It's been way too long again. But here we are. Oh and there's another Alopex reference that people will only get if they read Pure as Snow Dark as Sin. It's not a big deal though so whatever. Just as sort of easter egg. I hope you enjoy!
Liz woke up an hour or so ago. She wishes she could say she was up on time for once – in the morning – but she still has no clue about time in this place. It's underground, this much she knows now. Donnie told her so one day when they were talking. Well, he did most of the talking. She grimaces and bows her head. She doesn't talk much anymore.
She sits stiff on the couch, staring blankly ahead of her. The television stares blankly back at her. She wonders vaguely what might be on if she tapped the power button, but she doesn't move to find out. She cringes and sucks in a soft breath at the idea of all the loud noises and crashes that would assault her from the television. She clenches her hands around her bare legs. Not worth it. She shakes her head ever so slightly. No.
She tears her gaze from the silent box. She looks with empty eyes around the area. It's the living room she supposes. It's the only room she knows. Still, it sends a shiver up her spine. Despite her being mostly better there are still tools scattered around the couch. They are the things Donnie used to keep her alive. Some of the things he still uses when she has a panic attack from her all too frequent nightmares.
She brings her gaze around full circle, back to the television. So lifeless. So much like me. She laughs – a tiny, mirthless laugh. What a silly thought. She just needs to relax. She needs to not think about such things. She looks to the pillow. She sighs. She sleeps so much though, and…those nightmares. She shudders. She'd rather not. Besides-
Footsteps approach. Liz stiffens. Her throat tightens and her eyes widen. Her heart picks up speed. That's not Donnie. That's not Donnie! He walks different than that. He makes sure to walk softer than that. He says he doesn't want to risk startling her. She curls her fingers around the set of the couch and squeezes tight.
Leo circles the couch and scoops up the remote from the arm of it. His face is bright and his movements are carefree. He jumps back onto the seat and jerks his arm up, preparing to pinch the button and bring the television to life.
Liz sucks in a sharp breath and squeaks.
Leo stops. He makes a soft sound of surprise and tilts his head in her direction. Oh. Leo stares with slowly widening eyes. He opens and closes his mouth around empty words. Slowly, the shock washes away and a light smile spreads over his face. "Hey," He gives a half wave. "You like tv?"
Liz shakes her head slowly. There is a faint tremor to the action.
Leo nods. "Hm." He looks to the television. "That's too bad. There's some cool stuff on here sometime." He motions absently at the television. "Ever watched anime?"
Liz's brows furrow. A deep frown mars her lips, but for some reason the tension in her body and in the air becomes smaller. Her muscles relax even if only marginally.
Leo waits, but he quickly sees the slight shifts in her expression are all he's going to get. He sighs beneath his breath. "Ok. No I guess." He chuckles. "Well then, you think I can turn on the television? One of my favorite shows is on."
Liz blinks. Is this for real? How can he be so casual? Terrible things were done to her. She's a wreck to say the least. How is he to know what might set her off? And yet…here he is. Just talking to her. Carrying on about television.
Leo quirks a brow. "Huh? What's the matter?" He frowns slightly. "Look, if you don't want to have the tv on you can just say so. I know Donnie said not to startle you. So…"
She makes a tiny sound, only a part of a bigger thought. She wrings her hands. "It's…ok." She averts her eyes.
Leo stares for a long moment. He hesitates with his finger on the button. "Alright." He says the word slowly. He clicks the button. The television bursts to life and Space Heroes fills the screen. It starts out slow, slower than most episodes of the show, but soon it gets into the action.
Liz watches Leo rather than the show. She notes how his eyes light up as certain characters come on screen, how he clenches his fists with what can only be anticipation, and how he leans forward, as if he might slip through the screen and right into the world of the show. Then the action starts.
Loud explosions break the monotony of the character's voices. Their mostly calm chit chat rockets to yelling and panic. Liz gasps and jumps in her skin. Her throat constricts and her eyes dilate. She trembles and presses herself as far away from the screen as possible. Still, the sounds are piercing.
