I Was Married – Chapter 6/8
A/N: Apologies for the delay with this chapter, life got a little busy and the story has shaped up a little differently than I originally thought, so I've had to get my thoughts and plan in order.
Initially chapter 6 was going to be the final chapter but because of the length of the chapter and what still needs to unfold I've broken it down. There will be a final chapter after this (chapter 7) and then an epilogue to tie things up, rounding it up to a nice even 8 chapters in total.
Thank you all for being so patient and kind and constantly sending me messages of love for this story on tumblr and here. It means the so much to me, I really appreciate all your feedback.
Gail becomes aware that she's conscious gradually.
The murmured sound of shuffled movement creeps into her ears and lifts her closer and closer to wakefulness, and as her sleepy eyes slowly begin to flutter open, her body stretching and curling tighter around the lingering warmth that she's hugging close to her chest, she realises that she's been left in bed alone with only the softness of Holly's pillow to cuddle with.
As she lifts her head to turn towards the quiet movement in the room, she's rewarded with the sight of Holly, her bare back to Gail as she finishes clipping her bra in place and pulls a shirt over her head. It's probably a little voyeuristic to be so happy and content to watch Holly getting herself ready, but she can't help but feel her heart swell, her lips curling up into a small smile as she takes in the sight of Holly running her fingers through her wild hair and pulling it back to tie into a messy ponytail before slipping her glasses on, and then pushing them adorably back up her nose as the slip down a little as she bends to pick up her towel.
There's something about these quiet moments she gets to witness, that makes Gail more and more assured that she's fallen in love with her best friend. Working the late shifts for the past week has meant that they've missed each other for the most part, and yet, whenever Gail finally finishes up at the station and returns to Holly's townhouse, it's always to find a cute little note tacked to the fridge with some food plated up and ready for her. After hurrying through her meal, Gail always sneaks silently upstairs, part of her hoping to find Holly still awake, wanting nothing more than to hear her beautiful voice and lay eyes on that crooked smile that melts her insides, and the other part of her is always thankful that Holly's peacefully asleep, because it allows Gail the freedom to really look and take her in. The way her eyelids flutter as she dreams, her mouth always slightly agape and twitching into the imitation of a smile as she snores softly, and her dark, messy hair sprawled around her at such crazy angles that it always makes Gail smile in fond amusement.
It's even better once she crawls into bed to join her, careful not to allow her movement to jolt Holly unexpectedly awake, when Holly's body always, instinctively, rolls towards her. Her leg slipping between Gail's and tangling their limbs together and her arm reaching out to encircle Gail's waist, tugging until the warmth of Gail's body is melded perfectly against her own, a position that always forces a contented sigh from Holly's sleeping lips and makes Gail echo an equally contented one in return as she drifts into the depths of slumber in the safety of Holly's loving embrace.
"Where you going so early?" Gail questions grumpily, her voice hoarse from sleep and lapsing into a yawn as Holly turns towards her in surprise, a soft smile forming on her lips at the sight of Gail's heavy-lidded eyes blinking up at her.
She wordlessly comes to perch on the edge of the bed, her fingertips immediately reaching out to stroke softly through Gail's short hair and making Gail hum approvingly as she nuzzles into the affectionate touch.
"I didn't mean to wake you," Holly murmurs apologetically, knowing that Gail probably didn't crawl into bed with her until a few hours ago and feeling guilty that she's disturbed her, her fingernails scratching lightly at the base of Gail's skull, knowing that the gentle touch is normally more than enough to render Gail back into the land of dreams. "I'm just off for a couple of hours to be all 'gross and sporty' as you'd say," Holly quips in a teasing whisper, knowing how much Gail hates exercise, and smiling as she watches Gail's eyes fighting to keep awake now that Holly is lulling her with her caress. "So, my little grumpy kitten, why don't you grab some more sleep, and then once I'm back and you're properly rested and awake, we can go and get some breakfast at that nice cafe you like."
