, a harness and flesh coloured dildo in one hand, a flesh coloured strapless strap-on double ended dildo in the other. A dozen thoughts and sexual fantasies that involved those items and the very woman holding them immediately bombarded Olivia's mind, but the SVU detective managed to choke out a small, "No?"
"I want to put itching powder on these and hope Abbie has a fun time with her little piece of ass on the side when she uses them!" Alex retorted, her words slightly slurred from the wine.
Olivia giggled, "Not bad... but I think we can think of something... nastier!" She took a few moments before voicing a suggestion, "Hot sauce!... Dipping them in hot sauce would be so much better."
Alex sat back down a little closer to Olivia while placing the toys on the floor, "Make them both burn like she burned me. Better make it apt for her... Texan hot sauce! She can be known as the 'The Slutty Little Whore from Texas'!"
Liv slapped her hand on the coffee table a couple of times as a new thought came to her, "Oh! Oh! I know! Superglue in the lube bottle! Try and explain that sticky situation at the emergency department!"
"You're evil, Liv! Truly evil!" Alex cackled at the very thought as she took another swig of wine. Indicating the toys, she continued, "You know... just between you and me... I really disliked these ones! They look much too... male... for my liking. But she loved them." Alex held the harness aloft trying not to laugh, "You know what she called herself when she wore this?"
"Texas Longhorny?" Olivia chuckled, knowing Abbie had been on the track team while she attended the University of Texas.
Almost spilling her glass of wine as she placed it back on the coffee table, Alex said with a snort, "That's hilarious! But no, wait for it..." she leant closer to Olivia's ear while still trying to stifle a laugh, "King Dong!"
Both women roared with laughter, the wine clearly taking affect.
"So, were you called 'Ann Darrow' in bed?" the brunette waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
A wave of melancholy washed over the blonde as she looked down at the harness in her hand, "No... she called me her Princess, and not in a bad way. It was really sweet, like she is... was. She was." Alex tossed the harnessed dildo then the strapless one over towards the open boxes, missing by a few feet in either direction. Her determined resolve returned, "Oh well! At least now I can go and get new ones that look less... phallic."
"I know the ones you mean... no veins or ridges. Hey, have you seen the ones that look like 2 curved fingers instead of a penis?"
"Noooooo!" Alex drawled, clearly awestruck. "But I love the sound of them!"
After a few taps of the screen, Olivia brought up the website on her phone and showed the blonde. "They look even better than they sound!"
Alex nodded in approval, "I am so getting one of those!"
Olivia leant in a little closer, placing her hand on Alex's thigh and patted it, "You know what the best revenge would be, Alex? Move on from Abbie. Find someone else that always treats you with respect and loves you unconditionally. She doesn't deserve you!"
"You're right! You're absolutely right!" Alex nodded her head in agreement, giving Olivia small coquettish smile.
Olivia reciprocated with her own that she had given over the years but not in recent time. The little spark of electricity that had been between them all those years ago was suddenly making itself known to both women, reviving hidden feelings.
"She kept accusing me of having an affair with you... sooo... maybe I should have one with you?" Alex closed the gap, claiming Olivia's mouth. It took several long moments to pass before she realised what she was doing. Alex reeled back in horror, unaware of the fact that in their current inebriated state Olivia had returned the kiss with as much passion, "Oh my god! I'm so sorry Liv, I shouldn't have done that. You're with Serena... and I'm drunk... very drunk... and you're drunk... and we're drunk... and..." Alex's words trailed off, suddenly being replaced with heartbreaking sobs, "And why did she do this to me, Liv? Why did she... I loved her so much!"
"I know you did, sweetheart... I know you did." Liv pulled the blonde closer for a reassuring embrace, rubbing soothing circles on her back, desperately wanting to take Alex Cabot's heartache away.
"Hello Ms Cabot, I'm Doctor Marie Campbell. Please come in and sit down," the African American woman ushered both SVU members inside her office located at Mount Sinai Hospital after Alex had picked up Olivia from the 16th Precinct on Friday afternoon.
"Please call me Alex. This is Olivia Benson, my friend."
They all exchanged handshakes and pleasantries.
"Olivia's your support person?"
