A/N So I go to upload chapter 1 right, and for the next hour I'm getting loads of messages of people favoriting and commenting, so now I feel epic, and I already had this (along with 3…4 is in th works) done before I decided to upload chapter 1, so here it is.
ADNGO714: I take uniqueness to be a positive factor, so thanks for letting me know what you thought about chapter 1!
Kat: Well, you'll see a little bit of why this is a humor fic. I hope it gets you to laugh.
Leaf Ninja: Hmmm I wonder who that could be? Heheheh. Well if you want a hint, check the summary. If not, you might be able to guess by the end of this chapter.
Pervyysage: Nice as in good quality, or nice as in good girls Master Jiraiya? ;)
I love it when people review, so tell me what you liked, or didn't like, or maybe something you'd like to see happen. Enough yapping from me, let's do this!
Kyuubi glanced out the window of Naruto's house as the dawn broke. He hadn't slept, opting instead to train his host's body after leaving the Hokage's office. He yawned and stretched before standing up, making sure he had all his gear, and leaving via the window and made his way to the Academy. No one waylaid him, fortunately and he was soon sliding into a seat in the classroom. Being the first one there, he chose a seat in the back row, next to the window, where he leaned back, propped his feet on the desk, and started to doze. Soon enough he was joined by Sasuke Uchiha who raised an eyebrow at him before ultimately deciding to sit next to him, since Naruto was sitting one seat away from the aisle and so on the off chance that Sakura or Ino didn't swipe that seat, he wouldn't have to sit next to one of the fangirls. Sasuke wasn't all that optimistic about that happening, but he could hope.
Slowly the room began to fill with other students. Kiba glanced over at Naruto and chuckled.
"Oy Naruto, didn't you shower this morning? You smell like crap." Akamaru seemed mildly uneasy and shied away from the blonde. Naruto glanced up at the Inuzuka.
"You have no business criticizing other people's smells, dog-breath," He said seeming mildly amused. A couple people laughed, as it was well known Kiba wasn't the sweetest-smelling individual around. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. A playful barb like that wasn't in character for Naruto. He was more likely to take insult and start yelling. He watched the blonde out of the corner of his eye, but was soon distracted by the arrival of Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka. The Uchiha refrained from groaning and banging his head on his desk, instead adopting a look of complete disinterest and lacing his hands toghether in front of his face. The pink haired girl marched up to Naruto.
"Naruto, move. I want that seat," She said bossily. The blonde blinked up at her before chuckling.
"Too bad. I got here first. If you want to sit next to Duck-ass take it up with him, he arrived after me." Sakura's face turned bright red in anger and she aimed a solid punch at him.
No one was quite sure what happened next, all anyone saw was a flash of orangish-red and about a dozen solid thunks. The next thing anyone knew, Sakura was pinned to the ceiling by a bunch of kunai stabbed through the edges of her clothes. Naruto sat back down looking smug as the class burst out laughing. Sakura turned even more red, this time with embarrassment and started screaming at Naruto who simply ignored her. Sasuke hid a grin beneath his hands. He didn't want anyone to know how hilarious he found this, and the fact that he was doing a victory dance in his head over not having to sit next to the screaming banshee.
That was when the door opened and Iruka walked in with his usual, "Oy, sit down and shut up!" He then proceeded to take roll over the class's stifled giggles and Sakura's fuming silence.
"Uzumaki, Naruto…" He said boredly, fully expecting silence as his only answer.
"Yo," Naruto replied, waving two fingers casually. Iruka did a double take and looked up, eyes wide. That was when he spotted Sakura.
"Er…Why is Sakura on the ceiling?" This of course caused the class to burst out laughing again, except Shikamaru who was disturbed from his nap and yawned.
"Oh what a drag. Haruno tried to take Uzumaki's seat by force. He put her up there so she'd stop annoying him and everyone else." He immediately put his head back down and tried to doze off again. Iruka blinked several times and glanced at the blondie in question who just looked amused.
"Naruto pulled that off? And he's actually here on time. Something's off about this. He's sitting with his back to a wall next to the window, the perfect position to see everything easily and get out quickly. Was that intentional or merely coincidence? He seems casual but also careful. I'll leave it for now and ask him about it after class."
It was about that time that a final classmate arrived.
"U-um, sorry I'm late Iruka-sensei," Squeaked Hinata Hyuuga. Iruka smiled.
"Don't worry about it, I'm still taking roll and I hadn't gotten to your name yet. You're still on time."