Gail almost gives in to the heaviness dragging her into utter relaxation, her body becoming boneless beneath Holly's touch, but just as she feels herself starting to slip, her breathing turning that little bit shallower, her mind suddenly seems to process the extent of Holly's words, and her eyes flicker open once more, this time wide and far more alert.
"Today's your first proper game, right?" Gail asks and she shifts upright, her eyes holding Holly's own questioningly.
After their first venture together at the batting cages all those years ago, Gail had quickly learned that Holly was a sports nut. Soccer, softball, tennis, hockey, you name it, she watched it, supported it, and even played it. It hadn't been a surprise then, that Gail had discovered that Holly had been on many sporting teams throughout college, but that the workload of medical school and her residency had soon made playing sports on a team a thing of the past, and weekly solo trips to the batting cages or hockey rink something of the present.
Until recently that was at least – a few weeks before their trip to Vegas – when Holly had announced that she was joining a softball team made up from the forensic departments collection of science nerds. Nothing major, just a few of them getting together for a couple of hours every other Sunday morning to play a few practice games, more for fun than anything. Only after a few weeks of training and turning out to be quite good, they'd managed to get themselves signed up for a friendly match with another team and invited to take part in a minor tournament.
Gail doesn't remember Holly being more excited about anything so dorky before, and even though she'd teased Holly relentlessly ever since she caught her talking tactics seriously with one of the lab assistants on one of their lunch breaks, she'd promised that she'd come and support her friend in her first proper match.
Somehow, it seems even more important that she go and support Holly now, given that they're married and all.
Holly smiles softly back at her and nods. "I should have known you wouldn't forget, you've got the memory of an elephant, Peck."
Gail grins toothily in return, kicking the covers off her legs and letting the cool air help wake her up even more. "First I'm a grumpy kitten, now I'm an elephant, I'm not sure which one is more offensive, Lunchbox," she jokes playfully, and scowling slightly when Holly ruffles her hair and makes an unsubtle purring sound that makes Gail bat her hand away with a feigned scowl.
"You don't have to come, honestly," Holly offers kindly as she gets up to find her bag, "we didn't know you'd be working nights when you promised you would, and I was never actually going to hold you to it, Gail, we both know you'd hate every second of it."
It's kind of true, Gail knows, she's grumbled each and every time Holly has ever tried to involve her in sports, always claiming that her noodle arms where only suited to hold her gun or doughnuts, and always sulking slightly when she realises just how non-athletic she is compared to Holly, who seems like a freaking sporting goddess in comparison. Not to mention she finds all of them ridiculously boring, why on earth would fully grown men and women want to spend their time running around and chasing a ball or hitting a puck when they could be drinking tequila and playing computer games?
The whole sports thing is a mystery to her, the appeal seriously lacking, and yet for some reason she feels the overwhelming desire to be part of this, to be there for Holly and support her in doing something she so clearly loves and enjoys.
"I'm coming, Hol, I always keep my promises, you know that, and besides I'm kinda looking forward to seeing you out-sport all the other sporty science nerds," Gail replies earnestly, earning a bashful smile from Holly in return. "Go, Lunchbox!" Gail practice cheers in a sing-song that makes Holly shake her head in amusement.
"Well then, I'm glad you'll be there to cheer me on," Holly murmurs, squeezing appreciatively at Gail's ankle in return and then playfully wiggling her eyebrows as she adds, "I've always wanted my very own cheerleader."
"You should be honoured, I don't shake my pom-poms for just anybody, Stewart," Gail retorts with a smirk, winking flirtatiously in a way that makes Holly blush and avert her gaze.
With the matter settled, Gail leans forward to press a quick reassuring kiss to the top of Holly's head before rushing into the bathroom to shower and get ready. Holly's all but ready by the time she emerges again, dressed in her team jersey with her bag by her feet and waiting patiently for Gail, and so Gail quickly towels her hair and grins goofily at Holly as she reveals her short blonde tresses sticking up wildly.