"Yes. She's also my medical proxy and emergency contact," Alex relayed with a smile.
"Good, good! I'm glad you've got a loving partner to help you on this journey."
"Ah, no. I'm not her partner," Liv corrected, her mind screaming 'unfortunately'. "Alex and I are just very good friends."
"Oh I'm so sorry! I just assumed you were a couple. You look like you are, and when you said Olivia was your proxy and contact... nevermind. How embarrassing!" Doctor Campbell took a seat at her desk, "Moving on, I've gone over your file and we've caught your breast cancer early enough. Stage 1 has a survival rate of of 95-98%." She brought up the digital x-ray images on the large computer screen for both Alex and Olivia to see and indicated a small white shadow, "Your lump measures 12 millimeters, so that's not too big, and is situated at the 2 o'clock position of your left breast. Over 2 centimeters in size, that would be Stage 2. Alex, can you take your blouse and bra off behind the screen over there?"
As Doctor Campbell sanitized her hands, Alex disrobed on the other side of the folding medical screen. She stoically maintained direct eye contact with Olivia trying to ignore Doctor Campbell as she palpated the breast tissue, "I can't even feel the lump, so it is deep... ...Can you lift your left arm up?... ...I can't feel that your lymph nodes are swollen either, but we won't know for certain if it's in the nodes until we take a look inside and remove a couple for testing. Alright, you can get dressed again."
"So what are we look at? A lumpectomy?" Alex asked as she buttoned the last button on her blouse and returned to her chair next to Olivia.
"We could do that procedure, but with each procedure, it has its pros and cons. Lumpectomy, we can preserve most of the breast... but if we miss any cancerous tissue that may be surrounding the lump, we're right back to where we started from, particularly being the lump is a deep tissue lump. A mastectomy on the other hand, we'll get it all first time, but I'm sure you realise what that procedure involves."
"That's quite radical surgery seeing the lump's so small! 12 millimeters! Not even a half of an inch!"
"Yes, it is small. But relative to the size of your breast, the lump would be considered somewhat large. If the lump was close to the surface, it would be a different story again, but being deep tissue lump we have to proceed differently. Each woman's surgery is different to the next. After your surgery, your oncologist then look at if you need to have chemo-"
"Chemo?!" Even though she was still sitting down, to Alex, it felt like her feet had just gone from under her.
"Yes, chemotherapy is a possibility. Radiation or hormone therapy are the others. It depends if the cancer has been detected in your lymph nodes."
"Am I going to be able to have children after all this?"
"I can't definitively say yes or no. It all depends on the outcome of the surgery, then whatever treatment the oncologist recommends."
A knock on the door disrupted their conversation. The receptionist popped her head around the door, "Sorry to interrupt Doctor Campbell, but Doctor Platt needs to speak to you momentarily regarding his male breast cancer patient."
"Will you ladies excuse me. I'll be back in a moment."
As Doctor Campbell closed the door, Alex spoke quietly, "Abbie was right to leave me. She wanted children, and I kept putting off wanting to have them and now it looks like I might not be able to. Looks like she got out at the right time."
Olivia reached over and gave Alex's hand a gentle reassuring squeeze, "Let's not be too hasty right now, surgery first. Now, forget Abbie Carmichael! She cheated on you, remember! Besides, you and I both know adoption is an option as well."
Before Alex could respond, Doctor Campbell reentered her office, "Sorry about that. Now, where were we?" She sat back down and checked Alex's medical file, "Oh yes, I'd like for you to have surgery as soon as possible. The faster we get on to this, the faster you'll be on the road to recovery."
"How soon, Doctor?" Olivia prompted.
Doctor Campbell brought up her surgery schedule on computer screen, "How does... a week from Monday sound? You can be the first surgery of the day."
Alex's jaw dropped, "Monday week?! You're not wasting time for this lumpectomy, are you?"
"I'm sorry Alex, there's no other way to put it. My recommendation is for you to have a mastectomy..."
"Mastectomy?!" Alex hand tightened in Olivia's grasp as her other hand shot up and covered her mouth.
"... You will lose your left breast."
End Note: Yes those dildos Olivia mentions are very real ;-)