Title : Hate and Love and a Baby
Disclaimer : I do not own any of the Characters of Durarara!.
Innocent eyes gaze up at him, their brownish color identical to his own. Through purple lens, he returns the look, but with great affection. Placing the milk carton next to him, he brings his now free hand to gently stroke the baby's cheek.
Something akin to a purr slips the boy's lips, before his eyes close and as though he isn't as snuggled up to his father as he can be, he snuggles up some more.
Shizuo's eyes remain focused on him.
His greatest joy.
Four months ago, his arms and hands would have been shivering, out of pure fear of touching something so delicate and what had been frighteningly small, but now, he is fully able to cradle this little boy within his thin arms and whisper promises of joy and protection wherever they go together.
It's not because he's better at controlling his strength that he can carry the boy, but because his fear of hurting him was so intense, his strength disappears whenever this pale, soft skin touches him.
While with his son, Shizuo is the closest he's ever been to being a normal human.
Even his temper won't rise.
Which is why, he doesn't carry the boy out often, opting to find empty parks or secluded places to enjoy his son's existence. The public shouldn't know about his recent parenthood, musn't see the boy as a potential hostage or celebrity; that would be unsafe. Like today, Shizuo is with him, all alone in a small, rarely populated park, himself on a bench with a slightly orange sky above.
He admits, despite the effort he puts in keeping the boy safe, he at first found the whole idea of becoming a father rather repulsive, the thought of a monstrous man who hasn't even got a tiny bit of experience in romance, raising a child of his own, seemed utterly disturbing.
Horror truly consumed him when Izaya suddenly revealed the pregnancy.
It stung more when, by that time, Izaya was already seven months pregnant and long past a safe abortion. In fact, since his pregnancy was a greater phenomenon than the existences of dullahans or shinigamis (according to Shinra), abortion at any stage was risky. Shizuo did argue how he once learned, that the first few months was alright.
Things turned sour when Izaya admitted he didn't know he was pregnant until the fourth month.
Forced to a raise a child he never expected, Shizuo was unsurprisingly restless during the whole period before the birth. He shook often, lost his temper often, and even curled up into a ball and cried often. He wasn't feeling miserable because he didn't want to have kids, but he feared that kids concieved from his own DNA would possess his cursed strength, and thus suffer the loneliness he went through.
...and still suffers today.
He also believed, that because of the daily lives of the child's parents were far from normal, the baby would experience a dreadful life, full of danger and little to no joy. It took nearly forever for his parents (and Celty) to comfort him.
His mood didn't recover until the day of the birth.
On that day, a love so great washed away his worries, and filled him with confidence.
He may have never wanted the child, mainly for the sake of the child itself, but the result turned out to be pleasant. His and Izaya's son was born healthy, is easy to take care of, and seems to love his parents with all his heart. He once threw a tantrum when 24 hours had him seeing nothing but the faces of his paternal grandparents.
He only calmed down when Izaya stormed into the nursery and took him into his arms.
Which is why, they are to swap between each other, and care for him once a week each. It's difficult, to be honest, sharing something so dear to one's heart with someone one hates passionately. Sure, they have sex, have wild sex that is too embarrassing to talk about and too arousing to imagine, but that has never changed their feelings for each other.
Though Shizuo, out of the love he has for both his mother and his son, has tried, on occassion, to bond with Izaya.
...despite knowing - along with Izaya - that the two of them getting along is like the earth spinning in the opposite direction. Izaya even laughed, in the middle of a crowded street, when Erika had asked if they were finally getting along. He looked silly when he did that, but that goes to show, that he certainly finds the whole idea of being on good terms with the father of his child...ridiculous.
Yet Shizuo continues to try, even if he often ends up hitting Izaya harder than he should, and getting cut deeper than he would like.
At least they agree fully, that the boy now sleeping in his right arm, is the most beautiful thing in the world.
Their sweet, adorable, Hikaru.
Author's Note : I really, really didn't plan this to become an actual story, so for now, I'm going to leave it like this.
I hope you readers enjoyed this chapter.