"Can I wear one of your spare jerseys? I want to at least look the part even if I have no idea what's actually going on and I left my cheer skirt at home," Gail jests as Holly set her bag down and moves in to lovingly smooth Gail's hair down, her fingertips gently brushing across Gail's forehead as she swoops her fringe to the right position and making a shiver tingle down Gail's spine.
"Of course," Holly replies absently, moving to perch on the end of the bed to tie her shoes, and then glancing up a few seconds later to see Gail pulling her oldest, college jersey, all tatty and well worn, over her head. "You know, I do have ones in better condition than that one."
"But this one is the softest," Gail retorts with a smile, smoothing her hands down her stomach and fingering one of the thread-bare holes, loving how it smells all Holly-like and how across her back the name 'Stewart' is printed big and bold, making her feel as if the people who will see her wearing it will actually believe that she truly belongs to Holly. "Do I look ridiculous?" she questions seriously, noting the way Holly is looking over at her with a strange expression on her face.
Holly just blinks back at her for a moment and then smiles softly and nods, her eyes warm and suddenly full of unbridled affection.
"Yes," she replies moving over to Gail and reaching out to press her palm to Gail's back as she looks her up and down appreciatively for a final time, "but you look ridiculously adorable, so I think it's okay."
Normally Gail would protest to being called something so fluffy as 'adorable' but with the way Holly's fingertips have started tracing over the lettering on the back of the jersey, absently imprinting her last name into Gail's skin as her eyes hold Gail's own, Gail can do nothing but lean even further into the touch and wordlessly concede to the statement.
"Explain the rules to me again," Gail says as Holly pulls the car to a standstill at a stop-light, her eyebrows furrowed together as she tries to piece the information she already has into a clear picture. "I think I've almost got them."
Holly's already explained the rules to softball to her three times at her request on the car journey to the park, but as it turns out, while she may be able to memorise the notes for any case she's working ever, Gail just can't quite seem to grasp the rules to this damn game.
Maybe she really is well and truly sports inept.
Holly just glances over at her, taking in Gail's evident growing frustration and grins. "Why do you care so much about the rules all of a sudden, honey? You know you're going to hate this," Holly replies honestly, although not unkindly, turning her attention back to the road as the lights change again. "I really appreciate you getting up early to come and watch, but I don't expect you to actually learn how the game works. I mean, wasn't the original promise that you would come and see me play but only if you could sit in the stands and eat a pretzel and make fun of everyone?"
Gail takes a moment to look over at her best friend and feels her heart flutter in her chest at how utterly beautiful she even like this, with her hair messily pulled back, face fresh from make-up, and wearing nothing but shorts and a baggy, bright purple jersey. The original promise, that did indeed include the deal that she would come and watch but only if she could eat snacks and clap only when everybody else did and make snide remarks about the other players, suddenly no longer feels right at all. It doesn't feel good enough, not when Holly always gives her all to be there for her, and more than that, Gail feels her previous indifference about Holly playing sports being replaced with the burning want, no, need, to take an interest and support her whole heartedly.
"I care because it's you I'm coming to watch play, Hol," Gail confesses sincerely, watching as Holly's face lights up brightly in response, that adorable lopsided smile tugging at Holly's lips and making Gail's fluttering heart beat a littler harder and a little faster. "Now, tell me the rules so I can be the best wife in the crowd," Gail repeats with a grin, loving the way a surge of warmth crashes over her as Holly laughs happily and excitedly attempts to explain the rules to her once again as she reaches across the centre console to affectionately squeeze Gail's hand, and breaks into a soft, shy smile when Gail immediately threads their fingers together.
Holly's team couldn't have picked a more glorious day for their first official game if they tried, the sun shining brightly – hotly – down over the park, and forcing Holly to pull some sunscreen lotion out of her bag as she smirks Gail's way.
The sight of it makes Gail want to flee, years of childhood vacation memories where she spent the whole time covered from head to toe in the damn stuff rushing back to her, and it's as if Holly knows her plan, because she's instantly tugging at Gail's wrist to stop her from escaping, and gently swiping some of the cool liquid across Gail's pale cheeks and nose.
