"When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny."

― Paulo Coelho

Sometimes I wonder if fate is real. I'm able to understand and comprehend both sides of the argument, be that it is or it isn't. Part of me thinks someone, somewhere sat down and said, "My shitty decisions in life are really dragging me down, whose to blame for this? Because it surely isn't me, no.. No it must be some twisted spiritual influence at hand. I'm exactly where God intended me to be." Blah Blah Blah, because people will make up anything to pass the buck so they don't have to own up to their own bullshit. A poor man will get down on his knees and pray for money to feed his family, but when he finally gets his paycheck he'll gamble it away at the nearest casino. How's it go? For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. I'd like to think that I'm not like that. I'm the type to pray, and then go out and get what I prayed for.

Although, another part of me wants to believe in fate like all the other deluded people in this world. It would be nice to be assured that no matter what I did in life, where I'm at right now is not my fault, because it was meant to happen. There's something extremely comforting in telling yourself that these are just the cards you were dealt. But it's bullshit and I know that. Every choice I've made up until this moment, were just that; my choices. When push comes to shove, I'm the only one to blame.

My cigarette smoke danced in the air to the rhythm of an old clock. Tick tick tick tick. I watched the minute hand circle the clock a few times as I sat in silence; waiting. I hadn't put much thought into what I was planning on doing. Nor had I thought what I would do after I killed the man, or god forbid he killed me. And if I lived, would it change me as a person? Would I be able to sleep at night, or would I be haunted by nightmares and flashbacks? I wasn't sure. Time would tell. I was ready, though.

My mind flashed to Jax's face. I thought about his smile, and the way his eyes light up when he laughs. They could brighten the darkest of rooms. I hope he can understand why I had to say what I said to him, and can forgive me. I cringed, his face from tonight burned into my head. His forehead turned into the usual crinkled position when he's confused, followed by an expression similar to a young boy who just found out his puppy ran away.

I couldn't bare to go another minute having him convinced I didn't want any part of him. But was it too late to explain? I remembered where I was and what I was doing and decided not to waste anymore time. I could feel the fear that I had been denying myself finally creep in. However, I didn't fear for my life as much as I feared for my relationship, for lack of a better word, with Jax. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed his number.

Ring, ring.

"...Come on, pick up... Please." I pleaded to myself.

Ring, ring.

That's when I heard the door creak open. I turned around instinctively, dropping the phone to the floor and became fully conscious of the gun in my hand. I had been holding it for hours yet suddenly it felt foreign and strange in my grasp. As the dark figure stepped into the door way, I didn't think, I just pulled the trigger. Having not anticipated the recoil, my aim was off and I wasn't sure if I had even landed the shot.

A deep voice yelled out in pain, but I could barely make out what he said. My ears were ringing. I stayed in my tracks, feet planted firmly to the ground, like a deer caught in the headlights. The man grabbed the side of the door but lost his gripping and slumped down, and I had finally calmed down enough to hear him call my name. But the voice that I heard was way too familiar.

I forced myself to walk toward him and flipped the light switch on. With the darkness gone, I had confirmed what I already knew and I fell to my knees next to him.

"I'm so sorry, Juice."

I helped him to his feet and on to the couch.

"You shot me." He said, with humor in his voice. I looked at him perplexed.

"It isn't funny." I stated, carefully pulling his cut off. "I need to see the wound. I need to try to stop the bleeding." I got up, grabbed a pair of scissors from the kitchen and a glass of water.

"Drink this," I said, and began cutting his shirt off. "It's superficial, it grazed your arm... It took a nice chunk of skin though."

"Well, thank god you have horrible aim." Juice joked. I gave him a worried look. "This isn't the first time I've been shot, and it probably won't be the last."

"Is that supposed to be reassuring?" I asked. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"I seen you leave earlier, I was checking up on you."

"You didn't tell the club?" I asked, surprised.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you trusted me enough to tell me what was going on, so I'm trusting you to tell them yourself. When you're ready." He replied.

"I don't think I have much more time to spare after this incident. Sit tight."

I rummaged through the closet looking for the first aid kit.

"This is going to sting." I called to him. "I just thought I should warn you."

"Great," he muttered.

I poured peroxide on the wound to clean it out and put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. "I didn't hear your bike." I said.

"What?" He asked.

"Your bike.. I didn't hear it. If I had heard it, I would have known it was a Son and I wouldn't have shot you."

"So this is my fault?" He laughed. I smiled at him. "I drove the cage here, parts aren't in yet for my dyna. What were you planning on doing though?"

