AN: HKS - re: "C-A-S. Casey or Casey/Abbie/Serena"... This chapter ;-). jbcjazz - re: "I am so worried about Alex's mental health right now... When will Liz Donnelly find out?"... Alex is going though a lot, but will be a lot better after certain things happen ;-). As for Liz: being set in current time she's a judge not the Bureau Chief of SVU. But she'll find out a little later :-) lovingfanfic2death - re: "whats done in the dark always comes too the light"... True, so very true! trace619 - re: "Come on Olivia, grow a pair and tell her how you really feel"... She might tell her, or maybe someone else will? ;-)

AN2: This chapter is MUCH larger than intended (about double what I've been writing for ISBY), but I promised Rainbow Shamrock this chapter. Back to writing 'Negotiating' now ;-). BTW - another comment is addressed at the end of the chapter ;-)

"Talk to me," Olivia looked over at Alex who was sitting in the driver's seat with her hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, keys in the ignition, but the motor not running, having just left Jean-Paul's jewellery store a few minutes earlier. "Tell me what's going through your mind."

For some time Alex remained quiet before she eventually loosened her grip, briefly rubbed her hands over her mouth and cheeks as she exhaled heavily. Placing her hands in her lap, she have a half hearted shrug before finally making eye contact with the brunette. "I don't know what and how I feel right now, Liv. Part of me doesn't want to believe that Abbie's been having an affair with Casey for all this time, because Casey's our friend and co-worker. Part of me wants to physically injure someone, and I don't know if that someone is either Abbie, or Casey, or both of them. Another part just wants to yell and scream until I'm hoarse about everything that's happened since that day when my life went to shit. Part of me just wants to crawl in to my bed and cry until I can't cry any more for being made a fool of this past year, especially the past 6 months... and yet another part of me doesn't give a damn whatsoever seeing I have more important things to worry about with my cancer. I feel like I'm adrift in a vast ocean of emotions and I don't know in which direction I'm supposed to swim to find solid ground again." Alex reached out and interlaced the fingers of her right hand and Olivia's left, "Honestly, it feels like you're the only one keeping me afloat right now and I'm so grateful for it."

"Alex, I want you to know that I'm here for you... always. I have to admit, I think I'd be feeling a similar slew of emotions with everything that's been thrown at you this past week or so. To be given a diagnosis of beast cancer is a low blow, and to find out your girlfriend has been cheating on you, again another blow. But to find out both the same day, that's not fair. And now to discover it's been with someone we trust, that's a triple whammy."

"Truthfully, we still can't be sure it's Casey though." Alex stated honestly.

"That necklace is pretty damning evidence, don't you think?"

"My heart says it is, but if I look at it from a prosecutor's point of view, it's circumstantial at best... or very coincidental seeing it only spells out C-A-S via the names of the stones."

"You're having doubts? The who else could it be?"

"I don't know! However, it's not like it was a 'Regard', 'Adore', 'Mizpah' or 'Dearest' pendant. It doesn't actually spell 'C-A-S-E-Y'."

"You're such a lawyer. We both know Casey's real name is Cassandra. Cas is a short form of that."

"I know it is Olivia, but I can't just confront Casey with an unfounded accusation, and neither can you. I know what that's like, having suffered it for the past 6 months."

Olivia could see Alex still didn't want to believe it was Casey, and wondered if she should mention what had happened in the lobby. She broached the subject carefully, "Umm... when Abbie was waiting for her boxes in the lobby, she said something that was... interesting."

"Oh?"

"She made a remark about me... liking her... old girlfriends..." Olivia didn't want to use the same terminology the Federal prosecutor had used, and hoped the blonde would pick up on emphasised terms in her attempt to reveal her true feelings, "... and I turned it back on her asking if who she was having the affair with wasn't someone who I might have dated previously."

Alex extracted her hand from Olivia's, clearly missing what the brunette was trying to say and focused on the other revelation. "You never told me you and Casey dated."