"Pout all you like," Holly says with a smile as she massages the lotion in, "but we both know you'll be lobster red by the end of the day if we don't protect your precious porcelain skin, and then you really will be grumpy if you end up all red, and burnt, and hurting, after having been made to watch sports all morning."
Gail stands with her arms down at her sides like a petulant child as Holly covers every inch of of her exposed skin with the sunscreen, and feels a flush creeping up her neck and burning the tip of her ears as she sees Holly's approaching colleagues watching the scene unfold with amusement.
"I think I'm all protected now, Lunchbox," Gail murmurs, gently batting Holly's hands away. "Any more of that stuff and I'll become invisible."
Holly huffs out a laugh in response and puts the sunscreen back into her bag. "Just one more thing, honey, and I'll happily consider you sun-proof," she responds, digging around in her bag until she pulls out a baseball cap and reaches up to settle it on Gail's head, making her scowl once more. "Now you look even more adorable."
Gail pouts again in reply, and only relents into a smile when Holly tugs her closer to her by pulling at the front of her jersey and presses a kiss to the tip of Gail's nose as her fingers trickle down Gail's side playfully tickling her.
"Alright, alright," Gail laughs, grasping at Holly's hands and putting a stop to her attack. "Now, go play with the other sporty nerds so we can hurry up and get breakfast. You owe me pancakes with maple syrup for this, Hol."
"Whatever you say, Casper," Holly jests, flashing her a toothy grin and a wink before heading over to greet her team.
Gail moves to join the other players friends and family as they settle in on the stands to watch, and after a fifteen minute warm-up, the game finally commences, and Gail can't resist 'woop woop-ing' in her best supportive sports cheer and fist pumping as Holly glances her way, her heart flopping in her chest when Holly smiles brightly and laughs at her.
She's still not entirely grasped the rules to softball, even after Holly's repeated attempts to explain them as simply to her as possible, but wearing Holly's old jersey and watching Holly hitting the ball with ease and running around gracefully, Gail can't help but get carried away with the rest of the crowd's momentum. She claps loudly along with the other husbands and wives whenever the team does well, and stands up, whistling supportively and clapping her hands loudly whenever Holly scores, completely beaming with pride whenever her wife looks up at her with a joyous smile.
As the game draws to a close, she gets so carried away in celebrating Holly's team triumph, that when Holly looks up at her after scoring the winning point, her eyes seeking Gail's out for approval and her face lighting up with the most beautiful smile as Gail cheers louder than anybody else, Gail can't help but feel the deep adoration she feels for Holly crashing over her overwhelmingly, and lifts her hand, instinctively, to sign 'I love you' down at her.
It's only as she sees Holly's brows furrow in confusion at the unexpected gesture, her head tilting to the side questioningly that Gail realises what she's done. Luckily, she's saved from her panic of having to explain herself by Holly's team-mates running over to throw their arms around her in celebration, stealing Holly's attention away from her briefly.
Gail releases a deep breath, glad that she's gotten away with her slip-up, and feels relief washing over her, stopping only when she catches the eye of one of the other wives who smiles approvingly at her and tells her she's 'very sweet'. It makes Gail's chest tighten with worry at being caught out, and she just hopes the wives aren't as gossipy as McNally and Price because if they are Holly may end up knowing the truth of her feelings for her before the day is over, and she's not sure she and Holly are quite ready for that yet despite all the progress they seem to be making.
When she finally makes it down from the stands, Holly has managed to draw herself away from her team-mates and jogs over to her excitedly, a bright smile still curling at her lips.
"It wasn't so bad being a sports fan, right?" Holly asks her, her voice hopeful. "Think you may want to come and watch me in all my athletic glory again sometime?"
Gail nods and smiles reassuring back at her. "You were amazing, Lunchbox," she replies softly. "Who knew you were so competitive though, that other team didn't stand a chance with you moving around the pitch like lightening."