"I was going to shoot the guy who's following me." I said, point blank. "Isn't it obvious?"

"What were you going to do with the body?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully, "I couldn't call the cops. There would be an investigation opened and I don't know how many copies of that picture he has of me, if he has any at all. I guess I just wasn't thinking clearly. You're all done, by the way..." I finished wrapping his arm up. "Stay away from alcohol for a few days, it's a blood thinner and you don't want this bleeding again."

"How do you know all this stuff?" He asked.

"It's just basic knowledge. Plus, I haven't had health insurance since I was sixteen." I laughed, stopping abruptly after hearing the roar of a motorcycle outside. "I called Jax.. before I shot you. He must have picked up after I dropped the phone or something." Juice nodded.

I got up and met him in my doorway. He wore a worried and confused expression, with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"What's goin' on, Nichole?" He sighed. "It's five thirty in the morning. I got a missed call from you. And Juice's van is here?"

"I know, I'll explain. Come in."

"Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes distant and unreachable.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just come in." I repeated.

"That's all I needed to know." He said, walking away from me. I let the door close behind me and followed him.

"Please, wait."

"Listen, you don't have to explain anything to me. I get it. It makes sense now. If you and Juice want to be together, that's fine. I don't want to hear about it."

"What? No! No, I shot him. " That got his attention. He stopped in his tracks.

"What?"

"It's a really long story."

"Start talkin'," he tilted his head, confused. Juice walked outside clutching his arm.

"I'm going to leave, let you guys talk.. I'll be at the club house." Juice said. Jax didn't acknowledge him. "I'm okay, by the way."

"Come inside," I said, again, motioning toward the door. This time he didn't protest.

"You could've just told me all of that from the beginning."

"I know," I said, "but last time you went on this huge spill about how I should leave and Charming isn't any good for me. And that you weren't any good for me. I just couldn't have that conversation again."

"So you just end it with me before I get a chance to end it with you?" He smirked. I shrugged.

"I didn't know what to do, I just figured being mad at you over Ima was easier than telling you the truth. I'm not good at this stuff."

"I'm trying to understand your logic, but it just seems incredibly irresponsible on your part. Coming here, by yourself.. when someone just broke in to this house. It don't make any sense. And you felt more comfortable telling Juice than you did me?"

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Where'd you get the gun, anyway?" He asked.

"I have connections."

"Gemma..." He stately, nonchalantly.

I nodded, to which he shook his head before burying it in his hands. I got up from my seat across from him and closed the space between us.

"Forgive me?" I asked.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. "Promise me that this is it. This is the last secret you keep from me. I want to be here for you. I don't want you dealing with shit by yourself babe. I mean it."

"It won't happen again, ever..." I yawned. "So what happens now?"

He sighed, "I'm going to call a meeting and the club will discuss what happens next. We'll find this guy, and we'll figure out what he knows about the bar... then we'll deal with him."

"Stay with me tonight."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, darlin'," he said, picking me up and laying me down on the couch. He locked the front door, and turned the light off before settling down beside me.

I rested my head on his chest. "You knew I didn't mean it when I said I didn't want to be with you earlier, right?" I whispered.

"You were pretty convincing."

I laughed, exhausted and barely conscious.

"What's funny?" He asked.

"That couldn't be farther from the truth... I think I'm falling in love with you." I muttered under my breath before drifting in to a deep sleep.

The trees swayed with the autumn wind. Covered in a thick blanket of night fall, I weaved my body throughout the forest in the hopes of concealing myself. I didn't know where I was, or why I was here but the goosebumps on my arms and the hair on my neck told me I needed to stay hidden. I stopped when I got to a recognizable clearing. It looks vaguely similar to the one Jax took me to, except his father's writing were replaced with names. None of which particularly stood out. I traced my fingers over a few of them. To the far right, an old sign was dug in to the soil. Brushing the dirt off of it, it read 'Collateral Damage' in red paint. I furrowed my brows, trying to make sense of it. I set it back down and continued to inspect the area. That's when I seen it. The name John Teller was carved in the middle of a trunk. Panic set in, and I could hear the faint sound of footsteps coming toward me.

"RUN!" A voice yelled.

My breath caught and I jumped up.

"Run! God damn it..." Half-Sack yelled. He was sitting on the recliner in my living room watching a football game.

It was just a dream, I told myself. But what did it even mean? I sighed.

"Sorry," Half Sack looked at me, "I got carried away. I forgot you were sleeping." He shrugged.

"It's okay. What time is it?"

"Two thirty." He said.

"What are you doing here?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Jax had club business to take care of, he asked me to stay with you."

