I have a secret.
yes, that's right.
Dean Winchester, demon slayer, tough guy, has a secret.
I realized this hidden desire, festering beneath the tide of my consciousness, only recently.
Although I know I lost all sanity in the blue oblivion of his eyes.
His. Yes his. I've never thought, I'd bear the weight of emotion for a man. Well, I'd suppose he's really an angel. In almost every sense of the word, I guess.
Listen, I'm not a sap. I don't do this whole love thing. I don't oppose to the occasional one night stand, with a girl.
You see I like women.
all women, tall ones, short ones, busty ones, spunky ones.
The list goes on. I like them physically, and I guess mentally they aren't so bad either.
Women are comfortable, they bring me pleasure and warmth. A place to rest my head at the end of the day, a nice piece of arm candy to lug around to social gathering or on my way to arguwe with satan.
No one woman has ever been able to stick.
I woke up one morning to realize, that maybe no woman ever will.
He's an angel, in the form of a dude.
A beautiful dude.
The other day my hand happened to brush his five o' clock shadow, and my heart did not cease to beat. And fast. My cheeks flushed to red like a little girl.
A fucking little girl.
His eyes are constantly holding me captive. The weight of his gaze, is heavier than any demonic power I've ever experienced.
I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Cas" I said, holding my breath.
"You called?" He says, breaking into my personal bubble, as usual.
"I…" His eyes hold me in place, paralyzing me. the low growl of my voice turns dry, like there's dust caught in my throat.
Words just wouldn't do it, his sense of intuition beat me to it.
"I just…-"
"I know" he said taking a step closer.
I could smell his cologne, or is that the ozone?
Castiel has always had a unique scent, he smells like fresh air and clean earth.
I felt like breaking down. Like running back to my mommy and drowning in a tub a tears.
Like a fucking baby.
"Don't be afraid. It's okay."
Taking my hand, he put my palm against his face.
His scruff felt like sandpaper, taking my other hand up to his other cheek, I held his face.
His face felt warm underneath my touch, his jaw clenched.
I froze, he looked at me, but I mean he really looked at me.
He saw it all, the hurt, the depression, everything.
I felt naked.
I anticipated his lips on mine, I'd dreamt of this moment. I thought I'd know exactly how his mouth felt over mine.
But when he finally pressed himself against me, I melted into a puddle on the floor.
As his lips tasted mine, I could finally let go, all the weight I carried.
I felt free.
"Mr. Tough guy" was no more in Castiel's arms.
After what seemed like an eternity, he let go.
His face was pensive, like he didn't know what to make of what just happened.
"I'm sorr-"
I started.
Shaking his head, he whispered
"No… No..."
A flash a lightning brightened the room.
His wings, wrapping around me, in a warm embrace.
Casting out all nightmares, and monsters, and demons.
He embraced me, his wings creating a safe haven.
"It's okay… "it's okay." He whispered, and kissed me.