"Lightening Stewart was actually my nickname in school," Holly laughs making Gail smile harder at her dorky best friend, and then, lowering her voice into a murmur, asks, "What did you sign at me?"
The question makes Gail's breath lodge in her throat, the words desperately trying to crawl up from her chest and push past Gail's lips to set themselves free, except it still doesn't feel right, to just blurt it out, to take Holly by surprise like this with the weight of her evolving feelings, especially not when they're surrounded by other people.
"It just meant 'victor'," Gail stutters out breathlessly, the lie making her lungs burn and her heart pinch painfully, and forcing her to add a small smile in with her answer just so Holly doesn't catch on to how utterly unconvincing her answer is. "You were the MVP of the match, Hol."
She sees the way Holly's eyes flash with slight confusion and disbelief, but before she can question Gail further, Holly's team-mates approach them, offering them both a bottle of beer and toasting them in celebration.
"'Your girl's right to cheer you on so heartedly, Dr. Stewart, you really were the MVP," the wife who caught her signing at Holly chips in, saving Gail by distinguishing the lingering doubt in Holly's eyes and replacing them with an affectionate warmth as the rest of the team echo the sentiment. "You're lucky to have such a supporter."
Even though Gail feels her heart beating happily and knows she's blushing slightly at the notion of being known among them simply as 'Holly's girl', a part of her thinks she should probably correct them as to who she really is before the rumour spreads too far.
But before she can, Holly simply steps closer to her and slides her arm around her shoulders, drawing Gail closer into her side and leans in press a kiss to Gail's temple, smiling softly at her as Gail turns her head to meet her warm, loving dark eyes, and murmurs fondly, "I know, I'm the luckiest woman alive."
The sincerity of Holly's words makes Gail's head spin, her heart pounding so rapidly in her chest that it leaves Gail breathless in such a way that she knows she's just fallen for her best friend all over again. As Holly keeps her arm around her why they share a drink with her team, not objecting in the slightest to Gail being known as hers, and holding her impossibly close as she smiles over at Gail every few seconds with so much affection that Gail thinks she may burst from it, she wonders – more hopefully than she has ever before – if this is a sign that Holly may be coming to terms with where her feelings truly lie for her.
While Gail knows she can often be quick to anger, spewing bitchy snark-laced insults and even getting into a few screaming matches over the years – with her parents who were reluctant to let her go travelling after graduating high school, thinking she should keep her mind focused on Peckspectations instead, and with Nick who constantly let her down and reminded her that he barely knew her when he should have been the person to know her best – Gail can count on a single hand the number of times she's heard Holly raise her voice in true anger over the five years that they've been friends.
The first time Gail witnessed her usually calm, cool and collected best friend burst into a ball of flaming rage was the first time Holly had introduced her to Lisa and Rachel. She'd warned Gail on the walk to The Penny that Lisa could be an elitist snob at times, but Gail had simply brushed the comment aside without a second thought, and so when she did overhear Lisa's real opinions about her later that night, the words had caught her a little off-guard and stung enough to make her eyes prickle with humiliated tears. But before she could swallow them down and lash out defensively, Holly had erupted into a cutting tone that left Lisa reeling and apologising as she told her where to stick her outdated and unwanted opinions, Holly's dark, fierce eyes piercing warningly at her oldest friend as she settled her palm soothingly at Gail's back and led her safely away.
The second time had been when a serial killer had targeted the city, overloading Holly's department with work. It hadn't helped that Rodney had been off sick, leaving Holly to handle the workload alone except for the 'help' of a particularly useless lab assistant who had dropped an important collection of blood samples all over the morgue floor before Holly had even had the chance to run them. Gail vividly remembers the clashing sound of glass hitting the floor and shattering everywhere, and the way Holly had swiftly turned towards the sound like hunter alerted to its prey, her eyes narrowed dangerously and her mouth set into a furious scowl before she exploded into a reprimanding tirade that left the careless lab assistant running from the room crying and Gail shocked still, blinking at Holly and the mess with startled wide-eyes.