"Why would I?" Olivia clarified quickly when she noticed a look of hurt flash over Alex's features, "I never told you because I never dated her. Reds and strawberry blondes aren't for me, I told you only blondes are." Liv reached out and brushed a lock of Alex's hair back behind her ear, her inner thoughts adding 'like you' as the tips of her fingers ghosted over the ADA's jawline. She placed her hand back in her own lap, "Besides, I was only fishing for information with Abbie. She got kind of cagey when she assumed that who she's dating now might have been one of my past girlfriends. Abbie actually got a call while she was waiting for the boxes... started using names like Hunny Bunny and Cutie Patootie."

"Hunny Bunny and Cutie Patootie?! Urgh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. You know what, let's not talk about either of them any more. I'm having surgery in 3 days and I need to concentrate on me and my wellbeing, and not Abigail Carmichael and her Cutie Hunny Patootie Bunny!" Alex said as she started the car.

Wandering around one of the suggested lingerie shops that also specialised in breast forms, Alex asked Olivia, "Do you want to have a few hours of pampering with me at the beauty salon day spa on W59th and 7th? I'm going to get my hair trimmed, manicure, pedicure, facial, massage, legs, arms and bikini wax... the works."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Saturday? Oh. I would, but..."

"But?"

"I had to reschedule having my own mammogram and pap smear seeing we were a little busy during the week with the case. I can catch up with you after that, but you have to know that I'm also on call for the rest of the day. I'm off tomorrow night though."

"Come by when you can then. I also want to go out tomorrow night, just you and me. It's been a while since we have, seeing this last week and a half has been... life changing, to say the least. And I think it'll be a while before I want to go out again after the surgery and any followup treatment I might need."

"The Shamrock?"

"Of course! I feel like I have to give my 'girls' one last shake before I lose one of them." Alex covered each breast with her respective hand and gave them a discreet but quick jiggle.

Olivia stifled a laugh, "Deal."

A sales assistant approached with a kind smile, "Ladies, can I help you?" The assistant's name badge read Carmel.

Even though she knew it was inevitable, Alex's voice still waivered as she spoke. She was much more comfortable talking to Olivia about her breast cancer and surgery than anyone else. "I need... ahh... a post surgery..."

"Mastectomy bra or camisole? Right this way," Carmel indicated for Alex and Olivia to follow her before arriving in the designated area.

She took Alex's measurements to get the correct size required before taking a grey coloured camisole off the rack, "We have several different types and brands as you can see, but we've had a lot of positive feedback with this particular camisole as it has the mastectomy bra built in, and it also has internal pockets for the drain bulbs as well as the soft fill breast forms."

There were a variety of colours and each camisole had a band of matching lace at the bottom for a hint of femininity.

"What's the difference between the camisole and just a bra?" inquired Olivia.

"Nothing really, it's just the drain bulbs can be cumbersome. Some women pin them up with safety pins to the bottom of their post surgery bras or to a small elastic belt around their waist, but if you're having bilateral surgery, that a minimum of 4 bulbs, sometimes more."

"No, just the left one." Alex said quietly as tried to decide between a bra or camisole.

Carmel explained, "A lot of women find it much easier just slipping the bulbs into those pockets seeing the drains have to be emptied regularly rather than unpinning and repinning them."

Alex held one of each aloft, "What do you think, Liv?"

"If it were me, I'd go with the pocketed cami to start with."

"Ok, I'll take 2 camisoles... a cream and a pale blue coloured ones... and a soft fill breast form."

As Alex paid for her purchases, she asked Carmel "When can I get fitted for... a prosthetic breast form?"

"6 to 8 weeks after your surgery. However, it all depends on how fast you heal and whether or not you need radiation."

