Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan. This amazing story belongs to Hajime Isayama.

"Mikasa what's wrong?" I opened my eyes to my mom's sweet voice. I was panting with fear. My whole body was covered with sweat.

"I had a bad dream momma" I moved my body forward to pull her into an embrace. I needed her warmth.

"Ah sweetheart. Everything is okay. Momma is right here with you." She caressed my back as I tightened my hold. It took her twenty minutes of gentle gestures to calm me down from the nightmare.

"Momma why do you love me?" This was a random question to ask. But for unknown reasons I had to know why she was loving to me. Why she always held me the way she did. I felt undeserving of her kindness. Specially the smile she was giving me.

"That's easy to answer. Because I have known you since you were within me." She grabbed my hand. She placed it on her stomach.

" I felt you grow. I've seen you get older by the years. And what a wonderful daughter you are. I could only imagine the kind of woman you'll turned out to be. A strong but kind hearted person. And that's what makes me love you even more as each day passes."

"Thanks momma. I love you too."

.

.

.

If only my mother could foresee the kind of woman I turned out. We lived in an isolated cabin away from everyone. At the time I didn't understand why. I was an ignorant child but happy, not caring to see beyond the unrealistic world we lived in. I laughed when my dad made a joke, I smiled when my mother shared stories. To put it in simpler words, I was joyful just seeing the sunset rise because everything in my life was right. This changed the day strange men knocked on my house with the intention to kill. I witnessed my parents murder without an ounce of mercy. I was beat up like some sort of animal. Before the unforeseen incident I was pure. They raped the innocence out of me while teaching me one unforgettable lesson - this world is cruel. The worse part was I had not even met the titans who later ended the life of my adopted mother. Yet I had to learn the cruelty of being born in this era. Titans were a problem but so were humans. When Eren Jaeger yelled to me to fight I was at the edge between the person my mother thought I'd be and who I am now. For my mother I struggled but ultimately I made a choice. And that was to fight no matter the price. I picked up the knife and ran to the assailant. I screamed as I saw light transforming to darkness. I pushed the knife to his flesh and repeated until the light I once knew vanished. His lifeless body hit the ground. Instead of guilt I felt renewed. I came to the realization that you either are the prey or become the predator. There is no middle ground. Since that moment I refused to be the prey even it meant being unable to laugh at jokes, smile during stories or simply be joyful at the sunset's presence. Don't get me wrong though. My life wasn't full of sorrow. The Jaegers invited me to their home. Eren gave me hope that someday I'd be whole again. However soon this too was ripped out of my grasp when the titan's broke through the wall. I relived the massacre of my parents with Carla Jaeger's death. A reminder of this world's cruelty. But I continue to refuse to become the prey.

"Excuse me miss?"

I looked down to find the source of a fragile young voice. My eyes met a trembling teary little girl with crossed arms as if hugging herself. Her eyes yelled fear.

"Yes?"

"I-I don't know where my momma is. Could you help me find her?"

I nodded not really knowing if I could be of use The girl at most was eight years old. From the looks of my surrounding no one had bothered to give her even the time of day. Didn't surprise me. People were always so focused in their own business. Her discomfort in asking for help was apparent through her voice. But realizing no one tried to initiate contact she had no choice than to do it herself. It seems she was learning the way of this world.

"T-thank you."

The girl smiled, still teary. She lifted her hand so I can take it. I shook my head. I wasn't interested in forming any type of bond with the little girl. Her smile faded. She lifted her hand higher insisting I'd take it. No doubt this girl was stubborn. My hand moved slightly but I stopped myself. I stared at her wondering if this was some sort of test. Twenty four hours ago we had a meeting where Captain Levi briefed us on a mission. A mission to kill children who are predicted to have inherited the titan power. Except this wasn't a mission. It was a massacre where we'd be the predators instead of the victims. If I were to accept the mission I'd have to assassinate children as young as this girl. How could I possibly take the tiny hand to comfort her when soon I'd be the monster to other younglings her age?

"Where is the last place you saw your mother?"

The girl lowered her hand. She covered her eyes with her hands.

"I-I-I don't remember. I think it was when she told me she was going on a mission to kill the monsters. She was wearing an outfit like yours miss."

The girl started sobbing lightly.

"It's been so -"

Her sobbing grew louder.

"-long since she has come home. Please help me find her!"

She yelled looking directly at me with tears I recognized.

"I'm sorry. I cannot help you." I turned around and walked away. I continued to walk when I heard a scared woman running to her. From what I could hear she hugged the little girl and demanded she never leave her side. The woman yelled losing her sister was the most she could handle. The little girl apologized in tears. My body shivered with their interaction. Somehow this brought memories of my mother and the person who cared for me after her death. My memories of Carla turned to the briefing held yesterday on the mission.

"If we accept this. Can we ever go back?" Jean muttered loud enough for Levi to hear.

"I don't know." Levi responded. "We'd be risking our lives but what we'd be sacrificing is beyond that."

Go back where? Back to a place where we can befriend without the fear of seeing them get eaten. Perhaps go back to a time where we can express our disgust of our meals instead of forcing delight because it could be our last meal. No. It was already too late to go back to anything. Each of us have already sunk to a point of no return. The only thing we had left was to fight. The little girl was a victim of the titan's disgusting delight to devour humans. She was not at fault yet she was grieving. Isn't the desire to prevent casualties like these reason enough to ignore the disturbing parts of the mission? Or would this make us as bad as titans. More importantly, would this make me the same as those men who murdered my parents?

"Mikasa?"

I snapped from my thoughts. Armin was walking beside me with worry in his face.

"Sorry. I guess I was too occupied thinking."

"I think that's all of us" Armin replied.

"Ready?" I asked not knowing what else to say.

"Not really. Have you made a choice?"

"I have. And you?" I said with no emotion.

"I-I...yes."

Author's Note:

My first attempt to first person POV. This was Mikasa's if it wasn't obvious because of my lame writing :). I know it took me forever to update. I've been caught up in other stories and watching a lot of anime in my free time. But I'll be updating faster. Enjoy!