"A-ah. Thank you…" She looked up at the seats and her eyes fastened on Naruto. She blinked several times before shuffling up and taking the seat next to him, opposite Sasuke. Naruto just glanced at her then leaned back against the wall and seemed to start to take a catnap, his eyes half-closed and a small smirk still on his lips. Iruka meanwhile retrieved Sakura from the ceiling and continued with roll, while the Hyuuga kept glancing sideways at Naruto.
"Undressing me with your eyes Hyuuga, or is there something else incredibly fascinating about me?" Naruto commented without opening his eyes fully or barely moving. Hinata squeaked and blushed before gulping and starting to speak.
"W-who are you?" Naruto's eyes flickered toward her under his half-closed lids.
"Who does it look like I am?" He asked sarcastically. Hinata gulped but returned his gaze with a little more force before making a handsign.
"Byakugan!" She whispered, the veins around her pupil-less eyes becoming more pronounced as she glared at him.
"You're an imposter. Naruto-kun's chakra is different from yours." Kyuubi opened his eyes fully and turned to smirk at her.
"Oh? And what's it to you, little Hyuuga? Wanted the real one so you could talk trash to him like everyone else in this town, did you?" Hinata's eyes narrowed.
"If you've hurt him… I'll make you pay," She whispered forcefully. Kyuubi's eyes widened a fraction at that before frowned thoughtfully. After a few seconds, he turned to focus on the front of the class.
"That statement you just made… prove your sincerity and perhaps you'll learn a thing or two," He said quietly.
A few hours passed, and the rest of the day proceeded rather normally. At least until a chuunin burst into the classroom out-out-of breath, as was the usual occurrence when Naruto skipped class and ended up pranking something and Iruka was required to corral him. But Naruto was in class today so…
Iruka glanced at the other Chuunin. "Yes, what is it?"
"Iruka, Naruto's just pranked the Hokage Monument! There's graffiti all over it!" The Chuunin panted. Iruka blinked before looking at Naruto who just grinned and cleared his throat loudly.
"What was that? I heard my name but I didn't catch what for as Hinata-chan here was just telling me something amusing," He said, voice conveying high amusement, showing that he did in fact hear what the Chuunin, who was now gaping at him, had said. Iruka rolled his eyes and suppressed a smile.
"Er, there must be some mistake. Naruto has been in class with me all morning. So unless he pranked the Monument before arriving, which I would've seen as I looked at it right before coming inside, he can't possibly have done it."
"B-but people saw him up there painting it!" The chuunin stuttered. Naruto chuckled.
"Sorry, but everyone in here can testify I've been in here the whole time. And everyone also knows that I suck royally at the bunshin no jutsu. Perhaps the person you saw was wearing a henge. Don't worry though, if you end up having to clean it yourself, it looks to me like they used water-soluble paint, though I might be mistaken since it is quite far away and this window could use a little cleaning," He commented casually. Several people turned to look out the window, and then there were suppressed snickers at the sight of the odd war paint designs on the great stone faces. Iruka raised an eyebrow at the blonde.
"You can tell what sort of paint was used from this distance?" Naruto laughed lightly.
"Yes Iruka-sensei. You may not have heard this put I'm widely recognized as a professional in the art of pranking, even if most only accept it grudgingly. However, it's worth noting that I'm not the only one around who does it. Everyone else's work just gets blamed on me." Iruka rolled his eyes at the sarcastic barb.
"Alright, alright. Well that's all I need from you today. Class is dismissed. Er, Naruto would you-" He was cut off by a gust of wind. The window was now open and Naruto was gone the moment the word 'dismissed' had left his sensei's mouth. Iruka sighed.
"I was right. He is extremely tense about something. I'll go see the Hokage about it after I finish up here." He went to his desk and began putting away his papers. A slight cough drew his attention to the Hyuuga girl who was standing there while the rest of the class left.
"Yes, Hinata? What is it?" The Girl looked up at him shyly before mustering her resolve.
"Um, Iruka-sensei, I'm worried about Naruto-kun," She started timidly. Iruka sighed.
"Me too. He was off today but he left before I could ask him about it. I was about to go talk to the Hokage."
"But that wasn't Naruto-kun," Hinata said softly, causing him to look at her with surprise.
"What do you mean?"
"I looked at him with my Byakugan. His chakra system was a completely different color, and much bigger than I had previously seen on Naruto-kun. I think he's being impersonated by a jonin level spy at least, and may have been kidnapped," Hinata said quietly, but firmly. Iruka frowned.
"Who would impersonate Naruto? No one from another major village even knows he exists, and even if they did, would they know about the Kyuubi, would they be able to fake that?" He looked back at Hinata.
"Hinata, when you've looked at Naruto with your Byakugan in the past, tell me the significant things you noticed about him." Hinata thought about it.