Leo starts. He swivels his head to look at her. "What's wrong?" Lines crease his face and a deep frown forms on his lips.
Liz doesn't move. She barely breaths.
Leo looks at her for a long moment, then back at the television screen. "Oh!" His hand snaps out for the remote. He fumbles with it and then smashes his finger on the off button. He lets a heavy breath out. Slowly he turns his head toward her. "S-Sorry…"
Liz breathes in and out, each breath careful and measured. Her hammering heart settles and her muscles relax. Still, her mind is a whir. Tentatively she meets Leo's eyes. She doesn't say a word though.
Leo bites his lip and averts his eyes. "I…didn't mean to…"
Liz swallows hard. She ducks her head. "Ok…"
"Huh?" Leo perks.
Liz slowly shakes her head.
Leo sighs. He looks anywhere but at her. Such a screw up. If only he was smarter about these things. If only he were like Donnie.
Liz's brows knit together. She chews on her lip. Thoughts race through her mind. Poor guy. He obviously didn't mean it. Right? His expression seems so genuinely crestfallen. She pinches the couch cushion between her fingers. She opens her mouth only to close it again. She lifts a hand, but stops. Her hand wavers in the air before she decides to move. She pats his hand to convey her message.
Leo starts. He jerks his head around, his eyes landing on her face before flitting to her presence on his hand. Oh, this must be her way of saying she forgives him. He frowns thoughtfully. Donnie did say that, didn't he – that she barely spoke. Something about shock or something. "It was my bad. Not yours."
Liz draws her hand back. She smiles weakly.
Leo manages a tiny smile in return. "Well," He rubs the back of his neck. "I'll go see what Donnie's doing."
Liz perks. "Hm?" It figures Donnie would be working on something. From their talks, or perhaps it would be more fitting to say monologues, she knows he likes tinkering. He has shown her a thing or two – tiny inventions that she didn't really listen to the explanation of. All she knows is they were complicated, far too complicated for the simple minded. Perhaps even…something she could make.
Leo shakes his head. "Just metalhead. This robot he likes." He pushes himself to his feet. "Uh, see ya." He gives a half wave and walks away, toward Donnie's lab. Anything to escape his slip up.
Liz watches him as he goes. A soft sigh escapes her lips and she falls sideways, sinking into her pillow. She scrunches her arms to her chest and closes her eyes. Even just this little event was too much. Far too much. She'll just…rest. Just a little.
…
A few more days slip through her fingers and nothing changes. Donnie comes and goes and the blue masked fellow doesn't return. It's not a bad thing, but it's not a good thing either. She definitely doesn't want that horrid show blaring in the background, but his awkward nature isn't too terribly off putting. And soon she gets her wish. Well, sort of.
She has her eyes closed, the darkness deep and undisturbed. Then from somewhere far away a voice echoes. It's faint and she can't make out the words, but there's definitely someone there. Lines crease her face and a frown curves her lips.
"Leo!" The voice rips through the air. "You cheated! Again."
Leo sighs and rolls his eyes. He turns, slowly. He places a hand on his hip as he meets gazes with his brother. "I didn't cheat. I just followed the rules set by Sensei." He smirks. "And won."
A low growl rumbles in Raph's throat. "I'm gonna beat you senseless." He charges at Leo.
Liz sucks in a breath and her eyes snap open. It reveals a scene of the blue turtle fighting with a turtle she has never seen before. She trembles slightly as they fight with what seems like evil intentions. At least the red one is sure going at it. D-Did he just…bite him?
Leo tackles Raph and presses him hard against the floor. He twists his brother's arms behind his back and holds him in a firm lock. "See Raph?" He grins despite himself. "I'm just better than you."
Raph's eyes light with fire. He bucks and after a few good movements he throws Leo off of him.
Leo gasps as he loses his grip on Raph. He flies across the room and hits hard. He groans and rubs his head. His world tilts ever so slightly, but he knows he doesn't have time to linger on this.