"Like a babysitter?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"...no."

"Yes. You're babysitting me!" I exclaimed. "You have got to be kidding me." I threw my blanket down dramatically and walked out of the room.

"Where are you going?" He yelled.

"To get a shower, why? You have to be in there, too?"

I turned the shower on the hottest setting possible and let it run down my back. I tried to understand my dream but it was nearly impossible. It had felt so real yet made very little sense to me. I tried to shake the thought of it, and chalk it up to just another wild interpretation my subconscious makes out of reality.

When I was finished, I grabbed my cell phone from the sink and dialed Gemma's number.

"Hello?"

"Gemma..." I trailed off, "how is everything, at the club?"

"They're still in church, sweetheart. I know just as much as you do at this point, if that's what you're callin' for."

"So Jax told you?" I asked.

"Yeah, you know it was really dumb what you did. Waitin' for someone like that. This person is obviously dangerous, what is wrong with you?" She questioned, like a worried mother. I smiled at her tone. It was surprisingly refreshing.

"How's Juice?"

"He's fine. Which makes it even worse. Had it actually been the guy you intended the bullet for, he would've killed you. Didn't your mother ever teach you how to shoot a gun?"

"No, no that was never a priority. Nor was it ever a topic of discussion."

"Well I'll have to clear a day in my schedule to give you a few pointers." She joked. My call waiting beeped.

"Okay, sounds good. I have to go though, I'll see you later."

"Bye, baby."

The number was unfamiliar, but I answered it regardless.

"Hello?" I said.

"Nichole?" A female voice answered.

"Yes?"

"It's Donna. Listen, some of the girls quit today. Jack asked me to call you and ask if you're still coming in today? We could really use you."

"Shit! I completely forgot about that. Um, yeah I'll be there. I might have a body-guard with me though."

"A body-guard? What happened this time?"

"It's a long story."

"Of course it is, it always is when you're involved with an outlaw biker." She said. "See ya at six."

"I'll be there."

"Great."

I snapped the phone shut and got ready for the day. Half Sack was watching some bad reality television show when I had finally finished. I sat down and acted extremely and loudly disinterested in it. I sighed every thirty seconds until he finally shut it off.

"You win." He said. "What do you want to do?"

"Anything besides watch that garbage." I replied.

"It's not garbage."

"Yes it is, it's not even reality. Its scripted, media vomit. It's making society stupid."

"Tell me how you really feel." He laughed. "We have to go, anyway."

"Go where?" I questioned.

"Meet Jax at the club. They should be out of church in a little." He stood up, grabbed his helmet and tossed it to me.

"What's this for?"

"You can't ride without it." He stated.

"I'm taking my car... Don't worry, I won't try to shake you." I tossed the helmet back to him, threw my sunglasses on, and headed out.

Jax and the guys were already outside when we pulled in. I parked on the opposite side of the lot and he walked toward me. He appeared collected but I could tell he was stressed out.

"I missed you this morning." I said to him when he got close. He pulled me close and kissed me passionately. "What was that for?" I asked.

"I just love hearing that."

"Oh." I smiled. "If that gets me kisses, I'll say it all day."

"I'd kiss you all day if I could darlin'." He grabbed my hand.

"So... how'd they take it?"

He sighed. "They have no idea who it could be... Clay thinks it's strictly an attack on you, nothin' to do with the club. Since they haven't bothered to take any interest in us..."

"That's a good thing, though. Right?" I asked. "Means you have nothing to worry about."

"I have everything to worry about."

"I mean the club doesn't have any reason to get involved." I clarified.

"If someone wants to hurt you, they have to go through me. So it's a club affair."

"I'm so sorry... do they hate me?"

"Hate you? For what?" He asked, taken back.

"For causing this mess."

"You didn't cause this babe. Don't worry about anything. But I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone until this over."

"So the babysitter stays?" I frowned.

"For now, yeah."

"Okay, I guess." I stood on my tip toes and kissed him on the lips. "I can live with that.. I'm gonna fill in over at the Iron Horse tonight. Some people quit and they're short-staffed. Donna called me earlier and reminded me."

"That's fine, just take a prospect with you. And come here after, no pit stops. I'll have Half Sack stop over Unser's and grab your stuff."

"Yes sir." I said. "I'm going to find your mother."

"Actually, I thought we could go get somethin' to eat."

"Like a date? One that doesn't involve alcohol?" I joked.

He walked toward his bike and handed me his helmet. I quickly put it on and positioned myself behind him, holding on as tight as I could.

We pulled up to a tiny diner on the out skirts of town. "How romantic," I joked as we walked in.