Olivia had only been able to have a manicure and pedicure with Alex at the beauty salon day spa after her own mammogram and pap smear test on Saturday morning. She wondered if she would discover what type of bikini wax Alex would be getting or at the very least considering, but that secret stayed a mystery to the brunette when she was called back to work for 2 child abduction attempts at Tompkins Square Park in the East Village. As she left, Olivia promised to pick Alex up at her apartment at 6pm.

Knocking on Alex's door, Olivia was dressed in a sheer maroon button down shirt with rolled sleeves showing off her tanned arms and a nice amount of cleavage; a white camisole of which a tiny hint was visible where the top button strained to meet; tailored black pants that hugged her curves just so; black boots, and even though she'd been wearing her newer Fearlessness tag pendant during the day, she opted for her older Fearlessness and Lotus Mandala necklaces tonight. A light dusting of makeup and her rich, dark burgundy nail polish finished the ensemble. A few moments after knocking, she was met with Alex dressed in a light royal blue drape neck halter top that Olivia knew showed off a vast expanse of Alex's pale back but covered the bullet scar at the front of her right shoulder; a pair of tight navy coloured jeans and a pair of strappy silver high heel shoes that allowed her bright red toe nails to be seen. Her French manicure and subtle makeup completed her look. Olivia was disheartened that Alex wasn't wearing her black framed glasses tonight, but her contacts and the halter top made Alex's eyes seem that little more blue than normal.

Olivia's mouth went dry as she began to speak. "Alex, you look... stunning."

Alex grabbed a tiny silver handbag that fit her phone and a small purse before she locked her apartment door, "Flatterer! Liv, you look gorgeous, as always."

Gregory, the apartment building's doorman greeted the women as they exited the elevator, "Good evening Ms Cabot, and again Ms Benson. You're both looking particularly sublime tonight, if you don't mind me saying."

"Charmer!" Olivia said, then exchanged a look with the blonde.

"Now Gregory, do I have to tell your wife you've been flirting with beautiful women again?" Alex teased while looking Olivia up and down before giving Gregory a wink while he held the main door to the apartment building open.

"I sweet talked her almost 30 years ago Ms Cabot, but I just like too see if it still works!" the doorman chuckled. "You ladies enjoy your evening."

Gregory watched as Olivia protectively rested her hand on the exposed skin of Alex's lower back. Halting a moment, Olivia whispered something to Alex in her ear that made the younger woman laugh heartily which in turn made the detective laugh just as much as they made their way down the few steps to the sidewalk. The doorman realised it had been quite some time since he had observed the blonde woman so happy and carefree, at least 6 months by his calculations. He had been surprised when Alex initially introduced him to Abbie 2 years ago and added the raven haired woman to the ADA's approved people list shortly after. He wasn't one to judge, but he had been sure there was something bubbling under the surface between the long time tenant and the brunette NYPD detective. It didn't surprise him in the slightest when he observed that something brewing again in the lobby just moments earlier. As he made his way back to his post near the elevator, he wondered not if, but when the women that just left would ever get together.

Olivia pulled her black 1965 Ford Mustang convertible in to one of the parking spaces at the back of the The Rainbow Shamrock, and Alex waited patiently as she put the roof on before locking the car. Her 'mid life crisis splurge' Liv initially called it, but it also was a type of self reward for 10 years as a detective at SVU, and going on long drives with the roof down on her days off after first purchasing the classic car helped with her PTSD after what had happened at Sealview.