Raph scrambles to all fours and springs toward Leo.
Leo leaps to his feet and narrowly avoids Raph's reach.
Liz clasps a hand at her chest, desperate to curl her fingers around something and relieve the building panic. Her eyes grow wide and dart about to follow their moves – to make sure they don't get anywhere near her. Her heart hammers in her chest and it quickly becomes hard to breathe. Go away…go away!
"Hey!" Donnie yells over them. He stomps over, his face set in a fierce scowl. "You idiots! What did I tell you? You can't act that way out here." He crosses his arms firmly over his chest.
Leo and Raph freeze. They blink up at him and then their gazes float to the girl on the couch. Oh, right. They snap apart. They keep their eyes to the ground and deep grimaces form on their lips as they linger on their knees. "Sorry." They mumble in unison.
Donnie sighs and shakes his head. "Just go. Get out of here." He swats at them.
Raph scowls at Donnie's actions, but he does not tarry. With a soft scoff he heads to his room.
Leo, however, shows nothing but shame. He continues to mumble apologies and doesn't mind Donnie's actions one bit. He deserves it after all. He gives a passing glance to the girl as he rises, but he doesn't dare approach her. That look in her eyes…a shiver races up his spine. So he leaves.
Donnie glares after them, but only for an instant. The anger washes away as he turns to the girl. "I'm sorry about that." He moves slowly toward her, easing down on the couch. "Are you ok?"
Liz shivers. For a long moment that's all she does. Then she gives two jerks of her head. No. She clenches her hands together and digs her nails into her skin. Luckily her skin is as tough as them now.
Donnie holds in a sigh. He bites his lip and looks around. What should he do? He's gotten pretty good at soothing her, but that's from her nightmares. This…it could be different. "Look," He rubs the back of his neck. "My brothers can be idiots, but they don't hurt innocent people. They won't hurt you."
Liz breathes in deeply, struggles to draw in breath. "But…" She can't find it in her to speak any more.
Donnie pieces her thoughts together, even from the single word. "Raph's really not so bad. Really." He smiles, but it is weak and pleading more than it is happy. "He fights with us," With Leo. "But that's just what brothers do. It's ok, really." His hands linger in front of her. It's always a dangerous game to touch her. Depending on the day and her mood and just how badly she's panicking she could accept it or panic worse.
Liz scratches at her throat. She can't get anything in or out. She can't breathe.
Donnie gasps. "Easy," He motions his hands downward. "Just breathe." He breathes deeply in and out, demonstrating just like that night with her first nightmare.
Liz mimics him. Gradually she comes down from her panic. Her shaking eases up and her breathing regulates. It's such a relief that she even smiles.
Donnie smiles in return. "See? All better." He draws his hands inward, away from her.
Liz moves. She moves with such speed that she is able to recapture his hand in hers. She curls her fingers around his palm and squeezes lightly. She nods her appreciation.
Donnie starts. He stares blankly at first and then his expression shifts. His eyes widen as awe fills him. She's never looked so bright, so happy. He's sure of it. Finally he feels the same as her. A soft smile forms on his lips. "You look better." He says absently.
Liz blinks, surprised by his admission. Then she shrugs her shoulders and almost giggles. She supposes it's true. She's getting better. Bit by bit.
"Hey," Donnie's face brightens. "If you think you're well enough, you could start walking around here if you want. I mean, this is sort of your temporary home. Right?" He half laughs.
Liz dims. Home…? She presses her lips into a tight line and drops her gaze. Her brows crease and she uncurls her hand, slowly withdrawing it from Donnie. That's what she had with Slash. Can this really be a home too?
Donnie's brows furrow. "W-What's wrong? Was it something I said?" He frowns deeply.
Liz hesitates. Well of course it was. Still, she shakes her head, slowly. After all, he didn't mean it. He didn't know. Because she scarcely talked, let alone delved into her backstory. Donnie didn't even know her name.