But the time Gail remembers Holly's true anger flaring up the clearest, is when she got to experience the weighted fury of it first-hand. She had turned down every opportunity offered to her to go undercover in the years since the whole nightmare mishap of Perrick, at least that was until Detective Rosatti had turned back up at fifteen division with a case and an offer Gail just couldn't refuse. She had an operation to shut down a sex-trafficking ring that was abducting vulnerable, foreign, young, blonde, teenage girls travelling by themselves. It was a chilling thought, to have such a heinous crime taking place in Toronto, and so when Rosatti had come to her and asked to use her as bait to draw the ringleaders out, Gail found she couldn't not say yes.
The only problem was that she'd had to leave straight away without leaving word of her going to anyone, but because it was only supposed to be a forty-eight hour case, Gail hadn't thought it would be such a big deal, Holly knew she worked crazy hours sometimes. But a few hours in, when they discovered that the ring was much larger than originally anticipated, Gail had learned that she'd be staying in hostels all across Canada for the better part of a month to draw the remaining leaders out. It was a month in which Gail hadn't been able to contact anyone, including her, more than likely worrying herself crazy, best friend, and keep her updated with what she was doing, and the regret at her up and going without so much as even leaving Holly a text slowly started to sink in.
The UC had been a success in the end, countless young girls saved thanks to her hard work and bravery, but when she'd finally been debriefed and turned up late that night at Holly's townhouse with a bunch of gas-station flowers and a sheepish, apologetic smile on her face, Holly had simply looked over with relief, her beautiful dark eyes filling with tears, and then wordlessly slammed the door in Gail's face.
She knew Holly was just overwhelmed at the unexpected sight of her, her nerves more than likely fried from all her freaking out and worry from the past thirty days, and so Gail had braced herself as she let herself in, expecting Holly to babble at her like she had time and time again after she'd been in dangerous situations on the job, only to have Holly take the flowers from her and hit her with them as she yelled, tearily, about not knowing where the hell Gail had been or if she was okay, and worrying herself sick that she'd been kidnapped again since nobody could give her any information no matter how much she asked.
Gail had never felt more awful then, at seeing the stricken look on Holly's face, for being so thoughtless about not ensuring Jo made sure Oliver or someone got word to Holly that she was okay but working undercover. So, she'd let Holly expel her rightful anger, knowing that she needed to get it out of her system, hitting Gail with the bouquet until the flowers were all but mush, and then, when the anger had finally left Holly, she'd wrapped her best friend in her arms and held her tightly, whispering comforting, reassuring apologises into her ear until she felt Holly relax into her, embracing her just as tightly.
As awful as the whole thing was, and as guilty as she'd felt, Gail had felt so blessed in that moment to have someone care that deeply about her, while her parents hadn't even come back from their trip early to see her when Perrick took her, there was Holly, going out of her mind with worry when she'd come out of the UC without a scratch. She'd made a promise to Holly then, always to keep her updated when something dangerous happened or when she was going to take off on an undercover operation, and that had been the moment when she had decided to change her emergency contact information from her parents to Holly. It was her way of extending to Holly the sincerity of her apology, ensuring that way that Holly would be entitled to be in the know a little more.
While Holly's raised her voice slightly in minor anger since then, Gail can't recall the last time Holly was well and truly really angry. It's why the sound of Holly's voice, loud and cutting and echoing out furiously from the lab startles Gail so much as she pauses in the door-jamb of Holly's office, clutching a bag of food that she'd intended to drop by with to surprise Holly with, and watching as Holly paces agitatedly around her office with her back to her.
"When are you two going to stop hating each other, Mom?" Holly hisses tiredly and pinching at the bridge of her nose, her fingers turning white as they curl even tighter against the phone pressed to her ear. "You know what... don't come then, you're both ridiculous. It's supposed to be a celebration of my hard work," she emphasises sadly, her voice quivering with disappointment. "I'm your daughter, you're supposed to be proud that my research is being published and put aside your crap for a few hours to congratulate me, not make it about you and dad again. No, you know what, just forget it, since neither of you can get over yourselves enough to actually be happy for me, I'm uninviting you both."