The Rainbow Shamrock was 15 year established LGBTQAI nightclub on W14th Street, bordering the Chelsea and Meatpacking Districts. Everyone who had ever been to the Shamrock knew the suggestive yet comical implications of the location, and the owners of the bar, Shavaughn O'Keeffe (better known to regulars as 'Vaughn) and her long time partner Fiona Locker (known as Fi to Rainbow Shamrock patrons, but only Shavaughn dare call her Fifi), freely admitted they had purposely chosen it. It was a great place to unwind after a day of courtroom drama or busting perps with the large bar, tables and chairs, DJ booth and dance floor on the ground level, and a mezzanine with a smaller bar overlooking the nightclub with 'dining' booths for quieter socialisation. On busier nights, Fiona helped man the bar on the ground floor with the other bar staff and Shavaughn the upstairs bar, but usually they both manned the mezzanine bar together. Both women constantly changed the colour of their hair, and tonight was no exception as Alex and Olivia approached the upstairs bar. Fiona's short purple hair was shaved at the sides with blue tip highlights. Fiona always had 2 different colours in her hair to reflect the complete heterochromia of her eyes. Her right eye was chocolate brown, the left was ice blue. Tonight, Shavaughn's short shoulder length hair was dyed rainbow, an oft seen colouring on the blue eyed Irishwoman.

"Haven't seen you lassies here together for a quite while," Shavaughn called out, her Irish lilt audible.

"Been a little busy lately with work, 'Vaughn." Alex covered not wanting to get into details of her breakup or health issues.

"Work, sadly." Olivia reiterated as they sat down at the bar.

"You must be the unlucky ones of your group then," Fiona commented.

Liv asked, "Why do you say that, Fi?"

"Both of your girlfriends and your other friend have been here quite a lot lately. Every night from memory for the last 2 weeks. You both must be very understanding girls, I'd be ripping throats or clawing eyes out if anyone was being as... friendly... as they were with my 'Vaughny on the dance floor!" explained Fiona.

Olivia and Alex exchanged a look, before Liv commented. "You know the saying: What goes on on the dance floor, stays on the dance floor."

"Told you, Fifi!" Shavaughn retorted before indicating to the blonde, "Alex, your girlfriend left her phone here last night in the booth you usually sit at, but it's got a PIN lock on it so I couldn't call you via the contacts to let you know. I figured Abbie would be back for it tonight, though."

Alex covered, "She mentioned she lost her phone this morning. Do you mind if I take it on her behalf?"

"Sure! I'll go get it from the office downstairs. Fifi, be a doll and make drinks."

"Bossy much!" Fiona retorted cheekily. "What would you like to drink ladies?"

Olivia answered before Alex could, "Fi, I'll have what Alex's having and she'll have a gin and tonic... a little more gin, a little less tonic, extra lime, crushed ice."

Alex stared at the older woman, "How did you know?"

Liv shrugged nonchalantly as she pulled out her wallet, "I pay attention."

"This is Abbie's old cell phone!" Alex whispered as they sat in the corner booth, easily recognising the Texas flag cell phone case. "She upgraded to the newer model when it was released and got a new American flag and bald eagle case! But she kept the same number when she upgraded."

"Prepaid SIM card then?" Olivia offered.

"I'd say so."

"Do you think she would she use the same PIN to lock this phone as her other cell phone?"

"Only one way to find out... try 1-9-6-9."

"Her birth year?" Liv asked as she tapped the numbers to try and unlock the phone, "Success."

Alex took the phone and immediately tapped the 'Contacts' widget, only 2 names were listed 'Cutie' and 'Hunny'. She tapped the names to display the cell phone numbers but didn't recognise either of them. She checked the text messages, one to 'Cutie' and one to 'Hunny'. Each message was the same photo with the same line of text. A photo of Casey, Abbie and Serena with the message reading: Lesbian Sandwich Time! Hungry? 8-p V q-8

"I'm an idiot, Liv. Abbie didn't want children, she wanted a threesome!"

"What?!" Olivia extracted the phone from Alex and saw the photo with the comment. She zoomed in on the photo and saw Casey and Serena both wearing similar styled necklaces with familiar looking pendants made from reddish orange, purple and dark blue crystal beads. "It's not C-A-S for Casey... it's C-A-S, Casey, Abbie and Serena. She's with both of them."

Alex inhaled a calming breath, "Abbie's question to me was: 'What do you think about us becoming a family of 3?'... I assumed having a child! Not inviting someone else in to our bed! How could I be so stupid?"