Donnie sighs. The air is suddenly thick and he falls into old ways. He pulls at his fingers. It's a terrible habit, one he knows he should kill. At least that's what she would say. Alopex...
Liz perks. She notices the shift in him. Her own issues slip beneath the surface, even if only for a moment. That look…is he missing someone too? She tilts her head.
Donnie catches her glance and utters a weak laugh. "It's nothing, really." He knows he is too easily read. His brothers tell him so frequently, but not half as much as Alopex had. He sighs. Just forget it. "It was…" He fumbles for the right word. Him! Fumbling! Ha. "A fling." He cringes. Wrong.
Liz makes a face. She sticks out her tongue and utters a sound to match the act.
Donnie chuckles. "I suppose you're right." He averts his eyes. "But, never mind. It's in the past. No matter what it was."
Liz smiles sadly. "Love…"
Donnie chokes on air. "W-What?" He jerks upright. His cheeks burn. "No."
Liz giggles. She nods. She wishes she could articulate just what she means, but she still can't speak much. Donnie called it shock. She calls it betrayal…abandonment…and most of all loss. A loss of home, of family, of her very life. Shock…it makes it sound too simple.
Donnie clears his throat and relaxes. "Well," He stands. "I have to go work on," He falters, recovers, "A project." He can't tell her what exactly. Who knows how much she knows about what did this to her. Even the simple word 'mutagen' could trigger a panic attack.
Liz frowns slightly, but nods all the same. With every passing day she grows more and more intrigued about what exactly he does back in his lab. But she also realizes that his lab could be all too similar to her father's. She suppresses a shiver. And…she's just not ready to face that.
Donnie lingers for a moment more. "You are ok, right?" He has to ask.
Liz smiles. No, not really. But she knows what he means.
Donnie returns her sentiments. "That's good." He turns and walks away. He trails his hand along the couch, as if clinging to something precious. Or maybe he just knows it's not true. Knows he's being selfish and leaving her to work on the retro-mutagen. To work for April.
…
Liz lounges around. She knows she should follow Donnie's advice. That she should do something. But she can't find it in her to get up and move around. Her physical wounds have healed – yes – but what about the psychological damage done here? She isn't sure she can handle running into the others, especially not the red banded fellow. He was just so…aggressive. Then again, if she doesn't try, how is she ever supposed to get better?
As she leans back with her head on the pillow and her eyes closed she hears footsteps approach. They scatter before they reach her – most of them. One set, however, keeps their course. She can hear also that the person is mumbling beneath their breath, vigorously so. She can't make out the words, but it is apparent that whatever the group did out there it did not go well.
The red one calls from farther away, his voice harsh but his words an attempt to comfort. It's a strange combination, one she can't understand. Her brows furrow and she starts to think about the juxtaposition when again the blue one's talking breaks through her thoughts. Now, however, she more clearly hears his laments. She opens her eyes and peeks at him.
"Why?" Leo moans. "Why won't she listen? I just don't understand." He throws his hands in the air. "How can she still want to be with him after knowing the truth?" He talks to thin air because he knows his brothers don't want to hear it. They've listened to him enough as it is – after Splinter finally revealed the truth to them. It hasn't even been that long either, yet he knows they must be sick of his bemoaning. He just can't stop. He can't believe her.
Liz blinks. Her? Her who? It's not the 'April' Donnie talks about sometimes, right?
Leo sighs. He drags his feet as he comes closer and closer to the couch. Somewhere in his mind he knows he can't sit there, so he doesn't. He sinks down and leans back against the front of the couch instead. "She knows she's Splinter's daughter. Why won't she come home?" Why won't she be with me…? He knows that's really the question. "Why?" He looks over his shoulder, directly at the girl.
Liz stares for a moment. She shrugs.
Leo sighs and shakes his head, looking straight ahead again. He goes on and on and he knows he must be annoying as hell to her, but he can't stop. He has to get this out.
Liz merely watches and listens after that. After ten minutes or so he runs out of steam and gets up just as he sat down. He wanders off, looking a bit better than when he first arrived. So weird. Maybe he just needed someone to listen.