Gail watches as Holly jabs at the phone violently, abruptly ending the call before turning to throw it down carelessly on her desk, her eyes shining wetly as they brim with frustrated tears and her face etching over with overwhelming hurt.
The word of Holly's research finally getting the official go ahead to be published is news to her, and while it stings a little to know that Holly didn't tell her about it first, she can't help but feel her heart pinch sorrowfully for her best friend, knowing how much her parents animosity emotionally wounds her, always the ever present thorn prickling unrelentingly in Holly's side.
She knows the story of Holly's parents well, how they'd gotten married young and on a whim after only dating for a couple of months, their friends encouraging the reckless decision by saying that they were perfect for each other. Only, as it turns out, they weren't perfect for each other at all. What had seemed like a good match as teenagers turned out not to be a good match as they matured into adults, their interests going in different directions and tearing their once young and naive love apart as they grew more and more unable to stand each other.
In the end, they'd only stayed together because they discovered they were expecting an unplanned, accident baby. They'd foolishly thought staying together would be the best thing for their daughter. Only growing up as a child in a two-parent family with parents who could barely tolerate each other and argued constantly had left Holly more emotionally scarred than they could ever image. Their inevitable divorce had been a blessing for an eleven-year old Holly, and yet it had also been a curse, one which has tainted Holly's ability to trust easily and made her fiercely guard her heart.
Her mother and father have never been able to get over their self-inflicted bitterness to be there for Holly together when she's needed them both, forcing her to always have to deal with them separately, and never truly allowing her to enjoy and celebrate her own achievements with her family like she so desperately yearns for.
From what she's just witnessed, Gail knows that today is just another heart-wrenching reminder of that for Holly, and she loathes that her best friend will be in unbearable pain because of it.
"Hey," Gail says softly, alerting Holly to her presence and coming further into her office. She sets the bag of food down on Holly's desk as Holly turns to her with tear-stained cheeks, and holds open her arms as she closes the remaining distance between them, letting Holly wordlessly know she heard the whole exchange, and wrapping Holly safely in her loving arms as Holly falls willingly into her embrace, grasping at Gail tightly as she cries quietly into her shoulder. "Don't let them ruin it for you, Hol," she whispers, pressing a kiss to Holly's head and soothing her palms comfortingly up and down Holly's back as her sobs turn into sniffles. "You've been working so hard, and you have every right to want to celebrate that."
"I just wanted them to be proud of me, you know?" Holly hiccups with a sniffle, drawing back to meet Gail's gaze and reaching up to wipe at her eyes. "I know it's probably stupid of me to still hope they can move past all their shit, but when I got the call saying my research would be published in this year's forensic pathologist collection journal, I wanted them to be the first to know. I wanted to invite them to have dinner with me tonight and celebrate with me, but of course they both refused to be in the same fucking room, even for me."
Gail frowns sadly back at her, feeling Holly's hurt radiating out excruciatingly around the room. "I know it's not the same, but I'm proud of you, Hol, extremely proud," she murmurs lovingly, reaching up to thumb away a fresh tear escaping from Holly's eye, "and I'd be absolutely honoured to celebrate your success with you."
"Thank you, that means more to me than you know," Holly whispers, nuzzling into Gail's palm and reaching up to cover Gail's hand with her own, holding her touch in place for a second before drawing Gail's hand around to her mouth to press her lips to Gail's palm in a soft, appreciative kiss. The simple gesture stealing the breath from Gail's lungs and making her gasp slightly as her heart flutters wildly in her chest. "I should have called you first," Holly exhales guiltily. "I'm sorry I didn't, honey."
