A/N: I'm going to try to write another chapter tonight, so be looking for that! Keep up the reviews, because without the reviews, I don't know if anyone's reading this and if I should write more or not. Let me know what you think Fitz should do!
"I love you too. I always will, regardless of what's happened between us."
Fitz kept reading it, unsure of what he should say to that, how he should respond to it. He didn't want to scare her away, to make her take back what she said. It had obviously taken her some thinking to be able to say that, to be able to craft her words to those two sentences, and to express how she felt to him. It took him a few minutes to come up with a reply, before figuring that no matter what he said, Mellie's reaction would depend on what mood she was in. "I messed up, I get that. But I just wanted to remind you that even though I haven't shown it at all in the past few years, you're still the love of my life and you still mean absolutely everything to me."
It didn't take long for a reply this time. "I know, Fitz."
But as Mellie clicked send, she wondered if she really did know that. Because the truth was, she didn't. After all of these years, that was the last thing that she believed. But she wasn't in the mood to talk about that. Not tonight. Not this late. So she left it at that, at "I know". There was so much more that she could say, but she wasn't going to say it right now, especially not through a text.
Fitz read those words over and over again, stumbled as to what it meant, or what he was supposed to say now. He turned to his left and went to pour himself a glass of scotch, but before his hands touched the bottle, something inside of him told him that that was a bad idea. "What are you doing right now?" He sent before standing up and deciding that he should probably get dressed.
"Fitz, I don't have time for this."
He checked his phone as he was pulling on his shirt, and quickly typed a response. "I didn't mean it like that, Mels. I was really asking what you were doing."
"Lying on the couch, watching a movie. What are you doing?"
"Sitting in bed, just got out of the shower. Why are you up so late?"
Mellie's reply was almost immediate, and Fitz hadn't expected his phone to go off that quickly. "I can't sleep."
"Do you care if I come down for a while?"
This time, her reply took a few minutes. He was practically biting his nails as he anticipated her response, knowing that it could go one of two ways. But when his phone finally made the 'chime' noise that was assigned specifically to Mellie's phone number, he couldn't bring himself to look at it. "Only if you bring me something to eat. I'm starving and don't feel like cooking anything."
"How does grilled cheese sound?"
"It sounds perfect. Thank you. See you soon."
About thirty minutes later, Fitz walked into the living room, where Mellie was curled up on the couch, wide awake, her eyes fixated on the television. "I guess this is a downside of not having a staff down here, huh? Having to cook everything for yourself." He was trying to be funny and joke, but Mellie wasn't having it. It wasn't funny. The only reason she was down here and had to cook for herself and for their son was because he had kicked her out of their house. When he realized that she hadn't found him humorous, he handed her her plate and a bottle of water. "Sorry."
"It's okay. Just not in the mood for joking about that quite yet." She took the sandwich and took a bite before setting it back down on the plate. "Thank you, by the way. This is amazing. I always loved your grilled cheese sandwiches." She smiled a bit, something that Fitz hadn't seen in a while. It had been weeks since he had seen a real, genuine smile on his wife's face. Fitz took a bite of his sandwich, not wanting to stare at her for very long. He hadn't expected her to say yes to him coming to see her, and he didn't want to push it. Baby steps were completely fine with him.
Fitz nodded and sat down next to her, making sure to keep somewhat of a distance between them. "You're welcome. What are you watching?"
"The Best of Me." Mellie answered, glancing at the screen before looking back at Fitz. "I can restart it if you want. I just started it, so it won't be that big of a deal."
He shook his head. "No, honey, it's fine. I can catch up." He hadn't realized that he called her honey until he noticed the uncomfortable look on Mellie's face. He hadn't called her honey in a long time, and she was not expecting that to come out of his mouth.
Mellie wasn't one to usually jump the gun, but this had been bothering her for over an hour, and she felt the need to blurt it out. "Did you mean it?" She asked, and Fitz was genuinely confused.
"Did I mean what?"
"When you said that I was the love of your life and that I mean everything to you..." She said the words as if he didn't actually say them, as if he wouldn't have a clue what she was talking about.
Fitz bit his lip for a second before turning his body toward her, nodding his head. "Of course I meant that, Mels. I meant every word of that. I know I haven't shown that to you, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that." He took a deep breath, and watched as Mellie just nodded and turned her attention back to the movie. God, she was so hard to understand sometimes.
A few minutes later, she looked back at him and let out a sigh. "You know you can't do that. You can't just swoop in here for whatever reason and decide that you want me back after all of these years, and decide that you are going to use your way with words so that I'm putty in your hands. You can't just sweep me off my feet and bring me back to the White House because some light switch in your head came back on years later. It's going to take a lot more than that."
He didn't know what to say, what she wanted him to stay. He kept quiet for a few seconds, until he was the one saying, "I know."
"Like I said the other day, Fitz, I can't do it. I can't go back to this and then in a week, or a month, or however long it takes, you leave me again because something better comes along. I can't take it anymore. I don't deserve it, and even more than that, our son can't take it...He's already so confused and so hurt by what happened, and I'm not letting that happen again. If you want this, if you really want this, if you want me, you have to prove it to me. I'm not going to immediately forgive you and fall into your arms and move back into the White House and pretend like everything is okay. You hurt me, Fitz. You really fucking hurt me." She wasn't one to curse, and her language even surprised Fitz. But it showed him that he had really hurt her, that he had done way too much damage. "You hurt me, and I just need to know for sure that you're not going to do that again. I understand that it's not just you at fault, we've both made mistakes and we both contributed to the downfall of our marriage, to what it's become now. I am not trying to make it seem like it's just you. But at this point, I need to see you change, I need to see you make better decisions and I need to see you get your priorities in line."
"I will do anything, Mellie. Anything." He found himself speaking less than seconds after she had finished her last sentence. "I will do everything in my power to prove it to you. I love you. I really really love you. And I want to fix things, I really do. I want things to be even half as good as they were in the beginning. I will fix things, Mel. I promise you, I will make things better, and I will show you that I want this, that I want you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that, but I know now, and I will never hurt you again."
Fitz reached for her hand, and he was surprised when she didn't pull it away. "Then prove it to me, Fitz. I'm not going to tell you how to do it, that's something you'll have to figure out on your own. But I know you can do it if you really want this." He squeezed her hand gently, and he felt a small squeeze back. He knew that it was going to take a lot, but he was going to do it. He was going to fight for her, the way that he should've fought for her a long time ago.
"I've got this, Mel." He smiled at her and the two of them turned their attention back to the movie. They didn't move any closer to one another, but their hands stayed locked until the movie was over. Fitz hadn't really been paying attention, but had been thinking about everything that he was going to do to prove to her that she was his choice, his final choice, and that he wasn't going to hurt her anymore. He looked over at her, and she looked up at him with sleepy eyes. "I'm going to go. Go get some sleep." He dropped her hand, and for a second, he thought that he saw a hint of disappointment in her eyes.
Mellie yawned, standing up slowly as she wiped the sweat off of her hand and on to her pants. "Okay. You too, Fitz. Thank you for the grilled cheese and for coming down here to keep me company."
"You're welcome." He got up and walked toward the door. "I love you."
She debated saying it, but she knew that if they were going to work this out, even if she was relying on him to prove to her that that's what he really wanted, she might as well not make it harder that it needed to be. "I love you too."