Even though she didn't say a word Leo can't help but feel better. He even smiles. Not such a bad end after all.
It takes a couple of days, but Leo returns. It's always at night when the others are out of earshot. And with each visit Liz becomes more comfortable. One day she sits up, another she switches positions to be more near to him, and by the end she is rolled on her side, her arm hung over the edge and dangling. She even pats him on the shoulder or head sometimes – the only way she can think to communicate her comfort. What good are words anyway? His issues with the girl Karai aren't being solved with words. Nothing ever is.
It's not just for him though. She finds that listening to him relieves her of her demons as well. The nights are far more peaceful each time he comes and talks to her. Even when he skips a day or two it's alright. Her past doesn't haunt her like it once did. Then it hits her. One night a nightmare startlingly similar to the first one she ever had – Slash and her father and all the blood – returns full force.
She wakes with a start. Her breathing is heavy and irregular. Her heart hammers in her chest and her eyes brim with tears. She sniffles and wipes at her eyes. Why? Why now? She had been doing so well. She raises up and sits motionless for a long moment. Then, slowly, she swings her legs around, her feet hovering just an inch above the ground. She lifts her gaze and looks around the room. Nothing. Nothing but darkness, heavy and deep.
It's quiet too, all but for the sounds of her own heavy breathing and soft sobs. I must not have screamed this time. Donnie always comes running when she screams. He's there in a heartbeat, barely giving her time to wake up. But now…nothing. She pulls at her hands because she doesn't have a shirt to pick at. It's so strange, not having someone right there, ready to pick up the pieces of her.
She whimpers and sniffles again. She stands, wandering away from the couch for the first time since she was brought here. She doesn't really know where she's going, but she does know where she wants to be. So dark. Is this usual? She sniffles harder. Her sobs grow louder. Or maybe it's only in her head. The ground is cold and sends shivers up her body.
She gasps as she hits something solid. She stumbles and nearly falls over her tail. Only a hand grabs onto her and keeps her standing.
"S-Sorry," Leo releases her as soon as she is steady. "I didn't know anyone else was up." He rubs the back of his neck. "I was just…" He sighs. "Thinking."
Liz smiles, but it is hardly sincere. She sniffles and rubs at her eyes without thinking.
Leo perks. "Hey," He starts to ask her about it, but stops himself. His brows furrow and a frown forms on his lips. "Come on," He walks past her, toward the couch.
Liz frowns. He didn't even ask. Donnie always asks and talks and talks until she feels better. Weird. She follows after him.
Leo sits down and peers over his shoulder to make sure she's coming.
Liz settles next to him. She isn't sure what to expect. She just knows she hates these feelings that come with her nightmares.
Leo clicks on the television and quickly turns the volume down. It makes the room glow and brings light to the dark scene. It's not Space Heroes. It's just a quiet little show, some sort of drama. He doesn't say a word.
Liz stares at him for a long moment, then looks at the television. It's not so bad when it's quiet. She looks around at the room. The light softens her hurt. She finds it in her to smile. She may not be able to hear the show, but watching the people move across the screen is nice in its own way. Might as well be comfortable. So she leans over, against Leo.
Leo smiles. He carefully sets his hand on her shoulder and squeezes lightly. He never did put much merit into words from other people helping a person. And he knows she doesn't talk. She barely has to him anyway. All those times she just listens, and it helps him.
Liz wipes one last time at her eyes. The tears stay gone this time and she feels herself grow tired, relaxed. "Liz…" She murmurs.
"Huh? Liz?" Oh, her name. "Nice name. Mine's Leo."
She nods. "Ok…" The brightness fades as her exhaustion sets in. Maybe some people really aren't so bad. At least she doesn't feel so bad letting Leo get so close. There's just something about him…something nice. Then she sleeps.
This is set somewhere after wormquake since all the guys know Karai is Splinter's daughter but other than that I guess there's nothing to say. I hope you liked it and thought the ending was in character. Please review!