Gail shakes her head reassuringly. "Don't be silly, I get why you wanted your parents to be the first to hear about it, Hol, even if they're unsupportive idiots. I'm getting the news about it from you in person now, and that's way better," she says with a smile and watching as Holly attempts to give her one in return. "Do you want me to see if I can have Dov and Chris give them a bunch of speeding tickets as revenge? Or maybe I can get Steve to plant some guns on them, have them spend a few nights in a cell to think about their stupid life choices and how they're missing out on their wonderful daughter." Holly's lips briefly curl up a little more at Gail's playful suggestion but she shakes her head in refute, her eyes still tinged with deep-rooted sadness. "Let me take you out for a proper celebratory lunch, Lunchbox, we can toast your incredible achievement together, and as a bonus it'll be a big fuck you to your asshole parents."
Holly's mouth twists into a small smile at the suggestion, but she shakes her head, declining the offer. "Thanks, maybe another time, I don't really feel like celebrating right now," she replies dolefully, her voice still laced with hurt and her eyes glimmering dejectedly. "I think I'm actually just going to head home early," she adds, slipping out of her lab-coat and gathering up her belongings.
"Do you want some company?" Gail asks tentatively, already knowing the answer will be no, and hating how useless she feels as she watches Holly morosely withdraw more and more into herself, knowing fully well that there's no way to stop the effect Holly's parents have had on her, but wanting desperately to try anyway.
Holly flicks her eyes momentarily back to Gail's and shakes her head apologetically. "I kinda just want to be alone," she murmurs wistfully, slinging her bag over her shoulder and flashing Gail a sad smile before she hurries out of the her office, leaving Gail's heart pinching sorrowfully as she watches Holly retreat, her shoulders drooping despondently with every step she takes.
She's only ever witnessed her best friend this crestfallen once before, and it was once again the result of Holly's parents and their selfish inability to be civil for Holly's sake. They'd only been friends for around a year when Holly had discovered that she'd been awarded a commendation for her outstanding work on a particularly gruelling murder case Luke had had her working on, her findings being crucial in bringing the guy down. Yet, when she had invited her parents to attend the ceremony, she'd been crushed to find that they'd both refused to come unless the other didn't. Unwilling to pick a side, Holly had told them to work it out between themselves, hoping that they would let their differences go for one night for her sake, and then had ended up utterly devastated when neither of them had showed up to support her.
Gail hadn't realised the true extent of Holly's hurt and disappointment at the time, until the forensic pathologist hadn't showed up for work the following day, calling herself in sick – when she never took a day off even when she actually was sick – and turning her phone off so nobody could contact her. She'd stayed holed up in her house, alone, hidden under her bed covers for nearly a three days before Gail realised just how seriously messed up Holly truly was over the whole situation and took proper action.
It's the closest to depression Gail's ever seen her best friend, and the most worried she's ever been, nothing she tried seeming to be able to break Holly out of her dark, black mood. In the end, at a complete loss with what to do, she'd simply kicked off her shoes and crawled into bed with Holly, pulled the older woman into her arms, and held her impossibly close, whispering words of comfort into her skin until Holly had finally let herself go and broken down into gut-wrenching sobs, allowing Gail to anchor her safely in her loving embrace.
She knows Holly's parents and their nightmare divorce are the reason why Holly is so prickly about the sanctity of marriage and why their reckless drunken eloping weighs heavy on Holly's heart and mind. Gail just hopes that now, just because Holly's research article is all done and dusted with, and her parents being the utter selfish idiots they are, that her best friend won't freak-out again and make any rash and hasty decisions about them and their marriage.
At least not while she's so upset, and while Gail happily waits patiently for Holly to keep working through her complicated feelings for her; feelings that Gail is growing more and more assured Holly does actually have for her, and that with every passing day, seem to be slowly becoming clearer and clearer to Holly now too.
It feels like they've come too far to lose their chance now, and Gail's more determined than ever not to let this hiccup spoil what could turn out to be the best possible thing to ever happen to them. She just has to stop the overshadowing, sad, dark mood Holly's being drawn into from ruining the progress they're making and allowing her to see the beautiful potential of what they could be together.