"You're not stupid, Alex." Liv placated the blonde, "If I was in a serious relationship with someone and they asked me that question, I'd assume a child too. A threesome wouldn't even be part of the equation. Monogamy is very important to me. Maybe I'd be considered selfish by some, but I couldn't share someone I love with another person."

"You and me both," the ADA agreed. "Liv, there's a few videos on here too."

The details of the file indicated that it had been taken just 2 months ago, it was immediately apparent Abbie was the one filming when her voice was heard as the image zoomed in on Casey.

"Hey Cutie Patootie!"
Casey waved, "Hey!"
The camera then focused on Serena, the Texan's voice was clear as a bell. "Hey Hunny!"
Serena blew a kiss, "Abigail, I'd prefer MY old nickname of Princess."
"Rena, you know that's reserved for the Ice Princess now and you've always been my Hunny Bunny! So let's not talk about... Alexandra... and kill the mood."

Alex didn't know whether to laugh, cry or be angry. She knew some people call her the Ice Princess behind her back, but Abbie? All the times Abbie called her 'Princess', had she really been referring to her as the 'Ice Princess'?

Serena continued to talk, "No let's absolutely talk about her, Abs! I can't get away from her when I'm with Liv, so we might as well talk about her now."
"What do you mean?" Casey asked.
"You're SO lucky not ever having been with Olivia, or as I like call her 'Oblivious'. Case, if you'd have ever been with her you'd might have suffered the same indignant fate as myself."
The camera was back on Casey, "She's always pined after the 'Ice Princess'. I know that for a FACT! The way Olivia treated me when I replaced Alex, so rude! But I suspect there's more to your story, Rena. Care to elaborate on why Olivia is 'Oblivious'?"
"Do you know or have any idea how awkward it was I was down between Oblivious's thighs the other week and she screams out Ice Princess's name when she came?"

Liv was mortified at the revelation, her face and ears burning more and more with each passing moment. Had she actually done that?! She always fantasied it was Alex, and did so did each time when she took care of herself with her toys... but had the fantasy spilled over in to reality? Abbie asking if her sex life with Serena was 'satisfying' made much more sense now.

It was embarrassing that Abbie knew what had happened.

And even more embarrassingly, now Alex knew too.

The video continued playing...

"OH MY!" Casey's eyes widened.
Abbie voice was loud, "She WHAT?! Oh Rena, that's priceless! FUCKING PRICELESS!"
"I'll give you priceless! I'll even quote her: 'I'm gonna... gonna... ahh... Ahh... AHH... AAALLLEEEXXX!'" Serena took a sip of her drink without a care in the world, "I probably wouldn't have cared if Alex had BEEN there with us, but it's put me off having ANY more sex with her exclusively. I'll give Oblivious her dues though, 5 stars for her rack..." Serena pointed to her own cleavage, "... and 4 stars for her kissing ability. Her tongue is quite dexterous."
Abbie turned the camera on herself, "At least Oblivious calls out. Princess is so quiet when she comes, I wonder if she hasn't fallen asleep most of the time when I'm wearing King Dong. But she's definitely 5 stars for her left titty orgasm. OH BOY! I wish someone else would get to experience it with me, but Ice Princess hasn't got a clue about my wants. She assumes brats when I bring up wanting to make us a '3'. She's just as oblivious as 'Oblivious'! That's why I love sharing myself with my Hunny and Cutie! They know exactly what I want!"
"I thought you wanted Ice Princess to join our... fun?" Serena said.
"I do!"
Casey queried, "So why are you breaking up with her?"
"That's because I know she'll be so heartbroken and she loves me so much... she'll beg me for another chance of an 'us', and I'll tell her I'll only take her back on MY conditions! She'll finally play with us. So not only will it be a threesome, it'll be a foursome!"
"AWESOME!" Serena and Casey clinked their glasses together. Abbie turned the camera back on herself and grinned before the video ended.