"Give me a break darlin', I don't do this shit for the usual women I hook up with." He laughed.

"I must be pretty special."

"You are."

We got a booth seat by the window, and the waitress took our order. She flirted obnoxiously with him, but he didn't seem to notice. I rolled my eyes when she walked away. Jax excused himself to the restroom, and I fiddled with my straw paper while I waited for him. This place had a certain charm to it. The cook would come up front every now and then to talk to a customer and ask how their family is, or to invite someone over to a small get-together. The owner flitted around table to table to greet lifelong friends. I imagined this is part of what Unser loved about this town. Everyone knew each other and cared about each other. These businesses and restaurants had been around for decades, and grew with the towns people.

For a split second, I locked eyes with someone sitting at the counter on a bar stool. I knew those big green eyes like the back of my hand. My vision quickly became obscured by a group of people passing by. When I could see again, he was gone. Impossible, I thought. I stood up to see if he had moved to a different spot.

"You okay, babe." Jax asked from behind me. I sat back down. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just thought I recognized someone. I was wrong." I smiled. He gave me a questioning look, but let it go and joined me.

My mind flashed back to when I was seventeen and living with Rachel in upper California. I worked in a small bar. They didn't care how old I was, and I was thrilled with the money I was making because of it. That's when I met Brandon Tomasic. He had just been accepted in to the police academy and was out celebrating with a few of his friends. He showed quite a bit of interest in me that night, and Rachel gushed over how lucky I was on our smoke break.

"He's got the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen!" She exclaimed.

"He's alright." I replied casually.

"Oh, c'mon. Give him a chance! Or I will."

And I did. I gave him a chance. I spent two years with him before I left him, left everything behind me. Rachel told me I was crazy, but wished me luck as I packed my bags while he was at work. She promised to keep it a secret, knowing how bad I was with goodbyes. I left in the middle of the night. He didn't even know it was coming. I didn't even feel bad. I still don't.

Could that have actually been him, though? Or had my eyes just been playing tricks on me. I wasn't sure. I hadn't seen him in years.

"Nichole, you there?" Jax snapped me out of it.

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry." I smiled.

"I thought I lost you for a minute."

"You'll never lose me." I stated.

Half Sack kindly escorted me to the Iron Horse later that day, not that he had much of a choice. Donna thanked me a million times for coming in. She had to work a double shift today because of the no-call-no-show's and was happy to be working with someone who knew what she was doing.

The bar started to get over crowded around ten o'clock. Half Sack was entertaining a young lady in the corner of the room while Opie sat at the counter down from me and made sure no one hit on Donna.

"Nobody tips me when you do that!" She yelled at him. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Sit up here like the overprotective, overbearing boyfriend that you are."

"I'm just a regular old customer, enjoying a cold beverage." He replied. She gave him a dirty look and walked away.

"Excuse me, miss, can I get a Vodka on the rocks?" I filled it up and slid it to him without looking up. I was still too amused with Donna and Op.

"Nichole?" He said, getting my attention.

My jaw dropped. "Is that you?" He asked.

"Brandon..."

"Yes! Wow, this is crazy. What are you doing here? In Charming." I couldn't form words yet. "You live here now?" He continued. I shook my head yes.

"That's crazy... I thought I seen you earlier, but I didn't think it was actually you."

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm here on business."

"Police business?"

"DEA, actually." He said. "Man, you look amazing."

"Thank you," I replied awkwardly.

"So how have you been? I haven't seen you in years."

"Yeah.. it's been awhile. I've been okay." I fidgeted with my hair.

"Listen, it's really nice to see a familiar face in this ass-backwards town. You don't have to feel awkward. The past is the past..."

"You're right," I smiled, "so DEA now? That's impressive."

"I'm moving up in the world." He shrugged. "So, are you seeing anybody." I paused at his question, and he picked up on my hesitation. "You don't have to answer that. Just a casual question." He flashed me a big smiled.

"I am." I said. He traced the edge of his glass with his fingers.

"You gonna pick up and leave on him in the middle of the night, too?" This time the edge in his voice was clear. I closed my lips in to a tight line.

"...I'm sorry, Brandon."

"No problem, really," he said, reaching down in to his lap. He pulled a rose up and set it down on the counter in front of me. "I'll see you around, Nichole. Oh, and tell Jax Teller that I'll be seeing him, too."

And my breath caught.

A/N: ( please REVIEW ) all reviews, good and bad, are welcome. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's the longest one yet and took me a while to write it. I first talked about Brandon in chapter 6, if some of you didn't catch that reference. Enjoy :)