"His chakra is a soft, blue color that is very comforting and peaceful to look at, and he has some sort of chakra mark on his abdomen. I asked my father about it once but was warned not to inquire further, but it's invisible to anyone without a Byakugan…so it would be hard to fake," She said thoughtfully. Iruka nodded.
"Now tell me what was different about today."
"Today the Chakra inside his body was dark red. It looked as if it was made of hot water that is almost boiling. And it appeared to be emanating from the mark on his stomach," Hinata recalled. Iruka paled.
"But…that could only mean one thing… the Ky-" He was interrupted as the door slid open.
"That's enough. This isn't the sort of talk to be having just anywhere," Naruto replied in a bored manner, his hands in his pockets. His eyes though were watching the both of them intensely. Iruka adopted a guarded stance but the boy locked his gaze on Hinata.
"Hyuuga. If you came upon a scene where Naruto Uzumaki was about to be killed, and the only way you could save him was to jump in front of a kunai, what would you do?" The girl glared back at him and spoke without hesitating or stuttering.
"I'd die for him without a second thought, any day." The boy looked up at Iruka.
"Teacher, same question." Iruka glanced him over calculatedly.
"What is he after? Is this a test of some sort? Is it a game, a trick? The only thing I can do is answer honestly."
"I would die to save the life of any of my students without hesitating, including Naruto," He said quietly. The boy blinked slowly before smirking slightly.
"I will make you a deal. We will go to the Hokage's office, and on the way you will not threaten me by word or gesture. And when we arrive, I will explain what has happened to the real Naruto." Hinata looked up at Iruka who merely nodded assent.
"Fine. Let's go."
It didn't take them long to arrive at the tower, and Naruto walked in first and grunted.
"Yo, old monkey." The man gave him a tired look after glancing over Hinata and Iruka.
"I see you're still as much of a prankster as ever. You wasted no time in abusing the Kage-Bunshin no Justu." Naruto laughed a little.
"The look on the face of the chuunin that burst in to rat me out was priceless. But that's not why I'm here. I want your privacy seals up." The Hokage raised an eyebrow.
"And them?" He asked, indicating the teacher and Hyuuga.
"They've made a very good first step at gaining my trust. I'm going to let them in on a few things and see how they react to it," The boy grunted. The Hokage nodded and activated his seals. The boy turned to the two standing there.
"Hyuuga, first question is yours to ask."
"Is Naruto alright?" She asked immediately. The boy sighed slightly.
"Physically, he is in perfect condition, thanks to me. Emotionally, he is utterly traumatized. He's basically in a terror-induced coma at the moment. I'm running things for him until he gets better. Next, Iruka."
"How did he get into that condition?" Iruka asked quietly.
"He was attacked and nearly killed by a vicious gang of civilians. I was the only one close enough to help, and if I hadn't intervened he would likely have died,"
"That's rich coming from the real reason they all hate him!" Hinata snapped. The boy raised an eyebrow.
"Come again?" Hinata levelled likely the fiercest glare she'd ever worn at him.
"If it weren't for you, Kyuubi no Kitsune, Naruto would have grown up in a loving family, knowing his parents, and all the hate and pain you left behind wouldn't exist!" She snapped. Iruka and the Hokaga gaped at her, while Kyuubi simply smirked.
"You've had your eye on him for quite some time haven't you? As you said in the academy, only a Hyuuga can see the seal normally, and even though your father discouraged it, you still went and figured out what it meant. Impressive, really. But let me get one thing straight with you Hyuuga. On that night I was not acting of my own free will. I was instead caught in a genjutsu and forced to attack the village and kill those people. Genjustsu is my one real weakness, especially when cast by an Uchiha. Especially cast by that Uchiha." Kyuubi said, ending darkly. The Hokage blinked at him.
"You never mentioned this before."
"I was busy dealing with a traumatized kid. Leave me a memo and I'll get back to you on it when I freaking have time," Kyuubi snapped. "I gotta get this kid in shape so he can become a genin. Even though I have all the chakra he could ever need, his body needs a bit of work. Any more questions?" The three humans looked at each other before Iruka cleared his throat.
"Just this. Thank you for saving Naruto's life," He said quietly. The fox regarded him for a moment.
"Hmm. You're doing a good job of earning more of my trust. Keep it up. Hinata looked at him.
"If there's anything I can do to help Naruto. Anything at all, tell me please." Kyuubi smirked.
"You can be our friend. Are you willing to accept that?"
"Absolutely," She replied firmly. The boy nodded and grinned.
"Then why don't we go and train together?" The girl gave him a slightly amused look.
"Just don't kill me by accident, fox."
"…The name's Kurama," The nine-tailed demon replied quietly as the Hokage released the privacy seals and the two students left to head to one of the training fields.