The silence between Alex and Olivia was deafening. Alex couldn't believe how open Abbie was talking about her, it made her feel cheap. It hurt Alex immensely because the Federal prosecutor knew how private she was. The ADA also knew how similarly private Olivia was. Before either of them could say anything, the next video loaded.

Taken at a different time now, the camera was on Serena, "Rena Hunny, you know Casey's only making up the numbers for our threesomes right now. I promise it'll work out and be you, me and Ice Princess after our foursome. I'll tell Casey four's just too many and it was fun while it lasted. Then, Alex will be the mistress for a time and then it'll just be you and me again. I love you so much! I never stopped loving you!"
"Not that I don't mind sharing too much Abs, but I just want it to be you and me again! I don't know how much longer I can keep sharing you! I miss US!"
"It will be just the both of us really soon, I promise Hunny Bunny! Noone else but you and me. You know you're my Squirty Girl!"
"Turn the camera off and come to bed Abigail."

"She's still in love with Serena and playing Casey for a fool too." Alex gasped as the next video started.

On yet another day the camera was on Casey, "Casey Cutie, you know Rena's only making up the numbers for our threesomes right now. I promise it'll work out and be just you, me and Ice Princess after our foursome. I'll tell Rena four's just too many and it was fun for everyone while it lasted. After that, Alex will be the mistress for a bit and then it'll just be you and me finally. I love you so much! I'll never stop loving you!"
"Abbie, don't get me wrong, I love our threesomes, but I really want it to be just you and me! I want it to be US! I don't want to share you much longer."
"Really soon we'll be together, just the 2 of us, I promise Cutie Patootie! Noone else but you and me. You know you're my BJ Queen!"
"Speaking of BJ's Abbie, turn the camera off because you and me have a date with King Dong... right now!"

"Abbie's playing both of them, and neither of them know." Olivia murmured.

The last video had been taken at the Supreme Court very recently. The camera was capturing Alex and Judge Donnelly talking with Judge Petrovsky. Alex indicated to Abbie she's just be a moment, unaware that the camera was videoing but most likely assuming that Abbie was texting.
"Oh yeah! Liz Donnelly, that'd be a sweet ride! Liz, you were such hot Bureau Chief, and you're still as hot all these years later... what DO you wear under your judge robes? I'd tap that!"
As Donnelly and Petrovsky walked away and Alex approached Abbie, Amanda Rollins called out to Alex.
The camera focused on Rollins for a moment as Alex and Amanda talked, Abbie's commentary continued, "Hello Detective Rollins! Oh, Amanda... my panties are getting damp just thinking about tapping that! OH YEAH! She's be THE best mid life crisis EVER!"

The videos ended.

"What now?" Alex asked, not wanting to draw attention to what had been revealed, particularly in the first video.

"These videos, they have to be deleted. Noone can know about them, ever!" Liv replied as she deleted the first one. As she went to delete the next video she suddenly stopped. An idea began to form in the brunette's head and a devilish look appeared.

"Why did you stop deleting?" Alex began to panic slightly.

Liv gave a lop sided smile, "Alex, do you still want some... revenge?"

"After seeing those videos, yes!"

"Ok. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do!"

"Good." Olivia slid out of the booth, taking Abbie's phone with her. "You want another drink?"

Olivia returned to the bar, noting Fi was gone. "Hey 'Vaughn, another gin and tonic for Alex. None for me seeing I'm driving."

Paying for the drink, she asked another question, "Do you have any idea when Abbie's been arriving lately?"

"Umm... about half an hour earlier than your girlfriend and your co-worker, 'round 9-ish."

The SVU detective checked her watch, it was 8-15pm. Returning to the booth, Olivia passed Alex her drink, pulled out her own cell phone and dialled a familiar number after she sat down. "Rollins, I'm calling in that favour you owe me."

AN3: tummer22 - re: "Can't wait for them to see each other face to face, oh man it's gonna be good"... Hehehe! Oh yeah, it will ;-)